• Published 23rd Jun 2013
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Pinkie Pie and her experiance with death. - Mrchibivampire



What happend's when you die? Pinkie is about to find out.

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The only chapter

It was an ordinary day in Ponyville. The birds were singing, the sun was shining and everypony seemed to be in a good mood.

Twilight and Pinkie were enjoying a nice afternoon snack at Sugarcube corner, Pinkie was trying to beat her old how many sugar donuts can you eat in less than two

minutes record.

”PINKIE you need to stop right now!” Twilight shouted.

“Why do I have to stop Twilight?” Pinkie asked while shoving donuts down her throat.

”Eating that many sugar donuts so fast is not good for you. You might have a heart attack.”

“Oh Twilight don't be such a silly nilly mac silly pants, I'll be just fine."

Those were the last words Pinkie said before falling down from the table and passing out. Twilight ran up to Pinkie and tried to get some kind of response from her,

but Pinkie only laid there, her right leg twitching and foaming from her mouth.

“Somepony call an ambulance I think Pinkie had a heart attack!” She yelled.

Twilight had started giving pinkie CPR heart massage and mouth to mouth while waiting for the ambulance. It only took the ambulance two minutes to arrive at the scene,

the medics asked Twilight what had happened and after a brief explanation they loaded pinkie into the ambulance and started to make there way to towards the hospital. Twilight was holding Pinkies hoof and stroking her mane while whispering you're going to be alright Pinkie, over and over until they reached the hospital.

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Meanwhile pinkie was hovering next to the table where she and Twilight were having their snack just a moment ago. Pinkie noticed the huge crowd of ponies and was

wondering what was going on, she also noticed an ambulance next to Sugar cube corner.

Pinkie made her way towards the crowd only to see herself lying on the ground twitching and foaming out the mouth. Then suddenly she was being gripped by a giant

pale hoof and it was pulling her through a dark portal. Pinkie wanted to scream for help but she was unable to do so, It was almost like the hoof was draining her

strength and she lost her conscience after a short while.

When she came back to her senses she had a massive headache and was feeling strange. She started to look around herself but all she could see was a dark mist that

was surrounding her, but far away she noticed a light, she started to run towards the light in hope of finding some answers.

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Back at Ponyville general hospital twilight was beginning to dig a circular hole in the ground around one of the tables inside the hospital, while she was waiting

for news about her friend. A nurse came to Twilight and told her to sit down she then asked Twilight if she wanted something to drink while she waited.

“No thanks. I'll be fine” Twilight answered

The nurse nodded her head and smiled then she started walking down the corridor until she was out of Twilight’s sight. A few hours later a pony wearing a white robe

and glasses told Twilight to follow him into his office. Inside the Doctors office he had told Twilight to take a seat and that he had some bad news.

“Your friend Pinkamena Diane Pie has suffered a severe heart attack and she is currently in a comatose state.” the doctor said in a professional but emotionless tone.

Twilight did not know how to react she simply started to cry and she asked the doctor if she could see Pinkie. The doctor shook his head and told Twilight that they

wanted to observe Pinkies condition for twenty-four hours before any visitors were allowed. He then suggested that Twilight would go home and get some rest, the

hospital would inform Pinkies' family and her current guardians.

Twilight was crushed after the news about Pinkie and she was crying out audible. The same nurse that had offered Twilight something to drink walked up to her and

started hugging her tightly and comforting her, the nurse told Twilight that it was the standard procedure and if she had any questions she would answer them to the

best of her knowledge.

After a few minutes Twilight had calmed down and thanked the nurse for being there for her. The nurse smiled and told Twilight that it was her job she then asked

Twilight if she wanted anything to help her sleep. Twilight was a little shocked by the suggestion but she accepted the nurse's offer, the nurse smiled and walked away..

A few minutes later she came back with a small pill bottle and handed them to Twilight.

“There you go sweetie, and don't you worry we will take good care of your friend.” The nurse flashed a gentle smile.

