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Broken Record507 words

Broken Record

I don't understand. Why are you doing this? Don't you know who I am? Aren't I your friend? I never thought you, of all ponies, would be capable of hurting anypony!

Whenever I looked at you, I saw an elegant woman that had everything together. Was I wrong about you this whole time? Did I do something to make you mad? If I did, I want to turn around and say I'm sorry to the cellist that I could call my friend, but my body won't stop running. It knows that if I stop, I'll die! I don't want to! I'm scared, I'm so scared. I've lost track of how long I've been running for.

These streets twist and turn so many times, it's like a maze. My fear is that my next turn will be my last. I want to scream. I want somepony, anypony, to hear me and save me, but once again, my body is focused on one thing, and that is running. I fear for the grey pony chasing me. I can't bring myself to believe that this is who she really is. Doesn't she know that this is sick?!

Dead end. I hear her hoof steps slowly clicking behind me. I have so many questions to ask but all I can think of is, why me? Tears began streaming town my face as she calmly approached me. Her body was siluhetted by the moonlight, all I could see was the dark figure as she took the hammer she brought with her and raised it high above her head as she reared back.

The next thing I felt was an unimaginable amount of pain shooting through my leg. My vision turned white as I felt myself falling to the ground. When my vision returned, I looked down to see that my left foreleg was bent at the knee in a way that shouldn't be possible.

I looked back up just in time to see her raise the hammer again. This time, she struck me in the side. The force knocked me off my hooves. Everything seemed to move in slow motion at that point while I was tumbling through the air. I couldn't control my body, I was in too much pain to brace for the landing and when I finally hit the ground, the wind got knocked out of me. I couldn't breathe. My ribcage was smashed, at least one or two ribs pierced my lungs, and my organs were ruptured. How strong could she possibly be? Theres no way a pony with her figure could be able to cause so much damage, could it? With what little strength I had left, I focused my fading vision through the cracked purple lenses to see her. She reached down and took off my glasses and put her face up against mine. She stared deep into my eyes and I stared deep into hers. They were empty.

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TheExhaustedBrony

TheExhaustedBrony #1 · Sep 23rd, 2013 · · ·

3244833 whoops! XD I'm typing up all my stuff on my iphone, so naturally, pressing buttons is a bitch. Thank you for the feedback though.

Corwin Freiss

Corwin Freiss #2 · Sep 23rd, 2013 · 1 · ·

I'm slightly disappointed by how short this story is. There is so much potential in the idea of Octavia "studying" the emotions and their causes and you apparently have the capabilities to use it. Why didn't you do so?

TheExhaustedBrony

TheExhaustedBrony #3 · Sep 23rd, 2013 · · ·

3246615 thank you for the feed back. I'll make sure that your advice gets put to good use. Aside from that one issue you found, did you otherwise enjoy the story?

Corwin Freiss

Corwin Freiss #4 · Sep 23rd, 2013 · · ·

3246709 Yes, that's why I yearn for longer version. The fact that Octavia went to perform after she commited murder showed perfectly how emotionless she is.

I was slightly surprised by the weapon of choice - hammer is usually reserved for extreme hatred - but considering what she aimed to evoke in Vinyl, it makes sense.

The beginning of Octavia's curiosity fascinates me. Seeing her train of thoughts when she switched from caressing the creatures to killing them would be very interesting.

PhantomChaser