"Most honorable grumpy goat-fish?" Sparkle-san said softly, moving so that she was standing next to the god of the sea.
Tydal rolled his eyes; he really wished this new Twilight would learn his name. He'd told her it ten times already but she still insisted on calling him by that strange title. It didn't help his mood at all that Twiely giggled every time Sparkle-san called him a 'grumpy goat-fish'. Sometimes Tydal wondered why he didn't just rain ten plagues upon them all and be done with it. "Yes?"
"I am wondering about wisdom of having little Loo-kun guide us. She is very excitable in my realm and not one I would consider to lead expedition of grave importance."
"Hey!" Twiley shouted, sticking up for her friend. "Scootaloo could so too be an awesome leader! She's a Cutie Mark Crusader and that means she, like me and Applebloom and Sweetie Belle, is hard working and dedicated and focused and-hey, a frozen banana stand!" Twiley began to hop up and down in delight. "Scootaloo, we should try selling frozen bananas; maybe then we'll get our cutie marks! Every pony loves frozen bananas... especially when you are lying in a hammock! Yeah, that is the best!" Twiley let out a gasp. "That's it! We'll use that as part of the name for our shop! CUTIE MARK BANANA HAMMOCKS! YEAH!"
"I will buy 20!" Cadence proclaimed.
"And who would you suggest?" Shining asked while Tydal did his best to explain to the excitable filly why selling bananas, hammocked or not, was not the best idea.
"The normal guides for epic quest," Sparkle-san said as if it were obvious. "A tiny talking mosquito, an enchanted elder tree, or an ancient pervert monk."
"Well, I'm a pervert and Tydal is ancient," Cadence said as she skipped along the road. "I mean, I did try and buy 20 banana hammocks from a filly, so that is pretty bad. Aunt Luna, you are celibate like a monk, so that's pretty close."
"I'm not celibate!" Luna complained. "I have a baby and everything!" Baby Twilight nodded her head in agreement.
"From another dimension," Spike reminded her. "That doesn't really count."
"It so too does! And... and I've had plenty of coltfriends! Like George... Glass."
Shining sighed. "Princess Luna, you have to stop this. There is no George Glass."
~Meanwhile, back in Canterlot...~
"I am afraid Princess Luna was called away on a sudden trip," the royal assistants Pomp and Circumstance stated in unison.
"Oh, how dreadful," George Glass said with a said sigh. He was a tall blond stallion who kinda looked like Mathew from 'Downton Abbey' if you squinted but totally wasn't for legal reasons (please don't sue me, producers of Downton Abbey). A box of Luna's favorite chocolates was resting on his back and he had tickets to the lasted Canterlot musical ('Colts and Dolls') in his pocket. "I was hoping we could take a carriage ride-"
"George!" a unicorn mare who kinda, sort-of looked like Lady Mary from 'Downton Abbey' but wasn't (again, for legal reasons) called out from the far end of the hall. "George, are you there? I wish to be passive-aggressive with you then get confused when you become annoyed with my frigid ways."
"I'm not here!" George Glass said in a panic, hiding behind a fern plant.
~MC~MC~MC~
Luna shrugged. "The reason we are having little Scootaloo lead us is that she is the only one that can detect you Twilights."
Sparkle-san shook her head in annoyance. "I am still thinking this is quite silly!"
"Yes..." Cadence said, "about as silly as an alien monkey-man defeating other aliens, all of whom happen to have punny names, with martial arts."
"...I retract my previous statement." Sparkle-san scraped her hoof against the sidewalk and blushing. "Loo-kun, a thousand apologies. I will create many folded paper swans as penance."
"Uh... I'm good, thanks," Scootaloo stated.
Tydal scoffed. "One live swan would be better... preferably between two sesame seed buns." Tydal licked his lips. "Two swan patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, onion on a sesame seed bun..."
"Are you sensing anything, Scootaloo?" Twiley asked.
