Squee! New Chapter.

I hope everyone enjoyed the Season Finale. I know I sure did! Lots of ideas to be put forward with my story, and I'm already integrating some of them with this Chapter.

Once again, this chapter would not have been made possible if not for the ever incredibly awesome Kkat! Thank you so much for creating this world, and not only letting me play in it, but also in allowing me to use Homage and Life Bloom. I certainly hope I did the two a little justice.

Wohhh new update!
And yes i watched the finale with a friend of mine and during that another friend, who never watched the show, came over and watched the whole finale with us after that he said he would watch the other episodes!!

487874

Right on! Hope you enjoy the chapter!

Also question are you going with the fallout PH version of discord? Brohoof for another great chapter. /)

487901

I'm sticking to as close to original FOE canon as possible. I know a lot of sidefic authors will take PH as canon, and as much as I love the story, I won't be going that route completely. It's nothing against Somber, who I think is a fantastic author. It's just that it technically isn't considered canon just as much as my story isn't canon. Discord will most likely follow along with the story as he needs to.

Thanks though, really appreciate it.

Ok finished reading and after i finished i totally was like "Whoa i didn't expect THAT!".
Also one question. Do you accept only the original FO:E as canon in your story or also major sidestorys like Project Horizons regarding Discord?
Because in the original story Discord was never mentioned an if you read it you know what happed with Discord in PH.

edit: Darn it i sould refresh the side before posting other comments!

487929 Im sure. You will pull it off great also if you ever get a chance to look at my fallout fic on my page then you can tell me what you think of it?
well time to get started on the next chapter on my phone with two bars god help me 0_0
edit --
it droped down to one bar

488521

Sure. I will take some time to look at it for you. I'm reading a lot right now though so it may take me some time.

488563 thanks mate phew finaly found my notes time to get started.

Just as a sidenote, I have a deviantart account set up for the story. I collected the chapters thus far into a PDF file and put it out there.

http://foestarlight.deviantart.com/art/Fallout-Equestria-Starlight-PDF-Ereader-298161964

I will also be putting together an epub file for people who have tablet/ereaders (I have one and it's much nicer to read stuff with that format).

I will be keeping this updated as I release new chapters.

Thanks for the continued support!!!!

493178

Heh, thanks, I really know that, and have plans in place to take care of that. I appreciate the feedback though. I'm planning on doing more with them soon.

very nice use of discord in the changeling there. with the new canon involved in all this, it really opens up a whole new set of questions about what happened

Commenting because you kept telling me to read it.

*ahem*
DISCORD!?

lol, @ Greed. Obvious FMA reference is obvious :P

Corrections!
> to the areas of the Inner Sanctum [of] the Twilight Society had last been seen
I think that should be "[where] the Twilight Society had last been seen"
> To that end, I was sitting around a table with Steeljack and Violet
I don't see how "To that end" is in any way fitting here, tbh... that would mean they're leaving only to test out the telepathy spell.
> After hours of rest later
Seems like it should either be "after some hours of rest" or "some hours of rest later".

“That’s why you’re here. I’ve heard all about you. You can teleport right?” he asked. I nodded. “Good. Then you and me, we’re going to go in there and get my prize.”

“What about my friends?” I asked, glowering.

“They stay here. That way you have incentive to come back,” Greed replied, indicating the thugs holding my companions. I winked at Violet and looked down at the museum. A soft *pop* later and me, Steeljack and Violet were standing a couple blocks away, inside a small house I had taken note of a couple minutes earlier. "Hush, hide and let's wait them out." I urged my friends upstairs, where we found a lookout spot to observe the cursing and fighting raiders from a safe distance.

487929 yeah almost done with the inclusion of discord project horizons is in my head cannon but even if it wasn't the stories take on how discord would react to the situation felt spot on if murder death and evil are the norm discord would cease being the bad guy

Truth

Awww, I can't stay mad at you story, not with great stuff like this.

And as to that, it's part of why I went so in depth with things, even the negative. I wouldn't be putting this much effort in if I wasn't enjoying the story overall. (Or if I really REALLY had issues with something, but that would involve a whole nother type of massive rant filled wall o' text.) Just, with stuff like this, I can see how amazing this story could really be, but stuff like the last chapter, are things it could do so much better, be so great. It's only major, overall flaw right now is rushing things to much.

