"OooOooOooOooOooOooh!" Applejack coos, hopping up and down in a seat across from me as she struggles to see out the windswept windows of the rattling compartment.
"Appleja-a-ack," I say with a snorting giggle. "Stop moving around so much! It's a bumpy ride; you're liable to hurt yourself!"
"I can't stay still!" she stammers, her mane and hoodie flouncing with each leap. "We're in a train! We're in a train! We're in a traiiiiin!"
I sigh, yank myself up by the subway pole, and walk across the thin space towards her. "Girl, I don't understand. Don't you have trains in Equestria?"
"Yes, but this is a spaaaaaace trainnnnn!" She grunts and struggles, her tiny hooves flailing in front of her. "Con sarn it! Ghttt! If only I was a might bit taller—"
"Here..." I hoist her yelping figure up, then cradle her in one arm while gripping to a bar with the other. "There we go. Better?"
"Wowwwwwwwwww..." Applejack's quivering emerald eyes reflect a complex urban vista of skyscrapers, bridges, and hovercraft platforms. The city stretches broadly before us under a bright purple sky. "Golly... it goes on forever, don't it?"
I shrug. "It's the largest Sprawl in this hemisphere."
"What kind of a cotton-pickin' name is the Sprawl anyways?"
"Erm..." I shrug, glancing at the other train passengers who are staring our way. "Hard to say. I've always found it bluntly eloquent."
"Well, I think it could stand to use a bit more flavor," Applejack says. "How about 'Humanville?'"
I giggle. "You call that imaginative?"
"Well, humans live all over Ganymede, don't they?"
"Yeah..." I nod. "And on Io and Titan and Mars and Venus..."
"How about 'The Jewel of Jupiter?'"
"Sounds awfully fruity."
"Ya say that as if it's a bad thang."
"No, I was... nngh..." I facepalm and sigh. "Applejack, it's a figure of speech." An inward groan. "And, come to think of it, not a very good one—"
"Land's sakes! A foal!" Applejack suddenly gasps.
"Buh?"
"A human foal!" She gallops in mid-air while dangling from my grasp. "Quick! Lemme down for a sec!" I comply, and she scampers across the way towards where a three-year-old thumb-sucker is standing in front of her mother on the train. "Howdy howdy howdy!" Applejack hops up onto a chair and grins down at the toddler. "Wow! Look at you! Well, if you ain't the cutest thang that done walked on two legs!"
"Mmmm..." The tiny tot retreats to her chuckling mother's side, hiding behind the woman's knees. "P... p-pony...?"
"That's right, sugarcube!" Applejack grins, staring at the girl's scarlet bangs. "I lurve yer hair. Just like Apple Bloom's!"
The kid giggles, red-faced.
"Heheheh..." Applejack glances up at the mother. "She even sounds like Apple Bloom too! What's the darlin's name?"
The mother smiles and says, "Anncoulter."
"'Anncoulter,'" Applejack grins wide. "That's darn near the prettiest lil' name I ever did hear." She leans in and ruffles the toddler's hair. "Howdy there, Anncoulter! What's your favorite color? Mine's apples!"
"Okaaaaaaaaaay..." I walk forward and scoop Applejack up by her fuzzy belly in two arms. "Playtime's over, AJ. This is a train, not a playground."
"But... but..." Applejack squirms in my embrace. "I didn't even get to ask her if she's ever been to a farm!"
"I highly doubt it, seeing as all agricultural centers have been relegated to the central Dyson ring, tens of thousands of miles from here." I glance up at the mother and smile awkwardly. "She's... uh... she's new here."
The mother nods with a smile, lovingly patting her gawking child's shoulder.
I sit down with Applejack in my lap. "Let's stay put for the rest of the ride, alright?"
"What's with all the restrainin'?" Applejack frowns. "I'm not some rampaging bull!"
"Applejack, you're a tiny pony. Dogs have it hard enough in moving vehicles without the likes of me having to worry about four-legged things far tinier and cuter."
"I'm tougher than I look, y'know," she pouts.
"No doubt." I smooth her bangs back into her ponytail and crane my neck to look her in the freckled face. "I gotta ask, though. Why'd you pounce the kid all of the sudden?"
"Pffft. I done pounced nopony... er... nobody."
