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Sense? When does anything make sense?3,535 words
Why Pinkie Promises are stupid2,690 words
Why are you bitching?3,915 words
Bad things are happening.2,204 words

Bad things are happening.

"What the hell?" I say with a mixture of a shocked, upset, and appalled face at what I'm seeing. All around me was just this....insane hodgepodge of things just....doing something. Cat's with wings flying on the ground upside down, rainbows raining skittles, random frogs doing a single jig all together, colors inverting and going back to normal as I continue to walk around...whatever the hell this is. "Discord! What the hell are you doing?" I call out with a frown.

"I'm not doing this." A voice says while a flash shows....a human with Discords voice.

"Oh god...Discord why do you look like Q?" I ask, wondering why the once draconiqi now looks like a human in a Star Trek outfit.

"I don't know I just look like this." Discord says with a shrug, snapping his fingers and magically getting a bag of popcorn. "But this my friend...this is pure chaos and I love it."

"When someone's being disemboweled by a fucking broom!" I shout while seeing a random broom covered in blood while digging out a bison's internal organs. I held a hand up to my mouth and forced myself not to throw up and looked away from such a thing.

"Okay yes that is horrid." Discord says in disgust before throwing his popcorn bag and causing an explosion in some random direction.

"Seriously what the fuck is going on?" I ask honestly, thankfully biding back the urge to vomit. "If this is the chaos realm I somehow stumbled upon I hate it here."

"Well there are many chaos dimensions but...this isn't one I've ever seen or been to." Discord says which surprised me a lot. "What? You expect me to know everything about chaos?"

"Yeah pretty much." I nod.

"Well there are many different things about chaos." Discord was about to say before the wind blew past and a 'shink' sound echoed before I saw Discord/Q get a sword in the gut. "Well...isn't that something." DisQord says with a frown while seeing the crystal like blade pierce him. "Now that's not fun at all."

"I'm just gonna go in a direction and hope for the best..." I say before starting to run.

(two hours later)

"Oh for christ sakes!" I roar while looking down and seeing I'm running on a fucking treadmill that forced me back to where I began.

"Chaos realms are finicky indeed." Discord says with a shrug. "But this is a new brand of finicky if I could say anything."

"How is that possible?" I frown.

"My brand of chaos is the more....joke variant." DisQord says with a shrug. "You see I do it more just to have fun and laugh, have you seen anyone really get hurt because of my direct actions?"

"A little." I say.

"Okay besides that one time." Discord frowns.

"Then none actually." I say in surprise, thankfully back to square one(which happened to be in the shape of home plate) and not on a treadmill anymore.

"I do things for fun, not to harm anyone. I harm people in indirect ways, do I wish them harm? No I don't, but I just want to see the world in a giant circle of chaos that everyone can actually enjoy."

"Like chocolate rain clouds?" I ask honestly.

"Of course like chocolate rain clouds! Whoever thought that was a bad idea can get a cane shoved up their ass for all I care." DisQord says before looking around. "But this....this is just a mess. I mean it's full of fun things that are just silly...but then there are the dark...and I'm scared to say even darker corners of this space that I wouldn't dare go to." The space bender says with a shudder.

"And I suppose the guy that shoved a crystal sword in your stomach?"

"I wasn't hurt given I feed off of chaos energy and this place is...special." Discord says.

"All I see is things bad happening." I frown while continuing to look around, still seeing either buildings playing ping pong, a rabbit beating rhino's in arm wrestling contests, and the odd malformed monstrosity just walking about like there off to work or something. "Seriously it looks worse then a video game gli-" I was about to say before my face suddenly had a piece of duck tape over it.

"Don't say that word." Discord says while looking around quickly. "Trust me, the worse thing you can say in a dimension like this is that word." Q/Discord says in fear.

I just stare at him, wondering what the fuck is going on here. I take off the piece of tape and grumble about it hurting but shook my feet a little. "Why? Is it taboo?" I ask honestly.

"Even Chaos has rules believe it or not." Discord frowns.

"I doubt that when it's basically 'do whatever the fuck you want'." I frown.

"It depends on what kind of chaos user you are. If you're just using a brand of magic that helps animate objects that's all you can do. If you're like me then you can't directly do harm to others but you can bend gravity and other things to your will....but to this extent..." Discord says while motioning to everything. "This is something even a well trained chaos user can't do."

"I really wish I knew what all that meant...but I'm just going to be leaving." I frown before finding a 'this way' sign and walking towards it. "You can tag along if you want."

"No..." Discord says before readying to leave himself. "This is something you have to do." Discord says before leaving.

"Well shit." I grumble while looking up to see a giant mountain.

(hours later)

I continue to run from a hoard of rabid squirrels, don't ask why or how it just happened. As I ran along I had monsters wave at me, see this mauling each other but laughing like they'll just recover from half their bodies gone and all sorts of hell that makes no sense. As I continue to run from the squirrels, I was forced to turn right cause magically a giant boulder appeared and was rolling straight towards me.