As to the last chapter, I did not realize reading it this was originally a Portal joke made large, and do thing toning that down does work for the best and helps it. And it does explain a lot of things that just didn't really make sense. At least overall, still doesn't make a lot of sense in 'verse. Also, in hindsight, with the 'Portal' frame of mind in place, the "There will be refreshments" I really love that bit now and it's hilarious seeing it as a Portal reference. Well done in that.

As to this bit here, have to be the least awesome for me of them, but still pretty damn good. it's more... not this isn't good or awesome, as how much I disagree with her point here more then others. But still see where she's coming from. Understand why she would think this way. But seems a tad to extreme for me. Yeah she does have a point, but at the same time, it doesn't mean honesty isn't still valuable, you shouldn't strive for it. Abondon the idea as much as she seems to think. But, it still works for her worldview. And the whole "During my time as part of the Goddess, there were no lies. Everything was shared in glorious Unity." Really reminds me of a little bit from Seven of Nine about being part of the Borg. Good job on that.

Now, A chapter title what this is, with that headline, after learning something that seems really really hard to swallow as being true... so this all some scheme of trick or other thing to trick her, or somepony else? Can think of a few options. It's part of a test for Star somehow. the Society is trying to go back to being a 'secret' society, and letting the rumor spread very slowly they are dead and gone to aid this. We know it can't be fully true, since Life Bloom was a member and isn't dead, so can't be 'all' of them. (Homage wasn't so much a full member, as a valuable ally.) So what's the truth? let's find out.

Our jaws dropped in unison.

Why? Seriously, has nopony read The Book of Littlepip? It has to be out by now, homage said it would start being distributed within a few weeks of SS&RB's after being edited and formatted from memories, to text.
I can see some random ponies from the middle of nowhere not having a copy yet, but the Followers? Given it's the book that contains the story of how they were formed, you'd figure it would be rather high on the required reading to join. And, again, I could give Star a pass given how lazy she is, that she likely just ignored it and no one really tried to hard to push her. But Iris?

The Twilight Society as they exist right now only consists of himself and a few others.

Okay, not 'dead' but, scattered, or gone somehow. Life Bloom just being dramatic. This could work. Will depend on how things go from here but liking this better so far, and has some good possibility. A lot of possibilities, like the aforementioned, they are simply trying to go back to being a 'secret' society. Or something else so, wait and see, but far more intrigued now.

But it’s the truth.

And coming from Homage.. if this is some plan, it's not one she knows about. or Life Bloom. Or the Society had something in mind but it went awry. Either way, this is the bucking Element of Honesty telling someone flat out this is the truth, so it better be.

we kind of need your help.

Whatever could it be? Eh, maybe Star is lucky enough to just have to go fetch Homage a donut.

“We’d like to find out what happened to the Twilight Society,”

Gee totally didn't see this coming. Well, she does want their help, so might as well go track them down.

“You mean the megaspell that was used against the Enclave?”

She knows that, but not all the other stuff she has no clue about?

Yeah, and fucking up at every turn. If she only knew just how close I came to damning hundreds of innocent lives down in that Stable. How I let myself give in to the rage and anger that seethed in the back of my mind. Still, if finding out what happened to the Twilight Society could give me some answers, I’d do it.

..... Okay... seriously... I REALLY like this part. Characters is something the story does really well, especially Star. When ti's not rushing things.

The confines of the Tower itself were overpowering my senses. I suspected the tiny Twilight in the back of my mind was relieved to be back in such a familiar setting.

I think I kind of get what you are going for story but.. it is kind of confusing.

“Oh. You have her inside your head?”

That is WAY to calm a reaction to that, and he is taking it far to well. Unless this is a kind of "Sure, sure, you do. You really believe that?" Though not coming off that way.

“That’s… odd. That’s almost exactly when the rest of the Society disappeared,”

Hmmm, not quite sure how to react to his reaction, it still seems rather... low key, just far to accepting. Yet on the other hoof, it does kind of work. After all the shit he's seen, he's likely not beyond thinking anything is possible, and simply treating it calmly, analytically. Gathering data before making a firm conclusion. And that timing.... what did those idiots do?

I was met with the result of being magically thrown across the room into one of the pillars.

