"I am going to miss most honorable honorable ha-ha and akachan me," Sparkle-san stated, pulling the hood of her fluffy white winter jacket tighter around her head. Even with the winds blowing and the snow swirling around her the sword-wielding mare looked utterly cute dressed in her winter gear. Her large, highly-expressive eyes shone out from beneath the fluffy hood as she looked about the snow-covered landscape, mouth opened in a tiny awe-inspired smile."I wish they could have joined us on this arm of the journey."
“Leg,” Shining said.
“This arm of the leg.” Sparkle-san frowned. “Am I saying that right?”
“Yup, nailed it,” Spike stated.
Tydal's horned glowed and the ski goggles he was wearing shifted slightly. He wore a heavy black coat lined with the fur of some animal (he'd offered to tell them what animal it was and how he'd killed it but everypony passed). "We couldn't bring that dragon Twilight and the annoying vampire one with us and someone had to escort them back. Twilimus had the trailer to hold them all but has never been to Equestria and Cadence and Shining just joined us on this journey."
"And you?" Spike asked, shooting some fire out of his mouth to wear his hands up. He was perched on Tydal's back, the snow too deep for himself or Scootaloo to walk through. The orange filly, decked out in a blue parka with Rainbow Dash's face on it, was sitting on Shining Armor's back.
"Tydal's the only one of us who’s been to Reinssa," Cadence stated, happily skipping through the snow. She showed no signs of actually noticing that the drifts were 2 feet deep. Twiley, dressed in a blue jacket and snow pants, let out a whoop of joy from her perch on Cadence's back as the mare danced along the snow drifts.
"Yes, but only when he invaded," Shining complained, struggling with the bright orange parka he'd been forced to wear.
"I'll have you know that the perytons and the capricorns are lifelong friends and allies," Tydal complained. "Those 'invasions' were merely fun and games."
"You declared war on each other 20 times!" Shining snapped.
"All in good fun. No one was seriously hurt, not a single life was lost, and usually my brother Polar Vortex and I ended each war with a drinking contest."
"Which one is Polar Vortex?" Scootaloo asked, pulling out her 'Big Book of Insane Immortals'. "Is he the god of the winds?"
"That's my elder brother Fuzzy Thinker. Polar is my younger brother and god of winter, snow, ice and cold. Me being the god of storms along with the god of the sea and war means we have to work together a lot. He is the lord of the peryton and Zsar of Reinssa."
"Is there a ruler of any country that isn't one of your relatives?" Spike asked.
Tydal considered this. "I don't think so. Maybe Finland, but that country is just a bunch of fish anyway." He glanced over at Scootaloo. "We any closer to the Twilight you sensed?"
"She feels like she is about a mile in that direction!" Scootaloo called out, the winds picking up and snow and ice pelting her face.
"Where did this storm come from?" Shining shouted over the raging winds.
"The dreaded ice oni must be attacking us!" Sparkle-san declared. "Quick, we must use the gem of a thousand flames to drive it back before it encases us in much ice quite bad!"
The war good shook his head. "It isn't an ice oni and it isn't a true storm. Use your head, captain, you've encountered this before!"
Shining blinked as it dawned on him what was happening. "A climate bubble?"
"The same that surrounds the Crystal Empire. Heat and cold-"
"-cause strong thermodynamic reactions that can result in extreme weather conditions!" The group watched as a small winged-shape figure suddenly appeared out of the swirling snow and ice. The pony, for peryton did not have manes or long tails the likes of the one the newcomer was sporting, hurried towards them, a huge grin on her face. "They teach you that Day 1 when you join the weather team."
"Rainbow Dash!" Scootaloo instantly leapt off of Shining's back, only to disappear in a deep drift. "MMmph Damph!" Cadence skipped over and yanked the filly out, Scootaloo spitting out snow and looking at her hero with wide, happy eyes. "Rainbow Dash!"
"Heya, squirt!" Dash said with a smirk, motioning for Cadence to set Scootaloo on her back. "Heard you and the Scootettes were looking for Twilights and I managed to convince Princess Celestia to warp me over so I could help you out."
"Scootettes?" Spike asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Rainbow Dash, are we near a city?" Shining asked.
"Heck ya!" Rainbow proclaimed. "You're only a block away from Moosecow."
