Judge Luna
Case #5 – Neck
Rarity was wide-awake, well into the night. She’d been up designing dresses and had finished her order, but she was so thrilled with herself that she couldn’t sleep. One could not go from churning, full-pony-power forward to comatose in bed. She needed time to unwind. Stretching her aching limbs, she double-checked that her doors and windows were locked before heading into her living quarters upstairs. Hopping up onto her couch, she splayed herself out (in a very lady-like way, mind you) on her fainting couch.
Unbeknownst to everypony, Rarity was an avid TV watcher. She often found herself in front of it during the late nights she spent alone. Something about the glowing magic box and the stories it told just exhausted the poor unicorn. Who would’ve thought that ‘soap operas’ could be so entertaining? There was no singing involved, as she initially thought. Instead, they were tragic tales of love, loss, and simply devious plot-twists. Why, what other story could one name where a stallion could have a twin brother who had amnesia, who was also a doctor to deliver the foal of his ex-wife’s younger sister—only to fall in love with her under her stern father’s nose? It was simply heart-pounding! But still, it helped Rarity relax for some reason, in the evenings. She could barely move at all some nights after her shows were over. In fact, one scandalous morning she found herself lying flat on her back in the middle of the floor, pounding with a headache! She was thankful nopony had come across her looking like that, they would’ve gossiped all the way to Canterlot about it.
Reaching with her magic, Rarity ignited her horn to turn the television on and flip channels. But, there was no response. Huh. Sitting up a little despite her soreness, she cocked her head. “Is the power crystal bad already?” she groaned. “I swear, you eat them up like Spike does with gems!” Pulling herself upright with a toss of her mane, Rarity went to a decorative corner table and pulled the drawer open. Getting a small, board game-sized box out, she flipped the lid open. A small array of bright pinkish-purple power crystals greeted her. They’d come standard with the television itself, and the company always sent their customers more for free, but darn if they didn’t need changing every time you turned around!
Picking one up with her teeth, Rarity went to the side of her television and popped the little panel open. Reaching inside with her magic, she pulled out the old power crystal. Yep, it was as black as onyx. She shook her head a little as it came apart in the grip of her magic. The tiny motes drifted, seemingly of their own accord, out the window and into the night. Blowing the dust out of the insertion conduit, the unicorn leaned down with the fresh crystal and clicked it into place. Then she went back to her couch to settle. Flopping down with a relaxed sigh, Rarity lit her horn and flipped the TV on again. The clock struck midnight.
Dun dun dun duhhhhhn!
Real cases.
Real ponies.
This—is Judge Luna.
Rarity paused. She’d not seen this show before. Hmm! Well, variety was the spice of life after all. She could catch a rerun of one of her soap operas another night. If Princess Luna had her own television show, surely it would be a good one. Smiling a bit, the pale mare decided to see just what her Princess was up to in the courtroom these days. The ladies at the spa would surely love to hear all about the alicorn’s exploits in the realms of law and justice!
The element of generosity laid her head down on the pillow of the fainting couch. She wouldn’t be awake for long. She’d only just turned the TV on, and she could already feel the light ache behind her eyes and in her horn. The power crystal panel on the side of the box hummed idly, bright and fresh.
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“All rise!” Steel Wing turned to bid the audience in the throne room. The ponies present did so as one. The show had been going on long enough, that they knew the drill by this point and there were no issues. “Her Majesty Princess Luna, presiding!” he gestured with a hoof.
Princess Luna walked slowly into the room, a midnight-blue cloak draped about herself. She looked ready to attend a funeral! A few ponies murmured as she went up the dais stairs. The light-blue of a normal pony’s tail flashed briefly under her cloak as she turned about. Settling with her garb about herself, covered from the withers down, Princess Luna sat upon the throne. She nodded once to Steel Wing.
The Lunar Stallion stared at her for a few long moments. What the heck was with the cloak-thing? It practically covered her up. She gave him a more stern expression and he jolted forward before she had to scold him. “Er… *ahem*… your Majesty,” he bowed before approaching and lowered his voice. “Are you alright? You look… odd.”
