Why are you bitching?
Why are you bitching?
"Can people stop kidnapping me?" I yell, yet again being kidnapped from my own home to talk to people.
"Shut it, dweeb." A brash griffiness says sternly.
"Well fuck you too then." I retort. "You kidnapped me here for a reason, so what is it?"
"No talking back, alright?" A pompous filly voice asks me as well.
"I can talk back as much as I want. Also, if you didn't tie me up then I would certainly kick the ever loving crap out of all of you." I say bluntly.
"Do you really think that you could harm the-" A unicorn was about to say before I cut in.
"Yes, the 'Bitchy and over confident' Trixie, the one that thinks she's so special when she's nothing but a street performer that was taken down too many pegs that you're still in denial." I say, getting the mare to huff angrily.
"Listen, we don't want fights to occur here alright?" An orange unicorn says next.
"What do you people want with me? I just wanted to get some sleep~." I whine a little, struggling a little against my bindings and getting a small rip in it. "Also, whoever was put in charge of the rope tying used pretty shitty rope." I think to myself, keeping that in mind for later.
"Listen, we heard from Twilight that you're the new teacher in Equestria, one that goes against anyone's views and gives them straight, blunt answers that they wouldn't want to hear. Lord Xinrick."
"Well at least someone did there-Wait...I'm a lord?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. "I don't remember anyone telling me that the last time I was here." I frown.
"Yes, the last time you were here, Twilight brought it up with Celestia, and since she knew you were going to come here again she decided to make you a lord." The sunset-colored unicorn says.
"Okay....so why does Trixie..." I say, seeing Trixie wanted to right it. "If you dare say 'the great and powerful' I will show you great and powerful with my shoe shoved up your plot hole." I threaten, causing the mare to shut up completely. "Next is Sunset Shimmer, don't know why you want me here or why your back in Equestria, then Gilda...which I can slightly understand, and for some reason....Diamond Tiara for some reason." I sigh out. "Let me guess, you want me to talk to you all about how not to be bitches?" I ask honestly.
"What's a bitch?" Diamond asks honestly.
"It's a bad word that you shouldn't be saying...but in other words it means your all mean, naggy, complainy, full of yourselves, and just plain old stupid." I explain.
"Please, you call me? The-" Trixie was about to start before I glare at her. "Er-Trixie, a bitch because of what?"
"You're full of yourself, you've been shown up by someone better than you multiple times, even when you pretty much cheated with a forbidden amulet, caused half of Ponyville to be destroyed by an Ursa Minor- I don't care if Snips and Snails, did it's just as much at fault for going that far." I explain to her.
"I could have taken it easily." Trixie scoffs, which everyone looked at her. "What?" She says nervously, people still giving her an unamused look.
"Anyways, Gilda, the griffiness. Thinks she's cool...but really, drop the high school bull shit here." I say simply.
"I'm not even in high school, so why would I still be like that?" Gilda asks, not getting it at all.
"You act all 'cool', only have, or had, one friend. Seeing other people as 'chumps' or 'dweebs' when either they actually want to see the good in you or they don't have the whole 'cool' thing. And all around stuff I saw in high school a lot." I explain, her getting it now and glaring at me. "You hate people, or ponies...I still don't know, but besides that you hate them for pretty much no reason. You stole food, you messed with an old lady no less, could have killed her actually based on how old she was, and was straight up just a bitch." I explain with a shrug.
"Hey, don't call me that again." Gilda growls, glaring at me.
"I know you're a griffin and all, but seriously you can kind of give up on the 'tough girl' act. I wouldn't be surprised if you played the piano or violin and I'd think it's wonderful." I say, causing the griffin to act shocked and blush a little.
"W-why would I play such 'geeky' instruments?" Gilda stutters a little, wagging her tail in front of her a little.
"I knew it." I chuckle a little. "But I'll try to get more out of you about that later. Next up, the prissy filly herself, Diamond Tiara." I say with a little grin.
"Who are you calling 'prissy'?" The pink filly asks with a frown.
"You, my very bossy, bullying, spoiled brat." I say bluntly. "I know you're just a filly and all, living in the life of luxury, but how sadder can you get?" I ask honestly.
"What do you mean?" She asks, curious as to why I'm saying such fake things about her.
"Let's see now...you only have one friend that doesn't mooch off of you if you ever decided to have friends, you bully three fillies constantly because they pretty much have better lives then you, which I will get into later, you always flaunt around like an idiot because you think you're special, and what's so special about you? You have a tiara for a cutie mark, what does it mean? Your self respect is as fragile as that fake tiara on your head?" I ask honestly, causing Diamond to recoil at my harsh words.
