• Member Since 15th Jan, 2012
  • offline last seen Sep 19th, 2023

The Incredible Werekitty


Ordinary female person who writes odd little slice of life stories.

T

An alternate universe tale based on Experimental Variables by Donny's Boy.

A friend I have on here suggested that Twilight and Sour Grapes would make a good ship. Then I read Experimental Variables and wondered how it would have happened if it had been Sour Grapes instead of Pinkie.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 5 )

Thanks again for asking permission to borrow from "Experimental Variables"! This was very interesting to read, seeing what was similar to "Experimental Variables" and what wasn't.

226797
I'm glad you liked it. :yay:

I am finding it a bit weird that I've got two people tracking this, when it was a one-shot.

226817
Probably means they want to read it later, or just want to save it somewhere so they can read it again :pinkiesmile: I do it a lot of the time.

This is a pretty interesting concept. I must admit that I think that the writing style needs a lot of work since it emphasizes the passive voice and descriptive type language over more action-oriented language. The first two wall-of-text paragraphs made be wary, but things picked up later. Still, though, parts like Twilight was examining her notes on a spell experiment would be better as Twilight examined her notes on a spell experiment and so on. You can see the difference. It's also really dialogue heavy in a way that I think that it needs more, for the lack of a better term, 'flesh' on the dialogue bones of the story. You might want to go to someplace like ponychan and get more detailed reviewer feeback on this.

But that's just me being critical. I love Twilight shipping, and the characters in here seem pretty nice. The concept, like I said before, is great. :twilightsmile:

I wrote something kind of similar myself about Princess Luna being in a romantic relationship with a common unicorn, and she uses this big golden machine to see a statistical projection into the future. Luna saw images of her future wedding and her daughter, but also scenes of sadness-- which all influenced her current decisions. Anyways, I guess that fact made me like this fic even more. :raritywink:

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