YAY! fainlly a lock she can't just brute force, they DO exist.
Now, where's Littlepip when you need her? You know, other then stuck in the SPP pod at the moment.

After about the fifth time being thrown back into a pillar did Life Bloom try to stop

1. Love the image, and her just being that damn stubborn. She is very much the "When all you have is a hammer SMASH EVERYTHING!" School of problem solving. Plus, the image of her getting repeatedly tossed into the wall/pillars is amusing. Now I'm picturing just a series of imprints of her body in various posses in the wall...
2. That sentence is very awkwardly worded.

“If you keep beating your head against it, you’re going to get hurt.”

HEY, it's still early in the story, and not fully fleshed out on character yet, but I'm sure there is at least a chance she is hard headed enough the lock will end up breaking before her head does.

A soft *click* emanated from the chest as I disabled the lock.

And again, the scene is good overall, but so rushed, it's only 'good' while being clearly close to being so much more.
This, isn't even too rushed just... too.. unemotional, flat.

Why would something this important just be laid out where one could just find them?

Yes, left out where anyone could find them.... if they could reach this incredibly secret room, undo the seal on it, and THEN open up this incredibly sealed chest. Star... I like you.. but ye goddesses, I cannot believe you didn't pick INT as your dump stat sometimes. But in a charming way.

To that end, I learned a new spell! He taught me a neat little telepathy spell that would let me talk to him from long distances.

First impulse... No! No story... that's a bad story. No! Bad girl, down! BUT, to be fair, thinking about it more, it MIGHT make sense. Though again, it's in the execution. Things just happening because the story wants them too, just oh so convenient. Without regard for what's been established. But, this could work with what's been established, though would be nice to see something from the story acknowledging the continuity here rather what it feels like. Telepathy was not some spell anypony could learn, hell it wasn't even something ponies thought possible even up to the end of the war. The only case of it we've seen was something unique, the Twins. The ones that were Twi's second in commands of the MAS. Who even when talking about how they seemed so linked, Twi seemed skeptical about them actually being telepathic. Or, not skeptical more, unbelieving, that this was something so huge, she wasn't sure it was even possible. Then we learned it was, because that telepathy was incorporated into The Goddess. Became the special power of the Greens, along with the ability to link with each other to reinforce and empower each others spells. So yeah first glance, it's impossible for this to work.

Yet, it could. Life Bloom's special talent is being able to learn and use any spell he comes across. He doesn't have the raw power of Twilight, but does have the same versatility. And like with so many things, the hardest part is proving it's possible. Once that's done, others can learn it easier. Now that Telepathy is a known thing, something that does exist, it's possible he talked to a few Green's, got them to teach him how it's done. And since Star is an Alicorn, he could teach her this limit version of that magic. So, You get a pass on this story, because it is possible, but still would have been nice to know this was your reasoning, and not just "because it's what I want to have happen."

Bloom said that they could be booby trapped.

We have never seen any 'booby trapped' memory orbs. Their was the one the nearly killed Littlepip, but that was because it was damaged.

“Isn’t that a hellhound town now?”

Ehhhhhhh.... yes, in the afterword Fluttershy was negotiating to have Ponyville officially declared Hellhound territory and off limits. But that was about nine years from now. It's possible they moved in that quick, and just sat there till then but, seems a little quick. But, not impossible.

“Hoofington? Oh fuck that place,” Steeljack interrupted, drawing funny glares from myself and Violet. The grey buck looked and stared us. “What? That place sucks.”

Agreed. At least the version you are likely talking about. Please don't go there, or acknowledge that.... thing.. even exists.

“There’s also the Ministry of Arcane Science Hub in Fillydelphia,”

Which has likely been completely ransacked by Redeye by this point.

And so their entire plan to look for clues, is to go to Twilight tied places? Well, I guess it makes some sort of sense. Given this whole turn into Twilight thing happened at the same time pretty much. Though still a really odd reason not to dive into the orbs right now. Could have used a better one.

I don’t think anypony in their right mind would go near Hoofington. You’d have to be pretty fucking stupid to go near that shithole.

