The Curse of a Kind Heart

by Eyvind

True Kindness

The sun was starting its decent below the horizon as Applejack and Rainbow Dash entered the Ponyville library. It looked as though the rest of their friends had returned before them, though Dash noticed the absence of the pony that she was most anxious to meet. Had Fluttershy just not come back from her search for her yet? Dash's thoughts were interrupted by Pinkie Pie as she immediately leapt atop Dash as soon as she saw her and embraced her in a bone-crushing hug.

"Dashie!" she cried. "Everypony was sooooo worried about you! Are you alright?!"

Applejack chuckled. "She will be as soon as ya let go of her." Dash emphasized the point with a pained grunt as her face began to turn a darker shade of blue.

Pinkie Pie took the hint and set her friend down, allowing the others to greet her.

"Rainbow darling, are you feeling better now?" Rarity asked with a concerned frown.

"Yeah, I'm alright. I just needed a little sense knocked into me, that's all." She glanced at AJ with a knowing smirk that she returned. "I'm sorry I brushed you off earlier, Rare. I, uh, wasn't really myself."

"Oh not to worry, dear. I knew you didn't mean anything by it."

"I'm glad you're feeling better, Rainbow" Twilight cut in. "But Fluttershy still needs our help and she hasn't come back yet."

So she was still out there. Great. As if Dash needed another reason to hate herself. If only she had come to her senses sooner, Fluttershy never would have gone out looking for her and they could be solving her problems right now instead of worrying about her whereabouts.

"But we agreed tah meet back here in a hour." Applejack's voice brought Dash out of her thoughts. "We were already late gettin' back. Where could she have gone?"

"I don't know" Twilight said. "But I'm worried about her. She was really upset earlier today. I'm afraid she might have done something drastic."

Rainbow Dash felt a weight drop in the pit of her stomach. Twilight's statement brought back the memory of looking through the window and seeing her and Fluttershy holding one another as Fluttershy cried into her shoulder. It was a strange and foreign feeling she felt as she looked at the purple alicorn. She realized what it was: jealousy.

But why? What reason could she possibly have to be jealous of her? Sure, an hour ago she had thought Twilight had replaced her as Fluttershy's best friend, but she had gotten over that silly sentiment, hadn't she? Shouldn't she have felt happy that Fluttershy had so many friends to rely on? Why was it that she felt some sense of possessiveness towards the mare?

"Uh, Rainbow Dash? Are you alright?"

Rainbow shook herself out of her inner monologue to see all four ponies in the room looking at her strangely. She realized she had been glaring at Twilight for some amount of time.

"Uh, alright? Yeah, I'm alright. Of course I'm alright. Why wouldn't I be alright? Never been better, hehe... he..."

"Well, ok then..." Twilight looked less than convinced, but she didn't press the issue any farther, much to Dash's relief. "Well girls, looks like we're going out there to look for one of our friends again. You all know the drill. Meet back here in one hour. I'll stay here this time in case Fluttershy comes back on her own."

"Right" they said in unison.

