Author: grimmred
Prompt: Dance
Pinkie Pie was happily bouncing down Ponyville's main street. She called out to everypony, greeting and joking with them. Never had the element of laughter been so happy. There was no reason for her to be so happy but she was. It was like that story about the two ponies from different families that hate each other but they fall in love and kiss. She had gotten distracted and stopped reading after that but it seemed like things could only go up from there.
She was just about ready to start a musical number when she saw The Carousel Boutique, home and business to her good friend Rarity. "I should share my super-riffic happpies with her!" Pinkie thought out loud and quickly bounced toward said building. Humming to herself, trying to place just the right words for "The Amazing Edible Dress" song she burst through the door. Her heart stopped, Her music stopped and her bounce stopped, in mid-air.
Rarity was dancing with Twilight so close she could feel the magical mares breath on her back. It was delicious. "Left hoof first dear" she whispered as Twilight stumbled a bit. They swayed to the beautiful sound of the gramophone, there was nothing more she could ever want to do.
With every chance she got Rarity rubbed against Twilight. Dancing gave her many excuses to do so and it helped that Twilight was terribly socially unaware. "Twirl on this next part" the words dripping like honey into her partners ear. The door slammed as her partner grew very stiff. Rarity dared not turn around, her beautiful carriage had turned back into a pumpkin and she knew it. But she still did not move from Twilights side, she would hold on to this moment as long as fate would let her.
Twilight stared in horror as Pinkie burst through the door to The Carousel Boutique. Time froze as Pinkie was suspended in the air looking at her with confusion. Twilight felt like she was staring down a cockatrice she could not move and she could not look away as Pinkie came to the only conclusion. Gravity kicked back in and she fell to the floor. Her hair fell as well signifying the dreaded mood change as she galloped out of the door.
Twilight untangled herself from Rarity and chased after Pinkie as fast as she could. Rarity left alone fell to the floor tears silently fell to the floor. Frantic and desperate Twilight followed Pinkie at a full tilt but lost sight of her in the crowds of ponyvilles market but she knew where Pinkie would go.
Sugarcube corner was dark and silent as Twilight entered. She had been here so many times before that she knew her way around in the dark. Climbing the stairs she heard the one sound she dreaded, Pinkie was talking. "Madam le Flour your hat is so fetching! What? NO! WE DONT HAVE ANY OTHER GUESTS COMING! I dont care if you liked her... i did too..." Pinkie sobbed.
Pinkies room was set up in a tea party with all her inanimate friends. Twilight had seen this only once herself, and had been told of it once before, both were unpleasant circumstances. "Pinkie i-"
"No cheaters aloud!" Pinkie yelled as twilight stepped in the room. She quickly backed out. "It not what you think" Twilight said miserably letting some tears of her own fall. "What you weren't rubbing up on that... that... no good whorse!" Pinkie yelled "Pinkie! she's your friend! She was just teaching me to dance, for you i might add!" Twilight said with a mix of anger and despair. "For me?" Pinkie said in a little voice.
Rarity lay on her fainting couch with a bottle of jin and a tub of icecream. Reading a romance novel that really should have been considered adult literature. She knew it was selfish but she replaced the protagonists name with her own and her lover with Twilight. Yes, it would be another one of those nights.
Twinkie? Never heard that one before.
I like Twinkies!
One of the perfect couples in my mind.
Because as family guy taught us Twinkies are one of the few things that can stand up to a nuclear blast.
Poor rarity
*squee*
This pleases me greatly, given that Twinkie is a pairing that is often overlooked.
Have a chorus of Flutteryays
[youtube=youtube.com/watch?v=mp9Fhs2f8_Q]
Sorry, I just had to do this
Hooray for nonsensical pairings!
Twinkies
[youtube=youtube.com/watch?v=mp9Fhs2f8_Q]
3097199
I thought this fandom was about tolerance.
3098539
Being in a fandom does not make me obligated to "tolerate" anything.
"Love and Tolerance" is just a defense mechanism. Very few people actually follow it.
Aside from some major formatting errors and a spelling error here or there, I kinda liked this one. Again, sensuality is a surefire way to make me like something. On the other hand... making Rarity a sort-of housebreaker...? Not the sort of thing that can be introduced and dropped in a short, under 1k snippet, in my opinion.
I actually like this one quite a bit. I feel bad for all three of them, and it seems like an idea that would be better off expanded. If done right, it would be chock-full of feels for all three characters. However, as it stands now, it doesn't seem like a Rarity thing to do, nor a Twilight thing, or a Pinkie thing. They seemed out of character to me, but that's because we don't have more details. We don't know the specifics about Twilight and Pinkie's relationship, we don't know how deep Rarity's feelings for Twilight go, and we certainly don't understand how they all tie together. She must feel pretty strongly to do something like that, though I honestly don't think she would. I have a story where Rarity has feelings for Twilight and would've been competing with Fluttershy, but she doesn't. As a generous pony and good friend to both, she gives up those pursuits, even though it gives her a sad ending.
Anyway, I like how you described the dance and how Rarity would have "another one of those nights". I'm not exactly sure why the names are bolded on certain occasions, but that didn't bother me. You did well, but the idea is flawed as it stands now. Not entirely your fault, but for a scene like this details would be a necessity. Good job on the writing, though!
3104328 The bold is supposed to mark where the point of view changes, I'm afraid that was a broken concept i should have thrown away. I almost didn't post this story because it was so fragmented. I just couldn't keep an idea for more than a few minuets before being interrupted by something that day