Not the Fleur you expected
Scootaloo was sure she was dying.
She was sure of this because life was flashing rapidly before her wide eyes and she'd always heard that such a thing happened right before you died.
Except... it wasn't exactly her life that was flashing by...
"Well then, little sister," a younger Tydal said, lifting Scootaloo up and placing her on his back, "since you saw fit to devour that cake I think we should work on getting all that frosting out of your mane." Scootaloo looked down and giggled as she began to mush cake into Tydal's coat. "And I guess I'll be needing a bath as well."
"We are not happy with thee, Discord, and with our sister we shall retake those you have stolen from us!" Scootaloo proclaimed, flaring out her midnight blue wings. She glared at the chaos god as he calmly snatching a cloud from the sky and ate it like it was a hamburger.
"The night shall last forever!" Nightmare Scootaloo exclaimed, cackling as her ethereal mane billowed about her.
"We're whalers on the moon! We carry a harpoon!" she sang.
Nightmare Scootaloo screamed as the Elements of Harmony fired their Rainbow Blast (patent pending) at her. "Noooooo!"
"It so isn't creepy to watch fillies and colts sleep and then enter their dreams!" Scootaloo complained to a smirking Celestia. "Better than you kidnapping them and forcing them to living in your castle!"
"I have a daughter?" Scootaloo asked her sister and brother/father, giggling in delight. "Oh, this will be wonderful! We’ll paint each other’s hooves, and we’ll go shopping, and we’ll bond over our monthly bleeding cycles! "
"I'm sure if you look carefully you will see that the VCR is, in fact, on this receipt," Scootaloo complained to the Best Buy salespony who was giving her a hard time.
"Whoa," Scootaloo said as the visions stopped. "That was... ugh..." the filly's head dipped a little as she struggled against her queasy tummy.
"Oh good, you're back," Luna said, tossing away the magazine she was reading (Entertainment Weekly; there had been an interesting cover story about 'Two and a Half Stallions' and if it could still be funny with the departure of Charlie Horse; the answer was 'it had never been funny in the first place') and focusing on Scootaloo. "So, what did you think of my memories? I so bought that VCR, I don't care what they think!"
"Those were your memories?" Scootaloo muttered, still a bit dizzy. The filly looked around and pouted when she saw that yes, she was still inside the jaeger.
"Of course," Luna said, rolling her eyes. "That's how a jaeger works! We have to share minds and memories to get it to work, so that we can operate it as one. You saw my memories and I saw yours."
"Oh..." Scootaloo frowned. "I don't think I like you know everything about me."
"Please, it was nothing exciting."
"Excuse me?" Scootaloo complained.
Luna shrugged. "It was rather bland, actually. Cup of oat, cup of oats, almost got a cutie mark. Cup of oats, cup of oats, almost got a cutie mark."
"I... I've done a ton more exciting things than that!" Scootaloo complained.
"Trust me, you haven't."
"What about the time I defeated Queen Chrysalis with the power of love?" Scootaloo asked.
"... that was Princess Cadence," Luna reminded her.
"I think I know my own life, Princess," Scootaloo complained, crossing her forelegs over her chest and letting out a huff.
"Uh, excuse me!" Tydal called out, his massive fist tapping on Apollo Fury's head (that being the name of Luna's jaeger, in case you missed the last chapter... come to think of it though, this fic might make more sense if you did skip around and read parts at random). "I don't mean to interrupt whatever little gabfest you have going on in there about bonbons and stickers and whatever else females discuss, but could you possibly see fit to actually help us defeat to two giant Twilights that are rampaging through Trotyo?" He gave them a cold glare. "That would be, as you youngsters say, awesome."
"Oh, right," Luna said, marching in place. Scootaloo found herself doing the same, the harness she was in letting out mechanical whirrs as she did so. Apollo Fury began marching forward to Twizilla, the jaeger's fist cracking as he prepared to attack. Tydal had joined back with Twilimus and Sparkle-san in fighting off the bland yet effective battle tactics of Twilight Twilight. Twipool, for her part, was firing at anything that moved while attempting to do her taxes at the same time.