Twilight thanked her and started walking back to her home at the library, once she arrived she saw that all of her closest friends was inside waiting for her. Once

she opened the door her friend wanted to hear everything that had happened. Twilight eyes started to water and she told her friends everything that had happened, her

friends were shocked to hear that Pinkie had suffered a heart attack and was currently in a coma.

All of Twilight's friends were sad and did not know what to say, AppleJack was the one that broke the silence and suggested that they should all go and visit Pinkie

in the morning, everyone nodded in silence. It was only a short moment later that everyone returned to their homes to get some rest.

Spike was laying on the floor sobbing, Twilight walked over to him and hugged him, she told him that everything was going to be fine, she then told him to go to bed

so that they could get up early the next day so they could visit Pinkie as fast and as soon as the hospital opened. Spike nodded and walked over to his basket, the

whole ordeal had drain all off his strength. So he fell asleep shortly after closing his eyes.

Twilight went into her bathroom and looked at the pills inside the bottle, she was unsure whether to take one or not. Twilight brushed her teeth and swallowed one of

the pills, she then walked to her bed. She kneeled down, put her hooves together and prayed to the heavens that her friend Pinkie was going to be alright, she then

climbed into bed and thanks to the pill she fell asleep in a matter of minutes.

Pinkie finally arrived at the light only to become even more confused. Before her were three separate ponds. The water in the ponds were crystal clear and each one

of them were shimmering like a diamond. Pinkie carefully reach over to touch the middle pond, once her hoof made contact with the waters surface it started to ripple. Pinkie moved a little bit closer and gazed into the pond, it was completely dark she could not even see her own reflection in the pond, Pinkie did not know what to think of this strange yet beautiful pond. Pinkie continued to gaze into the pond she was mesmerized by the beauty of the complete lack of color, she once again dipped her hoof in the pond to make some more ripples.

As she was about to touch the surface of the water again, she felt that something had grabbed her hoof and was trying to pull her inside. Pinkie struggled with all her

might but to no avail, then something was emerging from the pond. Once it was halfway out of the pond Pinkie realized that the thing was a pony.

The thing looked at Pinkie and let out a soul tearing scream. The things appearance made Pinkies skin crawl, it was something right out of a nightmare. The thing

looked like an ethereal skeleton it had no eyes only two black holes, it looked like it was surrounded by a very thick mist, it’s whole body was shining with a faded

green light which emanated from its chest.

The thing continued to scream as it was pulling Pinkie closer to the pond, it refused to let go of Pinkies hoof. Pinkie was scared, she was crying and trying to

struggle her hoof out of the things grasp but it was impossible. The more Pinkie pulled the tighter the grip got, Pinkie was losing her strength and was slowly

getting pulled closer to the pond.

Pinkie was begging for somepony to save her. Then seemingly out of nowhere a scythe came swooping down and severed the things ethereal hoof from it's body. The thing

sank back down into the pond with a deafening shriek. Pinkie was safe.

Pinkie looked all around the place but she could not see her savior, she then heard a noise from above. She carefully looked up into the sky and saw four huge red

eyes staring down at her, she saw a black mist starting to form around the red eyes as it started to descend from the sky. Pinkie tried to run but she realized that

she was stuck in something white that had the same sticky texture of cotton candy.

She was trapped all she could do was to look at the monster that was descending down from the heavens. As it got closer pinkie noticed that it had eight spider like

appendages which it used to make it's descend down to ground level. Once the monster reach the ground Pinkie could see that it was at least five times her size, she

cowered on the ground with her hooves over her head she was sniveling and once again begging that somepony would save her.

Pinkie had never been so scared on her entire life, she was so scared but she could not look away. The monster looked like a centaur but instead of the lower body of

a horse it was the lower body of a spider, it's head looked similar to that of a unicorn except for the four dragon like eyes, the monster horn looked to be the same

size of Celestia's. Upon its back were two huge arms that looked like they belonged to a dragon. Once the monster was only a few meters away from her she realized

that just like the thing from the pond it was bare bones. A black liquid was oozing from it’s body and onto the floor. Maggots, the monster was covered in maggots.