Scootaloo nodded her head. "Yeah, getting at least two more Twilights in that direction. One of them is really weird, though."
"What do you mean?" Shining asked.
"Well... Baby Twilight gives off a different feeling than the other Twilights. Same as with Delirium."
"Are you saying you sense another chaos-using Twilight?" Spike asked nervously.
"I hope so!" Luna said with glee. "I want another song and dance number." She reached over and grabbed a baseball cap and placed it backwards on Tydal's head. "Come on, let's do this!"
Luna (very soulful)
I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed
Get along with the voices inside of my head
You're trying to save me, stop holding your breath
And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy
Well, that's nothing
Well, that's nothing
Tydal (to the shock of the others, begins to rap)
Now, I ain't much of a poet but I know somebody once told me
To seize the moment and don't squander it
'Cause you never know when it all could be over tomorrow
So I keep conjuring, sometimes I wonder where these thoughts spawn from
Spike
Yeah, pondering'll do you wonders.
No wonder you're losing your mind the way it wanders.
Baby Twilight
Yo-lo-lo-lo-yee-whoo
Tydal
I think it been wandering off down yonder
And stumbled on 'ta Discordin'
'Cause I need an interventionist
To intervene between me and this monster
And save me from myself and all this conflict
'Cause the very thing that I love's killing me and I can't conquer it
My OCD's conking me in the head
Keep knocking, nobody's home, I'm sleepwalking
I'm just relaying what the voice in my head's saying
Don't shoot the messenger, I'm just friends with the
Luna
I'm friends with the monster that's under my bed
Get along with the voices inside of my head
You're trying to save me, stop holding your breath
And you think I'm crazy, yeah, you think I'm crazy
Well, that's nothing
Well, that's nothing
The others stared at Luna and Tydal as they finished up. "Well..." Shining said, "that happened."
"There are more that use most dishonorable chaos chi?" Sparkle-san asked in shock.
"Yes," Scootaloo said, her brow scrunched up, "but I'm not sensing chaos magic. Its something else... something... I guess the best word would be 'outrageous'."
"...try again," Shining said calmly.
"But it is outrageous!" Scootaloo complained.
Spike considered this carefully. "Ok, so on a scale of Jem to Aquaman, just how outrageous is it?"
"Bill and Ted," Scootaloo said.
"That is outrageous!" Spike exclaimed.
"Permission to kill?" Tydal asked, wagging his tail.
"...denied," Shining said.
"Took you a moment to answer there," Tydal teased.
The orange pegasus shook her head. "You guys can make fun but I know what I feel. There is an outrageous Twilight out there and..." the filly closed her eyes, "...she's moving towards the first new Twilight I sense right now!"
~Meanwhile, in another part of Trotyo that is just a bit more outrageous...~
"This was one of Spike's spells, I just know it!"
Twilight sighed, pacing up the busy sidewalk, muttering to herself in frustration. The little dragonese was very annoyed and was making a mental checklist of all the things she was going to do to Spike once she got back to Ponyville. She reached a clawed hand up and ran her palm along her spines, wishing she had a quill and a scroll so she could write down all her grievances.
"I've told him a hundred times that he needs to stop trying to do magic! He just isn't that talented at it and since he refuses to practice he causes things like this!" the little baby dragoness waved her arms about. "How hard is it to do a simple spell? You just follow the instructions in the book... simple!"
"Pppffff!" a strange masked mare said, sticking her tongue out and blowing a raspberry (too bad she was wearing a mask without a mouth hole; the raspberry ended up looking like some alien creature was trying to escape her mouth). "Instructions are for boring ponies and the mafia. I think it was the mafia, can't remember."
"I can't remember either"
'Neither can I!'
"Uh..." Twilight Dragon said nervously, backing away from the strange red-and-black clad mare, "Ok, you seem really odd so I think I'll just go now..."
"Aw, don't be like that," Twipool said with a laugh. "Don't run off, I got you a present and everything!"
