Fault - Drizzle Quill
Author: Drizzle Quill
Prompt: Fault
It’s all her fault.
Her, the pretty, smart, talented alicorn princess with fur as soft as silk and a horn capable of harnessing incredible magical abilities. Her, the pony with the bright violet eyes, like flowers have been picked from the ground and simply placed there, sprouting in such a gorgeous way it’s hard to hate her.
But I do. I hate her with all my heart, for it is her fault.
As she sings her song of love and joy to the world, in a sweet tone such as honey, I alone look on with bitter hatred in my gaze. Others stare with awe and excitement, passionate feelings in their mind for their princess, while I alone have bitter hatred staring her down.
It’s all her fault, and I hate her for it.
Once upon a time, my sisters and I were happy. We played together on an open plateau, and though it was grey, our sister, the one that wasn’t like us, made us smile. She made us laugh. She made us filled with joy until the joy might spill out of us, like an overflowing cup.
I don’t quite know why she chose to move, but one day she told us she wanted to have more adventures, in another town. She packed up her things and she left us.
And the days became grey.
My remaining sister and I had a hard time keeping our smiles. She had always been there to help us. She had always been there to make us overflow with joy. She had even given us affectionate nicknames. But now there was none.
One day, I heard there was a new princess in Equestria. Limestone and I went to visit the coronation, curiosity plaguing us. Who was this new pony that had risen to the ascent of being an alicorn?
We saw the last thing that we ever expected: up there on the balcony of Canterlot Castle was our sister, our missing sister, our Pinkamena, who always insisted we call her Pinkie…and she was staring at the new princess, her eyes glistening with something more than friendship.
She was in love.
Limestone and I were shocked. Our Pinkie, who had called us Inkie and Blinkie, who had brought joy to our lives and had managed to make us happy, had left us…to fall in love? With a pony powerful enough to become a princess, nonetheless. She ruined our lives for love…for that princess. I can hardly bear to say her name, but I can.
I am Marble Pie, but I was once nicknamed Inkie.
Her name is Twilight Sparkle.
And it’s all her fault.
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3101733
Although I'm the mod of this, I think I will do that as well - go through and individually review them. So that we're all combined, knowing we've read the works being posted and all. I think I'll go post something to encourage the others to do the same.
3101733
You have a good point there. I think I'll do that as well.
Ugh, this one hit hard. I'm a sucker for family drama, and this was one well-handled situation in that regard. I love the way that Marble[inky]'s bitterness seeps through the whole piece; it carried the momentum beautifully. Ugh...
Said it before, will say it again: loved this.
The idea of the remaining Pie sisters holding a grudge over "losing" their sister, losing the only thing that brought them happiness in a grey, dreary existence, is a brilliant, unorthodox story concept that seems obvious once it's pointed out. The execution is also good; like Herald said, you can feel her bitterness seep into every single word, make it feel like someone is actually speaking and giving it some real emotional weight. If you can, make this into a short story! 
Oh wow. This one...
Original idea alert.
Checked out your blog, too. Write it. Write it nyaow.
Okay, time for some serious feedback. I really liked the idea behind this. Pinkie's sisters' lives are really pretty sad, now that I think about it. It's weird that I've completely dismissed them as characters - for shame - and didn't even focus on 'em. Kinda depressing to think the ponies forgot about them, and then the audience did, too.
This was an awesome read. It gets bonus points for originality, and I think it'd be a great story. Heck, it could make a long story. Perhaps mysterious things happening to Twilight - all seeming to try and take her out of the picture, but Pinkie's Pinkie Sense keeps savin' her. Then, the big reveal, and - boom! Feels.
I actually think an air of mystery would do a story like this good. If the two sisters were revealed later on with their sad stories, it'd make it all the more emotional and, if done right, make readers sympathize.
...But that's what I got out of this. Great, great job. I'll read it once you decide to write it.
WOW, very well written and someone needs to learn how to forgive...or at least be happy for you sister -_-
This one is powerful, very pushing and likable. I also like the misconception that pinkie left just for twilight (since from when she left they did not know each other, and/ or had no clue each other existed in the first place.) and used the pain and sorrow she had built up over the years and manipulated it in to anger and eventually hatred towards the new-found princess in this short.
All in all, I hope this becomes an actual story and I hope in the possible story the author actually goes into detail on how this affected them more than you did here.
But other than that Great story and continue the good work.