"OooOooOooOooOooOooh!" Applejack coos, hopping up and down in a seat across from me as she struggles to see out the windswept windows of the rattling compartment.
"Appleja-a-ack," I say with a snorting giggle. "Stop moving around so much! It's a bumpy ride; you're liable to hurt yourself!"
"I can't stay still!" she stammers, her mane and hoodie flouncing with each leap. "We're in a train! We're in a train! We're in a traiiiiin!"
I sigh, yank myself up by the subway pole, and walk across the thin space towards her. "Girl, I don't understand. Don't you have trains in Equestria?"
"Yes, but this is a spaaaaaace trainnnnn!" She grunts and struggles, her tiny hooves flailing in front of her. "Con sarn it! Ghttt! If only I was a might bit taller—"
"Here..." I hoist her yelping figure up, then cradle her in one arm while gripping to a bar with the other. "There we go. Better?"
"Wowwwwwwwwww..." Applejack's quivering emerald eyes reflect a complex urban vista of skyscrapers, bridges, and hovercraft platforms. The city stretches broadly before us under a bright purple sky. "Golly... it goes on forever, don't it?"
I shrug. "It's the largest Sprawl in this hemisphere."
"What kind of a cotton-pickin' name is the Sprawl anyways?"
"Erm..." I shrug, glancing at the other train passengers who are staring our way. "Hard to say. I've always found it bluntly eloquent."
"Well, I think it could stand to use a bit more flavor," Applejack says. "How about 'Humanville?'"
I giggle. "You call that imaginative?"
"Well, humans live all over Ganymede, don't they?"
"Yeah..." I nod. "And on Io and Titan and Mars and Venus..."
"How about 'The Jewel of Jupiter?'"
"Sounds awfully fruity."
"Ya say that as if it's a bad thang."
"No, I was... nngh..." I facepalm and sigh. "Applejack, it's a figure of speech." An inward groan. "And, come to think of it, not a very good one—"
"Land's sakes! A foal!" Applejack suddenly gasps.
"Buh?"
"A human foal!" She gallops in mid-air while dangling from my grasp. "Quick! Lemme down for a sec!" I comply, and she scampers across the way towards where a three-year-old thumb-sucker is standing in front of her mother on the train. "Howdy howdy howdy!" Applejack hops up onto a chair and grins down at the toddler. "Wow! Look at you! Well, if you ain't the cutest thang that done walked on two legs!"
"Mmmm..." The tiny tot retreats to her chuckling mother's side, hiding behind the woman's knees. "P... p-pony...?"
"That's right, sugarcube!" Applejack grins, staring at the girl's scarlet bangs. "I lurve yer hair. Just like Apple Bloom's!"
The kid giggles, red-faced.
"Heheheh..." Applejack glances up at the mother. "She even sounds like Apple Bloom too! What's the darlin's name?"
The mother smiles and says, "Anncoulter."
"'Anncoulter,'" Applejack grins wide. "That's darn near the prettiest lil' name I ever did hear." She leans in and ruffles the toddler's hair. "Howdy there, Anncoulter! What's your favorite color? Mine's apples!"
"Okaaaaaaaaaay..." I walk forward and scoop Applejack up by her fuzzy belly in two arms. "Playtime's over, AJ. This is a train, not a playground."
"But... but..." Applejack squirms in my embrace. "I didn't even get to ask her if she's ever been to a farm!"
"I highly doubt it, seeing as all agricultural centers have been relegated to the central Dyson ring, tens of thousands of miles from here." I glance up at the mother and smile awkwardly. "She's... uh... she's new here."
The mother nods with a smile, lovingly patting her gawking child's shoulder.
I sit down with Applejack in my lap. "Let's stay put for the rest of the ride, alright?"
"What's with all the restrainin'?" Applejack frowns. "I'm not some rampaging bull!"
"Applejack, you're a tiny pony. Dogs have it hard enough in moving vehicles without the likes of me having to worry about four-legged things far tinier and cuter."
"I'm tougher than I look, y'know," she pouts.
"No doubt." I smooth her bangs back into her ponytail and crane my neck to look her in the freckled face. "I gotta ask, though. Why'd you pounce the kid all of the sudden?"
"Pffft. I done pounced nopony... er... nobody."
"Seriously, you suddenly went all gushy as soon as you saw her. Don't deny it."
She sighs, resting back against me with a shudder. "I guess yer right. I couldn't help it. She made me think of Apple Bloom."
"Your daughter, right?"
"Lil' sister, ya dag gumm'd idiot."
I wince. "S-sorry..."
"Heh... It's okay. Really..." She pats my wrist with her hoof. "Reckon I get all protective over her as if she was my own foal..."
"Uh huh..."
"I dunno what it is..." Applejack fidgets, gazing through the floor of the rattling train car. "Maybe it's cuz I've always felt so responsible for her well-being. But it's more than that. It has to be." She gazes at the child across the way, exhaling out her nostrils. "Some nights, I sneak into her room just to nuzzle her while she's sleeping."
