Twilight Fight Night
"Welcome wrestling fans to Pony Grudge Battle! Iron Will here, thanking you for tuning in! As always joining me in the booth is my cohost and good friend, Fluttershy."
"Uh, hello there everyone. It's, uh, nice to be here and I hope you are having a nice day."
"And if you aren't then you are about to because we have some hardcore pony-fighting-pony action coming to you!"
"I would like to state for the 117th time that I would much rather prefer it if we could all just get along and be friends and not resort to violence. There is no reason to hoofpunch a mare-"
"When you can hit them with a chair! Well said, Fluttershy!"
"I, uh, didn't say that."
"Tonight we have a barn-burner of a battle for you! Straight from Mooscow, Reinssa we have a battle of the Sparkles! This one is so intense we are calling it ‘Twilight Fight Night’! Fluttershy, why don't you tell us a bit more about how we got to this point?"
"Oh, I didn't know we were calling it that. I suggested the 'Can We Please Not Fight and Just Be Friends Hug-A-Thon' but... ok. Well, you see nice TV viewer, a while back my good friend, Twilight Sparkle, was attempting to work on some spells. Meanwhile Scootaloo, who is a very nice and sweet little filly, was trying to figure out how to get her cutie mark. Now, I've tried to explain to her that a cutie mark will come when it is ready, but she didn't listen."
"I had a similar situation when i was a child. I hadn't grown my horns yet and many of the calves in my school made fun of me."
"Iron Will, that is so sad!"
"Indeed! Iron Will has a great depths of emotions.... and I proved that when I tapped into the emotion knows as badassery and beat up every calf that made fun of me."
"Uh... I don't think bad... that naughty word you just said... is an emotion?"
"I thought that too, at first, but then I got this kick ass flannel-colored ring from the Flannel Lantern Corps and learned that badassery is completely an emotion!"
"Who is that bearded ape on your ring?"
"Chuck Norris of course! Anyway, continue your story, Fluttershy."
"Oh, right. Sorry about that. So Scootaloo crashed into Twilight's library and the explosion caused Twilight to shatter into a bunch of different Twilights. I was very sad when i heard that and cried all night."
"When I get sad I punch my own tears until they stop leaking out of my eyes!"
"Oh, Iron Will, you shouldn't be ashamed if you cry. Crying is a natural part of life. I cry for many reasons... when I'm scared or my feelings are hurt or when Rainbow Dash makes her special brownies-"
"I think we have a clip of that!"
~Two Months Ago~
"I... I don't feel that good," Rarity said with a groan. "Does... does anypony else... does anypony else... I forgot the point!" The white mare began to snicker.
"Ya know what I'd love?" Applejack said, lying on Rarity's fainting couch. Her mane was no longer in a ponytail and she was taking great pleasure in letting the strands of hair fan out under her head. "A peach. Just once I'd like a peach!"
"Heeheeheee," Twilight giggled.
"I do say you are all acting rather weird," Pinkie said with a sniff. She pulled her silk bathrobe around her before settling back into the loveseat she'd selected. She had a pipe in one hand and a Long Wind's masterpiece "War and Peeps" (which told the story of marshmellow peeps trying to survive in a warzone... it was considered one of the great classics of Equestria.). "I don't understand why you are all acting so silly. Why you can't be mature like me, I'll never know."
Fluttershy was in the corner rocking back and forth, chewing on her mane. "Squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares. Squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares. Squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares. Squares are rectangles but not all rectangles are squares."
"Fluttershy, are you ok?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"GIRLS!" Fluttershy screamed, eyes wide with panic. "I need you to tell me I can leave the library whenever I want."
"What?" Rarity asked.
The yellow mare began to tug on her mane nervously. "I... I need you to tell me I... I can l-leave the library whenever I want."
Rainbow shrugged. "You can leave the library-"
"BITCH DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" Fluttershy lashed out and knocked Rainbow out with one punch.
"...heeheehee." Twilight giggled.
~MC~MC~MC~
"well, I would like to take a moment to remind our younger viewers that drugs are bad and can ruin your life. The only good drug is no drug... and steroids!"
"Uh, I don't think-"
"Now, let us meet the mares that will battling it out today! First up with have Twixie, a Twilight Sparkle who comes from a world where Princess Celestia went power mad! Twixie has been empowered by the Amulet of the Alicorns, a mystical dark magic tailsmen that enhances a unicorn's powers to nearly godly levels. I must say, I am not quite buying her reasoning for wanting to destroy us all but badness is badness! She will be a tough opponent to beat!"