“Unlike our sister, we prefer to experience a range of personal fashion statements and designs,” Luna said a little snappily, turning her regal muzzle up and closing her eyes. She peeked at him with one eye to see if he’d bought that, then closed it again to continue looking regal. “Our case-file, soldier,” she said with a reaching hoof. Steel Wing looked hurt. She never called her Lunar Stallions by anything but name, individually. He’d only joined the night guard shortly before the show started and had been appointed the high honor but… being called plain-old ‘soldier’ kind of hurt. Seeming to catch herself, Luna gave an apologetic smile. “Steel Wing,” she amended, a little bashful.
Steel Wing gave a patient smile. Everypony had their off days and odd outfits, he supposed. Ah well. Clearing his throat a little, he double-checked his folder before giving it to her Majesty. “Your Highness this is case number 451208, in the matter of Rich versus Turner. Both parties have been sworn in, you may proceed when ready,” he bowed as he finished speaking and stepped away to take up his post. Steel Wing caught the eyes of a few Lunar Stallions as he did so. They seemed to have the same looks of concern as he did. Luna just looked weird in that cape… cloak… cowl… thing. Not that she needed to be naked all the time, it just looked strange compared to her usual silvery regalia.
“Introduce thyselves and thy vocations.” Luna commanded, looking down at the two mares before herself. There was a unicorn mare to her left, a unicorn mare to her right, and a stallion in a neck-cast to her right as well.
“I am Missus Daisy Buttercup Kansas Liberty Freemason Rich,” the mare on the left said over her half-moon glasses. She was an elderly thing with a grey bun on her head and horned spectacles. She had a tight-flank-librarian sort of look about her, and the lines along her cheeks and eyes told of a forgotten youth spent in stress of station. “I have no day job, as I am from a high pedigree that invests monies for the better future of Canterlot.” She said rather snootily. Old money then, Luna surmised as the middle-aged mare bowed deeply. Well, at least she knew her manners.
The mare to Luna’s right glared at her as she spoke, “I am Little Rich, Missus Rich’s daughter.”
“Why aren’t you over there with your mother?” Luna wanted to know.
“My coltfriend Timer Turner here can’t speak for himself, he’s still healing after what she DID to him,” she said nastily. Luna studied the mare. Yes, yes she could see the family resemblance. The same lemon-peach fur, the same striking green eyes. Her mane was lime green and reflected any light that touched it. A younger image of Miss Rich, to the letter. The Princess could see the fire of rebellion in her eyes, though, and waited to see what would happen.
“Come forward, stallion.” Luna gestured. The rather plain-looking young stallion sidled to his hooves from his bench to stand next to Little Rich. He was brown with dark-brown in his mane, and an hourglass was on his flank. He was an earth pony of no really interesting features. “Thou art Time Turner. What do you do for a living?” The stallion silently held up a little pouch. She gave a slight nod and he opened it to show her a pocket watch, an ankle watch, an alarm clock, and a clock meant to be mounted on a wall. All of which were missing a panel so he could show her the innards. “A clock-smith. Very precise work.” Luna hmm’d, nodding that she understood. “And you, Little Rich, what dost thou do for a living?”
“Nothing.” Miss Rich said. “Other than fool around with common stock!”
“Mother!” Little Rich squawked, red-faced.
“Why do we have the feeling Timer Turner’s loss of voice has to do with thee, Missus Rich?” Luna rubbed one of her temples in a sore way. She made a sharp gesture to one side. A Lunar Stallion jerked forward, putting out a few more candles. The room darkened a bit. He leaned to make sure that was enough. Poor Princess, those migranes were really getting to her these days…
“I can defend my property, thank you.” Miss Rich said rather snootily. Luna didn’t like her tone. “I went to Canterlot Law, I know perfectly well when I can become physical with somepony on my own property.”
