"So...e-explain to me again why we *gulp* have to be out here?"
Agent Coltson glanced down at Spike before turning his attention back to the darkened path. His customary sunglasses were tucked in the pocket of his suit jacket, as it was simply too dark even for his sharp eyes to wear them (and he always wore his sunglasses at night So he can, So he can watch you weave then breathe your story lines) . The gloom of the Everfree Forest hung around the trio as they marched down the path, hiding the dangers that lurked just beyond the edges of the path (dangers that included, but are not limited to spooky trees, possessed pumpkins, ghostly swords… apparently Game Freak was in charge of designing the Everfree’s residences). Occasionally Scootaloo or Spike would flinch when a strange cry pierced the air; Coltson was the only one to remain calm and not look about with wide eyes whenever a twig snapped.
"Because Scootaloo sensed that there was a Twilight out here," Coltson said."
"Right, that explains why you are here," Scootaloo said, "but it doesn't explain why Spike and I are here."
"You two are at the center of this mess and have to clean it up," Coltson said, ducking under a low-hanging branch that just happened to look like a gnarled hand darting out to wrap around their throats and strangle them to death (Scootaloo made a mental note to ask Princess Celestia who the hay thought it was a smart idea to have A CREEPY HAUNTED FOREST IN THE MIDDLE OF EQUESTRIA!).
"But that's not fair!" Spike whined. "I didn't even cause this... I wanted Twilight to not do the experiments! Why am I getting lumped in with Rainbow Bash over here!"
"Hey!" Scootaloo shouted. "That's not... wait... Rainbow Bash, huh? That's kinda cool." Scootaloo pulled a notebook out (don't ask where she was hiding it) and muttered, "change... name... to... Rainbow... Bash."
"Spike, we all have things we don't want to do," Coltson said, stopping at a fork in the road. "Scootaloo?"
"Uh... I am getting the feeling that we should... hmmm... turn around and go home to a nice safe beds?" She gave him a weak smile but the agent wasn't having any of it. "Fine! The left path!"
"Thank you," Coltson said, heading down said path, the two youngsters following after him. "I suggest you both work with me on this... the sooner we are done the sooner we can go on a more dangerous mission." He turned towards them and, seeing their scowls, coughed. "That... that was a joke... ok, not in a laughing mood."
"Of course we aren't!" Spike complained, kicking as some leaves that had fallen onto the path. "We are walking through a bewitched forest that is full on big scary monsters that would love to gobble up ponies and baby dragons!"
Coltson looked at the two and smiled. "Come on now, there is no need to be scared. It’s just a dark, spooky forest full of vicious carnivores that was also home to Nightmare Moon."
"...so if we turn around and run really fast we should make it back to Ponyville before supper," Scootaloo said.
Coltson stopped walking, gesturing at the trees all around them. "Buck up... do you know what I do when I am scared?"
"Run away to someplace safe?" Spike asked.
"I sing!"
"Please... no..." Scootaloo whimpered.
Coltson
Sometimes life is scary
And situations are quiet hairy
You feel as if you are caught in an evil curse
When you’re caught in the thistle
Don't start crying... give a whistle!
And things will be sure to work out for the best
And...
Always look on the bright side of life!
(Whistles)
Always look on the bright side of life!
(Whistles)
When something gives you a fright
Don't be scared of the night!
Just open your mouth a bit and begin to sing!
When shadows make you stumble
It does no good to bumble
Just purse your lips and whistle, that's the thing!
Always look on the bright side of life!
(Whistles)
Always look on the bright side of life!
(Whistle)
I know this seems absurd
But please take my word
There is nothing out here you need to fear
Forget about your frights
Or the clear lack of lights
We are as safe as safe can be!
Coltson opened his mouth to sing more, only for a terrible roar to fill the air. Scootaloo and Spike hugged each other in fright... before remembering about the dreaded scourge that was 'cooties' (remember, the only way to know if you have cooties is to get tested!). Coltson spun about, his body tense, but when nothing appeared he gave a shaky laugh. The two whipped around, marching towards the agent, eyes narrowed as they glared at him.
Scootaloo
Always look on the bright side of death!
(Spike tries to whistle and fails)
Just before you draw your terminal breath!
