I am just starting back in the fanfiction scene after having a few stories under the penname Ryan Hambrick and I hope that you all enjoy my new works.
Coco Pommel goes to get coffee for her boss Suri, a beverage she's never really enjoyed, but during her trip to the coffee shop, she just might find a new taste for the bitter drink. Join Coco on her adventure behind the scenes of Rarity's adventures in Manehattan and learn what it means to enjoy life.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Dammed Good! Mostly just grammatical errors
3782279 Thanks, I'm going back over it now, but my friend told me I should post it so as not to have someone else have the same idea and get theirs out first. I didn't agree with it, but it's short enough that I should have it completely proofed within the day.
Goddamnit. This is adorable.
Maybe a sequel with this ship sometime in the near future? I'm a sucker for romantic encounters like this, and hate to see it end without proper developement...
3782789 I was thinking people may think that, and if it's what the people want I've had an idea for a continuation of this. We'll see though, if more people want to see more of these two I'd love to write about them.
Good story... Only question I'd have is why did you character tag Rarity. She wasn't in it, but whatever not a biggie. The more I see coco's name the more familiar it sounds for some reason.
Oh "Coco" Chanel, there we go. Huh, kind of clever of the writers...
Incorrect tagging, telling rather than showing and lastly is that you have a tendancy to assume the reader knows expressions and reactions and design characters to act as such. Sentence structure is something you really have to work on. The first time a reader has to re-read a statement to understand it, they've allready lost some respect and general intrest.