"I just feel bad that she is upset. I wish I could give her a hug and tell her everything will be alright."
"I think her challenger will give her a hug... a hug of pain!"
"That doesn't sound like a hug at all."
"Facing off against Twixie is a stable of skilled ponies. First off we have Skyburst, a pegasus Twilight."
"I really did enjoy her Sonic Skyboom... it was truly beautiful and showed us the magic that exists in the world around us. Iron Will got really emotional when he saw it."
"I thought we agreed to never bring that up again."
"I think we have a clip of that!"
~10 Minutes Earlier~
Iron Will sat next to Fluttershy, his eyes wide and bottom lip stuck out as he watched the Skyboom go off above him. "No words... to describe this beauty. They should have seen a poet..."
~MC~MC~MC~
"...anyway, back to Twixie's opponents. Joining Skyburst are of course Scootaloo and her team: Spike, Shining Armor, Princess Cadence, Rainbow Dash, Twiley, and a shrunk down Tydal."
"I think Tydal looks very cute."
"Cute but deadly! He's like a piranha in a kiddie pool! Now then, rounding out the group is the newest arrival, Twizio! This assassins from Iponia is highly skilled and armed to the teeth with deadly weapons."
"It looks like they are about to talk... oh, I do hope they are able to settle their differences and be friends."
~MC~MC~MC~
“I will rip off your legs and beat you with them!” Twixie bellowed. Her horn was crackling with barely contained magic, stray bolts shooting off into the stands. It was only the quick thinking of Shining Armor that saved them; his shield was strong and protected the innocent but Scootaloo could tell that it was hurting him every time a bolt hit.
“You are all bluster and talk, Templar,” Twizio declared. “But that will not win you a fight!” She leapt out of the way and joined with Skyburst, who was standing on one of the high columns that had managed to survive the onslaught of magic.
“Look, I get it,” Skyburst said. “You get a magic trinket and suddenly you think you are Tau Sunflare reborn. That’s nice but that doesn’t give you the right to attack others and kill as you see fit. So why don’t you just calm down and we can talk this out.”
“Or not and I’ll burrow inside you and then gut you inside-out!” little Tydal snapped.
“You all dare think you can take on my might?” Twixie roared.
“Not me!” Spike whimpered. “None of these ponies speak for me!”
Twizio pulled out her crossbow and fired another bolt right at Twixie, the unicorn only barely managing to avoid the shot. The purple magician-turned librarian-turned insane dark magic user glared at the assassin, calling forth all the power she had. “I will skin you all alive and use your flesh for book covers!”
“Again, the actions of these ponies do not represent the opinions and views of this baby dragon!”
~MC~MC~MC~
“Looks like things are heating up here, Fluttershy!”
“Oh, why can’t everyone get along and be nice and happy?”
“Because nice and happy don’t net you good ratings! Now, back to the action! Twixie is opening things up with a vicious magic blast that appeared designed to turn Skyburst’s wings into lead. Luckily for the pegasus Twilight she is just too fast for the black magic mare and is… yes, she is going in for a flying piledriver!”
“I can’t look, I can’t look!”
“No, I take it back! The piledriver was purely a bluff to allow Skyburst to get in a nasty headbutt! Twixie will be seeing stars tomorrow, I can tell you that.”
“Maybe I’ll just focus on the stars instead of three versions of my good friend fighting. Oh look, there is the North Star and a really bright and happy star...”
“That is no star, that is a space station that will one day blow us all up! But until then we are going to focus on this fight. Looks like Twizio is up and she is starts off with a smokebomb to cover her tracks. Twixie is countering through with a wind blast spell that also sends Skyburst flying. But Twizio is not to be deterred and she quickly a sleeping dart at Twixie. I think the dark magic unicorn is going to be out… Twizio is going for the finisher, her famous Hidden Blade Strike… NO! Twixie manages to purge the poison from her body and has Twizio in a headlock!”
“I… I don’t like any of this! Where is Rainbow Dash and her special brownies?”
“Rainbow Dash is up in the air, Fluttershy, having joined in on the action! She and Skyburst and circling the arena… yes… yes… I don’t believe it… it’s a Sonic Rainboom and a Sonic Skyboom! Oh… oh, it is so beautiful. Its enough to make a grown minatour cry. And that’s ok, because such beauty should be appreciated.”
“That is very moving, Iron Will!”
