• Member Since 11th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 2nd, 2016


It's been a while.


Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle, who are stoned out of their minds on poison joke mixed with some rancid frosting from Sugarcube Corner, decide to find a good place to eat. They must adventure around The Glorious People's United States of Democratic America, trying not to break things, and they must defeat the evils that stand before them, and some goddamn tacos.

This is what happens when I re-purpose old ideas for old fanfics. You can either take it seriously, as a masterpiece of human literature, in which Shakespeare would weep at, before running home to wear MCR shirts and cry about how goffick he is, like a My Immortal character, or not, in which case I hope you get a few laughs from it. Maybe it would even be in your interest to give a upvote or a comment. But deep down, you know stories about intoxicated equines with mythical properties won't change the fact that you live a bleak existence, in which millions of humans starve, and yet there are charities for endangered animals, or that billions of dollars are spent on new weapons to humanely murder other humans. The message is always the same: Be nice to people, but beat out the competition! You won't find a reason for free will after such thoughts. We give you freedom, and you abuse it. Read the fic or not. We're done here.

Whew. Sorry, I went on a Patriot rant there. But yeah, this is most likely not meant to be taken absolutely seriously. And if you do, might I recommend that you stop caring about a random fanfic author that wrote a story about two ponies getting high, and instead focus on your education, or your career?

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 22 )

Upvoted because of a reference to Red Dwarf


Because. There is only one reason, and that is because.

Okay, it was the author's note that finally sold it. :pinkiecrazy:

Um, ok, being a nitpicking asshole here, but decimate means to reduce by ten percent, two out of five is forty percent, just saying. Very funny though and yes a Red Dwarf reference :twilightsmile:

What the buck just happened to my brain?


Everything, and at the same time, nothing. :applejackconfused:

On Porpise!


Warning: Steveinol not recommended for pregnant women, bronies or pregnant bronies. Consult your therapist after use. Side effects include insanity, desire to commit murder and knowing the nature of reality.

2191782 He's right.
And I discovered Equestria!
Unfortunatley, I need more fezzes to get there.


Symptoms will subside in a few years. Numbness in the brain is normal. Consult a mortician of symptoms persist or you suddenly turn into a mecha pony with a sword. Actually, don't for the latter. If that happens, go fight crime.

get this chapter a comment. Chapters love comments

Oh god, I'm coming down off all the sugar. What the fuck have I wrote?



Don't worry, I got more sugar-high Hell stories left in me. :pinkiecrazy:

...I love this, if just for the fact that you used fucking Metallica.


God, this was thirty weeks ago. Two hundred and ten days ago.

Also, yes, the song was the actual inspiration for this chapter. I would've just gone with the pair of them hijacking a plane, causing the government to go nuts, thinking another 9/11 was going to happen, before Twi and Dash just make a textbook landing in the plane's original destination had I not heard the song.

"You're not a drug dealer, you're my friend! Friends make drugs for their friends!"

Saying this has never worked for me.

well ....this story seems to be complete and total bull ........i love it ha ha ha:twilightsheepish::pinkiehappy::ajbemused::heart::heart:


I would qualify everything I've ever written as complete and total bull. Every time I get serious, I end up thinking "No no no, it's too dark. Let's add clown suits and giant robots."

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