(Spike tries again then just gives up)
Spike
This might be our end
and when we need a friend
We just have this crazy singing fool!
Coltson
Chase your fears away with a laguh!
Scootaloo
Dear Celestia, you're a sap!
Spike
I hope the first one eaten is you!
All (singing over each other)
Always look on the bright side of life/death!
(All whistling, save Spike who can't)
Always look the bright... side of life/death!
(Spike looks around wondering why he can’t whistle)
Coltson began a softshoe routine, hoping that his dance number would convince them he was right. Scootaloo, not to be outdone, pulled a top hat and a cane (hidden by Pinkie Pie in case of ‘Put’n on the Ritz’ emergencies) and went into an elaborate tap dance routine.
Coltson (does a little jitter dance move)
Always look on the bright side of life!
Scootaloo (Does a complex tap and spin)
Always look on the bright side of death!
Spike (does a disco move)
Always look on… uh… I can’t tap dance, either
Coltson and Scootaloo
Always look on the Always look on the bright side of life/death
bright side of life/death
Life is quite absurd
And death’s the final word
You must always face the curtain with a bow
Spike tilted his head as Derpy walked onto the path, dragging a wagon with a shrubbery in it. “Uh, Derpy what are you-“
“No time to talk, I have to get this to the Knights Who Say Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z'nourrwringmm!”
“…uh, ok… bye Derpy!”
All
Always look on the bright side of life/death
Always look on the bright…side of life/death
Side of life/death
Side of life/death!
"See, don't you feel better?"
"No!" Scootaloo screamed. "I don't feel better! You know what I feel? I feel... I feel..." Scootaloo whipped around, tugging on a branch and ripping it away to reveal a huddled form beside the road. Coltson instantly was on the offensive while Spike seized up in terror. "-like we are being watched!"
"Please lower every hoof and arm... I tell you now, I mean you no harm." The bundled figure shifted forward, her tiny voice nearly swallowed up by the folds of her robe. It was hard to tell just how big she was, as her hooded cloak was much too bulky and hid her form. They could only make out the tip of her muzzle, which was a blackish purple . "I ask you this, my small orange dear... what brought you forth and why are you here?"
Spike eyed the strange creature carefully. "What are you doing here?"
"Your disillusions this will not burst, I shan't answer... I asked first."
"She has a point," Scootaloo stated. “A poorly worded point, I admit, but a point nonetheless.”
Agent Coltson eyed the rhyming figure carefully. "Intel says that a zebra lives in these woods."
'That she does, tis no joke, but I am not her, simple pony folk."
"I'm not simple!" Scootaloo complained. "I'm complex!"
"Like a sheet of blank paper," Spike joked, earning a glare from the filly.
"We are looking for somepony that just arrived here," Coltson said, deciding that they could use some local help in their search."
"We're looking for a pony about this tall," Spike held up his hand as high as it could go, "purple coat, likes to read a lot instead of having fun and letting me party till 4 in the morning..."
"Hmmm, no pony like this I've seen in a week. But perhaps it is Twicora that you seek." The stranger nodded to herself and began to run along the path, calling for the others to hurry up (only, you know, in rhyming form).
"Is this smart?" Spike asked. "It doesn't feel smart."
"How could it not be smart to follow a strangely dressed creature we know nothing about through a dark enchanted forest?" When Scootaloo and Spike looked at him oddly once more Coltson sighed. "Once more, it is a-"
"RRRRRAWWWWWRRRRR!"
"Was... was that either of you?" Scootaloo said nervously, earning twin headshakes from her companions. "Yeah, I thought soooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" The filly screamed as she was snatched up, her eyes going wide as the massive manticore that had pounced lifted her up in the air, his clawed paws holding her squirming body in place just above his gaping jaw. "No! No please don't eat me! I'm way too fatty and I will go straight to your hips."
"Rawr?" The manticore looked down at his rump then began to growl, flicking his head about.
"Of course I don't mean you are fat! I am just saying that you could get fat eating me!"
"Rawr rawr rawr!"
"Well yes, stick-thin ponies don't look good either but you don't want to be a bloated tub of fat."
"Rawr rawr!"
"I am not promoting a bad body image! If anything I am promoting good physical health!" Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "I swear, it is apologist like you that have led Equestria into having an obesity problem."
"Rawr rawr?"
