I am unsure what to put here.... TO BE CONTINUED!
In Equestria, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is one of the highest rating sitcoms on TV. In our world, it is a animated children's cartoon that Lyra, the director and producer, delivers to Lauren Faust to deliver to The Hub. However, one time Lyra decided to look into the Brony fandom a bit more before returning, and was... shocked. She goes back to Equestria with much to tell her fellow actors and actresses.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Your a bloody fucktard, you know that? Theirs quite literally no harm in clopping. Thank you and good night.
This is going to degenerate into a firestorm soooo quickly.
Now, as to the story, it needs some grammatical fixes; for example, there were some capitalization problems (midway through, when Lyra addressed Bon-bon as Sweetie, which made me think Sweetie Belle).
Also, when you are addressing a character in dialogue, use commas before the name, like so:
"Thanks, Sweetie." instead of "Thanks Sweetie."
Watch your spelling; in the first line, you have 'adressing' instead of 'addressing'.
Finally, even though I agree with the sentiment at the end, it seemed a little preachy. Just enough to get on my nerves.
Overall, pretty good, aside from the aforementioned issues.
But, it's in the only in the planning stages....
Looks like someone needs 500g of insane, from Pinkamena.
Good day.
Im gunna sit back and watch this unfold...
Begun, the Flame Wars have.
I read clop, I don't see a problem with it.
I'm not going to explain, I read ANYTHING!
-
All jokes aside, if it wasn't for the cheap anti-clop message from the virgin Mary. This story could have been really good.
Because the characters we all know and love are really actors, that opens up a massive opportunity to give the Mane 6 and all of the other characters off-screen personalities and different relationships with family/friends and enemies. For example, Applejack and Big Mac off-screen and in their "reality" are Husband and Wife, while Applebloom is their child. While on-screen and in the Equestria we know, it's the brother and sisters relationships we see while watching the episodes. (It would be rather awkward, yet funny, if Celestia was Luna's mother and Discord was the father.)
I think it would have also been clever if the characters were named by their respective voice actors. For example, Twilight is just a fictional name and her real name is Tara Strong.
If the story were going to be continued, which it possibly isn't because of the Virgin Mary Parade that made this story it would have been a very interesting concept.
334706
I think I will as well maybe chuck a few bits in the make sure the flame doesn't die.
Or I'll just watch.
334710
Much the same with me.
Good day.
There is really no harm in these, I personally don't read them, and if you don't want CHECK THE FUCKING TAGS
They're there for a reason. As a matter of fact there's plenty of ways to avoid it. Like I said there is no harm in them, no matter what, there will always be an audience for this kind of stuff. It's sort of like watching a drunk man shout random slurs at passerby's, harmless and in the right light: pretty silly. That's my two cents and if you disagree:
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334718
You didn't need to swear, that just makes you seem childish.
And no I'm not supporting his message.
Good day.
images.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw3522-1331416742422.jpg
334731
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Good day.
They are watching us right now.
Press ctr+w to escape their sight.
A possible flame war?
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/dis-gon-b-gud.gif
334745
mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2604-Luna_saw_what_you_did_there.jpg
Good day.
Make me!
...but seriously, interesting concept. I'd like it more if it wasn't an anti-clop diatribe.
I;m still not letting up on the clop.
Good concept and all, you should try to expand on it if anything. I for one believe ponies should be protected from rule 34, but what bronies do behind closed doors, with a bottle of lube, maybe some Barry Manilow playing in the background, an empty wine bottle, four wax candles, a box of Kleenex, the Magna Carta, a guillotine, that strand of Marilyn Monroe's hair they bought on eBay, and some naughty pictures of Rainbow Dash is their own business.
334777
Is that a challenge?
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Good day.
334789
Oh, it's on.
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334797
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I must inform you, my good sir that the act you wish to persue is lusting over a fictional horse.
Good day.
I loved this!
)
The opinions of ponies on the reaction to the show in the real world.
Also, what a great lesson it gives at the end.
(To all you who fap to ponies, remember what you're doing. You're FAPPING to PONIES.)
(Just think about it.
334799
ponychan.net/chan/arch/src/129951501515.jpg
Good day.
Hey everypony! LOLOLOLOLOLOL Your comments make me laugh. I'm happy that all of you truly enjoyed my story!
334648 Thanks for those corrections.
I just wrote this for fun. I love it when people take this so seriously. I don't see what's wrong with writing a story about what you believe in... This show has taught me to be tolerant, but it looks as thought that message passed some of you over. I'm just worried that when the ponies find out that we have been writing clop fics about them, they might go on strike!
Hate if you want; this was just a belief of mine.
Yay! I just got another dislike!!!
334726 One thing you'll learn about me pretty fast is that I'm extremely childish
334904 Naw, I laughed at your comment! It was hilarious, cuz it's prolly true. And no, I just wanted to anger peoplez
Just to throw my two cents in the bucket.
