The Inconveniencing Adventures of a Washout Kicker

by IC1s5


15

Good news was that Thunder Kicker was very familiar with these injuries. Velvet wasn’t hurt too bad. The arrow hit the meaty part of her leg, and the wound was clean. Removing the arrowhead was quick, albeit painful. Old Tom, however, was nowhere near finished with Spray.


The shaft had gone through his wing. About a third of the shaft protruded through the wing, and that was the only part they took off. The wing itself was immobilized. Nopony was going to touch the arrow until they got back to the infirmary.


The sniper went down easy. Seven Silver ponies confirmed down. Seven. Nopony could see what happened to the last one standing. Thunder was cursing himself. Stupid, stupid, stupid!


Silver nation pony in the San Paolomino? They should be lucky the Silver prince wasn’t on their plots as it was! If they were lucky (and the overwhelming case was that they weren’t) Shining Armour could tangle up the Silver nation long enough for them to make good their escape.


Decision time: Spray couldn’t fly, enemies closing in. Now what? Ah, the life of a guard pony officer. I wouldn’t give up the world for it!


“Alright,” Thunder announced to his group, “we need a plan.”


“Got this,” Mace said. He found a good sized rock and curled up, resting his head upon it. He closed his eyes, mumbling to himself.


“What are you doing?” Thunder asked, dreading the reply.


“I’ve got an in with Princess Luna,” Mace explained. “Give me a minute to reach her.”


It’s outside the box, I’ll give him that.


Velvet snorted. “I wouldn’t doubt it would work.”


“What do you mean?” Thunder asked.


“You know what he asked for?” Velvet said.


“Only the broad strokes.”


Velvet explained to Thunder what Mace had asked for when he attempted to contact the princess through his dream. Every tasteless and crude thing he asked about her daughter, to, as he put it, “refine the experience.”


Thunder wrinkled his nose. “That was...was...”


“I know,” Mace said. “Best of all, it worked!”


Her royal highness did seem irritated that we could no longer geld ponies as punishment.


Spray brought everypony back to focus with a yelp of pain. Thunder only had a limited amount of pain medication, the kind that could mask pain but not fully remove it. He couldn’t afford to make Spray illucid right now.


“You okay?” Redundant question to ask, but Thunder felt he had to ask it.


Spray nodded. “Fine...hurts...”


“I know,’ Thunder said. “All right! Everypony! Here’s the plan: sling the civvies over your backs and run. Run for the beam.”


Telling a group of pegasi to hoof it would not go over well, but Thunder didn’t see any other choice. Dividing his forces did not seem like a good idea. They get jumped, Thunder would lose half his ponies. Best thing to do was to do get as close to the beam was possible, then take to the air. Closer they were, the faster they could all go over.


Thunder turned to face Spray. “I know it hurts. Just channel that pain into energy, and you’ll make it through.”


Spray winced. He had come this far. He could make it. Just a little ways further. He took a few experimental steps forwards. He really needed to push himself to make the pain anything more than ambient noise.


Thunder knew the look on his nephew’s face well. Lived it way too often for a guard pony to want to.


“Okay,” he stammered, for himself as much as for Thunder.


He was still steady on his hooves. He could do this. He would have to. He gritted his teeth, thought of his country, Coral and every else that was remotely precious to him, and how badly he wanted to be back home.


“All right then. Think of your mare, and you will make it back.”


Spray nodded.


Thunder now raced amongst his ponies, readying them for the trip back.


“Secure the other one!” Thunder ordered.


Velvet was flung over the back of a pony. She squeaked a little out of pain. Still, she had to admit, it was nice to have an excuse for studying the well formed rump of a handsome stallion. Something good was coming out of this.


“Secure the captive!”


Corona looked bewildered. Apparently the bit finally dropped who the captive was this time around. A couple of ponies moved uncomfortably close to him.


“Ready?”


“Sir yes sir!”


“All right!” Thunder yelled. “Move out!”


The ponies began to run; Spray found it hard to keep up. One hoof before the other...it brought back some very bad memories of the mandatory runs at West Hoof during his brief time there. A pegasus on the ground was a humiliating thing.


No other choice, Thunder thought. If I put too many pegasi in the air, not enough are going to be on the ground. I hate gambling. At least, now I do.


At least they were making good time.


“Is it good?” Corona asked.


“Not bad,” Mace said, “better than iguana, anyway.”