“Is that so?” Luna said acidly. There was a certain ice to the Princess’ tone that said it was rhetorical. The old mare wasn’t about to put words into the mouth of royalty. “Let’s start from the beginning, then.” She made a gesture. “What is the relation here, other than mother and daughter?” she pointed to Time Turner, who turned his head and blushed.
“L… lovers, your Highness.” Little Rich managed, equally red in the face. “Time Turner and I started seeing each other after my mother hired him to do maintenance on the clocks in our family mansion.”
“Ah, a bit of an expert then, if thou art hired by such high society?” Luna offered humor to the mute stallion, but he could only nod weakly and offer a shy smile. There was a certain gentleness in his eyes that the night Princess liked. She could see in his face why Little Rich found him attractive. “And while thou were fixing clocks in the Rich mansion, thou came upon Little Rich and things went from there?”
“Yes.” Little Rich said, standing by her stallion and putting an arm around him.
“It’s improper!” barked Missus Rich. “Not only that, but it’s illegal as well!”
“Explain.” Luna furrowed her brow.
“It’s illegal for the customer of a high service to fraternize with the one they hire.” Miss Rich said. “That’s why doctors can’t date their patients and coaches do not date their players. It unethical!” she said firmly, stamping a hoof. “I won’t have my daughter running away with a clock-stallion that we hired!”
Luna thought for a time. “Thou means to tell me that Little Rich hired Time Turner, and not thee?” she said, pointing to the papers in front of the elderly mare. Steel Wing went to fetch them without even being asked. He brought them back to Luna, who fanned them out to see. “Let us see… there are sixteen months of appointments here, that’s quite a bit of maintenance wouldn’t you say?”
“Almost all of our clocks are heirlooms. Mechanical, and very old.” Miss Rich said with a rather proud smile. “They need skilled hooves to be kept in working order.”
“And Time Turner became said skilled hooves.” Luna eyed the appointments, the bills, and the amount of money changing hooves. “My my, quite a sum over the months. But with a service so specific we imagine it must be,” she flicked her eyes at Time Turner, who smiled despite himself. He was good at his job, sure, but a surgeon’s touch on an ancient clock didn’t come cheap. “And upon the seventeenth month, Missus Rich?” Luna enquired.
“I caught him with his hooves on my daughter in the backyard, under the hanging garden clock!” the old mare blurted, red in the cheeks. “It was a scandal!”
“Is this true?” Luna asked.
“We were kissing, is all!” Little Rich said defensively.
“Kissing doth not be illegal. There should be more of it, in our opinion.” Luna snarked just a little. A light chuckle rippled through the audience. She coughed for a few moments behind a hoof, leaning to one side. Straightening, she spoke again, “But please, let us address your woes,” the alicorn gestured. “Doctors may not date their patients because it is in their code of ethics. Coaches may not date their athletes because of employer-employee relations. Hiring a clock-smith is not the same.”
“We hired him! He shouldn’t be smoozing with my little filly!”
“No. Wrong.” Luna snapped. “You hired him, Missus Rich. You. Thine coin jingles in his pockets, not your daughter’s. Your name does not act as an umbrella for everypony involved in thy mansion.”
“It does!” argued Rich, stamping a hoof. “We’re of the Canterlot elite! We act as a house and we’re represented as a house.”
“A wise creature once told us, many centuries ago,” Luna quoted, “’A house divided against itself cannot stand.’ We can see that you and yours are well on your way to such a thing. We tell you once more, whether thou hath studied law or not, that what thou speakest of does not apply here, my little pony.”
“Well that’s just your opinion.” muttered Miss Rich, just loud enough to be heard as she looked away. Hush fell over the throne room. Luna looked up from the papers in front of her, eyes widened. Time Turner went as pale as a sheet. Every Lunar Stallion in the room wondered if the Princess might blast the mare into oblivion on the spot.
“…From what school does your law knowledge hail?” Luna whispered, wings quivering under her cloak.
