Cutie Marks in Bounty Hunting

by Bluebirdd065

Target Acquired

The air was crisp, the sun was shining, marking the perfect day for a certain three little fillies to play outside.

But today, there was no time to be playing around.

"So, this is the one?"

"Yep. Diamond Dazzle Tiara. She's the one."

"How are we going to go about this?"

Apple Bloom sighed, moving the piece of wheat in her mouth to show she was thinking. She finally said in a fake coarse accent, "We go loud."

Sweetie Belle nodded. "Good choice." She said in a similar voice.

"We need a plan." Scootaloo grunted manly.

"I got a plan: we go in, we go out. No mess, no hassle." Apple Bloom said, stomping a hoof on the floor.

"-Heya, girls! I brought ya'll lemonade!" Applejack grinned, holding out a tray of drinks through the clubhouse window.

"Applejack! This is top secret stuff! You can't just be BARGING in!" Apple Bloom squeaked.

"Come on! Even hardcore, manly bounty hunters like yourselves could use a drink every now and then!" Applejack smiled, leaning closer.

"...Alright, fine! But don't mess with our business again!" Apple Bloom huffed.

"Alright, alright, I'll go. Now have fun girls!" Applejack leapt away.

Apple Bloom set the juice on the clubhouse table where they sat and cleared her throat.

"Alright. So, back to business."
*sip*

She pulled out a crude looking map of Ponyville and laid it out across the table, pointing to the town's only bakery.

"So, our target should be currently residing in these barracks, most likely expecting us, so we'll have to blend in before extraction can occur." Apple Bloom said with a seriously manly look.

Sweetie Belle pulled out three spec-ops looking suits with tons of equipment and gadgety stuff sticking out and put them on the table. Apple Bloom toyed with them, all while keeping a manly blank look of manliness. Did I mention they were manly looking?

"These'll do perfect. We'll blend in like nothing." Scootaloo said, eliciting manly nods of agreement from her team.

"Let's suit up colts." Sweetie smirked.

+++++

"Alright, everyone ready? Gear in check?" Apple Bloom asked in a rough voice.

"I'm clear." Sweetie Belle waved.

"Clear as well. Let's get this show on the road." Scootaloo grumbled.

Apple Bloom nodded, taking one last look at the crude poster hanging on the clubhouse's wall.

WANTED
FOR BULLYING AND HARASSING FELLOW SCHOOL FILLIES
•WILL USE WEALTH TO OWN ADVANTAGE •VERY INFLUENTIAL •WILL LIKELY HAVE GANG BACKUP •APPROACH WITH CAUTION

DIAMOND DAZZLE TIARA

REWARD
66,666 BITS UPON LIVE CAPTURE

Apple Bloom growled and tore the poster off the wall.

"H-hey! I worked hard on that!" Sweetie chimed.

"Sor- *AHEM* ...Sorry." Apple Bloom smiled innocently.

"Enough about the poster; we've got work to do, colts." Scootaloo said, getting confident grunts back.

"Agreed. Let's move team." Apple Bloom opened the clubhouse door.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS BOUNTY HUNTERS, YEAH!!"

+++++

The three met behind Sugarcube Corner and hid in the shadows to sit.

"I spot the target within ten meters of our position!" Scootaloo said, holding her binoculars backwards as she hid in a small bush with her team following.

"Excellent. I can also spot an accomplice sitting beside the target." Sweetie Belle confirmed.

"I can spot leaves!"

The girls slowly turned to their left to see Pinkie Pie, staring inside the bush. She turned her focus and smiled.

"Hai girls!"

"P-Pinkie?! What are ya doing here?! This is top secret stuff!" Apple Bloom asked loudly.

"I dunno, I just saw you guys hiding in this bush and thought it was some sort of sneaky-bush-party I wasn't invited to and decided to join in!" Pinkie grinned.

"Well this isn't a party, Pinkie! We're trying to capture Diamond Tia-" Scootaloo was cut off.

"Excuse me?"

The fillies faced forward, seeing Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon looking down at them with frowns.

"What are YOU three doing here?" Silver Spoon glared.

"We're having a bush party!" Pinkie exclaimed.

"A BUSH party? That's the lamest thing I've ever heard!" Diamond Tiara spat.

"..OUR COVER'S BEEN COMPROMISED! EVERYPONY FOR THEMSELVES!!!" Apple Bloom yelled, running out of the bush. The other two fillies followed quickly.

"Wait! We haven't even had treats yet!!" Pinkie called, holding up a tray of bush-shaped cupcakes.

+++++

The clubhouse door swung open, revealing a disappointed and still manly looking Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.

"Well, that whole thing went sour really quickly." Sweetie grumbled.

Seconds later, Scootaloo came tumbling through the door as well, an accomplished look plastered on her face.