Well, if you use 'Hoofington' as simply a stand in for that... thing... then fully agree, have to be pretty fucking stupid to want to tie your story into that mess. Yes, I really really loathe that damn thing. Hopefully this is the story making clear it's never being brought into things.
But as to the Filly MAS hub.... well again, Redeye would have already found everything there, unless it's REALLY well hidden, so he'd have a lot of stuff. but.. that could actually work. Tenpony had more secrets due to it's size likely, plus the Megaspell chamber. But, Redeye did uncover a ton of research on Bypass spells that could have come from that place. Not to mention, where did he get those power plants that ran on radiation? So, that could work.

A minute later I felt a rush as my mind connected with the scarlet maned unicorn.

Also, can't hate or even dislike this telepathy thing, given 1. it does make sense and is plausible. 2. it's reminding me of something from Days of Wasp and Spider, which is ALWAYS a good thing. Well unless it's Salrath.... unless that it's Salrath being brutally injured, destroyed, and recreated just to be destroyed in an even more painful way over and over for eternity all while watching her entire race collapse and be reduced to pathetic wretches grubbing in the dirt while the 'servitors' she so looked down on rise to become the rulers of the world.

I think you should take them with you; they may be important clues to finding out what happened to the Society,

So ummm, why not view them right now then?

A broken sign outside of the complex stated that the building in question was Hippocampus Energy Plant # 11.

No no no.. Star, do you know nothing about being a Wasteland adventurer? If you want simple rest stop, never go into any building with a name. You need some totally random, nameless, nondescript building that has nothing at all to make it stand out from the rest.

This particular facility had been shut down for years it seemed.

Well, that is true though, I'd say 'centuries' better covers it.

My E.F.S. revealed that we were alone except for the low red marks of radroaches in the walls.

how can she tell? EFS just shows location not type. So... is she simply assuming those red blips are just radraoches and not Zombies or manticores, or something worse?

I meant what I said before you know… I love you,

So, are we talking, best friend forever, trust you completely, platonic love. Or, let's send the stallion out on some long, pointless scouting mission so we can have some fun alone type love? Feels a bit.. odd yet still works for that. Just, after a few chapters of Star crushing on her, and having no clue about her feelings to have it just come out like that, it's not really 'bad' but does feel a touch underwhelming.
But also... really really sweet.
...
or shouldI say OOOoooOOO
YAY! Memory orb! She is actually viewing them. Good. Just, spacing them out, and I guess that makes sense. Not every pony is going to have Littlepip's insatiable curiosity and poor impulse control.

given her all to make their first appearance as the Ministry Mares a smashing success.

You know, I'm struggling to tell if this, her knowing this is their first appearance, and this being Filly, without anything being given for us to know these things, is a result of the story just rushing to the point and missing the leading and building steps. Or simply a factor of tiny bits of Twilight's memories leaking through and giving her this context. Cause that is very plausible and, if so, rather ingenious.
Though, why would they make their big appearance here, instead of in Canterlot?
...
Okay that memory as a whole... Ehhh, loved it, right up until the end. That, kind of sank it a bit. pinkie shouldn't be on drugs this early. And even then, this was the wrong drug. She wasn't using them to get high, and it wasn't Dash (Which would be the only drug in an inhaler) that she took. It was mint-als and PTM's. Not to get high, at least at first, though she did quickly get addicted, but because they did have a beneficial purpose, boosting her pinkie Sense. She took them to keep that as high as possible. Next, talking right to Star. In and of itself, not TO bad, and yes she did have that talk with Littlepip, but that was while high off her ass on Mint-als which super powered her Pinkie Sense, AND in the middle of a Party of One style mental breakdown. Though she was aware of her watching her in other memories too. So it's not a HUGE issue, but does feel a bit off. Especially when it's just to tell Star something she could have seen any other way.. have Twi talk about it, have Pinkie stumble across it somehow, so many other ways this could have happen, with this being the most basic, quickest and literally telliest.

BUT, other then that bit at the end it was good, and a really nice Pinkie Pie, and loved Star's reaction to being inside of her.

How the fuck did these guys sneak up on us?

Well, might have something to do with all of you being passed the fuck out.

“You have my word as an honest stallion,”

Sureeee.... Yeah his ass is dead the instant she gets a clear shot. OHHHH Maybe we can introduce him to Salrath, that would be sooo fun...

“I don’t either,

Well, she's not the brightest, but at least she's not a totally naive idiot. Just wait for the right chance to make them all suffer for this.