"Capital city of Reinssa," Cadence said to a confused Twiley. "I bet Uncle Vortex is there and can lend a hoof!"
Shining nodded. "That is a smart idea. We haven't had all that much luck avoiding insanity on this trip, or any trip Cadence, Tydal and I seem to take-"
"We're magnets for trouble!" Cadence said with glee.
"-so having the country's ruler on our side might be wise."
"Well, come on then!" Rainbow called out. "I've been here half a day so I already got you guys booked in your hotel rooms, compliments of Princess Celestia."
"Well, this is bloody brilliant," Tydal said as he stomped through the snow, following after Rainbow Dash. “Tell the bellhops I will begin hunting them for sport within the next 3 hours.”
Spike let out a huff. "Of course, knowing our luck, things will only go downhill from here."
~Meanwhile, downhill from where the group was...~
"Stupid Ponyville ponies," a purple-coated mare complained as she walked down the street. "Ruined everything... ruined my life... I'll show them... show them all... especially that mare Tri-"
"Why so glum, little sister?"
The mare whipped around, her eyes narrowed and horn glowing as she prepared to attack the intruder. However, she quickly realized that even she, with all her great power and brains (and charm and wit and beautiful singing voice), was no match for the beings before her. There were three in total and each one, to the mare's utter surprise, resembled her, if only in glancing. The largest of the three only shared her face, for the rest of the being was made up of a mismash of assorted body parts. She was watching the mare, grinning like a mad fool, her eyes lit with wicked glee.
"Well well well," Delirium said idly, snapping her fingers and summoning monocle purely so she could remove it and polish it. "Look at what we have here."
The second was a strange mare. She was easily larger than an average pony, wearing a brown jacket and a bulletproof vest. Her mane was cut short, in a military cut, and her eyes were as dark as the deepest of pits. Most disturbing was the strange mask that adorned her face; it cover her mouth and jaw and the tubing that ran along the front gave it the appearance of an opened maw.
"I wonder if you are worthy of what we offer." The masked pony's voice was an odd mix: deep yet with the hint of cracking, powerful yet cultured. It was all at once right and wrong and set the mare on edge.
"Enough, Twibane," the final member and leader of the threesome stated. "I have selected her and I am the leader of the League."
"League?" the mare whispered.
"Oh yes," Delirium stated, clapping her hands. "I have no doubt that either victory or painful death awaits us all by our uniting as one. Of course, if you seek a painful death then you get victory either way!"
"The only death will be that of Equestria," Twibane declared. "I will break it under my hoof. And do not throw about that title too much, Nightfall... there is only one League where I stand and it is of Shadows, not 'evil Twilights'.”
The mare frowned, pulling her cape tighter around her. "I... I don't know about Equestria, but I'd like to see Ponyville burn for what it did to me!"
"Yes... I imagine so," Nightfall Eclipse purred. The wicked Twilight leaned forward, her green eyes gleaming in the pale light that hung over Moosecow. "The elements of Harmony embarrassed you, belittled you, and failed to pay you the respect you deserved. I and my companions offer you a chance to hurt them..."
"I don't want them hurt," the mare snapped. "I want them dead!"
"But death is so quick!" Twibane complained. "Their punishment must be more severe. You must take from them all they have... steal that which they treasure, corrupt those they hold as innocent, break all that they care for. Only when their life is in ashes... only then will you give them permission to die."
The mare was breathing heavily but it wasn't fear that made her heart race. It was desire, desire for the power to do exactly what these three suggestion. "Yes... I think I could go for that."
"Then I suppose it is time to give you your present!" Delirium said, holding out her hands. Grains of black sand began to swarm into her hands. They latched onto each other and quickly began to take the form of a strange black pendant.
"Tell me," Nightfall said with a grin, her fanged teeth gleaming as she did so, "have you ever heard of the Amulet of the Alicorns?"
~MC~MC~MC~
"Ah, hello hello!" Scootaloo craned her neck up so she could look at the peryton that was waiting for them outside their hotel. The buck was about as big as Bigh Macintosh, though much of his bulk came from his shaggy coat, which looked to have never been trimmed. He had a long snout and deep, dark eyes that stared at them from under his great bushy eyebrows. His horns were quite impressive, shooting out a good 7 inches past his shoulders. His wings were quite large as well, though it was hard to tell as they blended in perfectly with his coat. "I am called Cold Snap, father of Frost Foot. His royal Zsar Polar Vortex bids you all welcome to Moosecow. I have been sent to attend to your needs until Zsar Vortex is free to see to you."
