Molten Gold on a Spring Evening

by coleisfantastic

Chapter 1: A Regular Rendezvous

It was a humid spring evening in Equestria; the flowers had just begun to bud on the apple trees in the orchard that grows around the quaint little village of Ponyville. The previously mentioned orchard was home to a little clubhouse, and that clubhouse was currently inhabited by three beings.
The first of the trio was a young mare by the name of Twilight Sparkle, a friendly Alicorn who was master of the magical arts, as well as being town librarian. She was there to do a pony a favor.
The second was a baby dragon named Spike. Spike was happy enough with his job as Twilight's head-assistant, he had plenty of food, friends, spending money and break time. He was there to help.
The third character in our story was a small spider building an intricate web in the north-west corner of the clubhouse. The spider is not a major character in our story, but is worth mentioning because she should have been the third of four.
"Where could she be Spike?" Twilight asked worriedly.
"I don't know, but I'm starving." Spike answered without turning from the spider he had been observing for the last hour.
"All you ever think about is food." Twilight grumbled. "Grrrrrrrrrr" her belly grumbled too.
"I wish I had brought some sandwiches" She said in a heavily sarcastic tone. This caused Spike to blush heavily, remembering that he had eaten all of the food on the way.
Meanwhile, about a mile away, a small orange figure slid through the expanding shadows of the orchard as night began to fall. She had to hurry, or the others might give up on her coming. But she couldn't move quickly, lest she be seen.
Suddenly she stopped, thinking she heard something. She stood silent in the shadows with an oversized turtleneck pulled up to her snout. She looked slowly from side to side as she backed up against a tree.
As soon as her flank bumped the tree, it shook gently, causing the leaves to rustle slightly. Somewhere above, a single petal came loose from an early blooming flower.
She looked ahead, trying to make out the prowling figure in the darkness in front of her.
It stepped forward, almost to the edge of the clearing in the canopy, almost into the fading light.
Then, from above a little pink petal alighted itself on our hero's nose. This caused her to gasp, which made her inhale pollen. "Ahh..." Scootaloo sniffled, "Ahhhh..." she sniffled again, "Achoooo-fwoosh" she sneezed with all the might her body could muster. Purple flame rapidly filled the area, whatever had been stalking her was now running away yelping in pain as its tail burned with magic fire.
It was not the only thing burned, however, Scootaloo now stood in her freshly burned clearing, resting back on her haunches, rubbing her nose. She hated when she couldn't control her fire. Now she didn't have her turtleneck, turns out, wool is very flammable and smells nasty when it burns.
Scootaloo fixed a couple of her misaligned scales as she tried to wave the smell away with her leathery wings, this only stirred the hot air, causing a nearby bush to catch fire.
Suddenly, the bush was glowing bright purple along with the bubble around it. Then it disappeared with a pop.
"Where did you send it, Twilight? Also, sorry I'm late." Scootaloo mumbled.
"Oh, that's okay Scootaloo, I just saw a fire and came running, you really should be more careful... Blah, blah, blah" Twilight's voice faded to white noise as Spike stared at the beautiful sight in the clearing.
Scootaloo was a bit younger than he was, but roughly the same size. Her scales were the color of molten gold with a slight purple tint from the reflections of the fire surrounding her body. The row of purple scales along her head and back were glowing brightly in the setting sun. Her eyes were a grey-violet that matched nicely with her scales. Her wings were outstretched, allowing the fading light to cascade onto her face as her lips moved in slow motion, possibly to form words. Maybe even directed at him. Wouldn't that just be the coolest if she would talk to him.
"Wow..." Spike mumbled.
"That is not a valid answer to her question, Spike." Twilight grumbled again.
"What question?" Spike said, realizing suddenly that the others were staring at him.
"I asked if you were hungry too, Spike." Scootaloo said quickly, even that was perfect, Spike thought.
"Wow..." Spike repeated, zoning out again. Twilight face-hoofed. "Whatever, just don't move for a sec, okay?"
"Okay" Scootaloo said heroically.
"Wow..." Spike said again.
Then Twilight's horn began to glow brightly as she worked her magic, literally.
Spike was lifted off the ground first, and he didn't move a muscle, to busy thinking. Next Scootaloo rose beside him, and a spell wrapped the pair in a shield as a wisp of purple fire came out of Scootaloo's snout. It swirled through the air between the two, finally coming to rest on Spike's snout.
"Spike?" The now-pony Scootaloo questioned. "Are you okay?"
He had been to absorbed in watching her transform to do his part of the spell, he was supposed to consume to wisp, or dragon-essence as Twilight called it. So he did, slurping the flame down like it was a noodle; an insanely spicy soul noodle.
The heat did not catch him off-guard, they did this spell every weekend, he had gotten used to the burn. But no matter how much they did this, he could never focus when she was in her dragon form. He didn't know why, Twi called it "Puberty", whatever that means.
But now that their weekly spell was done, they needed to get dinner.

