• Published 26th Mar 2014
  • 2,988 Views, 24 Comments

A Guard And His Princess - Shining Moonlight



Flash Sentry has feelings for the new Princess Twilight Sparkle but the feeling can't be mutual, but is it? Find out what happens to the two starcrossed lovers in A Guard And His Princess!

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Saving a life

"You should probably be heading home now Mr.Sentry! " Flash was shocked by the tone from the Princess but steadily thought, Back to formality then Flash...., "Why yes Princess Sparkle! Should I help you to your room? Security precautions..." Flash grinned when he had said the last part, and to his joy, the Princess grinned back.
"Thank you Mr.Sentry!" As the words reached her mouth, sadly her grin turned to a stern face that startled the stallion. "Well, let's not waste any more time!" Twilight declared and started trotting towards her chambers. Flash, followed..... disappointed.

As they reached her chambers, Flash bowed and Twilight closed the door, but as he started to walk away, he heard a loud roar and a crash inside Twilight's chamber and a mare shrieking. After a few seconds, the mare's screaming was cut of by something that was smashed against a wall. Before he could react, he heard hoof steps from the corridor and a second later, a group of other guards were rushing towards him, with Shining Armour at the lead.

As Flash awoke from his short shock, he rushed to Shining's side and rushed into Princess Twilight's chamber, breaking down the door, to face not only one, but two huge dragons! One of them, Flash realized, was cornering Twilight who was bleeding from her side and badly hurt. From the look of it, the dragon had slammed his fist right at her, knocking her unconscious. Before Flash even had time to say holy hay, Shining Armour leaped at the bigger dragon, the one cornering Twilight, while the other guards rushed wildly at the smaller one. Flash raced across the room to where Shining Armour was fighting for his life.

"Sentry! You must get to Princess Twilight and get her out of here!" Shining Armour screamed over the yowls of pain coming from the dragons.
"Aye Captain!" Flash quickly dashed over to the princess and gently lifted her up on his back, and made his way out of the room. As he put her down, Twilight opened her eyes...
"Flash... What's happening?" Twilight looked over to where her brother was fighting the dragon with all his might. Before Flash could answer, the dragon snapped a claw at the Prince, sending him into a wall, a gash forming on his left flank. "Shiny!!" Twilight screamed in terror as Flash sprinted towards the dragon, bucking him in the stomach, sending him flying to the other end of the room.

Flash then dashed over to his Captain who was now standing up, his eyes wide and shocked.

"That's quite the force you got there soldier!"
"Thank you sir!" Flash quickly saluted before he and Shining Armour dashed back into action and smashed, kicked, punched until both of the dragons rose into the sky and started to slowly retreat. At least until they saw four ponies flying towards them at the speed of lightning, that got them to flee for their lives.

As the four ponies landed in front of Shining Armour, one special pony, a rainbow maned mare dashed to Twilight's side. As Flash accidentally, but eagerly listened to their conversation, he realized that the rainbow maned mare was not only the Wonderbolt's captain, but also a bearer of The Elements of Harmony, Rainbow Dash! As their conversation was coming to an end, Rainbow came up to Flash and smiled.

"Hey! Names Rainbow Dash!" She reached out a fist, so he bumped it.
"Hi, I'm Flash Sentry!"
"Cool name!" Rainbow stared past Flash with a curious look then turned back to Flash. "Gotta go! But hey, you want to meet my team?"
"Sure!" Flash was dancing inside. To meet the Wonderbolts! AWESOME! He followed after Rainbow Dash who led the way.
"Flash this is, as you probably know, Soarin', Spitfire and Misty Fly!" As the three heroes waved at Flash, he saluted and Soarin' came forward.
- At ease Mr.Sentry! ¤ Although his captain was Shining Armour, the Wonderbolts were respected by all of Equestia. Before they could talk any longer, another Wonderbolt landed from the sky, Fleetfoot.
"Captain Rainbow Dash!" She saluted, Rainbow answered the gesture, saluting too.
"What is it Fleetfoot?" A challenging grin sprading 'cross her face.
"Race you back to base!" All five pegasi shot into the sky, disappearing just as the night turned to day.

Author's Note:

Leave a comment below! :D

Comments ( 21 )

Gotta love the FlashLight-based dislikes.