"Privet,” Tydal said, bowing to his head to Cold Snap. "I am Gospodin Tydal, otets of Printsess Coral, Misty, Celestia and Luna. May I present my druz’ya, Printsessa Cadence and Kapitan Shining Armor of the Crystal Empire, Sparkle-san of Ponpan, and Rainbow Dash, Scootaloo, Spike, and Twiley of Equestria. All foalless."
"May your future synov'ya be strapping and your docheri beautiful," Cold Snap said. "Allow me to take your belongs then we might begin the tour of this fair city."
"What was with the greeting?" Spike asked.
“Yeah, why were you talking gibberish, Mr. Grumpy-Fish?” Twiley asked, grinning at the way Tydal scowled at his new nickname.
“That was not ‘gibberish’. It was Reinssian.” Tydal rolled his eyes. “I was giving the proper Reinssian greeting, stating the names of my kids and that all of you are foalless.”
It was Shining Armor who answered the next part. "In Reinssa parents strive to raise strong, noble children. While places like Grifland take pride in their forefathers, here it is their children. To not announce you have a child when you have one is seen as you admitting that you are unworthy of being their parent."
"That's why I stated you were all foalless, to ensure that no one took the wrong meaning," Tydal stated.
"Anything else we should know, most honorable grumpy goat-fish and most honorable Shining-chan?" Sparkle-san asked.
Shining nodded. "When you try to buy something, they will attempt to give it to you for free. Don't take it, they’re just being polite. You have to refuse, allow them to refuse your money, then finally give it to them. Taking stuff for free will be seen as a grave insult. It’s a Saddle Arabia trait but they share a boarder and the cultures have mixed."
"Don't show teeth when you smile unless you can back it up," Tydal stated, flashing his own razor-sharp teeth. "Spike, you should be ok with your fangs, but the rest of you will become a target for attack if your flashing your blunt, square teeth." Under his breath, he muttered, "How you ponies deal with those clunky things, I'll never know..."
"So basically, our best bet is to stick around you, huh big guy?" Rainbow nudged Tydal.
“While you are an attractive mare, I am a married god, Miss Dash.”
“I… I know…” Rainbow stammered.
Tydal continued as if she hadn’t spoken. “Please don’t misunderstand me… were I unattached I would be very attracted to you. You have a warrior’s heart and your physical skills would be well served to ruling my kingdom.” Tydal tapped his chin. “Merida may be receptive… she is a possessive sort but also open minded-“
“Erk!” Rainbow whimpered, eyes going to pin-pricks.
“Rainbow Dash loves Tydal! Rainbow Dash loves Tydal!” Twiley sang while Shining worked to keep Cadence from using her magic to bring the pony and capricorn together.
"Now that your bags are settled, we might begin." Cold Snap gestured for them to follow him and Shining, Cadence and Rainbow Dash each knelt down to allow Twiley, Spike and Scootaloo (respectfully) to clamor onto their backs. Tydal took point, nodding to the perytons that passed and flashing his teeth at any that took too long glazing at the ponies and baby dragon. The sight of the massive capricorn (who was easily three times their size) leering at them with shark-like teeth was enough to ensure that they didn't have to deal with anyone who wanted to test themselves against the foreigners. "I assure you, Lord Tydal, there is no need-"
"If I didn't throw my weight around my brother would never let me hear the end of it," Tydal said simply. "Besides, they’re just lucky I don't sic my baby sister on them. Isn’t that right, Cadence?"
"I bet a lot of static electricity is generated when you guys sno-sno," Cadence said to Cold Snap with glee. " I could power a microwave if I just..."
"See what I mean," Tydal said as Cadence yammered on to herself about what experiments she might be able to do.
"Quite," Cold Snap said with a gulp. "Well then, young Rainbow Dash told me that she is a flyer and I hope you all have time for a quick stop."
"Where's that?" Twiley asked.
"The famous Wonderbolts are performing in the Cloud Arena and-"
"YES!" Scootaloo and Rainbow shouted at the same time.
"Seems that answers your question," Shining stated.