Scootaloo shrugged. "Well, not to get too egotistical but I do think my body type is pretty good. I mean, I am physical and don't have much fat on my... aw crap."
"Rawr!" The manticore cheered in delight, thrilled he had caught the pegasus filly in a lie. He opened his mouth to gobble her up once more, saliva dripping from his fangs...
WHAP! WHAP WHAP WHAP!
The manticore stumbled a bit, Scootaloo falling on top of Coltson with an ompf. The three travelers watched as their guide leapt onto the manticore's back and struck him again on the forehead with a heavy oak staff. Her bigger, bulkier robes had been tossed aside, leaving her dressed in a much smaller cloak that let them see more of her frame.
Now visible to them, Scootaloo was surprised to find that the stranger was roughly the size of a standard Ponyville mare. Her purple tail, which was braided with bits of bark interwoven throughout the design, flicked out and caught her oak staff, which she slammed against the manticore's ear before tossing it back towards her mouth. Though it was hard to see her legs, due to her constant movement, the three of them could tell that blackish-purple stripes ran along her lighter purple legs. Her robe was held to her frame by a hemp belt, upon which hung all manner of strange gourds and bottles.
"Yah!" the strange cried out, hitting the manticore one more time on the snout. The hybrid let out a whimper and quickly returned back into the safety of the shadows, thinking to himself that it would be better to leave travelers alone from now on (better just to go to McDonalds and get a McPony with fries).
"T-thank you," Scootaloo said, stepping forward. "You... you saved my life."
"I saw you in trouble and this I knew: if I were in trouble, the same you would do. Now answer me this and be truthful, you see..." the stranger threw off her hood, "...what is it you want with me."
"TWILIGHT!" Spike and Scootaloo exclaimed in shock, staring at striped unicorn.
~MC~MC~MC~
"I ask that you forgive me please,” the stranger (who they now knew as Twicora) said. "It has been some time since I spoke Ponese."
"Ponese?" Scootaloo asked.
"What we are speaking right now," Spike said with a chest filled with pride; he was secretly thrilled that he was, for once, the holder of knowledge. "Most species speak the same language but each have different accents and structures. Griffish is more posh and formal, Caprish sounds like a blend of Griffish and Ponese with more growls and more curse words, and Zebess..." Spike rolled his hand around. “Rhyme. Though, I don’t know why this Twilight speaks it.”
"If you were from my world I’d say duh, for all know my father is the ambassador of Zebrica," Twicora said slowly. "To their culture I took too like many strays, and I adopted their wonderful life ways.”
“Wow, these are really clunky,” Spike said.
Twicora glared at him. “Through strange it be, don't be a cur... speaking in rhyme is now second na-ture." Twicore nodded to herself, ignoring the looks the others were sharing, wondering just how ‘second na-tured’ it was. "In times of good and times of strife, I've been around zebras all my life. To me you ponies are a might strange creature, especially with all I was taught by my teacher."
"Your teacher... I am assuming she isn't Princess Celestia," Spike said.
"It was that Zecora lady, wasn't it?" Scootaloo asked. When the others stared at her she shrugged. "What? She's the only zebra I know."
"That is a racist as the sky is blue... but I have to admit you are quite true." Scootaloo beamed in pleasure as Twicora turned her attention back to the fire. "A tug I felt that pulled me here, away from all that I hold dear."
"Don't worry, Miss Twicora," Coltson said. "We are working on a way to get you home."
"Though it might take a while," Spike said, leveling a cool stare at Scootaloo.
"What?" The filly said in confusion.
"I thought you were supposed to be some magical Twilight-finder... and yet we had one standing right next to you and you didn't even notice? Lame."
Scootaloo's brow furrowed. "That... wait..." She shut her eyes, murmuring to herself. "That... that isn't right." Her eyes shot open. "You aren't the Twilight I sensed!"
"But I must surely be, for your magical gift led you to me!"
Scootaloo shook her head violently, her mane flopping about. "No no no! I sense you right now, of course, but I also sense the presence from before, a presence-“
“You haven’t felt since you were a padawan?” Spike said excitedly.
“Uh…no.” Spike pouted as Scootaloo stared off into the shadows. “I feel the presence of the one that brought us to the Everfree-"
A ghastly screech, like banshees raking their nails on a chalk board while strangling a cat that was playing a kazoo filled the air.
