Spray Kicker didn't win any favours from his family by walking away from his "destiny." He wanted to paint; they wanted him to serve. Spending time pursuing his true destiny was rewarding, except to the ponies who were related to him.
So, he dropped by Fort Lancer in the San Paolomino desert, accompanied by Twilight Velvet, one of Equestria's most accomplished authors, in search of inspiration. What he found was...himself. Himself, and a lot of other, less pleasant, things.
Tangentially part of the Winningverse.
Chapters (16)
hmm, i cant tell where you're going with this, so ill put this in my read later, but in every case ive seen, kickers never force their kids to be military except for training just to help them in life reguardless, and they dont obligate them, just encourage them very very strongly
im sure spray could've joined the long patrol for a few years if his family pressuring him mattered that much and being a painter might take a few years so he could also be getting some bits, as well as having a few good stories to tell
oh well to each their own i suppose
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Well, I'd say this could easily just be attributed to the fact that no family the size of the Kickers is going to be in lock-step. There's no clan-wide "you must be a Guard" policy, but I could certainly see some individual and particularly driven parents pushing their kids way too hard. To me at least, the story read less like the whole clan was trying to force Spray to carry on, and more like his parents were really pushing things so they'd look good in front of the rest of the clan.
Cloud's cameo in Chapter 2 does seem a bit off. She's generally not the sort to get utterly plastered, especially not at a major pubic event. She doesn't mind a bit of social drinking, but she usually practices a degree of moderation.
Intriguing thus far. Not sure where this is going to go, especially since Twilight's mother is apparently Spray's co-star, but I look forward to finding out.
Interesting start. The characters are appealing and fairly well rounded, I'm curious to see where you go with this
My biggest issue is how the story suddenly jumps ahead a large chunk of years and this isn't made immediately clear. It means at the start of this chapter I was rather baffled before everything clicked into place. I don't love how "You must join" you're portraying the Kickers, it sort of feels a touch distorted as though Spray is simply remembering things inaccurately for the sake of teenage angst. Simply because in the other winningverse stuff that impression isn't given as strongly.
Interesting, again the time skip was a bit confusing, in this case though it's less that time has passed and more that I'm not entirely sure of how much time has passed.
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I'll go back and smooth out that wrinkle when I've wrapped everything up. Right now I believe the best direction to go is forwards.
Uh oh. Goodbye sandcastle?
Bum bum bum...
I do not want to be Thunder Kicker right now. The Captain of the Guard's on his way, and you just lost his mother. Yikes.
Ahh, writers and their legendary talent for alcohol consumption...
"With friends like these, who needs enemies"?
Umm?
=cannot parse=
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oh yikes, that's true...
Time. to. PANIC!
So far, this is fun and interesting, and the story is well put together.
...That said, you need an editor. Confusing sentence structures and typos abound.
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Great to hear! I'll make a distress call in the Editors group shortly.
2836829
for editors groups and double 
for new chapter! 
I'm not sure whether I was hoping for them to be dead or not...blame Eakin and his awesome grimdark
2818466
It says in the third paragraph that it's been three weeks since the unveiling.
2838623 I had noticed that but to me if there's a time change it needs to be more obvious and apparent and waiting til the third paragraph to say as much didn't sit well for me.
2836829
So I'm the new editor apparently! Please send any and all complaints about editing mistakes (after the next chapter, please) to me!
HatemailFeedback is very much appreciated.2840778
Great! Will get on it shortly!
Good to see how Shining reacts in a crisis when he isn't in a hypno-coma
well, we all saw that coming
these poor bastards just can't catch a break
If the Silver Nation thinks holding Twilight's mother hostage is a good idea...
Well, crossbows are all well and good, but it's hard to pull a trigger when you find yourself turned into a cactus.
In any case, definitely looking forward to more, especially now that there's a developing chase situation.
This can only end badly.
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Yes, but end badly for whom? My guess is "Everyone, especially Mace."
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Or so Thunder hopes...
So... why is getting over the beam suddenly home safe for the Silver Nation? Surely Equestria's diplomats are capable of lying.
This feels forced, simply because a significant percentage of the guard seems to cease to exist for plot purposes. I guess they were distracted by the other Silver Nation ponies, but since I never really got a sense of their comparative numbers, I'm not sure how much that explains.
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There's the question of who has more goodwill among the other nations: Celestia's domain, or the plucky underdogs who resist her rule. Assuming, of course, that's how they appear on the world stage.
On the other hand, an enraged princess glassing over a swath of enemy territory in order to retrieve her mother will, if nothing else, leave the other nations too busy soiling themselves to complain.
2997112 The thing is, regardless of how other nations see the conflict, it's clear that the truth doesn't matter at all because if they were rescuing kidnapped ponies the mission is legit. Obviously, the Silver Nation is going to claim that they captured Equestrians who were invading their territory whether or not the Equestrians actually do -- otherwise they have no excuse for taking and holding prisoners.
So whether or not the Equestrians cross the border is completely irrelevant to the diplomatic situation.
FATE WORSE THAN DEATH!!!
"Equestrian Hostile Intentions Rampart"? Seriously? How the crap can anyone say that with a straight face? The rest I can accept as typical propaganda, but "Hostile Intentions Rampart"?
In any case, whatever comes next is going to be a heck of a doozy. Though part of me still wants to see Twilight go absolutely nuts in order to get her mommy back.
Dun dun dunnnnn! Spray been shot!
They just can't catch a break, can they? Looking forward to the resolution of this cliffhanger.
Dumb dumb DUUUUUUUMMBB!!
Huh. I kept expecting things to go sour, but it went better than expected. Of course, the political fallout is going to be troublesome, but at least that's the worst thing there is to worry about.
Oh, and Spray's condition. Still, he's the title character. I give him, oh, an 85% chance of surviving to the end of the story.
spray has obviously never watched predator...
It's Over!
twas a fun little romp if I do say so myself.
A most enjoyable story. Thank you for it.
some of the dialouge in this chapter was confusing (luna and he, all of the dialouge before he woke up) but other wise this was an awesome chapter and an awesome story
If you want a proofreader https://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/
Should be either:
"Why didn't they watch...." or
"Why weren't they watching..."
2834859
Did you look under the sofa cushions?
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=lyrics+how+high+is+the+water+mama&&view=detail&mid=E882CC8CCD6BE2EEB883E882CC8CCD6BE2EEB883&&FORM=VRDGAR