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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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i like Bruises she's cute
Kind of creepy how he's working his way towards considering hurting people "in his way."
...A Unicorn mare with the body of Snowflake... kinda disturbing to think about
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This story is tagged dark as more than just a precaution. I sincerely hope it's creepy for you in an interesting way, more than an offputting way, but he is becoming more villainous, and his rationale more warped.
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I'm glad you're enjoying her! I've been waiting a while to get to introduce her, and I truly have no idea what her reception will be like. I mentioned in one of my blog posts that I'd commissioned art. Bruises is in that art, but it's some ways off yet--the artist is on vacation.
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In my head she's a BIT less...lumpy... than Snowflake, but she's bigger than Big Mac. Dainty she ain't.
2837327 And now I have that creepy image in my mind, screaming "YEAH!"...
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I promise here and now that Bruises will never scream "YEAH!"
Huh, you know, I think the smoke doesn't necessarily just "break" their former personalities anymore. It seems more like it breaks them in such a way that their personalities will begin reconstructing themselves into something convenient for him. Interesting.
Can't say I'm into giant blocks of muscle, but variety is a good thing. Can't have them all be one hundred percent dainty, submissive mares, after all~
Keep up the good work
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The only one who was ever genuinely broken was Bright Jade, and the logic behind that is buried in a story element I abandoned, but mentioned in one of my blog posts ("Big Rejected Smoke Idea #2"). I don't think I executed particularly well in the first two chapters, but the idea was that Done wasn't yet corrupt enough to carry everything from the cave out--he "packed" the rest into Jade. When it rushed back into him in the second chapter and both ponies dropped, having all that power yanked out of her like that is what broke her. Much like what happened with Bruises' body, things are unpredictable if Done fails to maintain control.
When things ARE under control, the intent is that the smoke is a corrupting, twisting force that works best by warping a victim's perceptions and personality. Just laying out a new rule in their head is possible, but you've seen that when Done just lays out the law, he has to push harder.
Sure I could! But then the story would end sooner, when Done Deal doesn't have the means to exert force where needed, or protect himself! I'm not actually into the whole Amazon thing myself, generally, but for some reason I liked the idea of a big, sensitive, not-too-bright mare being Done's muscle. Don't worry, he's more interested in smaller mares too. >_>
More Amazon broads, pl0x
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Hah, I figured it'd be someone's thing.
2838082 Damn straight. Nothing grotesquely burlesque, but big, strong girls...
"The path before this one is a long and shaded one, perhaps even darker then the path of destruction." *cough* okay am done with that.
KEEP BEING AWESOME BECUSE THATS WHAT YOU ARE!
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"Not grotesque" was actually part of the description I gave when I commissioned a piece of art for an upcoming chapter featuring Bruises. Hopefully you'll enjoy that when it gets finished. Or started. The artist is on vacation.
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Thanks. I love that people are enjoying this still. :)
2838204 this is the third time i've Read this i love it i cant get enough
Great job once again, Distant!
If Bruises ever wants another night with Done Deal (possibly with Bright Jade), hopefully Deal will be able to change her size at will.
Bruises is pretty cute, a powerful giant that only shows her master her soft side.
I'm liking the idea that the secretary actually cares about deal, i wouldn't say it's a fetish but nothing is hotter then the slaves loving and following the master willingly.
This fiction is so damn good.
A super strong, highly loyal mare with industrial-strength telekinesis. Boy howdy, DD's got quite the asset in this one!
And she's kinda cute, too! Like Flutterguy, except with more muscle.
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So much this. Convincing the servant that they want to be controlled and commanded is always preferable to the alternative. It's one of my favorite parts of Distant Gaze's writing, because he always does a great job with the willing servitude thing.
Spiral Dream is best pony *cough cough* Oh hey, what was that? Nope, I didn't say anything!
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...aaaaand then I had to retcon her right out for that comparison. :P
(Kidding, but the Flutterguy thing never caught on with me. :P)
I'm not a big fan of "traditional" rape in erotica. If it ever pops up in one of my stories, it's likely to be one of those "and then she started to really like it" situations that are horribly, horribly unrealistic, simply because I really don't enjoy the alternative. I could write a fairly long blog post on my positions on such matters, if I thought anyone cared to read it.
You got an extra 11,000 words of her that no one else got to see already. :P I miss Spiral and Blank Sheet; they were fun to write in a way no characters in Smoke are going to be. What came out of LightMask's green text belongs to him though, and writing based on a green text wasn't working out for a number of reasons. I'd finish Blank Sheet in a heartbeat if I were just sitting and writing it, but however much work I may have put into it, it's not mine, and I feel bad enough about walking away as it is. I can't just say, "Hey, how about you let me have it?"
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While I was reading this chapter I was thinking of this story.
(my late reply is late)
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And that's exactly why I love your writing, Distant!
Rape just isn't all that interesting anyways, to be honest. Mental subversion and coercion are so much more fun!
I can dream, damnit!