• Published 20th Oct 2013
  • 2,950 Views, 136 Comments

Lonely Mountains - TadStone



Tears freezing on her cheeks in the cold mountain air, Rainbow Dash closed her eyes. In her final seconds, she could think of nothing but her daughter... Scootaloo... (Sequel to Guardians of Many Hues)

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Epilogue: Scarred

Epilogue: Scarred

“So, how is life with Twilight so far?” Dr Staple let himself fall into one of his brand new anthracite coloured armchairs, waiting for his conversational partner to do the same before pushing his trademark tray of cookies towards her.

“Same as the last three weeks after I returned. She’s great. Wouldn’t know what to do without her.” Rainbow couldn’t help but smile, thinking about the mare she had grown so fond of and who had so generously opened her house to them so that they didn’t have to be alone. “Remember last time I told you I had problems waking up at night despite Zecora’s potions?”

“You did, and you mentioned that this hadn’t occurred as frequently while you were sharing a bed with Scootaloo, but that you understandably didn’t want her to see you when you woke up from a flashback.” He had taken out his notebook just in case, but hadn't even opened up to the first page.

“Right. We found a solution. I am sharing a bed with Twilight. It... hmm… just happened one night, and it’s working great. Don’t get me wrong, the nightly flashbacks are still there… And are as horrible as ever… But having her there... It’s just wonderful… She knows how to calm me down.” Eying an exceptionally large chocolate chip cookie on the tray in front of her, Rainbow reached out for it, slowly munching on it while waiting for a reply.

“I guess congratulations are in order. You know that Scootaloo has been waiting for two weeks for you two to make it official?”

Rainbow took another bite of her cookie, savouring the flavour while recalling the events of the last few weeks.

“I wasn’t even sure myself two weeks ago. She’s smart isn’t she?”

“Very much so. And Rainbow...” He made sure to create eye contact so his message would gain the weight it needed. “this is the reason why you can’t keep your problems from her. She’s heard you scream at night. She’s noticed that you don’t leave the house unless absolutely necessary. You need to talk to her.”

Rainbow closed her eyes for a moment, sighing heavily and, for once, forgetting to chew. “Do I really have to?”

“What does Twilight do when you wake up at night?” He took a cookie himself and bit into it, a sly grin forming on his lips.

“She usually draws me into an embrace and talks to me...” Looking up for affirmation, Rainbow couldn’t help but notice his expression. “You so like to be right, don’t you?” The pegasus averted her eyes to the ground, one hoof stroking a strand of her rainbow coloured mane. “You know I didn’t really mean it. It’s hard, you know.”

The smile faded out of the doctor’s face, regret animating the now active muscle parties. That wasn’t what he had wanted to imply at all. He had screwed up this one for sure, and now it was high time to correct this mistake.

Heaving himself out of the far too comfortable cushioning, he made his way over to Rainbow, gently lifting up her head with a hoof under her chin until their gazes met. Like many ponies he knew, Rainbow’s eyes were always full of emotion, often betraying the cool shell the pegasus had built around her if you just knew what to look for. Right now, the shell was almost gone, but her eyes still remained the best window to her inner thoughts, spelling a deep sadness residing in the mare.

Intensifying their eye contact, he began to speak slowly, making sure that every word hit home.

“You are a great mother. Scootaloo loves you, and so does Twilight. Nopony would ever question that. Nopony. I knew you would have talked to Scootaloo anyway. I just wanted you to see yourself just how important talking was. She needs you to vent her own fears, much as you need Twilight to vent yours.”

He let go of Rainbow, but remained close to her, placing his rump on the jet-black coffee table behind him but making sure to avoid the glass pane that made up the centre of it.

“Do you want a break? Anything to drink?” He gestured over to a big consortium of different bottles that lined up on an oaken cabinet standing next to the white panelled wall ornaments.

“You just want to show off your new mini-bar,” Rainbow interjected, giving her best smile to the stallion, although it wasn’t much.