“I-I-I studied at the Canterlot Academy of Law, your Majesty,” Missus Rich was backpedalling hard as she spoke, bowing deeply once more. Then again. Then a third time. But it was far too late for that.
Luna drew herself up, and each night guard in the room tensed. That was the posture she took for---! “AND SUCH A KNOWLEDGE IT IS, TO PROCLAIM THYSELF A BETTER AUTHORITY OF LAW THAN US!” the table in front of Missus Rich crumpled itself into a ball like it was made of tin foil, taking all her papers with it. Wood… shouldn’t have been able to do that. There wasn’t a single splinter, it just collapsed like a dying star. “WE ART THOUSANDS OF YEARS OLD, AND WEAR THE CROWN OF THE HIGHEST AUTHORITY IN EQUESTRIA!” Luna stood from the throne, a small pile of feathers falling out of her cloak. “AND THOU *DARES* COME BEFORE ME TO QUESTION MY JUDGEMENT AND SAY ‘THAT IS YOUR OPINION’?!” tiles on the floor began to crack and float upward. They stopped anywhere from a few inches to a few feet off the ground. The throne room shuddered and the audience hung on for dear life, a few ponies shrieking in fear as they rushed for the door. Missus Rich cowered. Time Turner fell to his knees, holding his wrapped neck as Little Rich pressed fearfully up against him. “WE CRAFTED THE VERY HEAVENS YOU LOOK UPON IN OUR HOOVES! DOST THOU QUESTION THE DIVINE AUTHORITY OF THY PRINCESS IN HER OWN THRONEROOM?! DOST THOU QUESTION THE HIGHEST LAW ENFORCEMENT OF EQUESTRIA?!”
“I-I-I-I’m s-s-s-sorry!” Missus Rich sank to her belly, hiding her head under her front legs.
Luna suddenly coughed hard, very hard. Steel Wing turned to rush up the throne to her, but she bade him to stop with a hoof. The cameras stayed on the Princess as she took the time to recover herself. The ponies in the audience were frazzled, slowly making their way back to their seats. Huffing and puffing with exhaustion, Luna stamped a hoof a few times until there was absolute quiet. “What did she do to him?” she turned her searing gaze to Little Rich, who turned sideways to hide Time Turner behind herself. “Thy mother, what did she do to Time Turner when she caught thee kissing?”
“Sh-she told him to stay away from me, and a few days later when he didn’t… sh-she shot him with her horn. In the neck.” Little Rich said, shuddering. “The burnt skin, it… it smelled awful! I thought she’d killed him! That’s why he can’t talk right now.” She gestured to the white cast around Time Turner’s neck.
The dark alicorn took a closer look at Time Turner, who was peeking out from behind his marefriend. The poor stallion was shaking like a leaf. She could see from where she was that it wasn’t a neck cast, but a neck wrap. He’d been burned by an arcane bolt of magic from a unicorn horn. That didn’t burn like fire— that seared through the nerves and out the other side. His vocal chords must’ve been hit directly. Healing magic was not surgical enough to fix that. He would be mute for weeks, eating cold food to soothe the internal burns. He was lucky he hadn’t gotten hit in the face. Luna seated herself upon her haunches, coming down from her furious high. “Judgment for the plaintiff in the amount of five thousand bits,” she whispered. “That is all. Goodbye!” She stamped a hoof with authority.
Little Rich turned and kissed her stallion passionately. He whimpered and she quickly broke the kiss. His neck hurt him, so she kissed his cheek instead. The brown stallion smiled bashfully, leaning into her and careful of his wrappings. “Five thousand bits, sweetie!” she whispered. “That’s enough to pay all your hospital bills! And we won’t starve while I look for work in Ponyville!”
Time Turner nodded, looking gratefully up at Princess Luna. The alicorn had already vacated her throne, coughing heavily and moving towards her chambers to be out of sight. The camera crews started to shut down their things, taking their dull power crystals out of their cameras and coiling up their chords. What a heated case this had been! The ratings would be through the roof after a charged episode like this!