“Well, I always get choked up when two cocky jocks beat up a nerd. Remember kids, brains are for suckers. The twin Sonic blasts are heading right for Twixie and… and… yes, they have hit her! The unicorn is clearly dazed and is trying to get her barings… what’s this? Twizio has grabbed Lord Tydal, who was shrunk just before the fight, and is actually using him like a crossbow bolt! Twixie better watch out… TYDAL IS REGROWING!”
“His magic must have finally countered Twixie’s.”
“Yes indeed, Fluttershy, and now it is allowing him too… yes, I believe he is going for the Rock Bottom! Oh, that has got to hurt! But our favorite violence-loving capricorn isn’t done yet… he is removing the armbands he was wearing-“
“Why would he have armbands? He doesn’t have arms!”
“Because he is setting up for the Herd’s Elbow! Back, forth… boom! Tydal nails it! He is now pinning Twixie, which really doesn’t make sense since there is now ref, but it looks like-“
“Oh no… oh no! Look Iron Will… is that…”
“It is… ladies and gentlemares… the queen of the Changelings herself, Chrysalis, has just flown into the arena and… this can’t be! Viewers… it appears that another Twixie is riding on her back!”
~MC~MC~MC~
Tydal leapt off of Twixie and looked at his baby sister in confusion. “Chrysalis, what are you doing here?”
“Personal and private matters, big brother,” the changeling queen said as the second Twixie got off her back. This one was wearing Trixie’s cloak but none of the cockiness or attitude of the Twixie the group had been fighting was present. In fact, other than being a bit shyer than the Twilight they all knew, this Twixie could have been the lost Princess of the Stars… except without wings. “I had learned from Discord about the trouble you faced and decided to help. I was on my way here when I sensed a strong wave of despair and fright coming from the wintery fields that surround this city. I entered a cave and found this mare tied up, shivering in the cold. When I freed her and learned her story I knew I had to rush her and help you.”
“What are you talking about?” Scootaloo said. She’d heard that the changeling queen was working with the Celestia, Luna and the rest of their ‘God Squad’ but that didn’t mean she trusted the bug pony.
It was the second Twixie who answered. “I was captured by her-“ she pointed at the first Twixie, “-and trapped in that ice cave! It was horrible… she had ‘Let it Go’ on a loop and I had to listen to it for two whole days! I like music too but…”
Cadence suddenly popped up, her eyes wide with delight. "I LOVE THAT SONG!"
Cadence
Let it go
Let it go
I'm one with the winds and sky
Let it go
Let it go
You'll never see me cry
Here I stand
and here I stay
Let the storm rage on...
Chrysalis reached over and closed Cadence's mouth, pointing at a whimpering Twixie (the second one; the first just looked on in confusion). "I promise we can all sing later... but we need to focus on Twixie... both of them."
“Ok, how can there be two of them, black buggy me?” Cadence asked in confusion.
“There aren’t,” Chrysalis said sternly, glaring at the first Twixie. “The one you are battling… is a changeling.”
‘Twixie’ laughed, green fire swirling around her. “I guess my secret is out.” There was a great swell of energy and when the fire died down the group was confronted with ‘Twixie’s’ true form: a changeling queen version of Twilight, the Amulet of the Alicorns still around her neck. “Only Nightfall Eclipse saw through my ruse. She understood that it was better for me to wait to play this card and pretend to be just another deranged Twilight. I played it up full tilt, creating that stupid story about overdue books just to make you believe that I was like the rest of my silly, stupid sisters. But unlike those ponies I am crafty and cunning… and always have a plan.”
“I hate to break it to you,” Shining said sternly, “but we had you outmatched before and with Chrysalis here you stand no chance.”
“You tell’em, lover,” Chrysalis purred.
“Please stop calling me that,” Shining whined.
‘Twixie’/Queen Sparkling merely chuckled. “Fools… did you believe me so stupid as to come her unprepared. I have been in Mooscow for several weeks… preparing for this moment. I am not outnumbered… you are! NOW MY HIVE!”
Scootaloo let out a scream as the perytons that were sitting around her were suddenly engulfed in flames. Soon the arena took on a green glow as nearly 3/4ths of the perytons that had been watching the Wonderbolts show/wrestling match revealed themselves to be changeling converts. Chrysalis clicked her fangs together in disgust as the rest of the group, along with the remains of Spitfire’s team (who hadn’t been knocked out) Skyburst and Twizio were pushed together towards the center of the arena.