Comments

[coleisfantastic]

Hi to whoever reads this, I am just starting out as a writer and a bit of constructive criticism would not go amiss, also i typed this at 1 in the morning on my iPhone, don't judge me to harshly on volume of content, my thumbs were getting sore. ~coleisfantastic~

[panzerbrony]

for a first story, I am impressed. the only issue I can see is that it looks like a wall of text. this can be remedied by hitting the enter key twice.
along with that there are bits where you are "telling" instead of "showing".
[quote The previously mentioned orchard was home to a little clubhouse, and that clubhouse was currently inhabited by three beings.]

The previously mentioned orchard was also home to a little wooden clubhouse, and that clubhouse was currently inhabited by three beings.

most of the time you got to make the story seem like the reader is in the world you have created. Best way to do that is to add words that appeal to our senses of sight, sound, smell, taste[ if things are being eaten or drank], and touch.
for example imagine we are in a diner in ponyville I will finish this at a later time, something else has been brought to my attention irl

[panzerbrony]

as we enter the diner, we are instantly engulfed in the smells of fresh baked bread, crisp greens, the scent of citreous from oranges and the crisp smell of hay fries. soon we are met by our server pony, a bright and chipper young mare. Over her orange fur and mustard yellow mane, she wore turquois shirt and baseball cap.
good evening gentle colts, my name is Sundrop and I will be your server tonight at the Café.
after we order our meals, we take in the ambiance emitted by the restraint. there were cloud white walls decorated by shelves holding various pictures, signed shirts and small memorabilia that told the town's story without making a single sound.

soon our meals arrive steaming and sizzling. as we eat our steaming hot fajitas filled with greens, we make some small talk while listening to the general chatter and dinking of silverware,And drinking fresh cider after a while we pay our bill and tip the sever well for the good service and exit out the door.

now point out the things that made it really feel like we were there in person.

rating 9/10
Prize tiger 2 tank
s1.goodfon.su/wallpaper/previews-middle/428990.jpg
fear the german might!

[StardustSurvivor]

this was good, but it feels obscenely incomplete. you cant really call this romance if there isnt any romance to speak of, its just spike ogling scootaloo as a dragon before/during some kind of spell

[coleisfantastic]

Thank you for the advice, I was thinking about a second chapter (that's why it seemed incomplete.) I like the continuation you came up with! I am going to go read some of your stuff. Thanks again.
~coleisfantastic~

[Zeyon The Green]

... What did I read? I mean it needs a bit more coherence, I am pretty confused. Fleshing it out could help. Overall too there are too many questions in my head as to what is going on. What is this weekly spell and what is going on with it? I'd say more but I am to tired to type the spoilers thing. Too late at night...

[N7_Spartan117]

Do you mind if I add this story to my Scootapike group I am starting

[New Lunar Principality]

Please make a sequel

[LavendarRegards]

I really like this story.

But, I'm curious why Scootaloo is turning into a dragon once a week? Has she always been a dragon? Are they simply suppressing her draconic attributes?

Also, it is clear Scootaloo is trying to hide her transformation. How did Spike and Twilight find out? Did Scootaloo come to the library first thing when the changes started? Does Scootaloo's parents (assuming she has any) know?