• Published 22nd Apr 2014
  • 742 Views, 39 Comments

Most Stereotypical Fanfic Ever!!!!11!one!1 - DecadantHandshake



This oneshot will detail the story of our red and black alicorn OC named shadow crusher nine thousand and one. I read alot of stupid fanfics on FIMFiction, and I felt the need to spit in their faces, this is my output.

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Stereotypicalness is equal to or greater than yes

Author's Note:

Not sure how I feel about this fanfic, I really only made it in spite of the stupid and played out stories and OCs that I find all the live long day. Also, I was in the mood to make a story character my puppet and screw with him alot. Don't I already do that in other stories? Maybe.

One night, Luna snuck into Celestia's bedroom and stole her Rule 63 gun and shot Celestia with it. Fun time quickly ensued. And thus, Shadowcrusher9001 was born. He is a black and red OC with a troubled past. This is his story. When Celestia...oops, I mean Luna, gave birth to Shadow, she immediatly knew he was destined to suck, so she donated him to a tribe of timberwolves. He hunted with the wolves in the forest until he was four years old. Then, his parent timberwolves were killed by a pack of timberwolves. That pack of timberwolves were his parent timberwolves. And so he was orphaned, walking through the forest for thousands of years. When he finally found his way out, Luna had been banished and had returned and was Nightmare moon. When he finally found his way out after those thousands of years, he was eighteen years old, perfectly logical. He walked out of the forest and towards Ponyville, and muttered the first few words he had ever spoken in hundreds of years.

"...I ARE TEH PWNZER!" And with these amazingly incomprehensible words, he strode towards Ponyville, his really stupid and overly flamboyant red and black tail dragging behind him. You may be wondering why I haven't told you more about his time in the forest, but that is because this is a challenge for you. I want you to go to every stupid Red and Black Alicorn OC story out there, and copy and paste the characters backstory into one Microsoft word document, and then add it into the area of the story where his backstory would be. Whatever you get, accept it as fact.

He strode up to Twilights library, somehow knowing who she was, probably explained in the backstory you made for him, and knocked on her door. She immediately answered, like in all fanfics, instead of taking a few minutes like people in real life do.

"Twilight, I am now the seventhest Elemental of Harmonation." Twilight gazed at him, the writer of this story not sure how she should respond.

"Wafflebuckets!" She announced, feeling confident that this was the correct answer.

"Indeed. Fare the well under these troubled skies, McJiggles." And so he left, and Equestria was safe once more, thanks to THE POWERPUFF GIRLS! I think the writer of the story forgot to say what time of day it was, so lets say it was night in some parts of ponyville, and day in other parts. In the market, which was a day part, Applejack was setting up her stand, trying to make money to afford her granny's alzheimer's medicine. ShadowCrusher9001 walked up to her, and shouted.

"Worst pony!" And then walked away. She stood there, contemplating whether or not to respond.

aFTER WAITING FOR A, oops, caps lock, response, Shadowcrusher9001 left her stand and went to find Rarity. Now, as in alot of really stupid stories, Rarity is a total slut and ends up throwing her hands... er... hooves all over the Red and Black OC. I don;t know whether or not a Black and Red OC would have sex with her or not, so lets make it a dual universe thing. In the first universe he does it, and in the second one he doesn't. In the first universe, he contracts Super Aids from Rarity and dies, but he didn't die in the second one so we will have to fix that. Oh My God! I just realized I have been speaking in the same tense the entire story. I need to make more grammar errors, or this won't count as a really stupid story. Now, he doesn't not want to go see something that isn't Fluttershy, but he got there before tomorrow so we will show it. Okay, thats all the stupidity I can muster, I am going to indent now and take a break.

Okay, the writer is back, now more stupidity, (he didn;t really leave the keyboard). Oh hey, he made a mistake in that one sentence and put a ; instead of a '. Oh well, he isn't in the mood to fix it. He does go to see Fluttershy, and see her does he does. And she and him lived happily ever after. Yayzors. Oh wait, that is only 723 words, and this story needs 1000. Interesting. Whatever should be put in to the story to fix this extremely common and easy to fix problem. One can only wonder. Maybe the writer can babble on about stuff, or maybe he should add on to the story. Oh yes, I think I know the solution.

The Alicorn OC then went to see the ROY G BI-Sexual, who was sleeping in that big ass house of hers. He got there, and made her a boy. Now she could have all the mares she wanted, and it was all thanks to Shadowcrusher9001, who then changed himself into a girl so they could have fun times. Yayzors. The ending. Gah fuck! This story only has 862 words, what the hell man? What else should I put here? I went to Twilights... Rarities... I mean Rarity's... Applejacks... Hehe, Applejack is the name of a alcoholic drink... Fluttershy's... Oh yeah, there is Pinkie Pie... How did the writer forget about his favorite pony? Oh well, time for some cupcake playoffs!

Shadowcrusher9001 walked into the bakery for some reason, this one was at night time. Pinkiepie was in Pinkamena mode, and she killed him to death. And so the story finally developed a sense of logic. The grammar now is orderly, and the writer is content with himself. If only he could go back and fix grammar mistakes without ruining the stupidity of the story. Oh well, hopefully the administrator who reads this will allow it to pass for the sake of spitting in the face of stupidity by culturing it. Oh hey, I still need eight more words. Hmm... Hopefully these eight words or more will do it.