"A... present?" Twilight Dragon asked, eyebrow raised. "What sort of present?"
"Oh, something really cool Its a 'Hi, nice to meet you' present!" Twipool pulled out of a bush (which happened to be the rare Hammerspace Shrub) a large book with a brown faux-leather cover. "Its an ancient tome filled with all sorts of cool things to study!"
"Oooooo," Twilight Dragon said, practically drooling. She reached out and grasped the book in her hands. "T-thank you!"
"Well, if you like that, you are going to love all the other presents I got you!" Twipool said, smirking under her mask as she began to grab more books and give them Twilight Dragon. The baby dragoness smiled in delight, never noticing that she was suffering a growth spurt...
~Meanwhile, back with our heroes....~
"Explain to me again how Dance Dance Revolution is suppose to help us find this new Twilight?" Scootaloo asked, doing a spin and slamming her hooves down on two of the lit-up panels.
"Oh, it is very helpful, Loo-kun!" Sparkle-San said, shaking her hips to the music. The video game cheered her on with brightly flashing lights and little pictures of cartoon cats proclaiming 'You Do Much Good Now, Thank Welcome!' "This helps us build up much endurance and strength, so that when evil tentacle raping monsters appear we are able to outrun them."
"Tentacle what now?" Spike asked as he waited his turn to play.
"Are you talking about Bill?" Tydal asked. "I hate that guy... he still owes me $10."
"That explains so much and yet so little," Shining Armor said.
"Shiny!" Cadence called out, running to her husband. "My fizzy water's doing silly things!"
The stallion looked into the cup and watched as perfect little rings formed every few seconds. "I think those are impact tremors..."
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Luna looked up from the claw machine she was playing (Baby Twilight had somehow become stuck inside and refused to come out). "By Tirek's firm butt, what was that?"
"Sounded like screams," Tydal said.
"Must be weird for them not being caused by your actions," Spike said.
"Shut it, doggie killer."
"Ba?" Baby Twilight said, warping out of the claw machine and onto her mother's back.
The group quickly made their way out of the crowd, joining the rest of the ponies that were mulling about, wondering what was happening. The cries of terror (which weren't suddenly silenced, despite what some Jedi might think) continued and the impact tremors were growing so strong that everyone could actually feel them. Lights flickered on and off and the wail of sirens echoed from a distance. Native ponies shifted uneasily, looking about with terror-filled eyes.
And then, from around a corner, they saw it: a massive wingless dragon stomping through Trotyo. She had a stocky build with a short muzzle and plate-like spines that ran down her back. She stood completely upright and her tail hung just a few meters off the ground, swaying slightly with every step she took. Every once and a while the dragon would open her purple maw and let loose a terrible battle cry that made all the ponies tremble.
"RUN!" Cadence screamed. "IT'S GODZILLA!"
Shining shook his head. "Actually, I'm pretty sure that is just another alternate-dimensional version of my sister. I think she is a dragon in her world and has somehow grown to titanic proportions."
"STILL WE SHOULD RUN LIKE IT IS GODZILLA!" Cadence cried out.
"Though it isn't," Shining reminded her.
The dragon's fat foot landed just feet from them.
"...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Shining screamed, joining his wife in panicking.
"Ok, this is really, really bad," Scootaloo said. "A giant dragon Twilight! That's-"
BANG!
Scootaloo leapt back, eyes wide as she stared at the spot on the sidewalk where the sniper's bullet had struck.
"Dang, I knew I was going to overshoot her!" Twipool complained from her perch of Twizilla's shoulder.
'I think you actually undershot her.'
"I think you under-overed her and the shot never existed to begin with... dun dun dun!"
"Hey look, Scootaloo!" Twiley said with a grin. "There's another me up there trying to shoot a party sniper rifle at us!" The filly opened her mouth. "Come on, I'm ready-AAACK!"
"Not a party rifle!" Scootaloo screamed as she joined the rest of the mob in fleeing.