"Well..." I smile. "That sounds awfully sweet."
"Heh. She'd tear my head off if she ever found out. The lil' thang wants so badly to be grown up like her big sis. Can't really blame her."
"You know, if I didn't know any better..." I straightened her ponytail and slid it down beneath the neck of her hoodie. "...I'd say you were suffering a case of the Mommy Clock."
"I beg yer pardon?" She glances straight up at me.
I stare down at her upside-down freckles. "Really! I mean... horses have biological clocks too, don't they? Even if they're tiny horses?"
"Tch..." She glares off with lethargic eyes. "Maybe. Maybe not."
"Is that such a bad thing?"
"Bad? Nah. Pointless? Perhaps."
"Pointless?"
"I-I've just got so dang much to do on the farm!" she exclaims, gesturing her long-sleeve'd hoof through the air. "For better or for worse, I ain't got no time to settle."
"Maybe you will," I say, giving her shoulders a squeeze. "Y'know, someday."
"Hmmph... I just gotta find the right stallion first," she mutters. She chuckles bitterly out the edge of her muzzle. "And my gal pals will be the first to tell ya that such a thang won't come easily."
"Why's that?"
"Cuz I ain't no wiltin' violet. Most stallions look for a damsel that they can sweep off their hooves, but that's not how I roll. You feel me?"
"Uhhhh... I believe you."
"You don't sound particularly convincin', sugarcube."
I giggle. "Well, n-neither do you!"
"Eugh..." She plops down, resting a chin tiredly on my knee. "It's complicated, not to mention the last thang I wanted to think about while enjoyin' yer spiffy space train."
I wince. "I'm sorry for bringing it up."
"No, it's okay." Applejack sighs. "It's somethin' I'm gonna have to come to grips with sooner than later. Soon enough, Apple Bloom's gonna move on to better thangs—on the farm or off—and she won't be around all the time for her sappy older sis to dote on no more."
"Well, that'll give you plenty of time to find a suitor and make some babies. Presuming that is what you want."
"Hmmph. I reckon. I just wish thangs weren't so darn silly-like."
"What things?"
"Stallion and mare things." Applejack mutters. "I swear, life gave Equestria two genders just to complicate existence. Maybe y'all can relate."
I shrug. "Beats me. We have five."
Applejack gazes wide-eyed at me. "Five genders?"
"Yeah." I nod. "Male. Female. Trans. Extra-Trans. And Brazilian."
"Whew-wee..." Applejack clutches her skull with a pained expression. "I ain't even sure I could wrap my apple-buckin' head around that!"
"It's okay." I snicker. "We tend to wrap other organs around it instead. Heh."
"Awwwww shucks..." Applejack rolls her eyes and slaps my knee. "You are the worst."
"Ow ow ow ow!"
"Oh! Heavens to Betsy!" She lovingly strokes my knee with the flat of her hoof, wincing. "I'm s-sorry! I wasn't even thinkin'!"
"It's okay..." I chuckle, nevertheless wincing. "I never wanted to play Saturnian Polo anyways."
"Will ya ever forgive me, sugarcube?"
"Depends."
"On what?"
I stand up, cradling her as a rhythmic chime emanates across the compartment's speakers. "On whether or not you pounce any more children on the walk home."
She giggles, burying her reddened face into my chest. "You're so sillyyyyy..."
"Yeah, well, at least I'm not the one with the Mommy clock," I say with a smirk, and walk us out of the train as the doors open at the station.
I want to try Brazillian
What?
Brazilian: The newest gender.
Anyway, you missed capitalizing "Mommy Clock" right there at the end.
Other than that, no errors I saw. I was too busing d'awwwing to notice, though.
You lucky Type II civilization duckies.
Trans is known... Is Extra-Trans otherkin?
Applejack and her Mommy Clock…
That was hilarious, and AJ's reaction to the toddler was adorable.
Also, the "Mommy Clock" is the perfect explanation for AJ's behavior regarding Apple Bloom. Her
I wonder if there's a boy there named Billmaher?
What? Since when did a demonym become a gender?
4501701
The most glaring errors are "anyways" and the double spacing between sentences. I can handle the double spacing, but "anyways"? There's no reason to use it. Ever.
amandablackwood.files.wordpress.com/2014/05/thatsracist.gif
Space train! In SPAAAAACE! I suppose it just goes to show that all earth ponies have parties in their hearts. Some just express them more readily.
Also, I quite like how AJ reacted to the concept of her ticking biological clock. It made sense, which is always something I can appreciate.
Looking forward to more.
4501829
Well, ever since all of Brazil uploaded themselves to a nanomachine colony, they've been... experimenting.
Yeah, sure! Just like the Titanic.
digitaltrends.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/dead-space-2-the-sprawl.jpg
Inconsistent caps. Although I dunno, maybe I'd make both words lowercase in the second instance.