“We are the hive,” Queen Sparkling buzzed as she rose into the air, her magic combining with the Amulet's power. “You will be assimilated.”
~MC~MC~MC~
“Will the group escape? Will Queen Sparkling’s evil plot work? We’ll have to wait to find out, as we are now moving on to our Tag Team Title Bout: The Doctor and Derpy vs. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon!”
~Meanwhile, in Leodon, capital of the Griffin Empire…~
Gilda growled, her taloned arms/forelegs crossed over her chest. She was half lying on a bench, watching as all the noble and polite griffin lords and ladies flew and prowled around her. They were all acting so smug, so perfect… it made her sick.
After her visit to Ponyville had gone sour Gilda had returned to Griffland to lick her wounds and get over the depression of losing Rainbow to a bunch of geeks. Of course, she’d quickly remembered why she had left home in the first place… every grif saw her only as Gilded Beauty, Fuzzy Thinker’s granddaughter and crowned princess of Griffland. Gilda hated how the grifs treated her differently and was always trying to rebel… mostly so they would actually snap at her and stop acting like she was so perfect.
Nothing worked, however. Her last major attempt had seen her team up with Lord Moldywart, leader of the Death Lickers, and attempt to seduce and capture her grandfather’s prized student, Hairy Grabber. She’d been stopped by her Great Aunts Celestia, Luna and Cadence along with her Great Uncle Tydal and some white stallion whose name she didn’t know. They, along with Leodon’s great consulting detective, Sherclaw Hones, had revealed that Moldywart was really Professor Moldwarty and put an end to his schemes. Gilda had expected to get in trouble, only for her grandfather to pat her on the head and say that all was forgiven.
The female griffin huffed as she thought of that. ‘There must be a way to stir up some trouble…’ the rebel thought.
“Hey there.”
Gilda blinked, looking over at the yellow pegasus pony that had trotted up to her. Gilda’s eyes narrowed and she clicked her beak in frustration and rage. “Fluttergeek,” she hissed, grabbing the mare by the throat. “I don’t know-“
CLICK
Gilda froze, looking down at the uzi ‘Fluttershy’ was pressing into her chest.
“Hey Boss!” Kinshy of the Ponyville Saints called out. “Look at what I found!” Gilda gulped as she saw the group of familar yet different mares walk towards her, each armed with guns and looking quite murderous.
"Oh good," Boss Twi said, "another hostage." Gilda's eyes went wide as she watched the Saints bring forth a cage which contained hairless, ape-like Twilight. "Put her in with the schoolgirl," Boss Twi said.
"Oh bugger," Gilda muttered.
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Sometimes I like to play around with structure. There are only so many times you can write battle scenes and it was a real joy to mix things up and try something new with this chapter.
And for those of you complaining that Lunaverse Twilight was out of character... got ya.
Perfect reference to that wonderful Mr. Popo scene.
And, it is a sin to not like "Let it Go", though even that would get old after nonstop listening.
... go Derpy!
I know they're all high in that flashback(except Pinkie), but shouldn't have say hoof. Last I checked this wasn't an anthro/human story.
Well, Lunaverse Twilight turned out to have NOT been working for the League of Evil Twilights, was locked up by a Chrysalis version of Twilight Sparkle who is now about to bring her entire swarm down upon the heroes, and EG!Twilight and Gilda were now captured by the Ponyville Saints, who are starting to become major outside-context villains for EVERYONE.
Do the Saints have a PLAN, though, because if they're taking hostages, they HAVE to have some sort of idea, here.
Oh this is getting good
4078418 I do belive the Saint's plan is to fuck things up for everybody who isn't one of them, causing as much collateral damage and bloodshed as possible in the process.
So you know, basically the plot of every Saint's Row Game ever.
Ah yes, I had forgotten of Pinkie's special ability to spontaneously grow five-digit appendages. Thank you for reminding me, good sir.
Okay, that's much better regarding L'Twilight. (And Hah! to whoever downvoted my comment about it.)
Flannel. Lantern. Corps.
I don't know what's wrong with you, but I'm certain it goes into the double digits.