“A giant dragon!” Tydal said with utter glee. “I haven’t gotten to fight one of those in ages!” The rest of the group watched as the capricorn turned around and began to run back towards Twizilla. “Oh, there is going to be so much property-“
WHAM!
“Dad!” Luna screamed as she raced up to the semi truck that had just struck the sea god. “You ok?”
“Did… did I get glomped again?” he asked, a bit woozy.
“My apologizes,” the truck said.
“Did… did that truck just talk?” Twiley asked.
“Indeed,” the truck said, its entire form splitting apart. Scootaloo, Spike, Cadence and Shining reluctantly stopped fleeing and returned to the scene of the accident, watching as the semi slowly took on a rather familiar pony shape…
“You have got to be kidding,” Shining stated dryly.
“I am Twilimus Prime,” the truck-turned-robot stated. “I am here to help.”
EDIT: Thanks to Kinight of Lycaeus and CrowMagnon!
Dragon Twilight is from Flipside by Bed Head, which can be found here: http://www.fimfiction.net/story/50167/flipside
Second, I warned you all this would go wild... and it will only get worse next chapter!
Well the Transformer Twilight is here, just how many more Twilights are there?
Also I think the story you are thinking of is Flipside.
I do not know if to be confused, excited or to just facepalm.
Twilimus Prime? Damn, Twilight's everything but the kitchen sink.
...
...There's gonna be a sink Twilight, isn't there?
Thanks to you, most likely. That or a Jedi.
3809981
Dragon-Twi is from Flipside by Bed Head.
As for the upcoming Dragon vs. Twilimus Prime battle, there's only one thing that can do it justice.
PS. Oh, and yes, Spike is a reporter in the Flipside setting.
This is too much. XD
Personally, I think a Transformer Twilight would be more of a Twiceptor, but that's just me.
WHO? WHAT? WHEN? WHERE? HOW? WHY? I think that sums up all my questions.
Godzilla vs. Optimus Prime? It's like birthday+Christmas! And Deadpool adds in Easter to that equation. And it gets wilder? I'm afraid I just don't see how that could happen, unless you wind up bringing in Twilight Aznable or something (because the only thing better than a giant robot is two giant robots.). Or something from 40K.
Twilimus Prime vs Twizilla and Twipool. Am I the only one who thinks there is major overusage of the phrase 'Twi' present here, but for some odd reason goes a logn with it because the story hilariously kicks ass.
Excuse me, Bbbbbbbbuuuuuuuuuuuutttttttttttttt I must go find a video.
Why, well just watch it.
I knew you'd bring in Prime (can't have multiple versions of a character appear and interacting without a Transformer version. my persistant
pesteringsuggesting of it paid off). Still think you've might have overdid with Twipool. The only thing that you need now is Twilight Q and this fic will break 1,000,000 (it is currently at 999,500 438 and 5 and a )what's next? pegasus-Twilight? because that would actually be normal... well, compared to everything else anyways...
.
.
.
grim reaper Twilight? secret agent Twilight? teenage mutant ninja Twilight?
and what about that one Twilight that was her Emo Teenage Magical puberty version of herself?
Harmony is the right of all sentient beings!
Good
Anyone else getting an "Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: Twilight Sparkle Edition" vibe here?
Still, no matter what you pull, no matter how many Twilights you include, you will never surprise me.
I DEFY YOU TO SURPRISE ME!
What's next? A Doctor Twilight? an Equestria Girls Twilight? a Dark Emperor Sombra Twilight? per chance maybe a GI Joe Twilight? No, better yet, Cobra Commander Twilight! Or how about something so excruciatingly simple, a Twilight with no hair stripes. They could even consider replacing their old Twilight with that one because there are no other differences. Or maybe Shetland Twilight, there would be a good guffaw at how different she looks. Maybe a Shoggoth Twilight where she, Tydal, Discord, and Luna all have a nice brunch with triangle sandwiches.
