- Member Since 2nd Jan, 2014
- offline last seen Last Wednesday
Adda le Blue
Occasional author, overbearing aunt, and live-action horsewife.
Adda le Blue
Joined 2nd Jan, 2014 ·
Offline
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A very brave and ambitious piece.
3897957 Thanks.
I think it's too ambitious, though. For the sake of casual readers I plan to add a revised version that's less of an art piece and more of a narrative.
Umm... I like it, but umm... I don't know. I dont get the same feeling I get when i read other se-mature stories like, "A Night With A Bat Pony". I don't know. But I liked it! I just said I didn't get the same feeling. Its just...you know, what I mean right? I'm not saying it was bad, just... I don't get the same feeling then when I read "A Night With"- Yeah, you know what. Right? Don't think the wrong thing, please don't. I loved it! Liked.
I liked it a lot. Especially the way the first part does a great job of getting the confusion across, and the desperate need to do something, anything... I re-read that part after everything was cleared up in the end, and it made more sense than before, but it fits perfectly. Also, the self-loathing the morning after.
Oh wow, somepony's read this recently? Someponies, even. That's... nice. And unsettling. I should have expected that after the blog post. Maybe I should focus more of my attention on the rewrite.
4361978
Wait, you thought...? I don't know what to say to that. Should have expected it, I suppose. It may have the 'mature' and 'sex' tags, but 'Folksong' is not a clopfic! There was a sex scene, yeah, but it was the single most unsexy sex scene in the entirety of Fimfiction. How could I get excited about... I don't know, like, racing hearts and juices and stuff when the entire point of the story was to explore the emotional turmoil of my grandfather's impending death?
But thanks for reading, Melody. Since you still liked it for its intended purposes even though you were expecting more, I'll call it a success.
4362575
Thanks, Possie! Can I call you Possie? I'm glad you appreciated what I was trying to do, even if I may have handled it poorly. I don't know... I think it's really poignant this way and trying to turn it into an actual narrative might ruin it. I guess I'll never know until I try, eh?
4378480
Possie is fine
I didn't want to imply that your execution was lacking, quite the contrary - the fact that I was actually confused was good in this case. Because confusion should be, erm. Confusing. Erm. Am I even making sense?
I admit, my first reaction when I read your mentioning of a more accessible, more narrative rewrite was, umm, not very enthusiastic
I couldn't really see where the story would require it, or how it would benefit from a rewrite (I may be biased because I like this minimalistic style). Then again, I'll never know until you try 
4379802
It wasn't your reaction that made me think so. It was those of both twilight-the-pony and Mayhem Darkshadow of Twilight's Library, who couldn't even figure out Merryweather's gender, let alone what the hay was going on.
Wow... Just, wow...
I loved this.
4728219
Ouch... That hurt a lot more than I thought it would. You know what? It's about time I get around to posting the song that stirred this story into some semblance of life. These are covers of two Alex Harvey songs, Roman Wall Blues and The Harp. Please excuse the irrational audience.
[youtube=v7E_wXD8i0w]
5181458 The Antlers do that. I think if emotion were personified, it'd be The Antlers.
So always take it as a compliment if I liken anything you do to them.
I rather adore this. There are maybe one or two details you could make clearer, at least by the end (I was actually confused as to whether Folksong was her dad, her ex-lover, her current lover, or what; it was very hard to figure out who she was talking to, or even who was talking), but I don't think this needs a full-on rewrite, to answer the question posed in the description. I find it remarkable, honestly.
Here via 5303652's review. I can't say I understand the first half, but it certainly leaves an impact regardless. The second half is almost a disappointment after that in its straightforward exposition. Ultimately upvote-worthy.
Agreed with PP that a careful massaging of the story rather than redoing it from scratch might be the better option here. Little things like making clear her job duties before Luna shows up (so it seems clearer why the princess has such a reason to care), and straightening out the backstory a bit (if she came through the mirror to the pony world and grew up human, how come she has a pony mom and dad?), would go a long way.
- H