"Ok," Spike said, grabbing onto a mailbox as the ground shook once more under the pounding of the massive feet that were trying to cram themselves upon any flat surface they could find, "I vote we run away and don't stop until things make sense again."
"Everything is making sense to me!" Cadence said happily, watching the battling giants with utter delight. "Yeah! Rip her heart out!"
"Not exactly disproving my point, Princess," Spike grumped.
"Come on, we need to help them!" Twiley exclaimed, bouncing up in down. The spandex uniform Luna had given her was draped across her back and the filly couldn't wait to try it on and go fight giant monsters. "CUTIE MARK GIANT SLAYERS!"
"I think we should use a variation of Spike's plan," Shining Armor said. "I think we should run till we are safe and then we can come up with a game plan that will help us defeat those other Twilights. It makes no sense to just rush in without a plan or-"
"Morphy time!" Baby Twilight proclaimed, thrusting out the strange red, black, and gold device Luna had left with the spandex outfit.
"Morph what now?" SPike managed to say before he found himself forced to thrust out his own morpher. "What the-" he began, only to realize the others were also holding out their morphers. "Oh crud."
"Yeah!" Twiley squealed in glee. "Mastodon!"
"Pterodactyl?" Spike said in confusion.
"Triceratops..." Shining mumbled.
"Saber-tooth Tiger," Cadence squealed.
"Ty-wan-saur!" Baby Twilight declared. There was a burst of energy and the five found themselves dressed head-to-toe/hoof in the Sentai spandex. Baby Twilight giggled, her helmet a bit too heavy for her, causing the infant to fall to her side. "Huh?" the foal said, her little legs kicking as she tried to right herself.
"Ok, this is just getting weird," Shining complained as he lifted the foal up and got her straight.
"Why am I..." Spike fingered his pink spandex outfit, tugging at the short skirt he was now wearing. "Oh come on!"
"Spike is a girl, Spike is a girl!" Twiley chanted.
"Spike is a girl, Spike is a girl!" Cadence sang, joining in.
"Can we focus on the baby dragon's cross-dressing later?" Shining complained. "We still need to deal with the battle happening a block away from us!"
At that moment Twilight Twilight managed to slug Tydal, sending the sea god crashing down nearly on top of the Super Sentai-ed ponies. The capricorn blinked in confusion. "Spike... are you wearing a dress?"
"Skirt," Spike grumbled.
"...Spike is a girl, Spike is a girl," Tydal sang before standing back up and charging the vampire pony that'd sucker-punched him.
"Ok, everypony, we need to take the battle to them!" Cadence declared. "Let's call our zords!" Cadence thrust her hoof up, waiting for the arrival of the robotic dinosaurs that would come to their aid.
...
...
"Any time now," Cadence said.
~Meanwhile, in the center of the earth...~
Bzzzzz.... Bzzzz...
"Dude, I think your pager is going off," the Mastodon zord said from his spot on the couch.
"Damn, they're trying to call us into work," the saber-tooth tiger zord complained.
"(censored) that!" the pterodactyl complained. "Way too cold to go to work! Besides, T-rex found a marathon of Game of Thrones on cable!"
~MC~MC~MC~
"I don't think they are coming," Twiley said.
"They have to come!" Cadence exclaimed. "How else are we suppose to fight without zords?"
"Ba!" Baby Twilight exclaimed. Her little rump wiggled and the group leapt back as the chaos foal rapidly began to enlarge till she was 50 feet tall. "Ba ba ba!"
"Everypony, onto the baby's back! We can ride her into battle against the vampire and the dragon as we assist our moon goddess and the giant capricorn!" Cadence shouted, snatching Twiley and flying up onto Baby Twilight. "And yes, that is as ridiculous as it sounds... BUT THIS... IS... TROTYO!"
"Are we seriously doing this?" Spike complained.
