I don't remember much. If I could, I would tell you my name or where I'm from, if I could remember. The worst part is that I can't even tell you who my parents are. I wish I could, I really do, but I can't. That really scares me. I can't even remember the one mare in the entire world that loves more than any pony else. It makes me cry every single time I think of it. I can tell you two things: I am four years old and I am very, very scared.
I found myself lost in a forest. I don't remember why I started, but I'm running. It might have been the thunder that came from every direction. It might have been the scary faces I see on the trees everywhere I go. It might just be the idea of being trapped in a storm. Whatever the reason may be, I'm running for my life, and I'm not going to stop until this forest is miles away. The only problem is the darkness. No matter where I go, no matter which way I turned, there was the darkness. I ran into it for only five seconds, and I was lost. I couldn't tell left from right. I couldn't even see my own hand in front of my face.
I ran in every direction possible, but I couldn't find a way out. Everything scared me. The thunder, the twisted trees, and the darkness. The darkness was the worst. Everywhere I ran, it followed. No matter how fast or in what direction, it was there. I ran for miles and miles. I tried to make as much noise as possible, but there was only one thing I could really do: stomp. My hope was that the sound of my hoof hitting the floor as hard as I could, some pony would hear me. My hopes were dashed when I tripped. I turned to my back and I saw that it was too late, the darkness had already engulfed me. I curled up into a ball and started crying. I cried out for my mother, but there was no response. "Mommy! Mommy!" Every cry was ignored, until she came.
I gave up hope and just cried. There was nothing else I could do, but roll up in a ball, close my eyes, and cry. I don't know how long I was there, but it felt like hours. The worst part was the occasional "Mommy" that would slip from my muzzle. Suddenly, the rain stopped. There was a faint golden glow, but I didn't want to open my eyes. I still cried and the occasional "Mommy" would slip out. I felt a hand petting my head trying to comfort me. I still didn't move or stop crying. The pony leaned down and whispered in my ear. Her voice was soft and delicate, but firm and authoritative at the same time.
"There, there," the voice said, "It's alright. You have nothing to fear anymore." The voice repeated this over and over until I stopped crying. I looked up and saw a beautiful white pegasus, but she had a horn that was glowing gold. The darkness was gone and it was because of her. I noticed that it was still raining, but her wings shielded me. "See, I told you that you have nothing to fear. Now, are you alright?"
I repositioned myself so I was sitting on my hooves. I nodded my head, but then I thought about it and then shook my head. I started crying again. She started petting the back of my head and waited for me to stop.
"What's wrong?" she asked when I recomposed myself. I didn't say anything. I couldn't say anything, even if I wanted to. I was still scared. The trees still looked twisted and had scary faces. She noticed how much I was shaking and her horn started glowing brighter. Suddenly, the trees went back to normal. They no longer had faces, they just had bark. "There, now can you tell me what's wrong?"
"I'm scared," I told her with a quiver of fear in my voice.
"Well you're fine now. What's your name?"
"I-I don't remember."
"It's okay. Do you know where you are?"
I shook my head.
"Okay. How old are you?"
I held up four fingers. I could barely talk. Even with her sweet and comforting voice, I was still afraid.
"Do you know who I am?"
I shook my head again.
"Alright, I'm going to take you to Ponyville. It's the closest town and I assume you're from there. I'm going to help you find your mommy."
"I don't know who my mommy is," I said as I started crying again. She looked at me and started to comfort me again.
"I'm still going to take you to Ponyville. Somepony has to be taking care of you."
She helped me to my hooves and offered her hand. I took it and we started to walk out of the forest. Everything was different on our way out. The trees looked like they were begging to be climbed, there were sounds of birds chirping and animals playing, the sun was bursting through the trees. Everything scary about this forest was gone. I looked up at the winged unicorn and she was smiling. It made me feel like everything in the world was good. That while she was smiling, there was no evil in the world. When she smiles, all the darkness goes away. It made me smile too, which made her smile bigger.
We found our way out of the forest and I saw Ponyville. There were ponies going in and out of every store and were on every street. I thought it was amazing and beautiful and big. I must have dragged my jaw the entire time I was walking with the winged unicorn.
As we walked along, the ponies in the streets were bowing to us. I was a little confused as to why, I mean she's just another pony, so what if she was born with both wings and a horn.
"Miss," I said as I looked up to her, "Why are they bowing?"
"Well, it's because..." She was interrupted by two white pegasi wearing armor and a chariot strapped to both of their backs.
"Princess Celestia," one of them said "We need to get you back to Canterlot."
I was shocked that a princess would even take the time to save me, but also help me find my mommy. I was honored that she would take the time out of her busy day.
"Miss, you didn't tell me you are a princess."
She leaned down to talk to me eye to eye "It doesn't matter little one. When you show kindness and compassion, it should come from the kindness of your heart and not because you have to." She stood back up to address the entire crowd. "Is there anypony who knows this colt's name?"
There was no response. Some of the ponies even started examining me closer. I got scared and started to hide behind Princess Celestia's leg.
"Does anypony know who takes care of orphan ponies?"
Again, there was no response.
"Princess," said the other guard, "We need to go now."
"I'm sorry, my little pony, but your mother isn't here. Maybe we’ll have better luck in Canterlot."