"Good luck, everypony" Twilight said as they walked out the door.

~~~

The first place that Rainbow Dash chose to search was the Everfree Forest. She hadn't had any particular plan on where to start looking for Fluttershy when she left the library, but she found herself flying in the forest's general direction, as if she were being drawn by some magnetic force. Perhaps she just subconsciously thought that Fluttershy might be there because it was where she had hid from the monster for the first time nearly a week ago. In any case, she figured her best course of action was to stick with her gut instincts.

She had not been flying over the forest's canopy for long when a voice suddenly rang out through the cool air of twilight.

"Rainbow Dash!"

Dash stopped her search, happiness rising in her chest. That had been Fluttershy's voice. She knew it. She hovered there above the Everfree Forest, scanning the foliage for any sign of her best friend's butter cream coat, a task that was made increasingly difficult by the fading light of the setting sun.

"Fluttershy! Where are you?!"

"Rainbow Dash!" Fluttershy's voice called out again. This time Dash was able to tell the general direction that the voice was coming from. She flew down beneath the tops of the trees. The darkness down here was much more prevalent than above as each and every rock and tree seemed to eat up any light that made it down this far. Rainbow squinted in the half light, trying to make out any shape that might have been her best friend's silhouette.

"Fluttershy?!" she called out once more, and she heard her name called once again.

"Rainbow Dash!" The voice was closer this time, and much clearer. Rainbow knew for certain that it was Fluttershy's voice, but... there was something off about it. Fluttershy wasn't calling out for help or trying to get her attention. Instead, it was almost luring her, like somepony calling out to their lost puppy. Needless to say it was unlike Fluttershy to ever use such a tone with her, or anypony for that matter, and that fact sent a shiver down her spine.

"Fl-Flutters'? Is that you?" Rainbow asked the darkness in a shaky voice. She had followed her instincts into the forest, but now every fiber of her being was screaming at her to take flight, to leave that place and never return. And she wanted to. She really, really wanted to.

But she wouldn't.

Rainbow Dash wouldn't allow herself to run away, not when there was the slightest possibility that Fluttershy was nearby and needed her help. Rainbow placed a lot of faith in her instincts; probably more so than anypony rightly should. But where Fluttershy was concerned, Dash was willing to put her gut and her head on the sidelines in favor of exploring that one-in-a-billion chance that her instincts were wrong.

And so she hovered in the darkness, challenging it to play its hand and reveal what secrets it hid.

"Rainbow Dash!" The voice was behind her, the words no longer bright and shiny as the need for the lure was over. Now they were sharp and harsh as the metallic clang of a hunting trap closing around its prey.

Rainbow Dash spun around lightning fast, though she wasn't fast enough as a huge weight crashed into her barrel, tossing her to the ground with savage strength. She landed hard on top of her right wing, causing it to break with a dull crack. She opened her mouth and screamed silently as all the air had been driven from her lungs by her impact with the forest floor. The weight that had hit Rainbow Dash now rested on top of her, pinning her to the ground. She opened her eyes and blinked through the darkness and the tears to try and get a look at what she was facing.

"Hey, Rainbow" Fluttershy said with a cruel, grey smile as she looked down at her.

~~~

Fluttershy was in a dark place. She lay curled in a ball with her eyes closed, trying to imagine she was somewhere else. Anywhere else but where she was.

"What's wrong, Fluttershy? Don't you like me? Don't you want to stay with me?" The voice was as chilling as the first time she had heard it in the Everfree Forest, dripping with malice and cruel intent.

Your not going to give me a choice, are you? she said in defeat. You're never going to leave me alone. No matter how much I ask, or plead, or beg. You're going to make me your prisoner until the day we die.

"Maybe, but It would be more fun for me if you fought back a little." The voice laughed cruelly at its own joke.

Why should I bother anymore? she asked as tears started to fall down her cheeks. You've already won. You have my body. What more could you want?

"I want you to suffer, Fluttershy, just like I want the world to suffer. Now watch as I murder the one you love!"

What?!

Fluttershy's eyes snapped open. There, pinned to the ground by her own hooves, was Rainbow Dash. Her right wing was sticking out at an odd angle and she was looking up at her with an expression of intense sadness and confusion that cut deep into Fluttershy's heart worse than any blade ever could.