"I guess so," Shining said. He tossed Spike onto his back and began to climb up Baby Twilight's tail. "Close your legs otherwise people will see up your skirt."
"eep!"
"Ba ba baba ba ba!" Baby Twilight sang as she stumbled across Trotyo, her little hooves kicking and thrashing as she toddled over towards the fighters. Twizilla swung around, inhaling as she prepared for let loose another atomic blast, only for the foal to grab her snout and clamp it close. Twizilla's eyes went wide as the fire found no place to go; steam shot out of her ears and her arms pinwheeled before she finally toppled to the street below.
Twipool let out a laugh as she leapt off the fallen dragon. “Ha, as if you five rangers can stop me!”
“What about me then!” Wall Breaker proclaimed, stepping out of the sushi place he’d been waiting in. “Don’t you know, silly bad guy… there is always a 6th ranger! Dragonzord!”
“…ok, I give up,” Shining complained as the royal guard turned into the Green Ranger.
Wall Breaker leapt into the air and, in a serious of moves that were clearly done by him and not by a stunt double, landed next to Twipool. “Gum Gum Pistol!”
“Wait, that has nothing to-Yikes!" Twipool shouted as she was struck. She flew off the building , scrambling as she tried to find something to grab onto. After a moment her hooves connected with something solid and, with a sigh of relief she clung to the metal.
Metal that happened to be Twilimus' Horn Cannon.
"Aw hamburgers," she said just before the Ponybot fired her payload all over her (which is really not as naughty as it sounds), sending the assassin flying through the sky.
"Can we say it, can we say it?"
'I guess so'
"Team Twipool is blasting off again!"
"Stand still you sparkling little..." Luna snarled, trying to get Apollo Fury to grab onto Twilight Twilight. The vamppony continued to elude her... what's worse, she was giving brooding monologues as she did so.
"Yes, I stand still, just like time stands still for me. My life is but an empty continuum filled with moments that slip by like the grains in a well worn hourglass one might find in their dead parents attic, gathering cobwebs and dust as a testament to the time that has gone by, passing them and drawing them and you and all closer to the grave that awaits all but me due to the curse that sits upon my weary head that desires only rest and-"
"Ok, enough of this!" Scootaloo shouted in frustration. "Cutie Mark Punch!"
"Cutie-wha?" Luna managed to say before Apollo Fury's fist caught on fire and Scootaloo launched it at the vamppony.
キューティーマークパンチ：千イライラナイルフィリーズのストライク！
'Cutie Mark Punch: The Strike of a Thousand Annoyed Fillies!'
Tydal's tentacles nudged the twitching form that had been Twilight Twilight. "Welp, that ones down and out for the count." He rolled his shoulders and like the tide the water rolled out to sea. The capricorn's black stone bones slowly disappeared as his flesh regrew, leaving him looking 100% normal again. "Alright, the rest of you slackers can come down now! I saved the day!"
"Seriously?" Shining complained as Baby Twilight shrank back down to normal cute size (in fact, she might have purposely shrank herself down a touch smaller so she could look even more sweet and innocent). "The robots did all the work!"
"That's not how I remember it," Tydal said simply.
"It happened 30 seconds ago," Shining complained.
Cadence happily popped off her helmet and hugged the capricorn. "Uncle Tydal, you were amazing! Thank you so much for saving us all!"
"Cadence! He didn't save-"
"Remember when I threw you the star saber at just the right time so you could take out those ninjas?" Twiley asked with a grin.
"Indeed I do, little one," Tydal said solemnly. "Without it, I would not have been able to defeat Frieza."
"This... you... I give up." Shining dropped his head and sighed.
Spike pulled off his helmet and tossed it to a bemused Sparkle-San. "Yeah, I'm finding that a better option more and more."
~MC~MC~MC~
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
'Why are you screaming? We hit the ground 20 minutes ago and are perfectly fine."
"Maybe she just likes screaming."