"What was that?" Spike exclaimed.
"It sounds like Diamond Tiara trying to sing a showtune," Scootaloo said. When the others stared at her in confusion she shrugged. "Just... trust me on that one."
Twicora leapt up, her oak staff levitated in front of her by her magic. Her eyes rolled back in her head as she began to grab bottles from her cloak and spill the contents onto the wooden staff. "Fear not, good folks, it will not come near; I have something it should fear. Juice of mushroom and hair of cat, worms from deadwood and breath of bat! Listen now as I say this verse, lest you be caught in my terrible curse. Be you squirrel, bird or bass, I say this now-" Twicora slammed her staff against the ground, a ring of magic flaring up and lighting up the clearing they were in, "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"
A twisting shadow lashed out at the barrier of energy, hissing in fury before darting away. Coltson lowered his potato gun (pies were only used in times of war) while Spike and Scootaloo peered into the darkness, wondering if the black terror would return.
"What... was that," Spike finally whispered.
Scootaloo gulped. "That would be the Twilight I sensed."
"Of course it was," Coltson mumbled.
I will admit that this chapter was a hard one to crack. I needed to get Twicora's backstory (dad is ambassador to Zebrica, young Twilight is trained by Zecora in the zebra ways, never gets her cutie mark so instead she paints herself with stripes so mimic her teacher) without getting too... wordy.
I finally broke it today when i hit upon the idea of having Coltson sing a song to them.
As always, reviews are highly welcomed!
Corey Hart reference!
aw yeah!
First off, some minor errors,
1. Scootaloo and Spiike hugged each other in fright..., One I not two.
2. To their culture I too too like many strays, Again one not two.
3. Twicore said slowly. "To their culture I too too like many strays, and I adopted their wonderful life ways.”, Ends in an A not E.
Secondly I enjoyed seeing this Twilight and how different she is learning from Zecora.
I mean you now harm --> no
The buddled figure --> huddled
I am promoting good physical heal! --> health
McPony with fires --> fries
To their culture I too too like --> took to
I think that came out wrong. How did that not get caught in any prereading?
oh crap . You didn't tell us he's related to Pinkie!
I have never seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail, yet I recognized the reference. I guess I've been on the internet too much...
You just love your memes dontchya?
Monty Python reference(s) ftw.
Great chapter. Twicora is pretty cheesey, but I assume that was the idea. Can't wait for more.
If the twilight are ones you are pulling out of different stories can you tell us in a post or something which story they come from? Please
Did Scootaloo also open a portal to the referenceverse or something like that?
3311211 It looks like it... But when you're reading something with crossovers between versions of Twilight Sparkle, you gotta expect some shout-outs to other things, too.
I have but one thing to say to that (skip to the 'you shall not pass' part)
3311120
He was quoting an '80s pop song called "Sunglasses at Night" 'r somethin'...
I forget who by, though.
"If anything I am promoting good physical heal!"
Health
Would you want a pre-reader/editor? I usually have time for that kind of thing
He should upgrade that to a potato Cannon. Those things have a bit more weight to them.
Seriously, I freaking love this story... TAKE ALL OF MY YES!!!
woo!
3311120
You have never heard the song 'Sunglasses at Night', have you?
3311210
If they come from another story, I will let you know in my notes
3311370
Thanks but I am good. This chapter was a rush to get posted as I thought I lost a bunch, began rewriting, then found the lost file... it caused some issues.
3311584 makes sense, I've done that with things as well. Can't wait to see how this turns out, I liked the Twicora idea
3311595
The goal with each Twilight is to make them a legitimate character who could be in their own fic.
3311624 excluding, of course, previously existing Twilights from other fics and such. I think with Twiley and Twicora you've pretty much got that down; I've noticed that when it comes to introducing characters, you do a really good job of giving them their own personal story, even if that character never comes to have much relevance (like Plot Dump, for example). I think with Twiley and Twicora, someone could read this and then already have a fic written out for them, so you've definitely succeeded in that regard
3311240 When I read that part I remembered Pewds' own reenactment exactly!
Now we have Zebra Twilight and I'm assuming evil Twilight. Quite intresting, and I think I can safely predict that evil Twilight will be the last one to catch because it's always the evil copy/clone/whatever that always causes the most trouble.