NO! STOP IT! I WON'T LET YOU! Fluttershy cried as she suddenly threw all her willpower into regaining control of her body.

~~~

Rainbow Dash didn't know what to make of it. Her best friend in all the world had tackled her and thrown her to the ground, breaking her wing. Now Fluttershy was pinning her to the ground, but tears were cascading down her face and she wore an expression of extreme concentration. Rainbow could feel her hold on her shifting between lessening and increasing in pressure.

"...Fluttershy...?"

Fluttershy's hoof suddenly went from pressing down on her chest to pressing on her neck.

"Ah, that's more like it" Fluttershy said, the cruelty coming back into her face. She no longer shed any tears and the pressure on Rainbow's body was now constant. "That little foal put up more of a fight than I thought she would. I guess she really does love you."

"I don't understand" Dash said. "Who are y--" Her words were turned into guttural noises as Fluttershy's hoof began to press down on her throat with vicious force.

"Which means," she continued as if Rainbow hadn't interrupted her, "that killing you will cause her that much more pain!"

Rainbow Dash suddenly realized that her life was in danger. She had refrained from bucking Fluttershy off of her earlier for fear of injuring her, but better she injure Fluttershy than let her commit murder. Especially since she was the victim.

Rainbow Dash began to thrash under Fluttershy's hooves, but try as she might, she couldn't dislodge the mare. Her wing and the mud made it difficult to find any sort of purchase, and she was stronger than Dash would've anticipated.

Now she truly began to panic as she started to become lightheaded and her thrashing grew weaker and weaker. No!she thought. I refuse to believe that this is how I die, under my best friend's hooves! She had to do something now, or else it would all be over. Her only hope was to somehow get Fluttershy to come to her senses. But how?

"Oh my. What's the matter? Are you hurt?"

Huh?

"G-g-go a-away"

This is...

"I think Rainbow Dash is a very pretty name. At least your name isn't something plain or boring like Fluttershy."

The first day of Flight Camp. I remember. Fluttershy saved me back then by becoming my first real friend.

"Hey, um... Do you think you could, maybe, not tell anypony that I was crying? It's bad for my rep., you know... And, uh... maybe, we could... talk again later? You know... about feelings, and... stuff?"

"That's what friends are for."

Rainbow Dash stopped thrashing. With the last of her strength, she opened her eyes and looked deep into Fluttershy's teal pools, past all the anger and the hatred on the outside. She was looking at the real Fluttershy when she spoke.

"...'Shy..." It was barely a whisper on her lips, but it was enough. "Remember... the day... we... met..."

Hesitation. For a moment, Fluttershy's hoof stopped pressing on Rainbow Dash's neck. She registered surprise as she looked down at her own hoof.

"Wha...?"

Now I know.

Fluttershy suddenly leaped away from Rainbow Dash as if she were scolding hot.

"No! Stay down!" she cried out.

The answer to whether I'm truly kind...

"I said stay DOWN!" she shouted forcefully, holding her head in her hooves.

I had the answer all along. I knew it from the moment I saw Rainbow Dash all those years ago.

Kindness in its truest form... is love.

"No!"

I love you Rainbow Dash!

"Stop!"

I love you!

"STOP IT!"

I LOVE YOU!

"I LOVE YOU! RAINBOW DASH!"

Author's Note:

Tune in next time for the exciting conclusion! :D

Comments

[UfUnNyF1r3nd]

Well.....I like it a lot :3

[Eyvind]

4354859 Thank you! Happy readers make me want to write more

[UfUnNyF1r3nd]

4354896 yay!
ih3.redbubble.net/image.10702427.8429/sticker,375x360.png

[lillytheomegawolf]

Im not entirely sure what to make of this chapter really, but I'm immensely concerned for Fluttershy. The current final chapter has left me wanting more (than one more chapter to come hopefully) and the earlier ones really got me into the story.

[Eyvind]

4355928 Thank you for the feedback, I really appreciate it. May I ask what you didn't like about the last chapter? Or any of the other chapters for that matter? I'd like to learn what mistakes I should avoid in my next story.

[One Big Macintosh]

interesting

[Eyvind]

4362023 Looking back I realize AJ and RD probably should have switched roles in that argument

[RaylanKrios]

I have some mixed feelings about this story, but the scene where fluttershy battles her demons was very well done.

[Eyvind]

4387767 Thank you for your honesty and your complement. May I ask what in particular you didn't like so I know what to avoid in future stories?

[RaylanKrios]

4387956 On a second read through I found myself enjoying the story more then the first time around, so that's good. Here are some good things: Like I said I love the scenes with Fluttershy and her demon self, well done and her demon is consistently malicious in the same way instead of just being generically evil. I loved the flight school flashback which I thought was totally sweet and believable.

My complaints are more nuanced. Your pacing can be off in places, (which is something I struggle with as a writer so I shouldn't judge but), for example Fluttershy goes to visit Twilight and Twilight pretty much immediately diagnoses this as a psychological issue.

This is sort of related to my second critique which is that you and your characters have a tendency to tell us exactly what is happening. For example the line:

She was now avoiding her friend's gaze out of embarrassment instead of shyness, or "Oh not to worry, dear. I knew you didn't mean anything by it."

There is no subtext in either of these statements, you (and Rarity) have both explicitly explained their thought process, which isn't generally how people talk. Now on one hand writing subtext is HARD, probably one of the hardest things to do as a writer mainly because it involves trusting your readers to draw the conclusion you want them to, but regardless it can be annoying.

I like to think of the scene in Jurassic Park where the water glass trembles. Instead of showing us how huge the t-rex is, Spielberg shows us that it is so massive that it can create a small earthquake, without showing us the t-rex, he then lets us fill in the gap about how big the dinosaur is. (Not a perfect analogy, I know)

Also occasionally it's fine to just point things out to the reader, but I've found you do it a little too often, such that it feels like I am having my hand held throughout the story, which I don't like.

Again overall I enjoyed this story, you have some good ideas and some great moments and I'm eager to see where it goes.

[Eyvind]

4389122 Thank you again for the critique. I never noticed the hand-holding in my writing before. Perhaps I should read through the story once more myself to see if I notice it now that I know what to look for. And I loved your Jurassic Park analogy! It made it very easy to understand the point you were trying to make.

And I loved the flashback as well It was definitely the most fun to write out of all the chapters.

[Not Real]

Will this ever be concluded?