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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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And here. We. Go. This chapter just took a very, very dark turn, but I love the direction this story is going. Done Deal's got a vision and it's starting to snowball very quickly.
This is starting to remind my of a fantasy version of Boardwalk Empire. Me like!
Oh! I'm really liking how you're doing this; the smoke is powerful, but by no means an easy way out. Now the plot is starting to pick up!
...her name sort of inexplicably changes partway through the chapter. It was 'Dusty Rose' for a couple sentences, and then turned into 'Desert Rose' for the rest of the chapter. You might want to look into that.