Fate is a Funny Old Thing

by Steventheman

The Sheltering Wings of The Protector

Mobius slowly opened his eyes and sat up. He was back in his old, grey-wallpapered room. A clock on the wall read the time as 12:04 PM. The ISAF flag hung on the wall, next to the flag of the Republic of Delarus - Mobius' home country, or at least the one he remembered living in for most of his life.

Mobius unzipped his flight suit and checked his torso. His wound was still there, but the clothes had been repaired and there was no outer impression that he had taken an injury. Mobius stood up slowly and looked outside the window towards the runway in the distance - towards the pilots taking off on air patrols. He hoped that he hadn't missed anything at all in his three day absence.

He walked slowly towards the door of his room, before stepping into the quiet corridor.

Mobius paced down the corridor, before reaching a small ready room. To his surprise, there was somebody else there.

Sky Eye?

The tall man turned around from putting money into a vending machine, and looked at Mobius. "Mobius One? Where have you been?!"

This...is not going to be easy to explain...

"I've got time," Sky Eye replied, tapping his foot. He was fully aware of Mobius' ability as the fighter pilot had left him a note detailing his way of communicating. He searched around for a notepad, before finding some paper. He took a pen from his breast pocket. "Command went crazy after your disappearance. I better give them the good news after this."

Well, it all started when I woke up next to two women...

"I'm already liking where this is going," the officer laughed, sitting down on a plastic chair and sipping a can of cola, writing down Mobius' exact words.

It was nothing like that, Pierre. Basically, they got teleported from some place, and I got stuck with them. They were called Reimu and Marisa. They were kinda police officers from their home world.

Pierre stared at Mobius incredulously. The pilot was in a different world talking to police officers. "Mobius, forgive me if I offend, but I think you were high off something."

Nope, this was pretty real. Anyway, we saw a town and we headed towards it. They were talking about how they got there. They got called out to an attack at a shrine someplace, called Moria or Moriya. Then, a vampire girl named Flandre attacked them, and they fell into a portal in the confusion.

Pierre couldn't believe what he was hearing. Extra-dimensional police officers, portals, vampires, and Mobius was being dead serious about all of this. Pierre had worked for ISAF since its formation, and this was the most ridiculous thing he ever heard. Nevertheless, he continued writing out the story.

We found a house belonging to a pony-

"Mobius One," Pierre interrupted flatly. "I think you're lying. I think you went on an utter bender off base, did something embarrassing and you just don't want to confess to it."

Pierre, what I am telling you is the complete and honest truth. I couldn't make this up if I tried.

"Alright, continue this explanation. Just be aware that I'm beyond the point where I personally believe you," the AWACS officer replied. "I mean, I know we're friends, but there's a limit, you know?"

I understand. Thinking about it now, it seems completely stupid. Anyway, we managed to get a room in the pony's house, and we set up there. However, Flandre found a way through to the town. She attacked some of the pony military, so Marisa and I flew up to defeat her.

"Hold up, the ponies had fighter aircraft?"

No, Marisa and Reimu had the ability to fly through magic and some ponies had wings. I flew a broomstick with Marisa behind me. Yes, before you ask, she is a witch. So we fought Flan, and we eventually downed her. Reimu told the pony military to report Flandre dead, and we all went home. Turns out that she wasn't evil at all. She was just lost, and that she's prone to destroying things when panicked.

Mobius paused, taking in Pierre's expression of complete confusion, before continuing.

Pierre, that girl was actually one of the sweetest people I've ever met. She's also the most deadly. I'm gonna cut the story a bit short. We got arrested for some reason, I met an ice fairy named Cher-no or something like that, we escaped prison, and fought the pony air force's best aces while Flandre raised Hell on the ground.

Mobius One leaned in close to the AWACS officer.

That sweet little girl took out squads of heavily armed soldiers. Using a flamethrower.

"Mobius..." Pierre rubbed his now-wrinkled forehead and set his pen down. He had known Mobius for a long time, and he was normally a serious man who took life as seriously as he did flying, but here he was telling a tale of witches, ponies, vampires and battles. "I can't listen to another word. This is completely insane, illogical and against all reason..."

Yeah, I'm sorry, you're right, I made it up...

"What really happened, Mobius?"

...I got drunk and did something embarrassing. The only detail in that story that was real was waking up next to two women.

"The truth always comes out sometime. Don't worry, I can guess that it was really bad if you made that story up..." Pierre laughed, putting his arm around the pilot and leading him down the corridor, heading for the commander's office. "So, tell me about these women..."

---

The sun hung high in the midday sky. There was barely a cloud in sight. Some fairies flew around each other in circles, laughing in their little game. The wind blew gently to the North, bringing a cool breeze to the shade. Only the sounds of quiet brushing were audible.