Missus Rich slowly toddled away, her whole body shaking. The Royal Canterlot Voice had not been focused with anger on a single pony in centuries. She could barely walk, and her mane was sticking out in all directions. Rattled, she escaped through the double doors of the throne room and to the nearest mare’s restroom. It had taken all her high-borne willpower not to pee herself in the courtroom.
End Case 5
Somehow i can picture the Canterlot snobs actually saying that to a princess, a goddess even. Nice work with this chapter, tho it was kinda short.
Geez this story has it all, compelling characters and situation, personalities that feel canon and a subtle yet persistent substory in the degrading condition of Luna's health. And most importantly a swift update schedule. I lest at the last one. But I digress. Another story with the high quality of writing that is found in all Aegis Shield fictions.
...
NOW THATS A STORY
that is what readers like but do not do them too often do a mix of bring meh awesome ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE
Good chapter Luna appears sick hope she's ok
I'd REALLY like to see somepony respond to Luna's Royal Canterlot Voice with an apathetic, "Are you quite done yet, Luna?"
The power of Luna's voice is amazing. That is all.
P.S. Why are there no Luna emoticons?
Luna met Abraham Lincoln?
Ouch! actually, I find that a bit lenient of Luna. An assault with no just cause, that nearly killed the defendant? Still, a few words from Rarity, similar to last chapter with Pinkie would have been appreciated.
The only way (I think) wood can be crushed like that would have to be WITH THE GRAVITY OF A DYING STAR! So you know... holy crap.
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Abrayham Lincoln.
Why is our beloved Princess Luna ill?
The introductions _alone_ are worth reading this story for. Another great fic Aegis - f you wrote a phone book, I'd probably read it.
"That's just your opinion..."
.......
(sighs) I'll take care of it.... Just lemme grab my.....Ah! Found It!
bumped.org/psublog/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/Space-Tuna-Sword.jpg
Ok, who's ready for some whack-a-nag?
And the instant she said that, every one of us turned our heads away from the screen, eyes closed in casual disbelief, muttering to ourselves, "Wrong answer...."
2744028 I agree that it seems lenient, but I think these are civil matters. All Luna can do is award damages, the criminal code is probably handled by Celestia. I'm guessing that although Little Rich is obviously pissed at her, she didn't want her mom having a criminal record, either that or Time Turner was too kind to press charges. Then again it's possible that she will be convicted of this crime in a criminal court at a later date. Anyway, I'm starting to really worry about poor Luna, something is definately wrong.
Are there any cases involves a baby dragon?
Something is up with those power crystalsl, something strange.
I hope Luna gets better.soon
... Oh, you've done it now!
One tiny correction, though. You typed "Miss Rich" instead of "Missus Rich" a couple times. Other than that, it was great!
Hmm...
Changeling. I'm calling it now. Luna has been/is being replaced by a changeling.
Stay tuned for another random guess at the end of next chapter.
Write on,
Legion
I can definitively see Rarity watching the equestrian equivalent of Mexican soap opera.
Ricardo! Why did you leave Cristal?!
I bet it's the lighting that's somehow hurting Luna. Anyway, great as usual!
I'm getting the distinct feeling that Luna's illness is somehow caused by the power crystals.
i think you buggered up a little.. first.
"Your Highness this is case number 451208, in the matter of Rich versus Turner."
meaning that the mother is sueing the time turner. but..
“Judgment for the plaintiff in the amount of five thousand bits,”
time turning is the defendant.
it should be the defendant that the judgment is for. the plaintiff is her mother. so really, she won :P
That's just your opinion... I have to say if that mare were a man she would have the hugest balls ever. Though I did turn my head for second thinking "This bitch going to die today." Oh and will there be a court case with spike or maybe Cadence vs. Shining armor oh and LLAMAS ARE FOREVER
HIT THE DECK!