And not the normal tiny maggots, these maggots where at least as big as Pinkies own hoof. The monster crouched down. Some of the maggots melted into each other and

two arms formed from them, they were roughly the size of a minotaur’s.

The monster slowly started reaching for Pinkie. The only thing pinkie could do was cry and wish that she would wake up in her bed and everything had only been a

nightmare. The monster touched pinkies forehead with one of it's squishy fingers and to Pinkies surprise she was starting to feel good.

All Pinkies fears were melting away and she felt really happy it was almost like she was taking a relaxing bubble bath. Pinkie slowly removed her hooves from her

head and carefully opened her eyes. She was meet by a radiant white light.

She was laying on a open meadow and she could feel a gentle summer breeze. There were cupcakes, balloons, cakes, presents and all kind of objects necessary for a

great party.

Pinkie was speechless and she was overcome with joy and happiness. Then she remembered the monster, she looked all around but the monster was nowhere to be seen.

The monster was gone and in it's place was a beautiful white alicorn. The white alicorn was covered in streamers and pink frosting smeared its beautiful white coat.

Pinkie did not know how to react she was just so happy that the monster was gone, the alicorn in front of her looked like an angel. The alicorn walked up to her and

laid itself down right next to Pinkie, it draped one of it's wings around her. The angel closed it’s eyes and smiled at pinkie, it’s smile was warm and kind.

Pinkie looked up at the alicorn, she felt at ease and shuffled closer to the angel. Her eyelids were starting to get heavy and she was starting to feel sleepy, she

was struggling to keep her eyes open. Mere moments later she was fast asleep. Pinkie dreamed of her parents and of all the happy times in her life.

The angel opened it’s mouth and a long, transparent, fat, pulsating, blue maggot emerged. It latched on to pinkies head and started to drain her essence. As it

drained her essence Pinkie was getting younger and younger.

Twilight and Spike were the first ones to arrive to the hospital, instead of waiting for everypony else they decided to walk ahead to Pinkie’s room. They entered

the room and saw that Pinkie was connected to a heart monitor. She had a tube covering her face, the tube was connected to a respirator that was pumping air into her

lungs and thus keeping Pinkie alive. Twilight walked up to the bed and sighed, she had never been this clueless she did not know what she could do to make things right

again and it bothered her to no end.

After a brief moment of silence Twilight asked Spike to leave the room and look for a nurse or a doctor. Once the door to the room slammed shut, Twilight leaned over

Pinkies unconscious body, she carefully wrapped her hooves around her friend and embraced her.

“Oh Pinkie I miss you so much I wish there was something I could have done to prevent this

from happening.” Twilight said while choking back her tears.

Meanwhile Spike was looking for a doctor but he wanted to be back by Twilight's side as soon as possible. Spike walked up to the help desk and asked for the doctor

who treated Pinkie, he told the nurse behind the counter that they had some questions about Pinkies condition. The nurse smiled at Spike, she told him that the

doctor would be there very soon.

Satisfied with the answer Spike started walking back to Pinkies room only to be pushed to the floor by a very stressed out looking pegasus stallion.

“Oh I'm so terribly sorry young dragon.” the stallion said as he helped spike back on his feet.

“It's alright, something like that won't kill me. But what is the hurry?” Spike said.

“Oh well you see, my wife is in labor and she is about to give birth to our first child and I want to be there when our child sees the world for the first time. So I

hope you don't mind that I'm leaving in such haste but I got a child to meet.” He said with a happy smile.

Spike watched the stallion run down the hall and into a room labeled 14. 'How wonderful I wish to be part of something like that in the future.' Spike thought to

himself as he made his way back to Pinkies room. Ten minutes later a doctor entered the room and walked up to Twilight.

“Your friend is in a very unstable condition but I assure you the we will do anything in our power during her time of need. Now I believe you have some questions

for me?” The doctor said.

