Author: Subsolar Drift
Prompt: Excitement
It was the big day, but Pinkie wasn't excited. It was odd for her. Pinkie was always excited for something. Good weather, bad weather, holidays, regular days, new friends, old friends, fresh sweets, sweets she found while cleaning out under her bed, it didn't matter to her.
Pinkie watched as her hooves shook. Not from a sugar rush or from a cup of coffee, but from fear.
Pinkie gave a half hearted laugh that sounded more like a sob. Her hooves shook more. This wasn't something she could just giggle away.
Her left nostril itched. Five minutes. She only had five minutes.
There was a knock at the door.
"Pinkie? Darling, are you okay?" Rarity asked.
"Oh, I'm fine Rarity! Just making sure that my mane is the most Pinkie-ist and perfect-ist it can be!"
"Alright, but do hurry!"
Pinkie half heartedly moved her limp hair away from her face. Something fell out, no longer held by her curls. It was a card.
The note shook as she picked it up and read it. It wasn't much, just a short poem.
Rose are red and violets are blue
I've never said it, but Pinkie, I like you
Pinkie smiled. She closed her eyes and pulled the note closer to her.
Pinkie jumped to her hooves, stashing the note in her mane. Hooves steady she pulled open the door and headed out.
"Oh, thank heavens. You're just in time." Rarity paused. "Are you ready?"
"You betcha!" Pinkie nearly sang.
"Well then, here we go!"
Pinkie walked with a calmness that was rare, moving her hooves in time with the music. The ponies on either side of her were smiling as they watched her. She was careful not to step on her dress.
She almost stopped when she turned her eyes to look to the far end of the room.
There was Twilight, waiting for her with glistening eyes.
Pinkie wasn't afraid or scared. No, Pinkie was excited.
Short, really sweet, really hit me right in the feels. Though I guess if I had the nitpick, the note could've been better... then again, knowing Twilight, that's the smoothest she's capable of being when it comes to romance.
I really like this one. It definitely wasn't what I expected from the prompt given, even though a wedding does seem to fit the bill. I especially liked how you emphasized on her being scared, and then as time went on, excited. The transition was lovely and you did a good job. If anything would need improvement, I'd also have to say the note. It didn't seem like something Twilight would write, and it didn't impact my feels as much as the rest of the entry. But even so, you still did very well.
Yeah, Definitely with everybody else here with the note. It's kinda cute that she's being so playful and simple in her little love note, but I can easily imagine Twi reading every book on romance ever and then writing something heartbreakingly wonderful for her bride-to-be. But it was a very sweet story, and I think it made its point very well all the same.
I wanted more of Pinkie freaking out!
Pre-weddings are certainly exciting though, I'm sure! And filled with plenty of other juicy emotions. Good job!