No - Midnight herald
Author: Midnight herald
Prompt: No
Twilight gulped and cringed the moment she walked through the door to Sugarcube Corner. Mr. Cake glared at her from over the counter, his kind green eyes hard and fiery. The walls of the establishment closed in on her, shadows loomed from the tables, stretching towards her. The white walls had never seemed so stark and horrible and there was no space to breathe no space to move no space…
Twilight shook her head furiously, slowing her heart-rate with the deep breaths Cadence had taught her. She steeled herself and walked over to the register, looking into Mr. Cake’s frightening eyes. She licked her lips.
“I-I-Is Pinkie … Upstairs?” she managed, trying to keep her wings and legs from trembling. He glared at her for a bit longer, stretching his long stature to tower over her. She squeaked. “Please, sir, I just want to talk to her, I promise!” she whimpered, her eyes darting away from his terrifying stature.
“If she doesn’t want to see you yet, you’ll come right back downstairs, or you’ll hear from me,” he growled, jerking his head towards Pinkie’s room.
“Of course, sir,” Twilight answered, trotting to the stairs. She forced herself to go up one, two steps, before she finally cantered up the rest, determined. She froze at Pinkie’s door. Her heart told her to knock. Her hoof refused. She shuffled, eyeing the doorknob, counting how many toothmarks had scuffed the polished brass. She tried to guess which ones belonged to Pinkie. Breathe in, breathe out. Giggle at the Ghosties. A hop, a skip, and Twilight’s hoof tapped against the heavy oak door tree times and sat poised and ready for another set. Her stomach dropped into an icy, painful pool of guilt, and she squirmed on the hardwood floor.
Pinkie opened the door, took one look at her, and began to close it. Twilight’s dumb, heroic hoof caught itself between the door and the frame, and she winced.
“Pinkie, I’m sorry,” Twilight pleaded, looking at Pinkie’s angry, hurt eye through the gap in the door. Pinkie tried the door again, and Twilight could feel tears pooling hot in her eyes. “Pinkie, I just wanted you to know that I know I was wrong, and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, and I want to talk. Can we talk?”
“No,” Pinkie half-growled, tugging even harder on the door. Sharp pains shot up Twilight’s foreleg and she whimpered, but her stupid overachiever of a leg refused to budge.
“I haven’t slept in three days,” she admitted softly, still looking at the one eye she could see. “I felt so bad about it, and I know I’m here trying to not feel as guilty anymore, and I know that’s stupid and selfish, and --” Twilight trailed off, hanging her head.
“I get it,” she sighed, “I’ve been a terrible girlfriend, and I should have told you about everything sooner. When I get back, can at least we be friends?” Twilight tried to pull her hoof from the door, but Pinkie held it shut tight, pinning her down.
“No,” Pinkie whimpered. Her eye shimmered with unshed tears, soft and vulnerable.
“I lost your trust, huh?” she grunted, pulling her hoof harder against Pinkie and the door. “Makes sense. I shouldn’t have accepted this stupid diplomatic tour. I shouldn’t have hurt you like that.” Pinkie’s eye widened in alarm. “Just let me know when you want a book or anything, and I’ll make sure Spike’s at the desk,” Twilight continued, tugging harder at her abused leg. “Wouldn’t want to make you see me if it's uncomfortable for you.”
“NO!” Pinkie had opened the door and suddenly Pinkie was hugging her, kissing her, and Twilight had never been so confused in her life. “We can’t be at least friends,” Pinkie whispered in her ear, “Because we’ll still be dating.”
Twilight looked at her, swallowing, waiting for her to continue. Pinkie smiled warmly and stroked her cheek. “I was sad you didn’t tell me you’d be gone for so long, but what’s three months between friends?” Twilight giggled breathily and touched her forehead to Pinkie’s, sighing in sweet surrender as Pinkie’s soft, sweet-smelling mane tickled her snout.
“Pinkie, dear?” Mrs. Cake called from below. “Is Twilight staying for dinner?”
Pinkie looked at Twilight with shimmery eyes and a sweet little grin that made Twilight’s heart flutter. “Would you rather go home and pack?” she asked. “I know you have an early start.”
Twilight smiled and rubbed noses. “No,” she whispered. She was right where she belonged.
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3111847>>3100076>>3104053
Due to popular demand, I think I'm going to edit my story to make it longer than three months...I think I wanted it to fit in with canon somehow, and couldn't see how I could do that longer. But now that I see how it appears to be affecting you all as an audience...yeah, I'll fix it.
And once again, love your work here.
For one, it's a nice callback to the diplomatic run that seems to be a running thing now in this collab. Two, I really, really like seeing some actual input from the Cakes. They're like Pinkie's second parents, and it's kind of sweet to see them so deathly angry at anyone who makes her upset. And three, the emotional back-and-forth is just plain really well done. It does sound like two lovers who can't quit each other having a spat and making up, and they still really do feel like Pinkie and Twi. Keep up the great work! 
I can see which genre you like to write about, huh?
That's cool... I like angst.
The story itself was great. Loved it a whole bunch. It's also my head-canon that Mr. and Mrs. Cake are very protective of Pinkie and think of her as a part of their family, so reading about Mr. Cake's threat was awesome. I had a smile on my face (I'm starting to sound sadistic, aren't I?) and I was anticipating what happened next. Then Pinkie was acting weird, and I really wanted to know what had happened that was so bad. I was also cringing each time Twilight's hoof and the door was mentioned - I know how much it hurts to get your hand slammed in a door.
I have to say, the emotion of this story was handled excellently. Pinkie and Twilight's feelings were, upon re-reading, very clearly shown. My favorite part was when Twilight was telling Pinkie about all the ways she'd avoid her. That was lovely.
Amazing job, though I can't tell which I like better - this one, or the previous... Both are great works. Feel proud, dear author. And write more. Can't wait to read more from you!
Ok, good piece. I love on how Mr. Cake was so protective towards Pinkie and went to the extent of threatening her.
Also I love the part when Twilights hoof was being basically crushed by the door.
And then later when Pinkie forgives Twilight is likely my favorite part. Mrs. Cake ties so perfectly in to, its just a master piece and deserves a larger story, but did well with the space it had, nearly perfectly.