• Member Since 15th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 14th, 2014

Pinkievstheworld


T

This is an AU human universe story, that will be dark, contain character death and violence, as well as guns and magic.
when Equestia is taken over by Discord, Twilight Sparkle is alone with no one to turn to. a metal case she has never opened, given to her by the Princess right before her death that may be the last hope humanity has for freedom. however when she searches out a group of freedom fighters she learns that there is more then power that can change the world.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 2 )

I will say, for the most part, it's interesting even though I felt sick after reading this.:pinkiesick:
Nice use of descriptions for the flow. Really sets the bloody mood. I recommend having some bloodlust when writing a bloody scene.:pinkiecrazy:
Please keep up the good work!:pinkiesmile:

Now for grammar Nazi and character Nazi to come in.

There were some capitalization that needs fixing, some words that needs to be replaced to add more " omph", and some over used words here and there, but not to worry much.
The characters feel a bit sloppy. Not too much to say "Twilight feels like Applejack", but a little close to it. The plot is interesting, to say the least. Human, war, fight to survive, semi-appocoliptic (that's how I interpreted it); fair combo.
Overall, I really hope you keep doing the best you can on this story. Rain hell.:pinkiehappy:

Sorry for being a grammar nazi but you put tiber wolves in one place instead of timber wolves. interesting, for the least.

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