“Hey, it’s not my fault you wrecked my practice,” he teased back, dearly hoping that Rainbow would get the joke.

“And Princess Celestia sure didn’t hold back. You got the most expensive stuff in here,” she replied.

“You are wrong there.” He made his way over to the cabinet, pouring two glasses of Apple Family light cider. “I actually had to negotiate Princess Celestia down. She had offered to build up a full new building for my needs. We could have had our sessions in a whirlpool.”

Balancing the precious fluids on his head, he returned to his place, hoofing over the drink to the waiting mare. The sad smile on her face told him he had done the right thing.

“Have a sip. I know you love this stuff.”

“This stuff, you call it, comes right after Scoots and Twi.” She took a long sip, closing her eyes, as she visibly savoured the flavour on her tongue, swishing the liquid from left to right in her mouth.

“I don’t want to advise you to become an alcoholic, but if enjoying the flavour helps, you should have a glass when you feel like it. I am sure Applejack will make you some.” He lifted his own glass up into the air, watching the surface glistening in the evening sun before partaking as well. “I sure understand why you like it.”

Taking her time, Rainbow brought the glass to her mouth again, appreciatively tilting the glass just enough for a few drops to bathe her tongue. “Now that is some medicine I like for once. Much better than this horrible ointment for my wounds.” Rainbow’s fur bristled just at the sheer mentioning of the salve, making her look ridiculously fluffy.

“Speaking of it, I can barely even see the scars anymore. Except the one on your cheek, that is. Can’t the doctors do anything about that one?”

A low knock emanated from the table as glass met with the wooden surface. Rainbow’s expression had gotten serious again.

“I chose to keep this scar. You can’t see posttraumatic stress disorder, but you can see this.” Her hoof traced along the ragged edge of the tissue.

“I just hope you won’t come to regret this decision.” He took another long draught out of his glass, all the while scanning Rainbow’s expression for signs of uncertainty. Her eyes were unwavering. As was her voice.

“I have talked this through with Twi. The ponies need a reminder that there’s still a lot of hardship in the lands around Equestria. The scar will even show in my Wonderbolt outfit. It’ll be on all promotional items.”

Again, Rainbow was absentmindedly feeling the tissue with her hoof, leaning forward far over the small coffee table, using the reflections of the glass before her as a makeshift mirror.

“You never cease to amaze me, Rainbow,” Dr Staple retorted. “You and Scootaloo. No matter what happens, you two just press on. Do you know when you will return to the Wonderbolt Academy?”

A smirk on her face, Rainbow righted herself up again, facing the stallion. “Oh, I am not going back there.”

Dr Staple frowned. “How so? I thought this was the only way into the team?”

“I was promoted to Marshal of the Air Force right before I went north, cause I had to be able to launch an instant interception mission and the like. She currently doesn’t report to me, but I’m Spitfire’s boss. Kinda kills the whole cadet thing.” Struggling a little with the cushions, Rainbow stood up from her armchair and made her way to the window, watching the ponies outside going unperturbed through their everyday life as she continued to speak. “With all the media coverage, they can’t afford not to have me in the team. They will wait until I am officially back on duty and then just ask.”

“Do you sometimes envy other ponies?” He had remained seated, closely observing every movement of his patient.

“Sometimes… Yes...” Rainbow paused to look at a light-red stallion outside playing with a young green filly that shared his mane colour. “But it is kind of cool to influence other ponies. Did you know that adoption rates are at an all time high since I took in Scoots?”

“I did know that, yes.” There wasn’t much left in his glass, so he just downed it. “It’s just one of the many things you did for this nation.”

No longer finding any solace from the outside, Rainbow turned to the doctor, yet not facing him, eyes averted to the ground. “And yet I’m the one suffering.”