“Mace,” Thunder barked, “stop fraternizing with the captive.”



#


Pinion didn’t so much leap out of the chariot as gracelessly fall out of it. He almost tumbled head over tail down the sand. Shining was already off, surveying the terrain for weak spots and possible areas of attack.


He had only a dozen ponies with him. A lot fewer than the situation called for.


“Gimme...,” Pinion wheezed. “Minute.”


“Did you ponies in Fillydelphia bother to exercise?” Shining asked.


“Getting out bed count?”


Whatever the exercise regiment was for the guard in Fillydelphia, Shining decided that it was nowhere near enough. But that would, and could, wait.


Thunder’s ponies should be here any second now. He nervously licked his lips.


Shining felt frustrated at being unable to bolt across the beam to help Thunder where he was. His hooves were tied. Even if Equestria’s border had been violated, the rules, the indifferent rules, stated nopony was going over. Thunder taking matters in hoof was another; the captain of the guard crossing the beam was a blatant declaration of war. Celestia would not welcome that.


It was maddening: every time the situation came within inches of being solved, another ordeal was thrown his way. As captain of the guard, it was to be expected. Battles often shifted, and rapidly, from one extreme to another. Bringing his mother into one ate at him.


Celestia willing, this torment would end soon. Somewhere Thunder’s group was returning, emerging somewhere from the shimmering haze. A risky move to take, but he wouldn’t be too hard on Thunder if he pulled it off.


“Binoculars,” Shining ordered.


A pony fumbled in his saddlebag and pulled them out, holding them out for Shining Armour. Shining accepted them. He scanned the sky. Nothing yet.


A train of ponies appeared on the ground. Not what Shining expected, but this day was anything but normal.


“They’re coming in on the ground!”


A larger cloud of dust was rapidly closing in from behind the ponies. It did not look like they were aware of that fact.


“Prepare to repel invaders!” Shining yelled. “I want crossbows, here, now!”


Ponies scampered. Spears and wing blades were mounted. A couple of pegasus ponies took to the air.


Shining relished the opportunity to get his hooves dirty.





#


The beam was coming into sight. Crumbling, vaguely grey in colour. Spray was on the verge of collapsing in relief. Just a few steps more. He kept fighting to put one hoof before the other. Before long he would be home.


“It’s strange,” Corona said, “seeing it from the other side after being over it.”



“Well, I believe the intention was to scare us.”


“Did it work?” Mace asked.


“Well, no,” Corona said, “I mean, sand? You guys on a budget or something?”


Thunder figured he would be merciful and let his nephew have a few minutes to gulp and gasp for air. “A minute,” he called. “A minute, and we can fly the rest of the way.”


His ponies were on the verge of cheering. Pegasus ponies were not meant to be runners. Velvet looked very relieved. His nephew needed a couple more pain pills. He walked over to Spray, who was teetering on his hooves.


He double checked the wound. The rushed job appeared to be holding. Everything Thunder knew about medicine could fit on the back of a postcard. Get them patched up good enough and long enough to get to the doctor.


“Here.” Thunder fished a bottle of pills out of his bag, and rummaged for his canteen.


Spray popped it into his mouth and took a deep swig of water. “Thanks.”


“Holding up?”


Spray sighed. “I am going to need to sleep for a month after this.”


“I wouldn’t blame you. After my first taste of battle...”


The story could wait. The past could lie dormant; Thunder had his hooves full with a very tempestuous present.


“I’m sorry all this went bad,” Thunder said.


“Don’t mention it,” Spray replied. “Not your fault.”


“You’ve done very, very well,” Thunder said. “You may not have filled the Kicker mold, but you’ve still done the family proud, in my mind.”


Thunder gave his nephew at pat on the flank. The wrong flank. He blushed and uttered a quick apology.


Spray grunted. “Just get me to a doctor.”


“Yes, sir,” Thunder said. “C’mon.”


He guided Spray towards the beam. If Thunder squinted, he was sure that there were ponies already lined the beam. Friendly faces, thank Celestia! Some of them were frantically gesturing to look behind them.


“Sir.” A pony gestured at a large cloud of dust. That could mean only one thing.


A large number of ponies was bearing down on their location. It was astounding to be reminded how fast Silver ponies could move, especially when they were motivated.


Oh Luna, not again


“Hey!” Corona excitedly waved, “It’s Captain Scorpio!”