4078443
You see, their mayhem and murder goals make sense to me. But I'm STILL wanting to know what the hostages are for. I mean, unless Twipool got away, they have at least three Twilights, Boss Twi included. The Saints are Chaotic Neutral on their best days, hence why they're the wild card of this story. The fact that they DIDN'T just shoot Gilda suggests they have a plan, since unless the Saints need you alive, consider you loyal to them, or are planning to torture you, you're probably going to be in a body bag unless you surrender. Every major villain in the Saints Row games who didn't make a fair deal with them or ran away has been killed (the only two major antagonists to avoid this fate are now Saints themselves, Ben King-- who knew when to fold them-- and Matt Miller-- who bribed for his life... I'd say Killbane, but when Earth was blown up, he didn't come back).
That being said, I would like to know if the Saints have a plan to go with their hostages besides "Kill, crush, destroy, swag." That's not really going to help them in the long-run, and since Kinshy is basically Fluttershy with Kinzie's intelligence, Applequeen is Benjamin King-- who built a criminal empire in the first game and knows what he's doing, only losing his spot as the main antagonist of the Vice Kings arc because his lieutenants were disloyal-- and Spike is Pierce Washington, King of complex plans, they have to have SOME kind of plan for kidnapping both Gilda and EG!Twilight.
4078289
Yes... Yes, you did.
Good
4078289 You bastard! Did you even think of the tropers, and how long they'll have to toil over the character sheet because of this? Minutes! That's how long! MINUTES, you sick sociopath!
You did get me, though. I actually thought that the Alternate Universe Threshold of Reality had its way with her for comedic purposes.
Meanwhile...
Fluttershy: So, "Iron Will" is your first name? Then what's your last name?
Iron Will: FLEXINGTON!
I suppose Crystal Empress Amethyst Gleam is going to appear in a few chapters? Or are we getting a Breezie Twilight before then?
I found some things you may want to edit.
I think that should be "sent"
I think that "shot" should be between those two words.
NOOOOOO!!!!!! Something in this story is taken from some other franchise! My faith in humanity is lost! LOST I TELL YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4078289
On a related side note, have you considered using the Twilight from Friendship is Magic: Prime? She's a dark energon zombie...
And that story really deserves more attention.
The Twilight from Loyal2Luna's Twilight from her Mass Effect story would work as well, though she would work better in the Truth or Dare story.
4079013 Would she, now? Ah-haha... ahahaha... MUHAHAHAHAHAAAA!!!
4079043
troll.me/images/victory-baby/yes-and-yes.jpg
Now I actually want Cadence to sing Let It Go on repeat just to see what it would end up as.
4079196
Let me put it this way... when I make one character promise they will sing a song... I mean for them to sing the song later on
I've run out of witty ways to say how funny this fic is
I wonder what the saints are up to... They have to have some reason for doing this, as they don't just do things for no reason (unless you count the player going on a killing spree just cause, which I don't)...
That was funny to read. I love this story.
Based on whats already been written, this seems like a parody of the Tsubasa Resevoir chronicles...except instead of feathers, we have Twilights. For what we have, it really works...though Im sure it creates a headache for you, having to keep track of every Twilight spawned.
Human Twilight. We've been expecting you.
"When I get sad I punch my own tears until they stop leaking out of my eyes!"
that's right Iron Will, real men don't cry,
THEY SWEAT THROUGH THEIR EYES!!
I'm actually REALLY interested in learning more about Skylight, she seems interesting :3
also, if you want another evil twilight try this http://www.fimfiction.net/story/169889/twilight-and-celestia-aka-twilight-horror
I am also really glad, being a lunaverse fan, that had a good explanation for L!Twilight being out of character...though it does seem her introduction still leaves us with some plotholes
I am also interested in maybe doing a story for the Shark Twilight, Princess Aurora and MAYBE Skylight, but of course I'll have to think about those AFTER i clear up some of my other fics, maybe. Not too mention I am notoriously lazy.
I mean this
I hope it's something along the lines of this. Double tapping is fun!
...Of course there's a Chuck Norris Corps.
4086726
Your avatar. That comment.
"Miss Sparkle." I can only imagine Matrix references now.
Of course.
Pinkie Pie is eloquent when high. This makes so much sense.
Fluttershy is Popo when high. Nice.
Apparently.
I, see.
Oh you are good.
Oh dear.
Yep.
5915376 They will all BURN.
Oh god yes, both Chryssie and changeling queen Twilight in the same chapter?! I have the weirdest boner right now.
That TFS joke.
Cya
Raziel-chan
I did not see changeling Twilight coming! Good twist!
Also very interesting to see EQG Twilight show up. Though I was expecting a griffon Twilight.
Well now, I had to change between Fluttershy and Iron will. Two voices on complete opposite ends of my speaking spectrum.
I love this fic