Reimu ceased her brushing for a moment, looking over the shrine's front. The petals from nearby flowers and trees were gone, swept away by the wind and the broom. Reimu adjusted the leather eyepatch over her right eye, and traced the scar across her face. It had become her habit to do so. Reimu blinked her one good eye and sighed as that fateful day's events played over and over again in her head. Mima had escaped. Yukari, Mobius and herself were badly injured and Yukari's attempts to fix the crisis in Equestria were heavily resisted by their army until Yukari saved their princess. The gap youkai told the story about how a younger princess, who controlled the Moon, had attempted to rouse her sister from her slumber. Yukari knew that the coma was caused by Mima misusing her powers, and it was the same reason why the Royal Guard had acted with such callousness during the night of their arrest. Mima had messed with boundaries that Yukari herself had not touched in years.

Reimu headed back inside and looked at the white box on her table. Yukari had sent it to her as a Get Well present - a box of 'Yorkshire tea.' Reimu moved her hand in front of her to pick the box up, however she misjudged the distance and knocked the box over. She felt her scar and eyepatch again, and sighed. Another hand came from her blind side and picked the box up.

"Still getting used to it, huh?" Marisa's voice asked.

"Don't think I ever will," Reimu replied. "I've got to learn how to fight all over again. Wait until word spreads around about how I can't see out of one side. Everybody's danmaku will be coming from the right then."

"But on the bright side, that scar looks pretty awesome," Marisa complimented.

"Really? We're going with 'scars are cool looking' to cheer me up?" Reimu asked, sitting down and holding her head in her hands. She felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I think it's pretty cool," Marisa reassured. "...Still doesn't change the fact that it was my fault..."

"How many times- It wasn't your fault! You couldn't have seen it coming!" Reimu scolded. "Stop blaming yourself for it!"

"Jeez, sorry for being concerned for you!" Marisa argued back.

"...So I heard that Cirno's managed to calm the general fairy populations down," Reimu whispered, trying to change the subject.

"Yeah."

"And Yukari has returned Flandre?"

"Flandre got home," Marisa confirmed. "Heard that Remilia wasn't even angry by that point."

Marisa rooted around her pocket for a breath mint, before feeling a piece of paper. She grabbed it and produced the picture that Flandre had drawn.

"...I guess I forgot to return this to her," Marisa said to herself.

"Return what?"

Marisa spun around, and looked into the eyes of the vampire's maid.

"Oh...err..." Marisa stuttered, before Sakuya snatched the drawing from her hand. The maid examined it with a smirk.

"...Stealing a child's drawings, are we?" Sakuya laughed. "I guess that Miss Knowledge's books weren't turning a profit at your fence?"

"Hey! I don't have a fence!" Marisa lied.

"I'll believe it when I see it," Sakuya teased playfully. "Or judging by my position, when I don't."

"I told you! I only borrow things!"

"Borrowing ends when you sell the good to a shady person in a dark alley," Sakuya replied. "I know you types."

"If you're done insulting me, why are you here?" Marisa asked.

"The mistress heard of your condition, Miss Hakurei," Sakuya introduced, turning to Reimu.

"Great," Reimu sighed.

"She wishes to offer her sincerest sympathies, and she once again thanks you for the safe return of her sister," Sakuya explained. She reached into her pocket. "Furthermore, she has authorized me to make a small donation."

Sakuya pushed a small wad of notes into Reimu's hands.

"...Thank you," Reimu said slowly.

"Not a problem," Sakuya replied, turning to leave, before grinning. "In addition, I hear that you two have...become closer than friends."

"What?!" Reimu yelled.

"Miss Flandre told me. She told me that when you were due to be executed, that you shared a kiss. Quite cliché, in my opinion. You should've done something more original, like dress as clowns and shout a joke."

"No! It isn't like that at all! I did it so that I could whisper to Marisa without Mima hearing!" Reimu explained, head in her hands. "Now I wish I fought her and gotten all of us killed. I'm never going to live that down, am I?"

"To be fair, it was a very...sincere peck," Marisa countered. "I was really unsure of what to make of it."

"...Okay, maybe I was a little too zealous in that remark," Reimu admitted. "But I had to make it look real!"

"In my view, you subconsciously wish for it to have been real," Sakuya smirked, enjoying Marisa's discomfort with the topic as much as Reimu's embarrassment. It was a rare opportunity where she got to make people tense up by merely talking. "You want to undo every little button on the witch's clothing, to admire her body as she invites you beneath the covers for the ultimate bond between a couple. You want to hear every gasp, every moan and every little whisper of your name."

"Okay, have you thought about a career in writing?" Marisa countered, tensing up in obvious discomfort. "That's creepy how you thought of all that on the spot!"