"How...how dare you." She says, tearing up a bit at hearing such mean words. "None of that is true, none of it!" She shouts at me.
"You all wanted me to be perfectly clear and honest here, right?" I ask, everyone besides Diamond nodding in conformation. "Then I will be honest. Diamond, you are the worst filly ever, I have a feeling Silver Spoon is better at making friends and you trample over her like a doormat sometimes. The only reason why she's your friend, at least in my opinion, is that if she wasn't your friend and was friends with others, you'd make fun of her for having more friends because she's rich while your still mean and prissy. Got it?" I ask, the poor filly having her world crash down by my words.
"Dude, I think you went a little too far there..." Gilda says with a little frown.
"Coming from the griffin that screamed at a shy pegasus wanting to make sure a family of ducks come across the street, making her fly away in tears?" I retort to her. "You may not be prissy, or as bad as Diamond....since my world only gave you one episode of screen time, but seriously Diamond is terrible. Making fun of kids because they don't have a special talent, because they can't fly worth a damn, or just because she can." I say with an honest glare.
"That's enough." Trixie says, taking a step forward to me.
"And what are you going to do? The 'Great and Powerful' Trixie should be able to slay an Ursa Major, fell giants with a bat of her eye, and should live up to all her boasting, but when the going gets tough you break down sobbing because you made it all up." I say, which makes said unicorn flinch a bit. "And when someone actually steps up to save the day, you hate them because they can back up their words, but you wanted to duel her to begin with and Twilight didn't stand up or do anything because she had humility and was humble and didn't want to boast." I explain. "Great and Powerful my ass." I say in anger.
"I knew you were blunt but...this is just a little too much." Sunset says with a frown, seeing Diamond crying over my words, Gilda look down sadly and have Trixie relive bad memories of her past failures.
"Oh and Sunset Shimmer..." I say, which causes her to jolt a little bit at my words. "I may not know what actually happened between you and Celestia, but from what I know from looking around on more of the back story of this place from my world, you were such a happy and powerful unicorn, always striving to make Celestia proud. But when your greed for power got too much, you two had a falling out...then you abandoned it all because Celestia was worried that she'd have to do the exact same thing she did to her own family." I explain, not knowing all of her history but at least pointing out the comic I've seen on the internet.
"Then you ran to another human world, not mine if you noticed, and pretty much made yourself the school bully, tore great friends apart, you thought you were meant for greatness and stole the element of magic after a time, turned into a demon and had Twilight and her human friends beat you. Note how you thought that you were meant to be great but you were so horribly beaten it wasn't funny?" I ask, making even the old student of Celestia rethink this all. "And also..." I say before breaking my bindings with flex of my arms, the rope falling to the ground. "Whoever you made tie me up sucks." I say while rubbing my wrists.
"Why are you so mean!?!" Diamond yells at me, not wanting to believe a word I was saying because, thinking back, I was right.
"Why am I mean?" I ask with a raised eyebrow. "Why am I mean!" I shout at them all, causing them to jump. "You all should be thinking about how mean you've been! Trixie, you're a show mare, I get it, but when you keep saying that 'everything is true' about things that are close to impossible, then your going to get your ass bitten as hard as all those times Twilight beat you." I shout at Trixie, making her cringe and shake a bit.
"Gilda, you're still in high school, grow up! You roar at a pony just for an accident, and when you have the exact same thing happen to you, you flip a shit and ruin a great friendship." I explain to Gilda, whose eyes dilate at my rage and taking a step back.
"Diamond, I don't care if you're a filly, but there's a point where you need to know when to shut the fuck up! You're a horrible person for making fun of people that don't know what there special talent is, making fun of their disabilities, and then being all buddy buddy with them so they can get to a princess that lived not five minutes from where you live." I explain, clenching my fists a bit and seeing the filly fall to the ground in a shaking wreck.
"Sunset, I sure don't know about what your history is, but seriously, when someone tried to help you not become a bitch, and then do the exact opposite, it's just fucking ridiculous." I explain, rubbing my temples in aggravation.
"Why...why did we have to bring you?" Sunset says, tearing up and looking down at the ground sadly.
"Because...." I say, looking at them all before sighing out sadly myself. "Because I'm the only one that can get things through your thick skulls." I say gently to them all, starting to get to my second part of ranting. "Remember, I still have things that I touched on but wanted to get in now...Gilda, you probably have such a sweet side to you that I would love to see, but you think that you should be strong and tough and shut other people out that want to see that." I start to explain, Gilda giving a look of surprise and a little blush again. "God that's just cute." I chuckle a little.