Scorpio was taking a foremost position within the crowd of ponies. Thunder checked with his binoculars, and noticed the redness of his eyes. Getting over the beam took on an additional urgency.


“Over the beam!” Thunder yelled, admittedly a redundant request. “Get moving!”


Immediately Thunder was mentally prioritizing. They were, once again, going to clash. Thunder needed to get the civilians safe.


“Velvet! Get Velvet out of here!”


Two ponies grabbed Velvet by her forelegs. They leapt into the sky. Thunder watched as they disappeared behind the beam. Scorpio, having lost his chief advantage over Equestria, was not going to like that one bit.


“Spray! Hoof it! We’ll watch your back!”


Spray opened his mouth to protest. Thunder and three other ponies were preparing to stand their ground. He was too hurt. Nothing to be done. He turned away, his heart heavy, and began to head to the beam.


Behind him he heard the shouts and sounds of the two groups colliding together. Metal and wood striking together, and striking bodies, unpleasant sounds. It sounded like there were more Silver ponies than Equestrians.


Spray dug his hooves into the beam and ran. The sand crumbled underneath his hooves, giving no traction. He gritted his teeth and pushed on, his wound beginning to ache with renewed anger.


Thunder knocked a Silver pony into next week. Two others were left, easily dispatched, but help was on the way. More than they could handle.


“Fall back!” Thunder called. The fight wasn’t going their way, best to fall back to where they had reinforcements. It was a hard fight back. The guard ponies were more disciplined and equipped and better trained than the Silver nation ponies, but the Silver’s ferocity could not be denied.


Scorpio strode forwards out of the fray. Scratches ran along his face from where he had earlier fought off Equestrian ponies. He did not look like he was in a good mood.


With a determination that a pony did not normally display, he bounded after the retreating ponies. Where the Equestrians struggled trying to get moving through the thick sand, Scorpio moved like he was walking on air. He brushed past Thunder’s group before they could react.


“Boss!” Corona called. “Good to see you! I’ve...”


The final word was caught in Corona’s throat. Scorpio made a quick gesture; Corona fell to the ground, eyes wide, blood leaking onto the ground. Scorpio turned and began to run.


Thunder yelped as Scorpio tore through. He made a quick swing of his wing blades, harming nothing but empty air.


Mace stood his ground. “Have at you!”


Scorpio knocked him out of his way like he was a foal. Now he was facing Spray. Murder was in his eyes.


Spray had one blade on his “good” wing. Better than nothing.


Scorpion gave a growl and swung. He had a blade on his right forehoof. It made contact with Spray’s wing blade. The clang of metal-on-metal was almost defeaning.


Spray struggled to stay steady on his hooves. Scorpio’s blows were strong, and Spray struggled to keep up. His hooves were finding it hard to find purchase. He was holding his own. Just.


He squinted. Scorpio loomed overhead. Moving slowly, assured in his triumph. Looking cocky. Spray’s wing was aching like there was no tomorrow. Still, he needed it to hold together, just for one minute more.


Spray made one quick, desperate slash. Giving it everything he had, summoning every shred of energy that he had left.


Scorpio gasped. He staggered backwards. A thin ribbon of blood was forming along his midsection. Scorpio managed to recompose himself, beginning, if laboriously, to close in again on Spray.


“Here!” Thunder’s blade rammed home. Scorpio, surprisingly, made no sound. He just fell.


“Spray?” Thunder asked, speeding over to his nephew. No time to take pride in his triumph---Spray’s welfare took priority.


“Fine,” Spray gasped. He flexed his wing, now determinedly numb. It hung limply at his side. He pulled of the blade.


“Good work.” Thunder lightly tapped his nephew on the side.


Spray nodded. He just felt relieved that it was over.


“Let’s get out of here.”


“A minute,” Spray said.


He found himself creeping over to Scorpio’s body. Curiosity was building. Aside from a couple of funerals, he had never been in the presence of a freshly killed pony. Still warm, alive mere seconds ago. Now lying dead.


If Thunder hadn’t intervened, Spray would have had to kill Scorpio himself. Didn’t matter how he felt about his family, his destiny---he would have no choice.


Spray nudged the body. Not the smartest thing to do, but he felt compelled to do so.


Scorpio suddenly erupted. His hoof hit hard against Spray’s head. The world went black.