Twilight nodded her head and said “I only want to know If I can stay here with Pinkie until she wakes up.” The doctor nodded his head and said “If there is anything

you need feel free to ask the nurse at the help desk.” With that the doctor left the room.

“Do you think Pinkie is going to be alright?” Spike asked with a queering lip, tears forming in his eyes.

Twilight hugged Spike tightly and told him “I don't know Spike, for the first time in my life I don’t have the answer. We can only pray that Pinkie will come back

to us.” She said with tears running down her cheeks.

The heart monitor started to make a loud beeping noise, it was showing a flatline on it's monitor, Pinkie was going into cardiac arrest. Twilight bolted towards the

door to get help, but she was cut of by three doctors and two nurses. One of the doctors ran up to pinkie and started giving her a heart massage.

Twilight and Spike were shoved out of the room by the nurses and were told to wait outside. “She is going into cardiac arrest! Prepare the defibrillator!” The two

nurses started smearing a magical protection gel across Pinkies chest. Two unicorn doctors went to opposite sides of Pinkie and lowered their horns in perfect sync.

“THREE TWO ONE CLEAR!” one of the doctors shouted and the unicorns lowered their horns down onto Pinkies chest and a flash of bright lights showered the room.

There were no change on the heart monitor. “ AGAIN! THREE TWO ONE CLEAR!” once again the room was swallowed by a bright light. Outside the room Twilight was hugging

spike and praying that everything was going to be alright.

At the same time in room 14 a young pegasus mare was laying on a bed screaming in pain as she was giving birth to her child. Next to the mare stood a stallion holding

her hoof tightly while whispering: “You are doing great, my love.”

“NO CHANGE, ONE MORE TIME!” the doctor yelled.

Pinkie was once again struck by the two unicorns, a bright light bathed the room, but there was no noticeable change on the heart monitor. The doctor shook his head

and place his hoof over his chest, he drew a cross on his chest and muttered something about resting in peace. He then exited the room and was meet by a hysteric

Twilight. “Is Pinkie okay?!” He shook his head and placed a hoof on her shoulder. “We did everything we could.” His words were cold but they still carried the

gentleness of someone who understood the situation.

“No....NO!” Twilight rushed through the door and her horn flared up.“PINKIE!” She jumped into the air and fired a purple bolt of lightning into Pinkie’s body. The

two unicorns in the room grabbed her and pushed her down on the floor. They were about to scold her for acting reckless, but then the heart monitor started beeping.

Pinkie was stable again. Tears of joy streamed down Twilight’s face.

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The angel was decaying as it drained Pinkie's essence, its eyes were rotting and maggots started to crawl out of them, its flesh and organs was being devoured by its

own skeleton. A skeleton covered in decaying flesh and monsterios maggots was all that remained by the angel, the maggots pouring out from its eye sockets almost

made it look like it was crying.

Suddenly a purple bolt of lightning struck Pinkie and her eyes shot open. She saw the blue maggot on her head and screamed, she batted it away with one of her tiny

white hooves, she then leaped backwards to get away from the monster. Her breathing was uneven and she felt unsteady on her legs, she gazed down upon her body.

Her once pink earth pony body had been replaced with the tiny white body of a pegasus, her mane was blond and she could not have been more than 6 years old.

Pinkie screamed and started to run. But the monster was a lot faster than her, it had grown to its old size, Pinkie had felt small before, but now she was feeling

even smaller, she felt like a bug looking up at a dinosaur. The monster was towering over her, she instinctively flapped her wings and flew beneath the monster’s legs. She was flying in complete darkness, she had no clue where to go. Her thought came to a halt when her legs got snagged by a sticky white substance, she turned her head and saw the monster. It had fired a string of spider web from its mouth and was slowly pulling her back.

She was at the monster mercy, in her desperation she found anger, Pinkie was not someone who would get angry over little things, but this was no little thing.