Comments ( 39 )

I hope you all dislike this story, even if you like it. I'm disliking it because it deserves it.

I feel like stories mocking these types of OC's are more common than actual stories about those types of OC's nowadays.

4273804
Agreed. Very few people actually create red and black Alicorn OCs and write poorly-done stories about them these days.

In the first universe, he contracts Super Aids from Rarity

I think I love you. :pinkiehappy:

4273804 Really? Link me to some, so I can like them.

4273804 Well, that just goes to show that the mocking stories are doing their job at destroying the real ones well!

Meh. Such a lame attempt. If you REALLY wanna be awesome, write a fic about a black-and-red skullbutt acorn and MAKE IT GOOD.

4273925 It was made terrible on purpose, mocking the unprofessional and hard to follow manerisms of some stories I have read.

4273879 Thank you so much, at first I thought I should change tenses more and ramble more and mispell their with thier instead, but I guess those changes weren't necessary.

Maybe I should make a story mocking stories that mock Red and Black OC's... and another mocking those kinds of stories...

4273933

That's not mockery, that's 'humor through conformity', which in the end makes your story look like the rest. It's just wearing hipster glasses and a black-white striped scarf.

If you wanna pull off a proper mockery of those stories, you'd be doing it from another view point with sensible characters viewing the absurd red-and-black alicorn OC. You don't mock the concept by writing the concept, you mock a concept by writing what surrounds it.

What would it look like for a character like this to be in a sensible universe? There's your mockery, and the humor comes from the stark contrast between the logical characters, and the illogical red-black stallion hitting on everyone with a horn duct taped to his forehead.



Or, if you want a real challenge, you can go about it another way. Write a sensible story using this red and black alicorn OC as an illogical character at the start, then slowly make them more logical through exposure to others. It's been done. It's been popular. Pulled off right, it can be a rip-roaring adventure full of laughs and fun. Don't go and sell yourself short by just re-writing a concept we've all seen over and over and call it a joke.

4273865 Just one teaspoon of Super Aids in your butt and you're dead in three years.

If ya know what I mean...

Nailed it! Its great.

In attempting to parody bad fanfics, it instead joins their ranks.

4273980 Thank you for your wisdom.

... Some of us merely step around the trash in the street, not attempt to light it on fire.

4274057 well hello there my cosmic double, how goes it?

4274057

Damn, been a while since I've seen you.

4274125
That's one way of putting it...

ROY G BI-Sexual

Holy shit... I'm laughing harder than I should.

4274205 Well the credit for that line goes entirely to xXSoundspeedXx. My top three Commentators on Youtube, Like Comment and Subscribe to him. If you want to hear that line used originally, go watch his commentaries of My Little Pony: Turnabout Storm. He has them all in a playlist, his channel is very orderly and easy to navigate, so you should have no trouble finding it.

My next story will probably be a chapter story, but maybe not because I am already working with plenty of chapter stories. It is going to be a Human fic where the Cutie Mark Crusaders are Police Officers in Grand Theft Auto. I came up with this idea when watching a lets play of Grand Theft Auto by LostInPlace, where he and two friends were driving a helicopter and crashing hilariously.

4274242 Sounds interesting! But just warnimg you, a lot of people won't like that.

4274405 I don't write for other people, I write for myself. I enjoy reading my own stories, being surprised by my own humor. The fact that other people like my stories is a wonderful bonus, but honestly, I never asked a person to read my stories. I am surprised that anyone even found my stories in the first place.

4274242

So basically, Scootaloo, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle hanging out by their patrol cruiser, eating donuts and watching criminals crash helicopters all over the place?

I could get behind that, sure. GTA's certainly batshit insane enough for a story like that to work!

4274456 Its up, go check out "The Trio of Terror" on my page.

That was... exceedingly hilarious.:rainbowlaugh: Thanks for that.

4381324 Thank you for taking the time to read. IF you enjoyed this, maybe you will like "The Daily Grinder". It has similar humor, but with a darker tone. Enjoy yourself.

4269494 Not sure whether to like or dislike >.> I like it because it's true, but told to dislike to spite the stupidity. I'll just leave it...I guess? Thanks for writing! :twilightsmile:

4701296 Spite the stupidity? Why would someone spite stupidity?

4701486 ...Your A/N said you were disliking the story yourself due to the stupidity of these types of narratives. You disliking your own fic is spiting on the utter absurdity of these fics; and by spitting on them you are demonstrating a form of spite due to the dislike of the genre. Also, it's fun to say. (We all act stupid, and we all strive to not do this. I was mainly talking in this specific instance: the stupidity of Red/Black Alicorn OC's. Having spite for stupidity in and of itself as a concept would be quite... intriguing)

4701597 Oh, LOL, I thought we were talking about another story of mine, The Kingdom of Tom, yeah this story sucks balls.

4701597 Hey, I've just revisited your comment. Could you please elaborate, if you are able, on this statement?

"Having spite for stupidity in and of itself as a concept would be quite... intriguing)"
I may wish to explore the concept in a new project.

"Twilight, I am now the seventhest Elemental of Harmonation." Twilight gazed at him, the writer of this story not sure how she should respond.

PFFFFT, HA!

10/10

This story speaks to me on a metaphysical level. After all, over-the-top and blown-out-of-proprotion satire is often the best.

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