Looks as though Luna's latest cry for attention is going about as well as expected. The things a princess will do for the admiration of her subjects
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Nah dude, Little Rich was suing her mother. Technically it was Time Turner doing the suing, but he couldn't speak so his gf spoke in his stead. They just said the thing backwards
Anyone else notice Luna's health problems? Maybe the cases are really stressful?
Is Luna's illness caused by the crystals or is it the feather flu?
Wait hmm rarity with a headache and Luna getting sick and a emphasis on the power crystals. Hmm they both have horns and those crystals have to emit some sort of magic like radiation Me thinks the crystals are toxic to unicorns and Alicorns and being surrounded by cameras it's poisoning luna faster and rarity using them like they're going out of style is giving rarity an unhealthy amount of exposure as well. I think a court case involving the makers of the televisions and a family who has a sick foal is gonna be soon.
TlDR: Warning prolonged Exposure to the power crystals by unicorns and Alicorns may cause headache, nausea, featherloss, and in extreme cases magic Cancer. If any symptoms occur please incinerate television and go to nearest physician and/or adorable lunar judge.
YES! ABRAHAM LINCOLN FOR THE WIN!
Aegis, what's up with Lulu?
Take that you stupid bitch! Never piss off the mare who can turn you into a black hole wth just a blink.
And what -is- wrong with Luna?
A good read!
Regarding Luna's illness I'm rather concerned - loss of hair (or feathers), being prone to sickness like coughs, difficulties to focus and to think, weakness in general - all those are possible symptoms for radiation sickness (or a similar creeping body-wide breakdown).
How exactly do those energy crystals and cameras work?
2746728 You certainly know how to ruin my fun eh? Can't say I wasn't starting to become suspicious with all this losing feathers but still. Sadly your right though.. , let's just hope Luna won't be sick too badly...
"Well that's just your opinion."
...If it's possible to kiss your own ass goodbye, I'd start doing it.
Time Turner or Timer Turner?
And I think that Luna's turning into a normal pony for some reason...
*munches popcorn*
As the show progresses, Luna becomes more and more frustrated and her sickness worsens. All the while, she hides her frailty from the public as her health continues to spiral, even withholding information from her personal guards, Steel Wing may hold feeling for the Princess, and the rest of the Lunar Stallions secretly worry for her personal well-being. This is just like the soap opera!
Well shit. Why isn't Aegis making Luna get healthy again before continuing? Or is he too busy to care fore his mare?
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Like slow-motion assassination? It's Cadence. She's jealous of all the love she's NOT getting from the fans!
Really want a Princess Luna Royal Canterlot Voice emoticon pony, for exclamation purposes.
Why am I thinking she's molting or has the feather flu, either way embarrassing.
The story certainly seems to be pointing at the power crystals. Hey, maybe instead of being a source of power, they're a power sink--absorbing the magic of any unicorn or alicorn near their devices before crumbling to dust and doing a "SpikeMail" return to wherever they're made, carrying their payload of ill-gotten magical energy into the greedy hooves of some vile ne'er-do-well? Okay, that's my Wild Donkey Guess for today.
Stupid joke time: Hey, what did Luna say when her moonshine distillation was finished? "Huzzah! The rum has been bubbled!"
...and just some pocket fluff out of the noblepony's pockets?
I believe criminal charges for physical assault, connected with at least jail time would be in order.
2744094 I am! I even brought my bitch-Slapping Fish!
>Ecocat<
I'm wondering if the crystals and Luna's illness are related. Maybe she's using her magic to power the TV's so they can watch her, and it's taking too much magic out of her.
prof77.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/abraham-lincoln.jpg
Well, that's not ominous.
5510200 Wasn't it George Washington that said that and not Lincoln? Apologies if I'm wrong we don't study U.S history much in Canada.
6954869
Sorry this is so late, but no, it was Lincoln. He was talking about slave-free state divide on the eve of the American Civil War.
Source: American History class
7088552
6954869
Actually it originated In the bible. But Lincoln is the other one that's known for using that saying.
2744048
You get a like for the lame pun
3575987
Huzzah! The jokes have been doubled! (There's no Luna emote )