A few hours later we arrived at what Greed told us was our destination. It was a small town just north of Fillydelphia

Story, there is rushing through things, and then there is, this bizarre.. whatever it is. They were in Manehatten, it expressly said the power plant was their first camp for the night after leaving Tenpony. How are they only 'a few hours' away from something just outside Filly? For that matter, why didn't they take the sky coach after they left Tenpony?
It's even more bizzare becuase of how little it really matters, and how easy it would be to fix. They left Tenpony, started traveling to Filly via the coach, set down for the night at the power plant, got mugged.

And I just had an epiphany here. This rushing, the way things are condescend so much, space, time... this is first person, it's Star telling her story... it's all an in 'verse issue of her wanting to get to the good parts and simply not being good at recalling the details... that... would actually be pretty brilliant if done right.

It’s supposed to grant immortality to the one who cracks its secrets,

Wow, basing your grand scheme off some old adventure novel? Yeah this guy is an utter criminal mastermind.

We continued silently through a hallway containing modern Equestrian art

Why would that be in a Natural history museum? Unless it was modern art about nature related subjects maybe?

Of course… I was wrong.

Star... admit it, you said something like "it's too quite" or "This is too easy" out loud just before that, and don't want to fess up to it, am I right?

let loose a stream of fire

Where does she keep getting ammo for that thing?

The parts of his body where he had been struck were black and hard. Every bullet that had hit him had fallen to the ground around him, as if the gunfire never even touched him. The black marks slowly receded, revealing his white coat again.

Black carapace? Ohhhh we got us a changeling don't we?

Not only had this buck been hit by it, but it had also turned him into an indestructible killing machine. There was to be no snapping of this buck’s neck, no sirree.

... That makes no sense, why would Killing joke do that? And, how does she know so much about this, but so little about other things she should? Next up, it's his skin that hardens, doesn't mean you can't turn his head around backwards, or toss him about half a mile up and let him splat, or teleport him into a chunk of rock to be stuck for eternity.
Secondly, why did he need her again?

Stargazer’s blue bullets

Does that thing even USE bullets? Or is it some kind of energy weapon?

The force of the shout knocked back several of the raiders across the exhibit hall.

Sorry, but I have to.... FUS ROH DAH!

I looked down at my PipBuck and input Violet’s tag into it.

wait, they DID remember they have this ability? I'm guess it was after the hotel they recalled they could and set it up.
Also, well at least her PipBuck is, why would Greed keep them alive at this point?

“I was a scapegoat. He never meant for me to get out of there alive,”

Likely, also, guess he needed you to rip that door open for him. So what the hell is his deal?

Based on reports, the townsponies of Far Hills acted like raiders to keep outsiders out of their town, but recent events have changed their minds on the matter.

....... okay the others, those I could buy, it was enough time and large enough area, this? how the buck did she work this out that quick? You know, I'm really going to go with my "Star is just rushing this along because she too impatient to not get right to the exciting points" theory.

Fillydelphia also was the center of Red Eye’s slaver army several years ago,

Except.... This supposedly takes place less then a year after SS&RB's. So how was it 'Several years ago'? Or is it several years from when Star is telling the story?

It was truly a city still at war with itself.

Except... Gawd and her Talons took over after the story. Or, at least took over the factories and what not.

Locked. Of course. Why make it easy on me Wasteland?

You get through locks even easier then Littlepip did, what are you complaining about!?

It was as if the Wasteland had given me some sort of break.

Or Redeye had already taken them out when he raided the place.

All I really wanted was somepony to be honest with me at this point. I’m pretty sure the only honest pony I’ve met lately

You mean, other then you know, the freaking Element of Honesty?

She looked back at the wall at what appeared to be a big red button.

You know... it's behind a rather immobile piece of furniture.. and Redeye could have had his goon search it for him and bring him everything, or just give a good once over, not rip things up so... yes, plausible story. Good job.

“Violet, you’re a genius,”

"You're a genius cliche" *DING*

The creature on the table was freakish, with long black legs that had holes

ooookay, so we have an actual changeling... ummmm..... Well, this could get interesting.

Even I wouldn’t do something that silly,

...... Is it Discord?

“You’ll have to kill me to make me talk you bitch,”

There are so many things wrong with the line (in character) I don't know where to start. how can you talk if you're dead? What if she just says "okay." and blasts you?

