A lonley 18 y/o just lost everything... Can a happy grey derpy turn his life around. Or is he just using a mental vision of her to cope with his trouble?
Chapters (4)
pinkameany
Joined 18th Aug, 2013 ·
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When I went over this with spell check everything was spelled correctly and whatnot. So idk what you mean.
TS;DR
Needs to be proofread. Uses too many cliches and tropes. Unoriginal in many senses. Chapters are too short as well. I suggest you try again with a different story.
Rating: 3 out of 10
Thanks for honest feedback! I know it's copied from alot of stuff, but this is my first story I rushed into it. My next one will be better and proofread checked :)
Hey...this story made me smile a little even though the tone was...(pause for pun)...gray. A man with nothing left in his life is given a chance to bring light into it only to find out he had been in a coma. The ending was pretty good as well. Heck I would have a letter written 3 seconds before I was given the chance to go to equestria too. Some of us wish for something more and the main c got it. Thanks for a great read...really gave me a boost today.
3069807 thank you for reading i'm glad it boosted your day. Sometimes taking a huge chance in life is worth it. You just have to be able to take that first step.
What I can see that people will hate on is that it is the same human with a sad backstory trope thing, and that it is similar to My little dashie kinda but other than that and grammar and that kind of stuff it was okay
3070293
It was also kinda short two sorry for forgetting that
(For all who read this) It is meant to be a small story, because later on ill be making stories about what they did during the 20 years they spent together.
Update#1 Every morning a new chapter will be created for each year ending this story with the first 3 chapters. Plus 20 additional chapters. Thanks for your time and for reading my first story /)
Might want to take off the Complete status, if you are updating this. I'm just saying.
(Update #2) I have big plans for this story. Just waiting for my net to get back on.
It's a good story, and has real potential, but the chapters were extremely short.
If you plan on adding new chapters you'd do best to edit them into this story for a more complete version.
Well that escalated quickly
Yay Derpy!