~45 minutes later...~
"Why are you two so happy anyway?" Spike asked. "I thought you were on the trial squad for the Wonderbolts, Dash."
"Well, I am," Rainbow Dash admitted, bouncing up and down in her seat. Scootaloo was sitting next to her, the two of them wearing matching Wonderbolt caps. Cold Snap had managed to get them great seats, right in the middle of the stands (being high meant one could see the aerial maneuvers without tilting their head but left you unable to see the low terrain moves; the reverse was true for the sideline seats) "But just because I've gotten to know some of them doesn't mean I've suddenly become jaded! A chance to see a Wonderbolt performance is still something to behold!"
"Pfff," Tydal grumped. "Give me the Gladiators anyday!"
"You watch Gladiator matches?" Sparkle-san asked.
"No, I compete.” He glanced at Rainbow Dash. “You understand, don’t you? Why watch when you can experience it yourself? Your heart pumping, your muscles throbbing with each thrust and plunge, the sweat dripping from your brow and the screams echoing around you…”
“Erk!”
“I'm still trying to convince Celestia to return to the sands... her mace and my tail blade have not put on a show in quite some time."
"I prefer the kabuki performances," Sparkle-san said. "They are done quite well/The audience sits enrapt/Seats are just five bits."
"Well, just remember that this is only a short detour," Shining said. "We still have to track down another Twilight."
"And visit the local sex dungeon," Cadence reminded him.
"I don't think there is a sex dungeon in Moosecow," Cold Snap said.
"There is always a sex dungeon... you just need to know where to look."
"Here they come!" Rainbow said excitedly. "So... so awesome!"
"There's Soarin' and Spitfire and Silver Lining!" Scootaloo said.
"Hey, I thought you hated Spitfire, Rainbow Dash," Spike said.
"Why would you think that?"
"Well, she's always so rude to you and self-serving! She let that showboat be the lead in your pairing at flight camp and then she lied about Soarin' being injured and tried to tempt you to join their team instead of flying with Fluttershy and Bicep-"
"Well, that would have worked out fine with the great Derpy Hooves taking Rainbow's place," Cadence said. "I heard she once performed a Sonic Muffinboom."
“I knew a Derpy Hooves once,” Tydal stated. “Her Doctor friend was ever so grumpy but she was glorious with her sword! The gladiator pits ran red with blood and chocolate chips.”
"-and she was a total snob at the Grand Galloping Gala!" Spike exclaimed, ignoring the two deities.
Rainbow shrugged. "Hey, that is just her being tough."
"Well I think she's just a giant-"
"-Country of Reinssa!" Spitfire called out, stepping up to the mic after doing her flyover. "We thank you for letting us visit your wonderful city and hope you enjoy the grand aerodynamic feats we are about to perform for you!" The crowd let out great bellows and pleasure, making the stadium sound like it was a giant bass guitar. "Now then, for our first act-"
"You'll step away from that mike and stop this nonsense!"
"What the hey?" Rainbow cried out. The rest of the crowd looked skyward, where a new pegasus was slowly descending into the arena.
"I always knew you were plotting to steal my command of the Wonderbolts, Private Spitfire, but this arrogant performance really takes the cake! I'll see your wings clipped for this!"
Scootaloo stared at the new arrival, decked out in her own Wonderbolt flight suit, and let out a groan. "Oh come on!"
"Who the hay do you think you are and what the hay are you doing in one of our uniforms?!" Spitfire snapped in anger.
The new arrival merely smirked, her purple wings spread wide. "Going to play that game, private? Fine. I am Skyburst Sparkle, the TRUE captain of the Wonderbolts." She turned towards the front of the ground level of the arena, where the sound system was set up to provide music for the show. DJ Pon-3 was sitting there, a huge smile on her face, prepping her records. "DJ... drop me a fat beat to kick this mare's flank too!"
"Yo, I gots ya!" Vinyl Scratch said before motioning for another pony who was under the table connecting wires to join her. "Come on now, you said you wanted to be my partner, well this is your chance."
"Awwww damn! DJ Twibrite in the house!" the magenta DJ said, her mane (which was done in cornrows) wiggling with every bob of her head.
"OH COME ON!!!!" Scootaloo screamed.
Alright, so some notes about this chapter.