"Trixie, I understand you're a show mare, you want to impress everyone with fireworks, magic tricks, and make people, even the little colts and fillies happy. But you need to learn to keep the act on stage, and the act off stage different. Your smart, talented, and make a fireworks show the fourth of July would beg for." I say with a smile, causing the mare to get a little bit of her bravado back that's she's great at something.
"Sunset...sorry for bringing back old wounds, but for you...you're a little tougher to crack so this all can get through." I explain to her. "Celestia probably misses you a lot; she was probably crushed to hear you scream and run away from her when she only wanted to help...and when she saw Twilight, she didn't want the same thing to happen...the closest thing she could call a child of her own to run away and crush her heart." I explain gently, making Sunset give a little nod of confirmation that I was right.
"And Diamond..." I say, causing the filly to flinch in fear. "Oh dear Diamond..." I say while kneeling down and gently putting a hand on her head, feeling her become as stiff as a statue, but started to giggle as I started to scratch between her ears. "I know you can be a nice filly, one of the one girls that people would love to be friends with if they wouldn't be so stubborn and mean all the time. I know your dad is always busy with work and probably doesn't have as much time for you as I've had the exact same thing happen to me, but I always made sure to spend time with him whenever I could..." I say gently, having a warm smile on my face.
"What's with the sudden change of face?" Sunset asks, trying to keep calm from my verbal assault.
"This is how I work." I say, continuing to tickle Diamond a little. "I start with pointing out all the things that are just so wrong with people, getting it through there thick skulls that what there doing is either wrong or is just weird, and then come back gently and explaining how I understand it all, still care for them and rather see them learn and be happier in life then hate me, be depressed, and hate me for a long time..." I explain gently, fearful that if I raise my voice again they'll be scared of me again.
"I...I never thought that..." Sunset says a little sadly.
"Maybe people should warn others about how much of an ass I can be, yet how much of a wonderful friend I can be as well." I explain, seeing Diamond turn over on her side from her giggling and tickling her stomach now, causing her to burst out in helpless laughter.
"I want a belly rub~..." Gilda whines, before putting a claw up to her muzzle and blushing profusely.
"Do you really want one?" I ask with a little chuckle.
"N-no!" The griffiness says quickly. "Why would I...I wouldn't...." She tries to find words before sighing out. "Yes please." She says in defeat, but giddy about the belly rub either way.
"Then get over here." I say with a smile, the griffin being a little cautious but walking over and laying down on her back.
"Sheesh....this is so embarrassing..." She grumbles, still blushing a lot.
"Don't worry, it's not embarrassing." I say while starting to rub the soft fur Gilda has. "It's adorable." I say while rubbing her tummy, causing her to get a goofy grin and sigh out happily. "Does a little griffin like this?" I ask with a little grin, starting to rub a little harder.
"Yes I do..." Gilda mumbles, her back leg kicking happily.
"Can we has belly rubs?" Sunset and Trixie ask simultaneously, giving me adorable puppy dog eyes as I stopped tickling Diamond so she could breath.
"You girls aren't going to let me go are you?" I ask, before they all say at the same time "Nope". "I suppose this is an apology enough....it's going to be a long day." I laugh a little, getting ready to start a very big cuddle fest.
(A few hours of cuddling, belly rubbing, and me trying to hit on a griffin later)
"There, you all happy?" I ask, smiling happily at them all laying down smiling.
"Yes we are." Trixie says with a smile. "Tri-er...I'm very happy now...thank you."
"It was fun!" Diamond says happily, laying down next to Trixie with a warm smile.
"Didn't think you were into me..." Gilda chuckles a little. "But you're gonna have to try harder then that to get me." She says, nuzzling me a little.
"I don't think I have to try much harder." I say while doing my own little awkward nuzzle.
"Thank you, Xinrick...should I write down a note for us all?" Sunset asks honestly.
"Your so much like Twilight." I laugh a little, said unicorn already bringing out a pen and paper.
"Alright, I suppose...not really sure how to do it with this, but..." I say before taking a deep breath.
"There comes a time when you meet special people, whether they be ponies or griffins, young or old, mare or stallion, you will see people that are mean that might hate everyone or doesn't want to show there good side. Today, I had to deal with four of these special people, and I had to do something that nobody likes: using their past mistakes, wrong doings, and things they'd rather not remember, and using it against them to understand what I mean.
Even if you don't want to tell the truth, and keep bashing your head against a wall trying to make a person understand, then you're going to take a lot longer to teach them. But as long as you're gentle, soft spoken and make sure they understand what you say at the end of the day, then you won't have people hate you and understand what what you want them to do...and lead them to a better path.