The room remained silent after that, both ponies at a loss of words for the moment. Dr Staple couldn’t tell what Rainbow was currently thinking. He tried to read the mare, but he had never seen this particular expression on her. It was mixture of discomfort and determination, her eyes were closed, but her mouth was rapidly switching expressions.

She was reliving something, and, if he was going to help her, he had to know exactly what was going on in her. “Please let me be part of your thoughts.”

Inhaling deeply and exhaling in a long stream, she opened her eyes, this time locking her gaze to the doctor’s.

“I was thinking about Jǫðurr. He sent a message to the princesses. He got the clans to meet up and convinced them to set up a council of elders that could pass laws and resolutions. He’s asked for scholars who could advise them. And he’s asked for me to come as well...”

Whereas her posture had been low and slumped until now, she was now standing straight. Her toned body radiating an inner strength that only few ponies could convey.

“I am not gonna do it.” She trotted back to her seat, almost throwing herself back into the armchair. “I’m spent. It’s time for others to take on things for a while. I need a break. And so does Scoots.”

Dr Staple’s mouth stood wide agape, but he caught himself fast enough.

“I’ve never been prouder of the progress of one of my patients than right now.” He didn’t have to fake the huge smile on his lips. “How about I treat you to some more cider, and we can talk about some great ways you can enjoy yourself with your new family during this break?”

Rainbow nodded subtly. “It’s a deal.”

Author's Note:

So the second part is over... A little short, I know, but the story I wanted to tell is done and there is no reason to expand it. Instead, I want to focus on my other stories. Eventually, there will be a third part of this series, set a few years after this one. So just keep watching.

Also, I'm working on another scootadopt. So if the fandom still exists after season 4, I will be here to entertain you again with a little less taxing topic. (It still will be serious.)

Let me thank you all for reading the Guardian of Many Hues and Lonely Mountains. Back when I created the concepts for both stories I only did so because I felt the need to write them. I hadn't created any fiction before, nor did I think I would be good at it. I'm not even a native English speaker. I just wrote because I found it helped me cope with all the bad stuff happening in my life. It was only when I had the Guardian done and started writing on Lonely Mountains that I thought maybe other people would enjoy the stories as well. So I started all over, revising the Guardian until I thought it was good enough for proofreading. Not to mention that actually getting it proofread was a rather lengthy process, with more than 3 proofreaders bailing on me. Kevinltk's fast and great work on Lonely Mountains was a pleasant surprise for me.

That so many of you out there liked it took me by surprise. A good surprise for sure. Thank you all out there for your support. Your likes mean a lot to me, as do my stories and my favourite ponies.

Comments ( 40 )

Aaaw, an epilogue. I guess my predictions that the war would come to Equestria and Scootaloo would have to stand in as the element of loyalty to destroy the artifact after it being stolen and activated by Blenda couldn't be further from the truth.:pinkiesad2:Though this was an amazing end to such a harrowing journey, I really am sad that it's over for some time to come. Congratulations on repeatedly catching and breaking my heart multiple times over.

U need moar editor? I is editor. (Doan worry my English is good in real life!)

3421370

For now I am very pleased with Kevinltk's great work and he agreed to work again with me. But I will remember your offer. Thank you very much!

3421334

Sounds like an interesting idea^^
I wanted this story to end on a somewhat thoughtful note, so I decided against a more action packed ending.

I still don't think dash is suited for military leadership, that being when you are a military leader you have to make some really hard choices, because sometimes you have to choose the lesser fo evils some times you must let others die so many can live, if dash was put in a situation were it was the lives of Scootaloo and twilight vs the lives of a hundred others what would she do.
Another thing being an air Marshal takes more than battle experience it requires a deep understanding of tactics strategies and a lot of other stuff, people work there entire lives going into battle studying strategies proving them selves time and time again before they become any sort of higher command, and RD just gets it handed to her after 1 mission why these feels really forced,and don't go she's saved equestria 4 times the first two she fired a beam of magic the 3rd she may have displayed her skills in battle but she did not display any sort of tactical skills and the fourth time, she helped set up a fair yay that's pretty much it, one of my favorite things about the guardian was the realism, well realism by MLP standards, most of that coming from how real the adoption system felt, here I am sorry but so few things are portrayed realistically that it really drags it down.
Again the writing and dialog is great but the way you are presenting it just doesn't work.