For those that don't know, peryton are absolutely insane creatures. They are winged reindeer with have fangs and razor sharp teeth. They are Santa's reindeer if Santa was designed by Todd MacFarlene. Peryton and Reinssa were first mentioned in 'The God Squad'
Originally, Twiock was going to be with Nightfall and Delirium, but I realized with her antimagic stance, having her involved with the Amulet of the Alicorns didn't make sense, so I decided to introduce a new member to the League: Twibane. Twibane was born in San Ponta prison and, due to arcane laws, she had to serve the prison sentence her father originally was given (as his blood was hers). Twibane eventually took control of the prison and uses a special mask to give herself samples of venom, a chemical that gives her super-strength.
Tydal was originally going to leave with Luna, as I felt he had been in the story enough, but I realized that with his history with the peryton he would be needed, so his departure was delayed.
The history of Skyburst and Twibrite (and the mysterious new evil Twilight) will be discussed next chapter.
3946018
That is totally fucking awesome.
so... the Twilight at the beginning... the one who is getting that amulet? are we boned, screwed, or both?
Cadence: ohh! ohh! i hope it's both!
3946095
I will only say this: That Twilight is NOT a creation of mine... she belongs to another fic. Good luck guessing!
3946109
let me guess, she's Twilight from the Lunaverse...
... what about Past Sins Twilight? it would be interesting to see her going nuts over her daughter not being there. or if she is there, that would add some extra interestingness
It would be funny if Twibrite was the only Twilight to use and drugs.
3946018 It's Lunaverse!Twilight, isn't it?
So, seeing as we have Unicorn, Earth Pony, Alicorn, Capricorn, Draconeques and now Pegasus Twilight, am I correct in thinking that we will see a Peryton Twilight? I see a huge opportunity for a Frozen parody here.
So, are the Mane 6 in Twibane's world the other villains from the Dark Knight series? Or was this more of a one-off?
Okay, well, we seem to have Lunaverse Twilight (who I'm barely familiar with as it's one of the more infamous AUs next to that of Past Sins, Nupitalverse, Conversion Bureau, and Pony POV) joining the villains, since she's the only one with a seriously known grudge against her world's Elements of Harmony while not a member of one... and that universe has a lot of black and gray morality to begin with, anyway. We also have Bane Twilight.
We also have Skyburst, finally filling in the spot of the Wonderbolt suited Twilight who was born a pegasus and is the Captain of the Wonderbolts in her universe, and we now have Twibrite, who is the top DJ of her universe. You know, the next Twilight I'm probably going to end up seeing is the Mario Twilight or something like that.
3946207
Yes, they are. Obviously, of course, Pinkie is The Joker
Edit: The rest
Fluttershy is Scareshy
Rarity is Rar's al Ghul
Applejack is Two-Jack
and Dash is Cat-Dash
Well the peryton sound like fun, can't wait to see more on the new Twilights.
Also, "Saddle Arabia trait but they share a boarder and the cultures have mixed" should be border not boarder.
Awesome!
Ooooooo, we get to keep Sparkle-san? What fun!
Ehh, I rather hope that that isn't Lunaverse!Twilight. She was never actually evil in that 'verse, just temporarily convinced that the Elements had gone to the wrong mares. "I want them all dead!" would be very out of character for her.
Hah!
Wonderbolt Twilight and DJ Twilight? Hell yeah.
3946109
Is it the one from the Lunaverse where Trixie is the Element of Magic?
This is getting far whacker by the chapter. I can't keep up but I still love reading this! Can't wait for whatever crazy twists come in next time!
Well, the only species left for an alternate Twilight to be (not including a peryton version) is human (which we will see at some point seeing as she is featured in the cover art).
Two Twilights joining the good guys and two new ones joining the bad guys. Ain't this just something. And then, Tydal basically hitting on Rainbow was funny. And we are nowhere near the end of this insanity by the sounds of it.
About how all of Tydal's relatives are heads of European countries?
Mention Switzerland. Switzerland is the only country that has never been invaded ion the last hundred years, and that includes BOTH World Wars, despite being in an extremely valuable strategic position.
Because their awesome.
Chapter started out relatively sane, but that couldn't last very long now could it?
I really am hoping you incorporate my HUMAN Twilight alongside the regular human Twilight from EG. After all, the former created humanity through fiction.