From your faithful teacher and fellow lord,
Xinrick
P.S. I may be dating a griffin...don't judge me.
P.S.S. I give amazing belly rubs, so if you want one than make sure you give word round about me...I'm getting sick of being kidnapped in the middle of a nap damn it.
P.S.S.S. You better tell me a few things about all of this 'Lord' stuff here, Sunbutt as well as why ponies always have rope with them...it's weird."
"And I'm done." Sunset says with a nod, finishing up the letter and rolling it up.
"Thank you...but I should probably be getting home." I say with a sheepish smile, scratching the back of my head.
"Aww...but I want more belly rubs." Gilda groans, wanting more rubs on her tummy.
"Don't worry Gilda, you'll get more belly rubs." I chuckle a little, patting her head. "But right now...until I figure out if I can make you either a human or at least half human...I'm gonna leave you with this." I say while lifting her chin up and kissing her beak happily.
"Mmm..." Gilda says in surprise, before shrugging and kissing me back just as much.
"Eww~." Diamond says, me and Gilda breaking the kiss as we all laugh at her reaction.
"Well, I best be off...Sunset mind giving me a...actually..." I say before snapping my fingers to test something, and a portal appeared out of nowhere. "Well....that happened." I say with a bunch of surprise.
"How did...." Sunset was trying to find the words.
"I've been dragged through a portal three times to a world full of magic...I think this is at least a little understandable." I guess, finding it to at least make some sort of sense but not so much. "Mind making me one to my room? I don't trust this one." I say while snapping my fingers again, the portal closing a bit.
"Yeah, that's a good idea." Sunset says while using her magic to open a portal to my room.
"Thank you. Now, see you all later and remember what I told you...I'm still very sorry for what I did." I apologize one more time.
"You're such a dweeb." Gilda giggles a little.
"I love you too." I chuckle a little.
"I'll try to...patch things up with Twilight...hope she still doesn't hate me..." Trixie mumbles the last part.
"I should also apologize to those bla- I mean....the others." Diamond says, not wanting to say "cutie mark crusaders" just yet.
"And I shall be in Canterlot...meeting up with Celestia." Sunset says with a nod.
"Thank you. So, see you all later." I say with a nod before entering the portal, it closing behind me for as long as somepony, person, dragon or whatever comes to kidnap me.
I made a thing!!! 
Yes I did make another one of these, hope you like it. I wanted to get this off of my chest because...seriously people, who wouldn't rant about this. Sunset is here because she's pretty much the only one that could do it in this rag tag group of girls. I'm sorry for swearing in front of a filly but seriously, she needs to get it through her head. Also, this isn't 'hate porn', my prereader said that and I just want to make that pretty clear.
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4433240 The story that I'm writing was actually inspired partially by those technological inconsistencies. Basically those random pieces tech are just what survived the Apocalypse.
5022095 Yeah like ovens, DJ equipment and stuff like that.
5022111 Exactly! although it was the DJ equipment that started it
5022123 Yeah pretty much...I don't know what more tech they'll somehow wrangle there way to have for some weird reason
5022128>>5022123 Somewhere, somepony will find a laptop that magically has power. The tab open on the browser will be Cookie Clicker, and that pony will die from cookie clicking so hard.
The end. c:
5022191 Pretty much
5022201 The only reason I haven't gone back to Cookie Clicker is that I closed it and I keep getting lost in TV Tropes.
5022208 alright then
5022215 >.>
5022256 <.<
5022259 v.v
5022287 ^.^
5022291 There, I made you happy!
5022812
5022830
Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
5463305 This is the first time I've actually heard someone say 'submit this to a very big MLP site'...now I'm both flattered, happy and scared at the same time.
but it's more than villians it's about how most of the things in MLP make no sense, sure the villians and bullies are a thing but still.
Edit: I looked at the 'Guidlines' and it looks like it would fail in all honesty...which sucks...
i like to see more
6394126
6394175 Thank you, for the fav, the video and the watch my friend.
6404645 thank you
This needs a sequel that turns into a full out story somehow.
6967573 About which part? The part where my character starts getting magic from appearing in Equestria too much and starts dating a griffin? Or me just being all powerful with words and still date a griffin?
6967685 The second one honestly, because the magic shtick is overdone and the second one just overall sounds interesting.
6967748 Ah, that makes sense and also glad my character can still date a griffin
6968870 Girffons are sexy and awesome.
6968900 Yes and yes
6968925 galdeyatour botaniconus