Now here's the part where I explain exactly what happened in every single bit of order that things happen...but honestly I can't given it was all a bunch of clusterfucks after another that I can't rightly explain but all I can say is after so much tedium, so much crap to deal with, so much running, and for some reason hopscotching, I somehow made it to the top of the mountain. "For...fuck....sakes..." I pant and looking around, wondering if I'm actually done.

"Congrats, your done." I hear someone say. "Is what I would say if you weren't late."

"Oh fuck you." I frown. "No I'm done."

"Like hell you are." The voice says while a being appears, and the slightest bit of it just jerking out of place.

"Oh yeah? How so?" I ask honestly.

"You're going to do this all over again until you get here on time." The being frowns, a slight static noise fills the air.

"And why should I?" I ask honestly. "Cause I think I made great time. Look, the sun isn't done with it's tea." I say while pointing up to the son, while it was true the sun was drinking tea it poured another cup for itself. "And why should I listen to you? This realm doesn't abide by logic."

"You will abide by my logic since I created it." The being growls, getting testy with my lack of cooperation.

"You still haven't given me an answer." I say with a shrug.

"To what question?" It asks with a frown.

"That question." I say, and I grin and see it only getting more made.

"What question!"

"Wow you really are dumb if you don't know that question." I chuckle, which only makes the static sounds more apparent.

"It's either you do as I say or I will force you down." It growls, and I say it and barely gave a description because again it's a malformed creature covered in candy, blood, rocks, and many more things...as it was clearly being cut in bits.

"For a being that made a chaos dimension you really suck at the rules." I say with a shrug.

"The creator makes the rules." It says, it's voice cracking involuntarily even though it said it clear enough.

"You sure? What's the first rule of chaos dimensions?" I ask honestly.

"I don't have time for this!" It says before suddenly throwing a blade at me.

"Glitch." I say and the blade dissolves into pixels.

"Wh-what did you just say?" The being in front of me twitches, more static and glitch noises being apparent.

"A friend of mine said that you can't say 'glitch' in a chaos dimension." I say while the world around me starts to shift. "It seemed weird given Discord was questioning the things around us and I wanted to call it as it was since it was way to clustered for stuff like this. So I call out glitch."

"Stop saying that."

"Glitchy glitchy glitch glitch." I say with a growing grin, while the thing starts going all over the place in the malformed creatures spot like a character model glitching out.

"Stop."

"Glitch glitch."

"Sto-"

"Glitchy." I say in a sing song tone before I smile in triumph as the thing finally disappears...only to start frowning as everything around me just starts dissolving. "Oh shit!" I shout before running away, only to trip in a whole and fall into an even bigger hole and suddenly I blacked out.

"Gah!" I scream before bolting up right and looking around. I was sitting on a comfy bed in a dark room, and the moonlight that came threw the window I saw my clothes on the ground, a dresser, a violin case, some posters of famous...griffins and pegasi?

"What's wrong?" I heard a feminine voice asks while I look down and see Gilda looking up with sleepy yellow eyes.

"Uh..." I stutter, and look around to see my clothes on the ground...and I mean all the clothes I had on for this little trip to Equestria.... "Uh....Gilda...mind telling me what happened?" I ask shakily.

"Well..." Gilda yawns before explaining how I came back to check up on things, bitch slapped Blueblood for being a prick, found Gilda and then we went to a party(which I swore to myself I wouldn't drink) then Gilda helped me back home since I was drunk from too many people telling me to drink so she didn't drink...then I listened to her play violin and then bed things happened.

"Bed things?" I stutter, my entire face heating up and that kind of thought.

"You lasted way longer then some griffins did...and it was amazing." Gilda sighs out happily.

"Uh..." I don't know what to say. "Can I get a glass of water?"

"Yeah." Gilda nods. "If you want to go another round then I wouldn't mind." Gilda purrs happily, and then giggles at me sputtering like an idiot. "Your such a dweeb, go on get your drink." The griffiness says while I head off to get a drink and hope to christ bad things wouldn't keep happening.

"And that's how my sister Maud got her cutie mark!" Pinkie says in a cheery mood.

"Pinkie...." Twilight takes a deep breath, while me and Gilda both blush horribly at hearing such things. "None of those things happened."

"I wish bed things happened." I mutter while hearing Gilda slightly purr at such ideas.

Author's Note:

I know this is bad, I know it's full of grammer mistakes, but that's fine since this chapter is about bad things happening. Even if it makes literally no sense(and come on my story is about not making sense) Hope you like it(now I'll be off getting some snacks after this atrocity is read by people)

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Xinrick

Xinrick #1 · Apr 2nd, 2016 · · ·

I'm so surprised no one has pointed out how bad my newest chapter is.

Lloyd01251

Lloyd01251 #2 · Jun 18th, 2016 · · ·

Ah well the randomness and the humor make up for it to somehow I find it funny to see the human shipped with Gilda

Xinrick

Xinrick #3 · Jun 18th, 2016 · · ·

7315984 I have a feeling you mean the grammer is shitty but the randomness and humor makes up for it and the shipping between the two is thankfully funny.

Lloyd01251