She gritted her teeth and looked the monster straight into its red eyes. "YOU STUPID MEANIE HEAD! WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT TO TAKE ME AWAY FROM MY FRIENDS AND

EVERYTHING I LOVE?! I DON’T CARE WHO OR WHAT YOU ARE BUT I WON’T BE TREATED THIS WAY!I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU!"

To Pinkie’s surprise the monster drooped her.

The giant monster was crying, maggot blended tears were falling from its four eyes and its body was slowly crumbling away. The screams the monster created were not

out of anger but of torment and sadness which had been building up for a long time. All that remained of the once giant beast was a tiny black and white child. It

was crying like a child who had lost its mother, to put it simply the beast had been devastated by Pinkie’s words.

Pinkie was about to take this momment and run. But that’s when she looked back at the now tiny monster she felt bad for saying such things to it. But it was trying to

do god knows what to her, but dead or not Pinkie was still the element of laughter and she would be damned to leave a crying child all alone.

Pinkie walked up to the child and hugged it tightly, the child was still crying but its crying was slowly dying down to a quiet sobbing. It looked at Pinkie, tears

streaming down its cheeks. Pinkie looked down at his face and had to hold back a gag, the child’s face was a horrid blend of rotting flesh and disgusting maggots.

Pinkie ignored the child’s appearance and kissed the remains of its forehead, she almost puked when her lips touched its rotten skin, but she manage to hold herself

back from puking, the child was already upset and puking on it would most likely not make it any happier. The child returned the hug and sobbed quietly for a while.

Pinkie stroked its mane and hummed a happy tune.

Time passed and Pinkie continued to embrace the child. Suddenly the three ponds appeared in front of them, the child broke free from Pinkie’s embrace and dived into

the pond at the right, mere seconds later it re-emerged from the pond on the left, but now the child once again looked like an angel, it walked up to Pinkie and laid

down, it draped one of its wings over her. The angel looked down at her and with a heavy sigh it opened its mouth and said. “T.....h....an....k y..ou.” It talked

really slow, but Pinkie was in no hurry to leave any more. She simply smiled at it and hugged its leg. “It’s okay, everyone needs a hug once in awhile. And I’m sorry

for saying such mean things to you.” The angel smiled weakly, it then rose and walked away from Pinkie, it was walking wobbly and it was in obvious pain.

Pinkie rose from the ground and walked up to him, she had a worried expression on her face. “Are you okay mister angel-child-monster mister?”

The angel pushed Pinkie aside and puked, maggots were flooding out of its mouth and it once again started to rot, 8 long spider like legs shot out from its sides

and silver blood mixed with maggots was pouring out from its eyes and its mouth.

All pinkie could do was watch in horror as the angel once again transformed back into the monster she saw when she first got to wherever she now is. Pinkie was

mortified the transformation was horrible, blood and maggots were spewing everywhere. What she was witnessing was not meant for mortal eyes.

The monster looked down at Pinkie with its red eyes, it then opened its mouth and the same blue maggot was making its way to where Pinkie was sitting. But once the

maggot was about to strike, the monster clenched its jaws together and separated the maggots' head from its body. The maggot melted into a oozing puddle of goo. The

smell caused Pinkie to puke, with her stomach empty she turned back to the monster. “So what now?”

The monster used one of its spider appendages and pointed at the three ponds. Pinkie walked up to them and gazed into the middle one, in it she saw herself and all

of her friends in Ponyville, they were inside Sugar cube corner having a party, she remember that party it had been Fluttershy’s birthday party, they had had so much

fun that day. The monster tapped its leg on the left pond. Pinkie looked into it and saw her childhood, she was playing with her sisters Inky and Blinky,

they seemed to be having lots of fun. Pinkie remembered her time at the rock farm, it might not have been the most fun place to grow up on, but at least her sisters

had always been there they would do all kinds of fun things. Pinkie’s memory trip was interrupted by the monster tapping its leg on the last pond. Pinkie was afraid

of what she would see, she had seen the present and her past in the other ponds, the third one would most likely contain her future. She took a deep breath and gazed

down into the last pond.