Except for the tragedy part, it looks a lot like A Guard and a Princess by TorontoFCBrony... I'll make sure to give it a read! :twilightsmile:

Good job with this story. I recommend adding maybe what the characters are feeling into the story. I think that may help you with your writing.

Oh look, a promising Flashlight fic being hated on by anti-flashlighters. :ajbemused:

Have an upvote on me. Flashlight needs to be encouraged.

Your chapters are awefully short. Don't be in a hurry, make sure you have enough story to tell. Try to make each chapter establish an important part of the plot.

You also have a very strange way of formatting your text, with double-spaced paragraphs except during dialogue. Every new dialogue line is it's own paragraph so I suggest you space them as well. Either that or use indents instead, though double spacing seems to be more popular online and makes the text seem longer and more open.

Your story is very good so far,keep it up!:twilightsmile::pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::rainbowlaugh::raritystarry::trollestia::moustache::moustache::moustache:

the way I see it, use those down-votes to improve. Try to see where you went wrong, and work from there. If anything, go to a proofreading group, and have someone look over it. They can give pointers and really help a story. :eeyup:

First, just fixing some mistakes:

"You should probably be heading home now Mr.Sentry! " Flash was shocked by the tone from the Princess but steadily thought, Back to formality then Flash...., "Why yes Princess Sparkle! Should I help you to your room? Security precautions..." Flash grinned when he had said the last part, and to his joy, the Princess grinned back.
"Thank you Mr.Sentry!" As the words reached her mouth, sadly her grin turned to a stern face that startled the stallion. "Well, let's not waste any more time!" Twilight declared and started trotting towards her chambers. Flash, followed..... disappointed.

New speaker, new paragraph! :twilightsheepish:
Actually, looking at it from a grammatical point of view, it should be more like:

"You should probably be heading home now, Mr. Sentry!" Flash was shocked by the tone from the Princess, but steadily thought. Back to formality then, Flash...

"Why yes, Princess Sparkle! Should I help you to your room? Security precautions..." Flash grinned when he had said the last part, and to his joy, the Princess grinned back.

"Thank you Mr. Sentry!" As the words reached her mouth, sadly her grin turned to a stern face that startled the stallion. "Well, let's not waste any more time!" Twilight declared and started trotting towards her chambers. Flash followed...disappointed.

"Hey! Names Rainbow Dash!" She reached out a fist, so he bumped it.

Name's=Name is.


Some tips:
At times it's hard to follow what's going on. Try to read your story outloud to yourself. You'll notice it. That really helps.
Also, try to add some description into your writing. Show the emotions that the characters are feeling.
Don't rush your chapters too much. Try to slow down the pacing a bit, so your readers have time to get into the story.


I wish you luck!

4139062 Thank you for the tip! I'll make sure to include it in my next chapter! :pinkiehappy:
4139743 Thank you! :heart:
4140082 Will do! :twilightsmile:

I am interested in the story-line, and am definitely intrigued to read more. I would like to point out one mistake.

- At ease Mr.Sentry! ¤ Although his captain was Shining Armour, the Wonderbolts were respected by all of Equestia. Before they could talk any longer, another Wonderbolt landed from the sky, Fleetfoot.

You misspelled "Equestria." Just something I saw. Keep writing though! This story has good potential.

When are you posting the next chapter ??? :moustache:

Whoa whoa whoa, back it up a bit. I can understand Flash being transferred to Canterlot, but how the hay did rainbow become the wonderbolt captain so easily, amd how did Spitifre let her?:rainbowhuh: Anyways, great story, do wamt to read more.:derpytongue2:

4441494 I understand your confusion but in this story Spitfire was never captain and Rainbow Dash joined the Wonderbolts and became captain and is the fastest of them all. :pinkiehappy:

4728266 I see... Why was it cancelled? If it was because dislikes, that's going to happen. Some Bronies/pegasisters really like and hate this ship, so you shouldn't stop because of that, I didn't.

4729136 Oh no it's just I got lost in my story and just could not seem to get back on track! Feel free to read my new story Hour of Twilight! It has some Flashlight in it but mostly Twibra!

- At ease Mr.Sentry! ¤ Although

???:rainbowhuh:

5038230 :derpyderp1: Wow...... Did not think something like that would happen.... Sorry, maybe reading my new story will.... cheer you up? :applejackunsure:

5055171 But why it cancelled ?❓❓❓❓❓❓❓

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