Twipool rolled onto her back and stared up at the brilliant blue sky and fluffy white clouds that floated past. Except for ending up in the park via a robot canon, it was actually pretty peaceful and nice... a wonderful place for one to lay back and contemplate the deep mysteries of the world.
"Ok, if I don't kill something I'm gonna scream!" Twipool complained.
'You already screamed.'
"Exactly!'
The assassin was ready to stand up and begin administering some violent justice, only to find herself no longer alone. A swirling blue vortex appeared and, with a ba-pop, spit out a new Twilight onto the grass. "Oh goody!" Twipool said, pulling out her semi-automatic. "A free target-"
The next Twilight pulled out a rocket launcher and aimed it right at the red-clad assassin's head.
"-and once we find said target we both can have some fun?" she asked weakly.
"(censored) me, a gimp," the new Twilight complained. Her accent was a bit rougher than the original Twilight; not quite a Neigh Jersey accent but close. She stood up and Twipool took a moment to examine the newest doppelganger, taking in the many differences. This Twilight had the same mane and tail cut as most Twilights (including Twipool) but was dressed in a black suit with a tie. Said suit must have been made by Hammerspace, INC, as the new Twilight was able to pull or put whatever weapon she wanted in the pockets of the jacket. To top everything off, this Twilight did not have the normal starburst other Twilights had; instead, her cutie mark was an almost black fleur. "Kinshy, you there?"
"Right here, boss," a voice called out to the new Twilight.
"What the (censored) happened? This another plot by the Zin?"
"I don't think so boss... I can barely get a bead on you! Its like you aren't even in our universe anymore. What do you see?"
"A gimp," the Boss stated. "Kinshy, can you and the rest of the crew follow me?"
"Already working on it... we should be through in 3... 2... 1..."
The Boss looked around, ignoring Twipool. "Not seeing ya."
"Yeah, sorry about that... thought it would be more dramatic with a countdown."
"Kinshy."
"Kidding, kidding. We're beaming down to you right now."
"I hate to break it to ya," Twipool said, "but you are the only one that can come... kinda the-"
The blue vortex reopened and Twipool's eyes widened as fire more ponies emerged from the portal. The first, Kinshy, resembled Fluttershy except her long mane was in a ponytail and she wore a pair of glasses. Next was Rainbow Dash; her mane was slicked straight up and she wore a pair of sunglasses and had a set of nasty looking knives strapped to her forelegs.
"Alright, who do we kill first," Rainbow said.
"Leave it to Rainbow Gat to kill first and ask questions later," the next pony, an Applejack doppelganger, said. She was wearing a finely tailored suit, but instead of a tie she had a scarf draped over her neck.
"Aw, come on Applequeen," 'Pinkie Pie' squealed, bursting from the portal, "you love killing as much as the rest of us!" This Pinkie was the same any other Pinkie, save for the fact that she was wearing a giant mask/helmet that was strangely shaped like her own head.
"Now this place is pretty sweet, Prof. Pinkzi!" Spike Washington said, adjusting his fedora.
"Sweet nothing! I swear, if my outfit isn't fashionable here I am going to shoot some stallion in the junk," Rareti complained, her tight leather jacket clinging to her form.
“Well, don’t worry, Rare,” Boss Twilight said with a decidedly wicked smirk, “once we figure out who brought us here… we’ll have plenty of targets to take out our aggressions on.”
"...well, this is either going to go really good or really bad,” Twipool said nervously. “Uh, hi… fellow psychopath here-“
“I’m more of a puckish rogue,” Boss Twi stated.
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First off, make sure to read the Spin-off to the story: Crisis of Infinite Twilights: Truth, Dare or Drink: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/164542/crisis-of-infinite-twilights-truth-dare-or-drink
Just when you though you understood this fic and could keep track of the good and bad characters... a third group arises...
Ladies and Gentlemen... the Ponyville Saints!
The Boss- The current leader of the Saints after killing the founder, Orange Julius (who sounds NOTHING like Tydal, despite what anyone might think), the Boss has made the Saints a true threat to the world and marches them towards total global domination.