No mention of two Star Wars references from our commenters?.
3312233 Nope. Mind telling us what we missed?
Great
I wager that the next Twilight is the one from "The Monster in the Twilight".
3312251
It's almost identical to the meeting of Yoda and Luke in "The Empire Strikes Back."
Vader said something similar when he felt that Obi-Wan was on the Death Star in "Star Wars."
NIIICE SONG.
I am oddly intrested in the Twicora. If you plan nothing with her i might try something if you don't mind... After SiS is done of course . i already have far too much to do.
Thanks a LOT, defender. Now I won't be able to fully enjoy "Agents of SHIELD" until they have an episode where Clark Gregg sings Monty Python tunes.
On a less sarcastic note, Twicora's pretty awesome, fending off her suped-up evil doppelganger like that.
And I apologize, but this popped into my head.
Eclipseverse!Rainbow Dash: Hey, you're the Twilight who was taught by Zecora in your world? No kidding! I'm her apprentice in mine.
Twicora: To know that there are others like me brings joy to my heart! Did you just start?
E!RD: Uh... no, I've been training with her since I got my cutie mark. Why?
Twicora: Oh, I just thought that you must not have learned from her for very long, because you haven't been speaking in song.
E!RD: What does that have to do with anything? I can rhyme just fine when I need to concentrate! Doesn't mean I need to every time I open my mouth!
Twicora: Peace, my friend, I just wanted to be sure you didn't think it was all just hocus-pocus. My own Rainbow isn't exactly a paragon of focus.
E!RD: *glares* Oh, you don't think I take it seriously? I'll prove you wrong in ten seconds flat, you'll see!
Twicora: Given that you're just as hot-headed as the one I know, what skill is it that you intend to show?
E!RD: I'll prove my mad skills and stop your condescending prattle in the traditional Zebrican art of RAP BATTLE!
3311237 Well, but of course. I didn't expect less of this. But he chose the path of EXTREME REFERENCING 9001
http://www.fimfiction.net/story/65364/i-wasnt-prepared-for-this
You should ask if you could put these Twilight into your story. Eos could score a solid 9 on the helpful scala (from 0 to 10).
I found a couple of things you may want to edit.
That should be "laugh".
And I'm pretty sure that should be "apologists". I look forward to the next chapter.
derpicdn.net/img/2013/7/17/376854/thumb.png
Use this Twilight!!!
Monty Python! Monty Python everywhere! I coulden't help but sing along (for once)... but it was a bit weird because I was listening to Bleed it out...
And derpy! There is a great word of power, you have to use it against them... Ah I said it! GAH I said it again! And there it goes again! (etc. etc.).
3311629
How so? Existing Twilights are still Fic-worthy Twilights, that's why they have fics.
3311584 no...
wait it was a song reference?
3313209 what's that scouter say about the referencing level?
It's over nine thousaaaaaaand!
3325676 Scooter* :P
3324072 I may have worded that confusingly, but my point was that obviously he wouldn't need to invent any backstory for those twilights, because, of course, they would already exist
That was a nice rhyme leading up to the first line of this rap battle
Sorry I'm late. This chapter was, like, geek heaven or something. Anyway, high points:
1. I just realized that two of my favorite fictional characters of all time (Spike and Agent Coulson) are in the same narrative together...sort of.
2. Spike can't whistle. I can't whistle either.
3. My friend likes Phil Coulson about as much as the next Marvel fan. He also loves that Monty Python song. I think he'll enjoy this chapter.
We are the nights that say ni and we want a shrubbery!!
3402843
Equestria has tanks that shoot watermelons?
3311028 so... Twicora is in the pony version of black face?
I have to say, Twicora is made of win, she quotes Gandalf and delivers an epic speech. Short, but still.
Twicora rocks! And is that Sombra!Twilight?
So, Monry Python references and Lord of the Ring epic speeches?
Things in this fic just became twenty percent more cool
Not helping.
Please don't.
Of course.
LaUGh.
Er...
Wonder who this is.
OUCH!
Striped unicorn, rhymes like Zecora, hm...
Cool.
TwicorA.
Goddammit Nappa.
No, comment...
Awesome!
I know how he feels.