3421444

I am sorry but so few things are portrayed realistically that it really drags it down.

Could you elaborate on that? The science is right. I took great care of how tribes are portrayed. I think I got the reactions of everpony right for most parts and the way they cared for Scootaloo seems to be realistic as well. Everything from the psychological reactions to the names is well researched (the names are all of norse origin and have quite fitting meanings).

You didn't like Scootaloo's cutie mark and the fact that Rainbow was named Marshal. I get that. Still, Rainbow has done a lot more than just one mission. She might not have saved Equestria military style, but the Elements of Harmony are an integral part of the Equestrian defense system. And the titel was offered to her so she could order around the border patrol in case of emergency. It's like what I did in the Guardian that all Elements of Harmony had special rights to review all police records and can not be detained.

Marshal of the Air Force is a titel that is usually only awarded as an honorary titel or in war time. Currently there are more people in the world holding it honorary than for actually serving. Actually, I think it even would make sense to give all of the mane 6 military authority. After all they have to deal with enemies all the time. Holding such a titel doesn't mean they are part of the usual command chain or have to think up the battle plans themselves. If it comes to the worst, they just should be able to draw upon their military authority.

>>TadStone

Ur welcome! PM me if u need help!

It was short yes but I don't think it needed to be much longer


Eagerly awaiting whatever you bring next

This was BEAUTIFUL story. thanks. :pinkiehappy::derpytongue2::pinkiehappy:

3421587
Marshal of the air force is the English term for the most senior rank in a number of air forces.  that is what an Marshal of the air force is.
About the realistic things, the reactions to her death is not part of the realism, it's part of making good charters, what I mean by realsem is how close the systems in this world feel to the real world, and the military system feels really off, I don't know maybe it's just cause I believe all military titles should be inured, maybe I'm being nitpicke, maybe I'm just confused to why in your last story felt like you put actually research in to the adoption system, yet the military system feels made up here, but a lot of people like it, I guess this story was made to bring tears to the people who are only into scootalove and not people who are in to scootalove and completed the last of us, but as I keep saying your writing and dialog are amazing good enough to earn a like from me but not good enough to make me say I love this story, and in my opinion you are hugely underrated, I said the guardian was the dark knight and this story was the dark knight rises, well the dark knight rises was still good, and I am excited to see what you do next.
By the way as I said before in the military some times you have to choose the lesser of two evils and I don't think any of the mane 6 can make that choice, which is why I feel they should not have military command.
3419511
I don't personally believe the wonderbolts can be registered as full on military manly because these is how military training works in the real world

And remember everything I have said is based off my personal opinion.

Just make sure to involve some TwiDash again in that new Scootadopt you mentioned, kind of feels like there wasn't enough here :twilightblush:
As for the story itself, well what can I say, I wouldn't be here if I didn't love the previous one :twilightsmile:

This is really amazing and immersive story.

Unfortunately, I've managed to stumble on a few minor glitches that distracted me... Namely "Applebloom" in the second chapter (aka the-chapter-after-recap), some missing commas in the dialogs, such as this:

“I am Twi. Please. I want to see my daughter...”

Rainbow Dash isn't Twi. Regardless how hard she tries c:

But aside of that; This is really amazing story.

~Twi

3475144

Thanks for the compliment!
I corrected the mistakes you gave. I swear my proofreader and I went over everything more than once...

3476186
That happens. Especially if you're editing a story for too long, The errors that you're supposed to fix just get blurred because you're looking at them for too long.