4501829 Except in dialogue. 'Cuz, you know, it's what some people say.
Also, putting two spaces after a period is acceptable. It's not grammatically incorrect, and (if I could find the bloody link) is supported by most common English standards bureaus. I don't do it myself, though. I prefer single spaces between because it's faster.
4501969
Whether it's written or spoken, it should never be used. Not only does it look and sound stupid, it makes it harder for others to take its user seriously.
4501982 Not to people who don't care. I mean, literally everyone who uses "literally" to emphasize something rather than its proper meaning knows that they are technically incorrect, but they literally can't care less.
To me, if something's written informally, you don't need to have everything correct. For example, using "anyways" is acceptable in a fanfiction written in spare time.
4501674
I'm moderately frightened at the possibilities.. SS&E does it again.. Whatever 'it' is..
4501969
The English standards bureaus can kiss my glorious redneck backside. I don't recall voting them for homecoming queen, much less Lords and Kings of my language!
4502138
They can, but I doubt they want to.
In all seriousness, it's been stated a brazillion times that both are correct.
Of course, there's always a third way.
As someone who is Trans, I am curious as to whether the other two will be explained. Would Extra-Trans be like Transpecies or something? 'Cause if so I know someone who is that. And is Brazilian joke or serious?
Brazilian.
Whut.
4502004
I've made the mistake of using "literally" wrong several times, I'm sure and I should look into how to use it properly. Like I said, I can handle the double spaces okay, it just irritates me sometimes, but "anyways" really bothers the crap out of me and I'm sure there will be a time when that becomes the norm on the hobbyist, amateur and professional levels and "anyway" will be the wrong thing to use.
If anyone ever asks my sexual orientation/gender identity, I'm gonna say "Brazilian".
Oh what the fuck.
4502258 I dunno why you dislike that. Languages change over time; it happens. I like being party to the evolution of language. It's quite exciting.
4502508
It's a quirk of mine.
At least the child didn't yank on AJ's ponytail
Five genders, though...Truthfully, I shouldn't be too surprised until I saw the word Brazillian; then I laughed
4501674
He owes me a drink. I spit my soda laughing.
4502584 Eh, fair enough.
4502170
4502208
4501829
You know what they say: "What happens in Rio. . ."
Brazilian. Heh heh.
4501952
At least the Titanic didn't have its passengers brutally butchering one another with blood spraying everywhere while their ship sank.
4502723
Stays on Youtube.
What is going on here?
4502170
My thoughts on this:
Trans: gender swapped.
Extra-Trans: additional (extra) gender.
Brazilian: gender removed; possibly with hot wax, for that silky-smooth feel.
4503567 . . . you can edit, you know.
4502258
'Literally' is properly deployed when describing something that is factual. If you say there were literally two dozen muffins when you left last night, there were at least twenty-four.
if you are just trying to utilize hyperbole, you'd say there were 'Figuratively' a million muffins.
4503650 Pretty freakin scary, but according to the source.. yes
4501829
Double space after a period is perfectly valid.
4468983
Naturally, as part of the mummification process, the contents of the computer will be placed in .JARs before burial...
And now this scene gets a entire new meaning:
4501674 FULL Brazilian!
Also is anyone else dying for a picture of Applejack sneaking into Apple Bloom's room at night to nuzzle her?
4507195
If she'd be awake, she'd make this face.
i.imgur.com/u2lgKJH.png
4505115
My ribs...Ow.
Must stop reading comments at work.
4507247 Thank you, good sir-or-ma'am, that was exactly the outcome I was hoping for!
Brazillian... My curiosity, is now at an all time high. Need more space intel on this.
XD Brazillian
Brazilian. racist
I'm going to assume if Trans is "other gender", than Extra-Trans is "both," and Brazilian, due to anthropology classes (they apparently change ethnicities at the drop of a hat depending on lighting and what not) to be "whatever they feel like at the moment"
I want them to be in an relationhip^^ I think at least if he is somehow able to get into their world later it would be a nice thing if they would be together.
They talked so much with each other that i start to like both of them, well thats maybe one reason.
Im going to turn off my internet so I can get some sleep now...
You had to go there, didn't you?
NEWSDAMMIT.
>implying multiple Dyson rings
Okay, sure. Where'd they get the material, though? I mean, yeah, Dyson spheres/rings are REALLY FREAKING COOL in concept.
But logistically? Nightmares. Any idea how much steel would be involved? How would you keep the thing from collapsing on itself? Assuming it IS a ring, (and not, say, a Mobius strip) how do you keep the temperature down? What keeps it sun-centric, instead of shifting a hair's-breadth in one direction, which would inevitably send one end shooting off into the Kuiper belt, while the other collides with the Sun?
And why, oh why, would ANYONE need that much sheer surface area at all?
Stop giving me logistical nightmares when I am supposed to be imagining tiny Applejack in a hoodie.