Not to mention, why is Twilight the one interrogating a prisoner? Granted it's not Zebra so... could work.

I’ll have to call Pinkie Pie and let her Ministry take over now.

Oh, never mind.

That explained how Pinkie knew about the hidden room,

Except, she wouldn't at the time she told you....

“For a little experiment. What Pinkie doesn’t know won’t hurt her right?”

That is way too creepy.....

“To answer a previous question as to who I am… you can call me… Discord.”

Oooookay what? how? Why? Where was he before? What the buck? And this is only chapter four, and already this many plot twists? And how much story to go?

Well other then still feeling like it's rushing along at max speed, better chapter. not much more to say but... story you better have a good explanation for all this.

but what purpose did this serve to the problem at hand?

So Violet and Star hooked up? I feel like I missed something. :/ Also gotta say, Pinkie talking to the protagonist was a lot more exciting in the original; now I just sort of expected it. Fun seeing a changeling, though. (Can't say the same for Discord.)

Awesome chapter!!!!!!

Enjoying the story, but some parts of it keep jumping out and bugging me. Star's companions feel kind of flat and don't contribute much to the story. Hypothetically, if you removed Steeljack entirely I doubt the story would change at all. That said, Star herself and her interactions with Twilight's emotions are interesting, and I think the Mane6 are well written.

Have some other complaints, but let's skip making the comment longer than it needs to be.

Writing's pretty slipshod. Pacing is fucked. Characters feel kinda flat...
Good ideas, not the greatest execution.

8666611
Sorry to hear this. Yes, the early chapters do have some slight issues here or there. I didn't quite have a real editor in the early days. Things do eventually shape up and work out, but I definitely understand if you won't be continuing on.

Alright, I like the story a great deal, but what kinda killed the chapter for me was Greed. I honestly didn't mind meeting the character, because I was expecting it to be a joke about his character like, "I'm Greed!" *Proceeded to get blown apart, going against how powerful you'd expect him to be* I was hoping it would be a quick laugh. But it turned into a pretty important part of the chapter. Semi-Important.

Also, the story's pacing is killing me in this chapter, it feels like I'm on a Bullet Train, which is not very good for a read.

The thing that bugs me the most is Discord suddenly appearing, and it is only chapter four. It's kinda like, "Wham! Look, a major character!" That's what it feels like, and that's what made me the most upset about the chapter. When it was a unnamed figure, it was intriguing, but the reveal is a bit... underwhelming. It just felt kinda rushed, and having read PH, it kinda made my head spin like "Huuhhhhh"

I do really like the story, and I know it does get better, but this chapter could have put a good few people off back when it was first posted. I'm going to continue reading, because I do like Star, but zoinks, the pacing is a killer.

8887466

Hey thanks, I am fairly aware of the fact that there are some pacing issues in the earlier chapters. It wasn't much I could easily go back and fix without making really big sweeping changes, tbh. I also at the time expected the story to be shorter than it ended up being so... There is that. Suffice to say I greatly appreciate the feedback, as it's information I can use in the future (since Starlight is technically essentially set in stone beyond anything purely grammatical).

Honestly too. I have always been open about the fact that Greed is a character I would have introduced differently if I had been smarter about it at the time, but alas.

Discord is... Well, he's not the same as PH (I don't consider PH canon to Starlight) and his story entwines across mostly the rest of the story.

Regardless thank you for continuing to read, I love new readers!

Now that's promising I always love a well written Discord. Hopefully he won't get stuck having rainbow sludge sucked out of em like that other infamous story

11066372
Yeah but that Sumo reference he did! Priceless!

The Ponyville Library would be too small for any members of the Twilight Society to go to and not be seen. I don’t think anypony in their right mind would go near Hoofington. You’d have to be pretty fucking stupid to go near that shithole. That leaves out one other option that you’ve neglected to notice , the voice said. I sighed again and looked at the map.

Honestly yeah... If this Hoofington is anything like Project Horizons Hoofington, that place is it's own special flavor of fresh Hell. So that's a fair assessment.

Edit: So I actually just finished the chapter, and oh boy am I actually happy to see Discord. I always liked him as a character. Also... A Changeling ay? This got much more interesting.