She saw a tired young pegasus mare holding a white foal in her hooves, by her side stood a young pegasus stallion, they were both crying, but not tears of sadness

but tears of happiness. Pinkie wanted to see more but the immage in the pond faded away. She was uncertain of what to say, she looked at the monster.

“So I’m dead and you showed me my future, you were simply doing your duty. Now I feel even worse for shouting at you.” Tears formed in her eyes and she whimpered.

“Do I have to leave now? Can I at least say goodbye to my friends?”

The monster shook his head and put one of its massive hands on the ground, it motioned with one of its bony fingers for pinkie to get on. Pinkie dried her tears and

walked into its hand, she laid down and sighed. The monsters' other hand slowly made its way down. But just as it was about close them together Pinkie rose up and

said. “Stop, I know this is your duty, but I won’t let you this unless you tell me your name.” The hands came together and pinkie was enveloped by a bubble

filled with liquid, she grew smaller until she was the size of a preborn foal.

The monster gently placed the bubble into the left pond. As the bubble slowly sank into the pond the monster mumbled. “N..I..T..O....m..y...n...a...m...e.....i...s…

N..I..T..O.” It said as darkness once again enveloped it.

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Back at the hospital a rare thing occurred. A birth and a death at the same time, The earth pony Pinkamena Diane Pie left the world 11:43 and the white pegasus who would be know as Surprise was born at 11:43.


Death is a curious thing.

Many fear it.

Yet no one fears birth.

They are part of the same cycle.

Yet one is frowned upon.

The other is looked upon with great joy

They are just as natural as night and day.

The same thing only different sides.

Death will never change.

Nether will birth.

Yet there is one who prays for change.

Nito

The god of life and death.

Once an angel.

Now a monster.

Morphed by the fears all mortals share

He is now the monster they all fear

"May his eye never lay sight upon me"

Thats what they say, that’s what they wish.

His tears fall heavy, he cries because they fear him

May he find peace one day.

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5 years have passed since the day Pinkie Pie left the world. A royal carriage landed next to Ponyville cemetery. Princess Twilight Sparkle walked out of the carriage,

she told the guard that she needed some time alone, they saluted and bowed to their princess.

Twilight Sparkle was looking for a headstone in the shape of three balloons, once she found it she was surprised to see a white pegasus filly rummaging through the

earth around the headstone.

Twilight walked up to the filly and asked. “What are you doing little one?”

The filly did not meet her eyes. “Picking weeds.” She said her mouth full of them. She spat them out and carefully beginned to flattened the earth with her hooves.

“That is very kind of you. Did you know the one who rest here?”

“Nope, but I know that if I was resting here I would not want weeds to eat away at me, it’s better to let the maggots do that.”

Happy with how the earth turned out the filly looked up at Twilight.

Twilight was a caught a little off guard by what the filly had said, but 2 years as a co-ruler of Equestria had taught her to mask her emotions.

“What is your name Little one.” Twilight noticed that the filly had a single white line of hair in her otherwise straight blond mane.

The filly smiled and hovered in front of Twilight’s face. “My name is Surprise, and your name is Twilight Sparkle, former student of Celestia and now co-ruler of

Equestria.” She landed on the ground.

There was something about this filly, but Twilight was unable to put her hoof on it. “Well nice to meet you Surprise, since you already know my name, I won't bother

you with it. Where are your parents? I hope you're not here by yourself.” She said looking for somepony who could be one of Surprise parents.

Surprise pointed a hoof at two nearby graves. “My parents are right over there, they died when I was very little.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” Twilight placed a bouquet of striped candy blossoms on Pinkies grave.

“But it’s fine. I got my uncle Nito, he takes good care of me. There he comes now.” Surprise ran up to hooded stallion and hugged his leg, the stallion raised one of

his hooves and ruffled her mane.