The princess picked me up and stepped onto the chariot. The pegasi took off carrying us with them. As they flew further and further away from Ponyville, my hopes of finding my mommy grew more and more. I think Princess Celestia knew this and she gave me a pat on the back to try and reassure me.
barely.
we'll.
Should be a semicolon, not a comma.
I look forward to more.
Sincerely, Omega
recommendation: put this through MSWord first and fix spelling and grammar.
2983432
Thanks for the tip. I just did it and made the changes.
nice history... I will be waiting for more
Why is it tagged anthro when there's a picture of Celestia as a human?
Humanized Celestia for cover, and an anthro tag. Either you are just using a very misleading picture on purpose, or you are confused. In case it is the latter let me just tell you that humanized is not the same as anthro.
Could be fleshed out more, and does seem to be moving a tad too fast. Still, a very nice premise and good start.
The word you should be using is reposition
...Hmmm potential for sure, a bit fast and I must ask is then Anthro really necessary?
2984657 Author couldn't find an anthro picture of celestia. Or one that is sfw.
2984675
They're out there, just got to know where to look.
Love it but please take your time.
2984657
It's Anthro because I struggled with them as actual ponies. There was just something that I couldn't get down, so I made them anthro.
2984747
Ah... ok then... about the cover art, are you having trouble finding a anthro Celestia picture?
2984765
YES! Everywhere I look it's either NSFW or it doesn't capture her compassion. I would be grateful if you could fine me one.
2984776
Ok then, Since I am unsure to what extent the anthropomorphism of the ponies go I can give you a site that has SFW Anthro!Celestia. Protect Celestia and ProtectPonyPrincesses. The first one has a pretty good size collection but you will have to sort through nonAntro images, and the second it all four of the princesses. Hope it helps
2984433>>2984418 In the author's defense do you know how hard it is to find a Picture of Anthro Celestia that's SFW or doesn't have her tits threatening to fall out of the bikini she's wearing. The only decent one I could find was fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/021/2/d/mep__princess_celestia_by_ryuukiba-d4n6jgv.jpg I actually had to turn Safesearch on to help me find one
This will go in my read later. I look forward to looking through it.
I really do enjoy this story - However I kinda forgot that it was 'antro' and assumed that it was 'pony' until I got to the part with "four fingers" and looked in the comments realizing it was antro.
Also have you considered requesting a cover art? Its seems as if some negativity has swelled up about it's current cover art depicting a human and not an anthro.(however, It doesn't bother me any bit at all)
2984830
What about this?
derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTMvMDMvMjYvMDBfMTBfMzhfMzE5XzI3OTUxN19fVU5PUFRfX3NhZmVfcHJpbmNlc3NfY2VsZXN0aWFfYW50aHJvX21hZ2ljX21hY3JvXzUwZGViNzZjYTRjNzJkNTMxMzAwMTI0OV9jcmVhdGlvbl81MTUwZTc3Y2E0YzcyZDY1YWEwMDBlMGQuanBnIl1d/279517.jpg
2985173
I don't know anyone that is willing to do it for free.
okay... im surprised i like this story, i usually hate Celestia. good work
2985754 Well some folks manage to link you some cover art for your story. Hopefully you manage to use one of them.
(/Jontron) this gon be a good story.
'twas good, could be improved upon in ways of writing style.
In the prologue there are a buckton of errors, but this one seems to be fine. More details would be nice, though. I will be examining this closely. *sips wine*
Just started to read this after getting a recommendation on it. So I'm going to say so far I'm seeing extremely promising things in the future, I'll add more comments as I read further but, it's like 3:38AM here so I'll be adding it to my favorites, read later, and giving you a like. It seems good and I always give stories the benefit of the doubt though most mommylestia fics tend to end up very good.
*some one hurts the child* (disorded voice) time to die!!! *beats him to a pulp*
I honestly think you should keep them as ponies, not sometimes pony, sometimes human,
4462583 why you complaining
It's tagged antro
I have little to no interest in the whole 'anthro' Pony genre but the nearly instantaneous transition from night to day really threw me for a loop. Maybe you could polish that up a bit. To my surprise, I haven't found a single spelling error yet. Kudos.
What does anthro mean?
6108941
Anthro is a shortened form of "Anthropomorphic" or the act of humanizing, or giving human features or appearances, to a non-human object, usually animals, or even inanimate objects.
Some examples that are well known is the internet sub-culture of Furries, which are animals given humanoid features, the Ninja Turtles, which are humanized turtles from a cartoon, and Pixar's "Cars" series where they have human faces and emotions as well as a similar government. There are other examples, but the gist of it is as I mentioned above.
In the case of this story, the ponies are still the same character-wise, but they stand as bipeds, have hands with fingers instead of hooves, and most importantly for the purpose of humanizing (or clopping), mammaries / breasts like a human woman (if a mare).
Hope this helps.
6110193 well done on explaining
Hmm, another Motherlestia fic! I say that, but I actually haven't read many yet... Well, I heard good things from it, and it's over 100K words, so let's hope...
One question though. While the anthro tag doesn't bother me, mind telling me where does the fic stands on the anthro chart?
EDIT:
In the next chapter, you use anypony and somepony as one word, here it's two
chapter 1 awwwwwwww sniff sniff
Ponys....don't have......fingers........I ...think? Maybe it's must me
7508690
Dude it's anthro it don't make sense
still needs details in my opinion but it is good I'll keep reading.