Rainbow Dash has finally achieved her life long goal to join the wonderbolts and even better: she has found the love of her life.
4 months had past since the proposal and today, Dashie and Soarin were finally going to get married.
Soarin watched as Rainbow Dash walked down the isle in her wedding dress, her belly getting noticeably bigger with the babies she was pregnant with.
She and Soarin stood in front of each other, as the minister went through the process of their vows of marriage.
' Soarin, do you take Rainbow Dash as your lawfully wedded wife, to care for her and to give her the love and support she needs", the minister asked.
" I do", Soarin said.
The minister turned to Dash.
" Rainbow Dash, do you take Soarin as your lawfully wedded husband, to care for him and to give the love and care he needs", the minister asked.
" I do", Rainbow replied.
" Thus, I present to you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride", the minister said.
Soarin kissed Rainbow Dash and the room erupted into clapping and cheers.
They were now married and it was the happiest day of their lives.
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4673177 thanks.
Dang you work fast
Lovely story my dear
I give it 4/4 hearts
-DD
4673185 hehehehe I know I do. Thanks.
Aww!! How cute I love this story :D
4673436 I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Cute. 4 out of 5 mustaches.
Not bad, I think you did well.
4674649 thanks
I'm not trying to diss your story or anything, keep that in mind. Brace yourself for a rather complicated analysis.
Dash and Soarin are a bit out of character here. I feel like they'd be less mushy with their romance; Dash probably wouldn't be responding with as much fluff as she did- maybe she'd be a little more on the teasing side (based on how she acts in the show). Soarin's general character would probably go along the same lines, seeing as how he's around quite a fiery personality most of the time. Then again, we all have our own headcanon, and if you look at the show the right way, we don't see the main characters for much of their lives. Add that to the fact that presumably Dash isn't seeing much of her friends anymore, and she could very well have a good reason to act fluffy. I feel this possible personality aspect was played a little too over the top, however. (And remember I'm not trying to force your stories a certain way. Please don't get that implication.)
The spelling and grammar was easy enough to read through though (thank Celestia)! Overall, I would recommend an editor next time and/or character personality checks. Unfortunately I had to drop a dislike, but who says you can't improve with each story?
Thank you.
4674829 it's okay, man. Thank you for your constructed criticism, I prefer people to be honest and tell me if something is wrong with the story then lie and say it's good when it's not just to make me feel good. Now, let me address the points you brought up: In the context of the story, no, Dash does not see her friends anymore. in fact the last time she saw them was three years ago. As for the way they behave, well, my guess would be that early on, they were like that, but as time went on, the love they felt for each other grew deeper. Also, I 100 percent agree that every story can be improved on. Thank you for your time
O. MY. GOD. THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO AWESOME!
although, the chapters and story overall was very short. 4out of 5 scootaloos
4728097 Glad you enjoyed it, and I get that a lot about the chapter lengths. I'll have to see about improving that
6234248 Aww, thank you. That means alot. I'm working on a story with Vinyl at the moment
6295623 thanks