The Offer
"Twiiiiiiiliiiiiiiiight!"
Twilight Sparkle took a moment to lament how difficult it was to read outside without interruptions before looking up from her book. She then took another moment to note that she'd never seen Rainbow Dash quite so excited.
"Did you see? Did you see?" asked Dash giddily. "One of the Wonderbolts just flew by! Oh man, I wonder what she's doing here in Ponyville!"
A minute later, Spitfire, captain of the Wonderbolts, landed in a secluded treehouse on the edge of town. Five minutes later, the owner of the house showed her out.
"You're sure you won't reconsider my offer?" she said. "We've seen you practicing your flying at night. You're incredible. Easily the best flyer in Ponyville."
Fluttershy was taken aback by the compliment. "M..me? The best? Even better than-"
"I don't mince words, miss." said Spitfire. "You're the best in this town."
"Oh...well...thank you very much...for that...but my answer is still no. I'm sorry but I won't join the Wonderbolts," said Fluttershy. "I just wouldn't be able to stand it...all those ponies watching my fly, a whole stadium full of eyes, all of them on ME...no. I'm sorry, but no." She let out a tiny shudder at the thought.
"Hey, we all get stage fright our first few times," said Spitfire. "But your talent is something special. You're just wasting it here."
Fluttershy shook her head. "You're...you're wrong....sorry....but you are. I fly because it makes me happy. I do it at night because that's when no one is around. No one to look at me and make me feel...aware...of myself. Just me, and the clouds. Maybe Princess Luna sees me fly, and I guess one of you must have been watching one night, too. But no one else. That's not a waste, is it? It's the only time I feel...free. How can that be a waste?"
Spitfire sighed. "Alright. I understand. But if you ever change your mind...."
"Y..yes. Um, I mean, no. I won't. Change my mind, that is." said Fluttershy. "But thank you very much for stopping by. Um...please go away now...if that's okay?"
The Wonderbolt captain nodded to Fluttershy and flew away.
Fluttershy did not watch her as she vanished into the clouds. Instead, she hung her head sadly. Noticing this, one of her ferret friends bounded up to her. He put a sympathetic paw on her foreleg and looked up at her face.
"Oh...oh, please..don't worry about me, little friend," she said. "It...I guess...maybe...it might have been nice to be one of them. I would be scared...at first...but I think I would get over it. Maybe I would have even become better at talking to other ponies. Maybe...maybe I could start to feel...like it's okay...to be me."
The ferret cocked his head inquisitively.
"But, no, I won't...I won't ever take that from her." Fluttershy spoke in her usual tone, as if the tears falling down her cheek weren't even there. "I won't...it's her dream. Not mine."
Sitting in the meadow with Twilight, Rainbow Dash spied the distant figure of the Wonderbolt captain as she left town.
"Did you see that? There she is again!" she said. "Ooooh! I bet she heard about my latest stunt and was asking around about me! I'd better practice! Later, Twilight!" With that, Rainbow Dash took to the skies.
Not far away, Fluttershy had wiped away the last of her tears and was walking back inside. Just before she closed the door, the wind picked up, and she caught a glimpse of her friend soaring through the air.
"Someday..." she said.
"Whooo!" came a distant voice from high above. "Living the dream!"
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cool do more
This is pretty good, short and sweet. Very well done.
F**k me
, that was six hundred words of perfection and emotion
, very impressive.
I would want to see more of this. Its pretty good.
Ok, no lie, I came into this fic thinking "700 words? Shit's gonna suck."
Thank you my friend, for gracing me with the honor of making myself look like an idiot. This story, while short, was amazing.
That was a very beautiful vignette.
You have destroyed my expectations for a super short fic, 5 stars.
very nice didn't expect something this short to be this good well done
Oh my god. I know the feeling of wanting something sooo bad and seeing someone else achieve it with out even trying or wanting to.
fortunately I eventually DID achieve my goal. After two years of trying and watching as one by one other people were granted what I wanted I finally gave it one last 'Hoorah!' and laid my cards on the table! Then I finally got it!
lol There is no life lesson that can't be solved the T.T.G.L. way XD
Loved it
this is gonna get featured. i know it...
Wow, what a position to be put in. The ending is what got to me the most, I guess ignorance is bliss eh Rainbow?
Wonderful, 4/5. The plot/message was solid, but it could be better presented, it was a bit dry really, but touching all the same.
Have a good one.
More please?
I believe this fic could easily be made bigger, and actually be more than one chapter! (Its complete
Old school.
Much better than I expected 600 words to be. Could definitely be made into a much larger story, but this was still very nice. Keep up the great writing!
~SolidFire
Living the dream indeed... was this written before the 1000-word limit existed, out of curiosity? I came by Fimfiction around the end of Season 3, so... yeah.
6137265
It was! This was written back in season one, though it was posted here a while after that. Yeah, I guess I would have to expand it to post it here now...
Your Trixie fic got featured in a callback blog. I've read it before, and eventually may add my own review, but that will take some time since the way you wrote it was sheer genius.
Saying that, it's a rather profound story for being so short. It's bookended by Rainbow Dash cheering out loud about a Wonderbolt being in town, fantasising out loud about joining the Wonderbolts. Then, in the middle we find that Fluttershy, the shy, skittish one whom barely flies (and in fact, it's telling that the longest I recall her staying in the air using her wings instead of staying grounded is in Putting your Hoof Down, in the scene where she's a big bully to Pinkie and Rarity, though that episode hadn't aired as of this story being posted) is a talent of such wonders that Spitfire, singled out in the text as captain of the Wonderbolts, makes her an offer only seeing her flying at night in private.
There's a lot of people in real life who can emphasise with that, where no matter how hard they train or practice at something some other person has such raw talent they don't even have to try to be better. Heck, Trixie even gets flanderized a bit in fanon into being like this with magic to Twilight (though Twilight does study lots). Fluttershy, to her credit, understands this and values her friendship with Rainbow Dash too greatly. Bonus if the events of this story were to take place after Green Isn't Your Color, where she did this exact same thing to Rarity and doesn't wish to risk it again.
So, good work author! Not very often I can read through a story in a few minutes and then stop to think about how beautiful it was that so much could be said in so little.
May I adapt this into an audio drama?