Kinshy- A bookish hacker who use to work for Celestia, Kinshy joined up with the Saints and is now their go-to tech mare... and also just as homicidal as the rest.
Rainbow Gat- One of the most dangerous mares in the entire world, feared by all. She's also the Boss' most trusted friend.
Apple (censored) Queen- A former rival of the boss who led the Apple Gang, Applequeen is now an advisor to The Boss
Prof Pinkzi- Some say she's insane. Others a genius. All we know is that she loves setting up murder parties were contestants fight each other to see who is the best killer.
Spike Washington- Spokesmen for the Saints. Also a target for much hazzing among the Saints.
Rareti- Originally she was a dreadlocked druggie who slept around town... but thanks to the Boss she is now a glammed up mare who happily murders ponies. We're not sure which version was better.
3917807 I like Apple (censored) Queen's name the most.
SO MUCH TWI, SO LITTLE TIME!!!!!
3917915
This is my love letter to the insanity that is anime. Don't worry, things calm down a bit next chapter
3917921 thats good, i though you had lost your mind a long time ago
I thought this was called the “Ponpan arc” am I wrong?
Wow. All the elements have a copy now. This is going to go crazy as Scoolatloo faces the mafia.
Another great chapter.
3917807
Really, this is starting make me worry about you..... ah crap, I just gave you an idea for a "Nostalgia Sparkle" and a "Twikara" Twilight, didn't I?
Never mind then, keep the insanity coming.
3917921 Calm down? Did you play Saint's Row 4? They have a Dubstep Gun for god's sake, their is no slow down
3917921 Anime is god. 'Nough said.
Loved the Power Ranger reference! Such a show from my childhood though again Spike is the eternal Butt Monkey as he's Pink! Wall Breaker makes so much sense in all this insanity (lost most of this story and characters when this arc began). Also can't wait to see how the Ponyville Saints works into this already insane story.
I second twipool this is ether really good or really bad.
Also you should add twilight from Into the Black. A half deomon space marine that kicks a lot of ass. Of corse you will need The arthors permission.
3917931 I take it you watched the dubbed version rather than the subbed version?
Power Rangers music links? Oh yeah! Nostalgia to the max!
Now that Saint's Row Twilight is in the mix and brought her crew, there's only one way to save the world. Set up as many strip clubs as possible in her path and pray it slows them down!
I feel strangely infatuated...
3918149 You want to talk pink rangers? I'll show you some pink rangers.
morphinlegacy.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/963695255410.jpg
Yes, that actually happened. No, that scene will not be coming over to the U.S.
3918200 I second the notion! Into the Black was awesome. And I contributed a character, so that helps.
Say, didn't Scoots like, destroy an evil overlord? or was that one of her 'origins'?
I just realized that I want to see this Twilight in here, just to see her reaction to all this madness.
Godzilla, Magical Girl animes, Yu-Gi-Oh, Inuyasha, Transformers, Deadpool, Power Rangers, and now Saint's Row?! My mind can't take much more of this
.
3918594
Along with at least half of the Gokaiger footage due to Saban deciding to chop Goseiger and Gokaiger in half and stick them together.
Though it maybe interesting to see how they'll explain going from angelic powers and magical cards...to pirates.
Bro! Glad to see The Saints getting some love! And sweet little photoshop work there at the end.
3918697 It wasn't Bandai who did that, they just make the toys. It was Saban that spliced then together (really disappointing, since Gokaiger is PURE Awesome and I wanted to see Goren GokaiOh in english too
)
3918745
Whoops. Thanks for reminding me of that
3917807
...YES just YES!!
I have only one question. Did they bring the Dubstep Gun?
