Just a regular ol' Whovian from Texas
"Everything must come to an end. It is better to love and lose than to never have loved at all. When one future ends, another begins. Now, dear sister, it is time for the sunset."
This is my first fic. Hope you all enjoy it.
Cover art credit goes to LuciaRayadra on deviantart.com:
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Also, somebody tell me how to save it when I edit the story! I just joined this site today, and as you can see from the very first words, I'm already having a bit of trouble!
Very sad, but the style of Luna writing to her dead sister is kinda strange. All the same, have a like.
:'( It's so sad an poetic, but it's beautiful at the same time :') Take a thumb, as I have infinite :P
Kind of rushed, and there's no real context. Meh.
4199468
4199527 Thanks!
4199547 I actually wrote this a couple of years ago, and didn't realize how rushed it was until I had already posted it. Thanks for letting me know, though.
This was beautiful and sad like snowdrop. You did amazing on your first fic! In my opinion a story isn't complete without some shed tears
4200191 thanks!! Glad you liked it!
Your welcome!
Tool - Eulogy
That was an awesome story! I really liked it but, almost cried when you were talking about Twilight
4209626 Thanks! What's a story without a few tears?
Name of Story: Sunset
Grammar score out of 10: 5* (see the cons)
Pros
A tear-jerker to the core
Fantastic Premise
Everypony in character... but one.
Cons
... That but one is Luna.
*Luna's royal We... I'll explain it more in the notes.
Why does Luna only want to start ruling when Twilight gets out of her grief? Everypony needs her! Why not just do it by herself instantly?
Notes Section
Okay, let me sort out this asterisk nonsense before anything else: One thing to take note of Luna's royal we is that it makes it sound like she's in a conference. If there is an artistic thing to it making it contrast 'I love you' at the end, then fine. But If that's the case, then give it more of a contrast. I gave you a method to do so already by putting 'I love you' in bold. If you want to try something else, go ahead.
This royal we also is the reason why I believe you didn't quite get Luna quite right. It sounds like Nightmare Night never happened. And that decision to wait for Twilight to rise up from her sadness before she starts to lift a hoof to clean up seems just as against her character.
But where it matters... you made me cry. That's a very hard thing to do. It isn't a fave from me, but I can't wait to see you're next fic.
Please help me out by looking at my story: Woundsalt