"Seriously, you suddenly went all gushy as soon as you saw her. Don't deny it."
She sighs, resting back against me with a shudder. "I guess yer right. I couldn't help it. She made me think of Apple Bloom."
"Your daughter, right?"
"Lil' sister, ya dag gumm'd idiot."
I wince. "S-sorry..."
"Heh... It's okay. Really..." She pats my wrist with her hoof. "Reckon I get all protective over her as if she was my own foal..."
"Uh huh..."
"I dunno what it is..." Applejack fidgets, gazing through the floor of the rattling train car. "Maybe it's cuz I've always felt so responsible for her well-being. But it's more than that. It has to be." She gazes at the child across the way, exhaling out her nostrils. "Some nights, I sneak into her room just to nuzzle her while she's sleeping."
"Well..." I smile. "That sounds awfully sweet."
"Heh. She'd tear my head off if she ever found out. The lil' thang wants so badly to be grown up like her big sis. Can't really blame her."
"You know, if I didn't know any better..." I straightened her ponytail and slid it down beneath the neck of her hoodie. "...I'd say you were suffering a case of the Mommy Clock."
"I beg yer pardon?" She glances straight up at me.
I stare down at her upside-down freckles. "Really! I mean... horses have biological clocks too, don't they? Even if they're tiny horses?"
"Tch..." She glares off with lethargic eyes. "Maybe. Maybe not."
"Is that such a bad thing?"
"Bad? Nah. Pointless? Perhaps."
"Pointless?"
"I-I've just got so dang much to do on the farm!" she exclaims, gesturing her long-sleeve'd hoof through the air. "For better or for worse, I ain't got no time to settle."
"Maybe you will," I say, giving her shoulders a squeeze. "Y'know, someday."
"Hmmph... I just gotta find the right stallion first," she mutters. She chuckles bitterly out the edge of her muzzle. "And my gal pals will be the first to tell ya that such a thang won't come easily."
"Why's that?"
"Cuz I ain't no wiltin' violet. Most stallions look for a damsel that they can sweep off their hooves, but that's not how I roll. You feel me?"
"Uhhhh... I believe you."
"You don't sound particularly convincin', sugarcube."
I giggle. "Well, n-neither do you!"
"Eugh..." She plops down, resting a chin tiredly on my knee. "It's complicated, not to mention the last thang I wanted to think about while enjoyin' yer spiffy space train."
I wince. "I'm sorry for bringing it up."
"No, it's okay." Applejack sighs. "It's somethin' I'm gonna have to come to grips with sooner than later. Soon enough, Apple Bloom's gonna move on to better thangs—on the farm or off—and she won't be around all the time for her sappy older sis to dote on no more."
"Well, that'll give you plenty of time to find a suitor and make some babies. Presuming that is what you want."
"Hmmph. I reckon. I just wish thangs weren't so darn silly-like."
"What things?"
"Stallion and mare things." Applejack mutters. "I swear, life gave Equestria two genders just to complicate existence. Maybe y'all can relate."
I shrug. "Beats me. We have five."
Applejack gazes wide-eyed at me. "Five genders?"
"Yeah." I nod. "Male. Female. Trans. Extra-Trans. And Brazilian."
"Whew-wee..." Applejack clutches her skull with a pained expression. "I ain't even sure I could wrap my apple-buckin' head around that!"
"It's okay." I snicker. "We tend to wrap other organs around it instead. Heh."
"Awwwww shucks..." Applejack rolls her eyes and slaps my knee. "You are the worst."
"Ow ow ow ow!"
"Oh! Heavens to Betsy!" She lovingly strokes my knee with the flat of her hoof, wincing. "I'm s-sorry! I wasn't even thinkin'!"
"It's okay..." I chuckle, nevertheless wincing. "I never wanted to play Saturnian Polo anyways."
"Will ya ever forgive me, sugarcube?"
"Depends."
"On what?"
I stand up, cradling her as a rhythmic chime emanates across the compartment's speakers. "On whether or not you pounce any more children on the walk home."
She giggles, burying her reddened face into my chest. "You're so sillyyyyy..."
"Yeah, well, at least I'm not the one with the Mommy clock," I say with a smirk, and walk us out of the train as the doors open at the station.