"I have a natural creativity," Sakuya giggled. She turned around again to leave, still holding the picture. "Were it not for my hours, I would consider it."

"Uh huh. You do that," Reimu replied, holding the money. She watched the maid leave. "That was creepy."

"I know right?" Marisa laughed nervously. She looked at Reimu's facial scar, and thought about how it impacted her appearance. The scar was still red and fresh. Marisa had asked Yukari to fix the damage completely, but the gap youkai insisted that she could not play favorites when it came to injuries and matters of that sort, and that she needed to be consistent - If she healed Reimu, she would have to heal everybody.

"Can you stop staring at my face, please?" Reimu asked.

"I wasn't staring!" Marisa defended.

Reimu stood up and walked outside. She looked at a distant fairy battle in the sky.

"They get smarter every day, don't they?" Marisa observed, noticing the complex manoeuvres of the fairies. "Maybe in fifty years, they'll be a challenging opponent."

"Heh. Yeah..." Reimu nodded. She looked at her friend. "Maybe they'll help an old woman out and shoot from the left, eh?"

"Oh, stop it," Marisa replied. "I don't think a little thing like half-blindness is going to stop you, Reimu."

"...Yeah, you're right. Just because Mima took my eye, doesn't mean she took anything else. And at the end of the day, who's alive?"

"Yeah. You can walk into your shrine right now and eat something. She can't do that," Marisa said.

"Maybe that's why she's that evil. Not only does she want to see my head on a platter because of my great-great-great-grandmother, but she's unable to experience simple things. I would feel sorry for her, but she did attempt to destroy a planet."

"You know, one thing's bothered me..." Marisa muttered. "She called herself my mother."

"She was trying to get at you, I think," Reimu answered. "Trying to make you think twice about attacking her."

"With a mother like her, I wonder how I didn't get screwed up..." Marisa wondered, watching as one fairy finally lost the battle.

"Your parents don't make you the person you become. There are other factors," Reimu explained.

The two sat in silence for a few minutes.

"This is good...just, the quiet after an Incident. We all get to relax, the issue is solved, everyone's happy."

"You got that right..." Reimu agreed, watching the sky darken as the sun went behind the clouds. "It's not a perfect life, but it's one Hell of a life."

The two friends stood closely side by side, watching in silence as the sun started to descend from its noon position.

"So Mobius went home. Shame, I actually kinda liked the guy. Kept Flandre quiet for us," Marisa observed. "I bet Remilia's gonna comb the world for another fighter pilot to keep her sister calm."

"Hehe, yeah. I'm glad I didn't have to look after her," Reimu replied. "I am not good with children."

"Considering that every time you've met somebody who looks like a child. you've beaten them up, I believe you," Marisa joked. "So, you reckon that Rarity and the other guy got on?"

"I hope so," Reimu replied. She sighed and leaned against the exterior wall. "Still can't believe Mima got away..."

"We'll get her next time," Marisa reassured. "...I just hope we never deal with a Class Zero again."

Suddenly, Marisa was hit by a sudden realisation. It was the most important realisation she ever had in her life.

"I forgot to ask Yukari if she could get that chocolate cereal!" Marisa cried, holding her head in her hands. "If I have to spend the rest of my life without that cereal I'll most likely kill myself!"

"Ah, I'll ask her next time," Reimu assured, putting her hand on Marisa's shoulder. "I owe you a box."

The shrine maiden walked out in front of the witch and looked up to the sky in thought. She had fought much more dangerous opponents over her life, and not one ever inflicted more than minor wounds on her. However, just by simply disregarding Spell Card rules, Mima had blinded her in one eye. She thanked herself for making the rules up. At least everybody had to give her a fair chance, and fighting didn't require a false surrender and almost getting her throat slashed.

She suddenly became all the more thankful that most people in Gensokyo did not wish lethal harm upon her, and if they did, they did not wish it for long.

And maybe Marisa was right. Maybe with the eyepatch, her reputation as a powerful fighter would improve, as she will still defeat people who had the advantage of two eyes.

Reimu smiled, freely swinging her arms at her side.

"You want a quick duel, Marisa? I've been dying for a proper battle."

Author's Note:

Well, that was something. As I write this note, I am drinking my celebratory vodka, for this is another fic I've actually managed to complete! (Cheers!)

And so, another Mindfuck comes to a close. But where will the next one come from? Behind you? Above you? To the sides or below you? I don't know.

On a side note, god I love Walfas.

Comments

[Steventheman]

3323188

Indeed.

[TheSumirekoFan]

Walfas...?
...This got interesting.

[TheSumirekoFan]

Heh. So Marisa still wants that Chocolate cereal?
...Let's see how Yukari will respond to that. Maybe in a Walfas Comic.