This is why I prefer to have more than one proofreader / editor. There will be much less errors with yet another set of eyes. Well... unless you get a crappy editor that agrees with everything and everyone. xD (it happened)

But keep in mind, that there are quite a few more errors, even on the page where Dash used to introduce herself as Twi. If you'd want, I'd be happy to help with that. c:

~Twi

3478415

I know. I was planning to have another look at it again myself this weekend (pretty busy right now). It would be wonderful if you can have another look afterwards, but we can do that via PM.
Thanks!

3478426
I'd be happy to look into it. Just poke me with a sharp stick c:

~Twi

Well once again you have outdone yourself. You sir are an evil GENIOUS! I cried so much at the beginning, then sorta had a rage quit when I found out rainbow wasn't dead...I was pretty angry after all that crying! Great job, you are an AMAZING author! Aside from the minor grammar and spelling mistakes (which is totally understandable considering English isn't your first language) it had an amazing plot and very good overall structure. I cannot WAIT to read more from you!

You know those moments when you come across somthing truely beautiful in this world, and you wish others could see what you've just seen? :fluttercry:
This might as well be one of those moments, because this is the greatest scootadopt series ever written!
I'm not pulling your tail here when I say that, you sir have my heart on a damn plate. :pinkiesad2:
On a more serious note, a reading of this is being planned to be done in the near future by myself (I hope) Can I have the permission to undertake the monumental task of showing the world your brilliance? :scootangel:
P.S I might not reply to any reply you send, if you grace me with one, for quite a few hours due to the fact that typing this at midnight, on a smartphone, took me 20 minutes at best XD

3627816

I would be very much honered be someone doing a reading of this. So go ahead.

And... Just.. Thank you. ;)

Comment posted by VoxelTron deleted Dec 15th, 2013

3629843

Righty-ho, concider this a Christmas present from a stranger. :pinkiesmile:

(If I actually finish it before then, if not, then concider it a LATE Christmas present) :derpyderp1:

I'll PM you as soon as I've got it ready to roll out.

(WARNING SPOILERS)
Do not read this comment if you have not read through the story yourself.
You have been warned
_____________________________________________________________
Where to begin where to begin....alright, first things first. In general, it was a very nice touching little story about a daughter's genuine love for her mother, and despite hardships both endured over the course of many long weeks in the end they were reunited and overall I mostly enjoyed reading through it.
However a few things are continuing to nag at me simply because I read way too many fan-fictions and a great many more actual books by some pretty famous authors.

A-First off, an ash wood puppet? It was a an interesting twist to try and throw in, however because you simply threw it in there with little (to almost none) explanation about how it works nor where/how RD and the clan managed to acquire/create it, it made almost no sense to the overall storyline itself and seemed to only serve the purpose of bringing RD back 'from the dead'.

B-This little orb seemed a bit cliche simply because many rural tribesman in almost every piece of literature I've ever read has always had some form deity-like device that they would bathe in the blood of their enemies for. (a great example the crystalline artifact held by the Red Queen of the IronRiders in the Age of Fire series by E.E Knight) Another irritating peeve is so little was actually explained about said orb and nothing was explained about it's supposed incredible power. In short, it was unconvincing.

C-Guardian of many hues was a wonderful read simply because how much detail it managed to express and the genuine emotions displayed by the characters made it a believable scenario.(Add in the fact how well written the criminal investigation process was done, it speaks for itself) However, this story fell short because unlike its prequel, Lonely Mountains felt somewhat detached on an emotional level. Plenty of tears and heartache for Rainbow's 'death' yes, but the emotions displayed by the characters again didn't seem entirely convincing. Throw in the fact there were many many plotholes that still remain unfilled, it simply wasn't as good as the first.