"What's got YOU so happy?" Apple
Bloom asked suspiciously.

Scootaloo grinned before standing up and flashing an item to the two.

"Is that Diamond Tiara's, tiara?!" Sweetie jumped.

"Yup! Number one-forty-five is now claimed under the Cutie Mark Crusaders!" Scootaloo beamed.

"Whelp, even though it's not actually her, I'll call that- I mean. *ahem* I'll call that a successful mission. Well done, Scootaloo. You've done a good deed to your team, and your city. Now that's one less piece of filth off the streets." Apple Bloom smirked.

"SCOOTALOOOOO!!! GIVE ME BACK ONE FORTY FIVE!!!!" Diamond screeched in the distance.

Apple Bloom checked her flank, as well as her friends, just to find, once again, no Cutie Mark.

"Uh, girls, now I think we should probably try getting our Cutie Marks in escaping-"

*SLAM*

"WHERE'S MY TIARA?!?" Diamond fumed, glaring at the three.

Apple Bloom swiped the tiara from Scootaloo and put it on her head.

"EVERYPONY FOR THEMSELVES!!!" She cried, jumping out the window.

Apple Bloom jumped down to the ground, soon being followed by her friends.

"What Cutie Mark should we try getting after this?" Scootaloo panted.

"Cutie Mark Crusaders Identity Changers!" Sweetie blurted.

"Alright! Agreed! But first,-"

"I'M GOING TO MAKE YOU THREE PAY!!"

"-let's try not to die!!" Apple Bloom started running.

"AGREED!!" Sweetie and Scootaloo gasped in unison, hauling after their friend.

"APPLE BLOOM! WAIT UUUP!!"

Comments

[Terrorizer231]

This is comedy gold!

[VampDash]

*RIP Twilight Mercer: Death by laughter from reading one of the funniest stories on the face of the Earth and Equestria*

[RainbowCoolDash Pariah]

That was to funny. Great story.

[SuperPinkBrony12]

That is all.

[Matt11]

this is so funny

[DarthWill3]

That's just too cute, man! I love it!

[Dusk-Spark]

Ha, short but cute.

[Telaros]

My sides hurt. I feel a bit hurt that this wasn't added to our little group. I'd love this to be a mini-sode in the show. Great job in making me smile. Had a good laugh too. Now THIS is what a CMC story needs more of, CMC being their adorable mischievous selves. xD

Story too short to mention any real scenes without ruining the moments, so I'll just say the only thing missing was the mustaches.

[StealSteelStill]

Lolwut

[Procrastinating Sidewalk]

I could imagine, after a mission failed: The CMC go back to the clubhouse and go through a long list of Minuteman-III launch procedures. Then, nukes fly.

Also...

REWARD
66,666 BITS UPON LIVE CAPTURE

[MagerBlutooth]

This is that special flavor of story that would be in bad taste to judge from a highly critical standpoint, much like it would be in bad taste to judge a lollipop as one would the meal of a world-renowned chef. Its prevalent use of bold text and the one direct quote to the audience from the unseen narrator fly a broad, opulent banner over the story as a warning to not take it too seriously. Yet, despite its lack of depth, it does manage to maintain the structure of a story as opposed to an encounter session.

The CMC try to capture Diamond, it doesn't go as planned, and they end up only partly completing their mission. While I can't say it's made entirely clear why they wanted to capture just Diamond and not Silver Spoon, how they managed to get tons of equipment and "gadgety stuff" in a world that seems to be lacking in it, what they were planning to do with Diamond after capturing her, why they thought stealing Diamond's tiara accomplished anything if all it did was make her mad, or why they had an obsession with using masculine words to refer to each other, I can say that the role of Pinkie Pie hit all the right notes, both in efficiently breaking apart their plan and providing her a meaningful purpose in-line with her character. In fact, I believe I can say that characterization was this story's strongest factor.

The story mostly revolves around the one joke of the CMC pretending to be bounty hunters, but considering its length, there's nothing really wrong with that. Considering it's the topic of the story, I'd say it's pretty justified. The spelling and grammar seem fine, though there are some formatting issues. Personally, I'd say the key one is an overreliance on SHOUTING YOUR WORDS!!! Much like an excellent song on the radio, if you play it too much, it starts to lose its value.

I'd call this story a gumdrop. It's that one kind of lesser known candy that I enjoy in small doses, though I do find it hard to imagine its name being said in a professional setting.

Make the most!

[Telaros]

This story is 100% Diamond Cutters Approved!
oi58.tinypic.com/bgvbkg.jpg

[psvitafanboy222]

9/10 since there was no quicksc0ping.

Really, though, 10/10.

[Nightflight406]

Not as good as Cad Bane, Embo, Jango Fett or Boba Fett. But not bad for a first try.