This was.....good. Short, but good. This was Spilight indefinitely, the grammar and writing style were fine as well. Overall there wasn't much to the story, but what was there was exceptionable. The only change that could be made to this story to make it better, structure wise, is separating the dialogue between the two characters in order to show who is talking when.

Also, keep writing, the more you write the easier Spilight (or any story) becomes.

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I love it!

Hm...honestly I don't remember the last time I wasn't sure how to comment about a spilight story. On one hoof you managed to do it nicely, the feeling of awkwardness present in two unexperienced characters, the characters personalities are well shown etc. On the other hoof however, sometimes I got the feeling that characters are that are inexperienced to jump quickly into full professional love making act and back to awkwardness.

A lot of shifting emotions, this story while good, resembles two different kinds of puzzles which clash together because some parts are underdeveloped while others are developed too well. I gave it a well deserved like, since it was a simple, enjoyable spilight but I get the feeling there could be way more to this story which shows your untapped potential as a writer

Keep up the good work, with practice there will come improvements

I'm not going to say it the best spilight fic I read, but I did enjoy it.

Akword but cute

Meh, not the worst thing I've read. It could use a bit of work, but overall, I'd give it maybe a 5.5/10

4036726

Can I ask the source on your avatar?

So cute and romantic, this. Most excellent.

Amazing job please keep the great job