Twilight walked up to the two of them and smiled warmly, she was unable to see any of Nito’s features she sensed that the hood he was wearing had been enchanted to

hide his appearance, normally she would have been suspicious to this, but she decided to ignore it. Nito leaned down and whispered something to Surprise.

“Well we need to get going."

"It was good to see you again Twilight, I'm glad to see that you remember my favorite flowers after such a long time.”

Surprise jumped up on Nitos back and they faded into the fog that had suddenly appeared.

Twilight walked back to pinkies grave and thought about what Surprise had said, she had hear the name Nito before, but she was unable to recall it at the moment.

*I wonder what she meant with her favorite flowers.* Twilight shrugged it off she must have misheard what had Surprise said. She looked down on the flowers,

she allowed a single tear to escape.

“I hope that wherever you are. I hope that you are throwing the most fun parties the next world have ever experienced. I’ll see you soon Pinkie.”

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Back in the castle Twilight was skimming through an old book, she sipped her tea when something caught her eye.

“Nito the god of life and death, his appearance is said to be a reflection of the mortals fear of death, in the beginning he was often depicted as a angel. But as

time passed his appearance was corrupted and left him as a ever decaying spider monster. It is said that once every 10,000 years he finds a mortal who is willing to

aid him in his lonely duty.”

At the bottom of the page there was a picture depicting a stallion covering his face with a hood and by his side was a young pony with a single white stripe in its

mane. Next to the picture a text read. “Nito and his mortal companion.”

Twilight dropped her teacup and once it hit the floor it shattered into hundreds of tiny pieces. She was laughing nervously. “Oh Pinkie.”


The End

Author's Note:

Finally got this one done.
I hope you enjoyed reading it.
I love to get feedback, so please tell me what you think. Good or bad.
Once again thanks to my awesome editor Draxco.

Comments ( 10 )

The beginning of the story was quite dry i.e. boiling down this happened, that happened, they went here, they went there, etc. Use of descriptive wording and sentence transitions would have helped immensely. But, when you described the angel, that was perfect! From that point on, the story was amazing in every single way! I'm not kidding when I say that.

Your story does an awesome job of explaining the contradictory nature of birth and death. Here's my thoughts on the subject: Birth is not always a happy thing especially in situations of overpopulation or unexpected childbearing. On the other hand, death is not always something to be feared as it could mean an end to suffering or an accepted natural summation of one's life. For reference, look up the jazz funeral processions of New Orleans, Louisana. It is a celebration after death meant to appease the spirits that protect the dead. At the same time, this procession honors the recently deceased.

All in all, I think the story is 'Nito' (nee-toe).:twilightsmile:

2767901 Thanks for the feedback, I'm glad you liked it.
A possible reason for the beginning being a tad dry, could be that I started writing this thing almost 6 months ago, I have learned a lot since then and I was to lazy to edit the whole thing.

I appreciate your point of view and I accept it, I wont say you are wrong or anything.
I prefer to view birth as a happy occasion.

This made me cry. Buckets. I love the story line and how you can make everything 'chime in' especially with Surprise! *sniffs as tears dribble down her face* that was... Really good...

3961015 Thanks. Glad you liked it.

Enjoyable read, even though some parts were rather morbid. Only problems that I had were that many letters were not capitalized when they should have been, and horrible spacing errors. However, the spacing errors may just be the fact that I'm reading this on my phone.

Comment posted by the monkey ninja deleted Apr 14th, 2014

4232525 Thanks for the comment. This is an older piece and my grammar was not on the same level as it is now. I have not bothered to rework it since I published it. Perhaps I should.
Also it seems that you commented the same thing twice. :P

I'm sorry.

I couldn't get through this. Sentences were cut off.

it was painful. Not to be mean, I actually liked the plot, but...... I couldn't get past halfway. Sorry if this comes across as harsh.

6664207 It's cool. Everyone has the right to their own opinion.
Also, this was one of my earliest attempt at a fanfic. Thanks for giving it a shot.

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