Mind you Russia's awesome too. If my memory serves, they have only been conquered once by Genghis Khan, and...
I being a nerd again, Aren't I?
3946241 Pinkie Pie as The Joker? Nice choice my friend, Pinkie Pie is a perfect fit!
3946459
Or a Turian Twilight, or a Covenant Twilight, or an Eldar Twilight, or any species, really.
This is defender2222 we're talking about, anything can happen.
Well three Twilights. One Wonderbolt, one DJ, and I think the Lunaverse or a Trixie Twilight. What's next a Pokemon Twilight. This is crazy, and I love it. Best of luck with the next chapter.
So we have a Bane Twilight, a Trixie Twilight, a DJ Twilight, and a Wonderbolt Twilight. This is way too relaxed.
3947228 Tru dat. Also, now that I think of it, haven't seen a griffon Twilight either.
Needs more Ponyville Saints
3947326 hm would that be a rapidash?:
3946129 Except Lunaverse Twilight never gets vengeful toward Ponyville, just excessively prone to trying to find ways of proving herself right, then teleporting away when she gets backed into a corner instead of facing her problems. And even that only lasts until she willingly turned herself in and accepted a sentence of house-arrest in the Ponyville library.
3947769 That would be awesome a rage Twilight that is always on fire, only when she gets sad does she turn purple.
Oooh, you know who should show up? Madam President Twilight from the amazing Loyal2Luna's Mass Effect crossover. Shades of Twilight
Defender, just letting you know that if you don't use her, I probably will.
Is there a limit to the wackiness of this fic?
I DON'T THINK SO!
3946018 freaking awesome. Also why no mechromancer twilight? Please have one! Please!!!
I see what you did there.
Is it bad that I want to see a Twikhornite beserker on the good guys side?
3946207
Pinkie Pie as the Joker (or harlequin),
Rainbow Dash as Deathstroke,
Fluttershy as Poison Ivy,
Rarity as Penguin,
Applejack is hard to pin down, but maybe two-face, or taking Fluttershy's role as Poison Ivy.
I need to write this.
3947813
well, it was a guess...
if i am wrong, i haven't read that fic yet...
speaking of a fic i have read, i wonder if the insane Twilight from Ptolemy will appear...
Please make a Red vs Blue Twilight
Pinkie = Caboose
Applejack = Sarge
Rainbow Dash = Tucker
Twilight = Church
Rarity = Donut
Fluttershy = Doc
Spike = Simmons.
Now, Who's going to be Lopez?
3948881 Zecora, with the gag being that she speaks clearly, just in rhyme, and the others don't understand 'that Zebrican mumbo-jumbo.'
A few suggestions. Pokemon trainer Twilight, DBZ Twilight, dinosaur Twilight, Todd McFarlen's Spawn Twilight, claymation Twilight, disney Twilight, Hanable Lecter Twilight, Xenomorph Twilight, Predator Twilight. I could give more, but that'll do for now.
what about a un-smart Twilight?
3946018
I'm gonna take a leap and guess that the Twilight going after the Alicorn Amulet is a more extreme version of the Lunaverse Twilight?
3950147
That would be a good guess...
3948352 I second this.
I'd love to see a Twilight Kong, who does nothing but being a gorilla, but Twilimus Prime would insist she's Twilimus Primal, and treat her as a fellow warrior.
3961023
Actually, Twilimus would get insulted if someone said Twi Primal was a transformer, as "Twilimus is a truck, not some poop slinging monkey!"
3963195
I forgot the bigotry that exists among all Transformers factions. But now, I finally have the resolution to make a custom transformer, with an alt mode being a truck and the robot mode being a gorilla, instead of being humanoid.
I'd like to make a suggestion. How about brining in a vampire from something like Buffy into this story. You know, one of the more badass ones who can tell Twilight Twilight to go sit in a corner until she realizes what a real vampire is like.
can you make a twilight based on this
http://quizzicalkisses.deviantart.com/art/Through-the-Ice-Caves-of-Dragon-Mountain-371768773?q=gallery%3AQuizzicalKisses%2F22627510&qo=4
and it would be so awesome if that version of spike somehow joined her
Hm, a Pegasus Wonderbolt Twilight with Spitfire as her Starscream and a DJ Twilight working with DJPon3 also known as Vinyl Scratch.