Overall despite these minor issues the story was fairly decent with minimal grammatical issues (thank god:rainbowlaugh: or others would say, thank Celestia) and perhaps with a bit more effort on the plot line and extra attention to detail I could see a follow up that would be as good, if not better than Guardian of Many Hues.
Best of luck to you in future my friend.
img1.etsystatic.com/000/0/5595841/il_570xN.283557773.jpg
Peace- Exodious, the one between light and darkness

thank you for ending this on a good note, I cannot stand tragedy for the sake of tragedy stories. It seemed like that was where this was going.

Why did Rainbow have to go alone (even Twilight didn't seem to know)?
what was so important about the orb that it was worth the risk?

I almost laughed when they requested Rainbow to come back (no chance in Tartarus!)

Also that Jaq pony seemed rather callous about the situation, I get that he experienced the loss of his family but if anything that should have made him more receptive to what Rainbow was going through.

this is just me nit-picking, I was worried I would hate this story but it was WELL worth the read, thanks!

I have a couple things to say here.
I read both stories back to back. When I started Lonely Mountains, the feels hit me pretty hard, and at one point muttered "You a******!" out loud. Still, I continued reading, and I gave you a thumbs up. That was a full two chapters before Dash's return. Excellent read, and good job making me cry over fan fiction. That was a first.

Another great story... A sequel even!! I wish it could've continued a bit but... damn. Great job!!

To awnser your authors note the next 5 years of my little pony have all ready been announced. Also I liked your story nicely done but and please don't take this the wrong way only trying to help you need a bit of work the story was still good mind you just saying there's all ways room for improvement. See you later /)

4332108 *gasp* Reeeally? :pinkiehappy: I kind of sorta hope I stop liking it by then so I don't get too sad when it ends

4894968 wow that was awhile back lol but if I remember right then yea I forgot where but a friend of mine found like a episode name list or something idk it's been awhile can't really remember but who else is pumped for season 5 woooot oh and the second movie woooot!

4898069 eh, I didn't like Equestria Girls. It wasn't very good and for some reason humanized ponies creep me out :twilightoops:

4899630 lol I thought it was all right definitely better than I expected

4899716
4899630

I hate to be the spoilsport here, and I really appreciate you two finding and reading my story, but could you please stop the off topic discussion in the comments? I'm not trying to be mean, but I like my story comments about my story :twilightsheepish:

Thank you very much! Have a Scootaloo :scootangel:

(... and a Rainbow and Twilight as well so she isn't lonely :rainbowwild::twilightsmile: )

4899778 lol it's been awhile since I read this truth be told i don't really remember it ....hmmm wasn't this one like the third story in a trilogy?

Will there be more of a story regarding the north and the actions up there? You've put quite a bit of detail into it as it is.

5437717

Most likely not. At least not for now. You might have noticed that I haven't updated anything for a long time. Real life really has drained me during the last month. But I will consider it once I manage to finish my planned works I still have in the pipeline :)
Also, thanks for the fav :scootangel:

5437967

So I don't need to send the Pillow Ninja after you then?

I will admit that I was skeptical of this one, but it ended up being well worth the read. I would say that Guardians was darker, but I consider child abuse to be darker subject matter than war and death (torture is kind of on the same level for me), but that's all subjective, of course. I see some complaints about the twist in the comments... While I enjoyed the twist, I think you should have hinted at it a bit in the prior scenes with Dash. It definitely kind of came out of left field for me, though it ended up not being a bad thing. Other than that, I really don't have much to critique here. The LUS and adverb usage is still a bit of a problem, but this is an older story, and it isn't as bad as it was in Guardians.

All in all, thanks for the reading, Tad. :twilightsmile:

6056520

The LUS and adverb usage is still a bit of a problem, but this is an older story, and it isn't as bad as it was in Guardians.

Now that's a compliment :rainbowlaugh:
But I agree with you completely there.

Thanks for the read Babs. I feel honoured^^

You earn 10/10 Murders Hugs Murders Hugs Murders Hugs Murders Hugs Murder Hugs!

As a more serious review this earns a 9/10ish for Excellence.

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