Also, Spike is a girl, Spike is a girl!
no bloody way how bye all that is holy and unholy how did you do that i already thought you were a mad god after the last chapter but now you have managed to exceed even that bye combining this with one of the must insane and bloody awesome games ever made truly you are a mad god for no mortal could create a story with so muchs chaos so muchs awesome so muchs insanity and yet still somehow allow the story to make some sense. well ill be looking forward to whats to come i would say you can't surprise me anymore but you already proved me wrong before so im just going to sit relax and enjoy the chaos
Oh dear God a Saints Row Twilight
3917807 Fuck Yeah!
This Story just Got 120% more awesome!
Though I'm reasonably certain that Professor Genki was never a Saint...
3918594
Especially since three of those pink rangers never made it to the US.
3919510
He wasn't, but no character fits Pinkie better.
ou have the crazyy that is The Saints, how exactly is it going to calm down?
Also DRINK SAINTS FLOW B@#%$S!!
Also one thought
Turanga "Twilight" Leela
3917807
*blinks a couple of times* oh heck this is getting more surreal by the chapter. and now the masters of satirical mayhem have arrived.
*slowly falls over*
Oh god, there's going to be more.
you have finally lost me with all this insanity.
Whatever you're on when you write this, can I have some?
Ask Daemon of Decay if you can add in Asylum Twilight.
I love that this is a story in which that line makes sense
3918594 3918200 I actually already offered. I'm just waiting to see if he accepts.
Wonder if this is after Saints Row IV's events for Boss Twilight and co?
Still, nice surprise there...
Question. Are you related to Discord? Or are you Discord? I'm seeing a lot of chaos. Also, how can things calm down with the Saints? I may have very limited knowledge on the Saints Row games, but I have enough to know that it isn't possible to calm down.
You know, after this craziness, Human Twilight is going to be downright uninteresting.
3920651 I hope he does cus that would be epic
I'll be honest, this story is my weed, and I enjoy every fix. Don't change Defender.
Oh crape the saints row4 saints. superpowers inbound?
3918697 Even if only half of the footage was used, more than half of the stuff is gone. For example, where will you find anyone as awesome as Captain Marvelous? Certainly not on this side of the ocean. Aside from the powers being different, there's also the matter of weapons. GoseiBlack was a heavy melee user, and presuming that he becomes GokaiGreen, there will have to be an explanation for why he went from melee to guns (and that's before combat styles). The opposite is the case for GoseiBlue to GokaiBlue. The Gokai Cellular would have to be reworked to account for the Titanium Ranger as well. While the Gokai Cellular problem is unavoidable, the rest of the issues present with Super Megaforce could have been averted with a whole new team.
While I want to say that Gokai-Oh got ruined on the way here, it's actually kind of fun looking. At least what's done at the end here.
3924416
I was just mentioning the footage as the main thing that's going to be gone. I'm well aware that using only half of Gokaiger's story and the same team from MegaForce pretty much means a lot of stuff is getting cut. Sadly I can see us easily not getting an equivalent to Joe vs Barizorg or Marvelous vs Basco, and if we do, they'll probably end up being one episode, throwaway battles.
It's not just GoseiBlack/GokaiGreen and GoseiBlue/GokaiBlue that will be a problem to explain, but all 5 of the them. The fighting styles between the Goseiger's and Gokaiger's respective members are just too different for us to, out of the blue, expect to believe it's the same people fighting. The ONLY way to fix that is to do what they did with MMPR seasons 2 and 3, and that's to basically record their own footage with the Gokaiger outfits.
Titanium? I'm pretty sure GokaiSilver is still going to be referred to as the Silver Ranger.
The rest of the issues? No, ALL of the issues would've been averted with a new team and Gokaiger being a stand alone season rather than a spliced together second season with Goseiger. Hell, we wouldn't even be talking about this if Saban hadn't have chopped Shinkenger in half and aired each half as two separate seasons.
I kind of want to see Yu-Gi-Twi the Abridged Series. Please?
3918745 Blame that on Nickoloden for insisting on 40 episodes as opposed to letting Saban stretch out the two seasons. Nick is not making good on their deal with Saban, they are ignoring a media gaint in favor of their own programs that let's face it, aren't going to impress anyone outside of a very narrow target auidence.