The point I'm getting at here is, no matter what you do, I will not be shocked. Also I realized these are all ideas you could use.
Go. Nuts.
I am now convinced you are an inmate at an insane asylum with access to a computer. DON'T STOP!!!
This is from the Simpson's isn't it?
So very, very awesome.
Please add a RoboCop Twilight.
Please!
3811117
No, Austin Powers: Goldmember.
WE NEED TWILITRON! IT JUST NEEDS TO HAPPEN!
Oh boy I wonder if Twilimus Prime can explain her trailer that disappears when she transforms!
Nice chapter, but I found some things you may want to edit.
That should be "Twiley".
I'm pretty sure that should be "suggest".
I think that should be "latest".
And I'm pretty sure that should be "dragoness".
Tune in next time for the Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Twilery!
Ok, so we have a Twilight for DC, Marvel, and now one for Hasbro...when am I going to get a Spawn Twilight?
Friendship is the right of all sentient beings!!! I too am imagining that Twilimus Prime sounds like Tara Strong trying way too hard to sound like Peter Cullen
And poor Dragon Twilight. Twipool is a jerk, all three of her.
BTW, do you need a changeling Twilight? I have one you can borrow
I love that reference.
Also, yay for Twilimus Prime. I suppose in her universe Optimus Prime passed the Matrix of Leadership to her, and she became leader of the autobots.
Godzilla Twilight?
Transformers Twilight?
Deadpool Twilight?
...
You dont understand
you have taken my favorite everything and put them into a single story
i was contemplating suicide prior to reading this
I am not any longer
I am not joking.
I have lost my ability to can
The world is a wonderful and beautiful place once again.
Thank you
3810033
You're right.
There's ONE thing that can do it justice.
Nice as always. And here, have a gift on me:
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/CrisisOfInfiniteTwilights
Needs a LOT more tropes, but this page needed to be made.
3812488 I stand corrected.
3812598 Thanks for getting that started! I got the character page kicked off.
I really enjoyed this. Twipool and her different mind parts. So funny. Then, Optimus Twilight. What's next? I've honestly stopped being surprised with what you bring in. Is there going to be an evil robot Twilight?
AN Oprtimus Prime Twilight...? Why not? Say is there an actual story that involves this one or is this just you're usual wackiness?
3811546 You are only now thinking this is crazy? Have we been reading the same fic? Though I do agree this is getting... stranger. All we need now is a Joker Twilight and were set.
And just when I thought it couldn't get any more
insaneawesome!Thing's just keep getting more and more crazy. I love it.
What? Twilimus Prime? You've gone too far now, this has become utterly ridiculous... everyone knows Twilight would be Ratchet.
3814043
Like many of the others, this is an original creation. I will detail her backstory next chapter.
3812598
3813358
Thank you both! I am now putting links to both in the description.
Strange, it's like your trying to wring out every possible japanese stereotype and cliche you can find. Don't forget to get in a scene of two samurai dueling in a Cherry Blossom Orchard while the ninja sneaks up to stab the victor in the back.
And yet, through all of this crazy, you still haven't even gotten to Human Twilight. What gives?
Why is Twilimus a truck though? It's obvious if Twilight was an autobot, she'd be a school bus.
3812598 can someone link my green lantern story and the universe to it
3818076
IIRC, a link's in the characters page.
3818447 thanks and will tropes that can apply to my stories appear there
There could be a section in the main article about spinoffs
Just started reading this and caught up. Please tell me there's a version of twi that is ciel phantomhive, L, maka albarn or soul evans, edward or alphonse elric, or henrietta.
3815221 Twichet: I NEEDED THAT!
3812598
Here are some character tropes for gl
Badass creed: obvious
Composite character: since in my universe twi has traces of hal and kyle
The leader: she is the leader of the super friends of equestria my universe version of the justice league
...Celestia save me...
This Story is just getting ridiculous now
3825959
When was it not? and isn't that why we're reading it?