The story isn't too bad as far as comedy goes. Though there are a few parts of the story I think you could fix to make it funnier:
1. The start where it explains what everyone is doing. It reads like a List. "So and so was doing this, and so and so was doing that." Perhaps splitting that up a little, and it wouldn't bore the reader with a grocery list of pointless information. Perhaps use it to create a few visual jokes with the characters.
2. A lot of it is predictable. Most of us are familiar with the internet memes that are commonly associated with those characters, so perhaps you could spice it up by evolving them to the next level, or even suggesting things we've never noticed before.
3. Some of the dialogue comes off as awkward. Lyra continually uttering the line "humans are silly" seems rather childish. She could use other words to describe them, and I think it would help keep the joke fresh.
Now as for your message at the end. Believe my friend I'm not a big avid supporter of clop fictions, or even troll fictions at that. But really if you truly don't like them, there's only one thing to do: ignore them. Let them pass by without a thought. When you preach against them, you're unfortunately giving them attention. People all have their thing, and sometimes we may not agree with it, and it may be a bit on the disturbing side, but we have to respect their right to it so long as they aren't hurting everyone.
Honestly I don't see how you can say you believe in tolerance but speak against a group that really isn't hurting anyone. I know where you're coming from though, until recently I spoke against them as well, but it is obvious now that if you want stories that you don't feel are quality or "ideal" to be given attention, the only way to stop them is to not speak against them, and instead promote attention for stories that you DO feel deserve it.
You shouldn't be celebrating people's rejection of your story if you actually feel your message means something. If you're trolling, fine whatever you're entitled to it, but it's pretty pointless really. You'll get a couple people angry at you then what? What exactly have you accomplished? Nothing.
334945 I don't believe my message means anything. I wrote this story at 2 in the morning and could care less about how this story rates. Not taht I don't care about what people think of my writing, just that I don't like this fic. It was just lazily thought out and written. I didn't put much effort into this. I merely put that ending as a way to annoy readers. I'm taking the fic down after I clean my room anyway, so don't worry bout it. Plus, that was sarcasm in my comment about tolerance. I make racist jokes about the leprechaun that molested me a lot, so I'm not tolerant.
335011 Well then I'm sorry to hear that. All I can say is that I hope one day you'll realize how pointless a life of anger and hatred is.
335032 ...You think I live a life of anger and hatred?
335045 Well if you feel it necessary to do something to intentionally anger people who have not outwardly attacked you, that's kind of a big sign that you gain enjoyment out of others suffering and discontent.
Like I said, I'm not going to tell you to change, nor am I going to try and figure out why you choose the path you have. That's all on you, and the best part about you being your own person is that I'm not obligated to ask, know or even help you. I just feel bad for you is all.
I'm not going to argue, I just feel bad for you is all.
pinkie.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/131891785863.jpg
Trolling, you're doing it right.
334804
I do think you mean fictional horses. Plural.
334771
Heed my advice.
Also, the funny thing is that you yourself have suggestive fic posted called "Twilight Needs an Erection."
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/13587/Twilight-Needs-an-Erection%21
335301 LOL I KNOW! I'M NOT AGAINST CLOP FICTIONS!
335322
Sadly, It appears Im the only one who gets the joke.
335396 Yeah. That's why i took the story down. How are you able to see it anyway?
335403
Magic. *Snort snort.*
Bon-Bon checked the clock. It was almost three. "Okay, everypony, may I have your attention!" Unable to tame the cast, Bon-Bon pulled out her megaphone. She pressed the trigger, making a small screeching sound, and repeated into the amplifier, "Everypony, may I have your attention." This time, the cast members quieted down. "will the real slim pony please stand up. i repeat, will the real slim pny please stand up." the entire cast proceeds to stand up."were gonna have a problem here.
yes, i really did think this. no i did not write this comment with a poker face.
"Oh, now I get what chou mean," Zecora said. "But don't them Humans know that Zebras are just a myth, like the Internet or..." "a pony who can live for a thousand years?" Liliana Vess, GabeN, Mark Zucherburg, Chuck Norris, all face palm.
they say all that stuff, saying that they think we know...suddenly The Doctor (tenth) kicks in door, followed by rose, says what a nice place they have, hugs his pony form, informs them of our ignorance then disappears. lyra: can't tell if stayed for to long, or not long enough.
334754 i made some popcorn. here.
Meh cute fic, kinda goofy and cute idea but sort of annoying because the ending felt a bit sharp. That said 2am fic? good stuff.
433287 Thanks. If you liked this, then you'll like some of my other, better fics. Read Ponytics.
433324
*Grins* I did actually. I really loved it and am definitely gonna see your other stuffs.
So are we to believe that none of their pony fans write dirty fanfics? I don't see how they have such a similar government to us with such different psychology.
1016524 yeah this is a bad fan fic. I didn't know how to end it, so I just wrote something I knew would piss a lot of people off.
1017309 Well, in that case I have no further objections.
Oh trust me
ITS ENDLESS HELL