“Okay, don’t panic Twilight… this can still work…” Twilight begins to pace at the entrance, and you can hear the gears turning in her head. You start to worry as she begins to grind her teeth, a sound akin to a hacksaw scraping against a sheet of metal. “I just know I’m going to regret asking what happened, so let’s skip to the point; there needs to be somepony wearing each of these Elements.”

“Perhaps…” You receive a flash of insight. “I could find some replacements! Who says your friends are the only ones that can use the Elements?”

Twilight shakes her head. “No way is that going to work. I remember when Spike tried to replace Rainbow Dash. It didn’t end well.”

“Then what do we do?” you ask.

She lets out a long, tired sigh. “Work with what we have. Looking back, I suppose none of us were really trying the first time we tried to stop Discord. All my friends were ‘discorded’, per say, and I wasn’t much better, just wanting to get it over with. I mean, the Princesses managed to do it with just the two of them; maybe we can make it work with three. There is one thing, however.”

“What?”

Twilight taps on the force field, sending out a powerful ripple. “I’m still trapped in here. Somepony – or something- needs to take my place.” She looks straight at you.
Instinctively you back away. “You don’t mean…”

“Who else can we get on such short notice?”

“But… I thought you just said replacements won't work?”

“Please?”

You finally let out a frustrated sigh. “Fine. But if I get turned into a watermelon or something, I blame you.”

As you enter a clearing, your two companions following right behind you, you see Discord resting on top of a throne constructed entirely from bones. It’d freak you out if it wasn’t for the fact that the bones are rubber chew toys.

“Ah, so Equestria’s latest hero is attempting to topple me from my throne.” Discord yawns, obviously threatened by your presence. “Would you mind taking a number? I’m busy relaxing right now. Relaxing is tremendously hard work.”

“Discord!” you cry, “We’re here to stop you!”

“Yes, I already knew that,” Discord impatiently replies. “And I’m horrified. Look at me; I’m shaking in my boots.” He yawns again. “Can we get this over with? I have a spa appointment. I don’t maintain this luxurious coat just by snapping my fingers you know. Oh wait…” He snaps his fingers, and is suddenly dressed in a tux and top hat, a monocle nestled next to his left eye. “I do!” He lets out an obnoxious laugh.

You get the impression that he isn’t taking you too seriously.

“Okay guys,” you say two the other two. “We’ll-”

“What’s a ‘guy’?” asked one of the ponies.

“… Forget I said that. Discord is underestimating us because there’s we only total three strong. He’s underestimating us, and that’s where we’ll get him! After all, the underdog always wins, right?”

“Um…”

“Right?”

“Is this going to take much longer?” Discord taps his wrist a few times, and a watch appears out of thin air. “I’m teeing off at three.”

The three of you begin concentrating with all of your might. What you concentrate on, you aren’t quite sure. What’s important is that you’re concentrating on something. You hear a loud noise, and you open your eyes to see a small stream of magic shooting towards Discord, hitting him square in the chest.

You pump your arm. Direct hit! Your magic has made Discord start…

Laughing. That’s about it.

“Stop it! That tickles!” the god laughs.

“Um, guys? I mean, ponies?” But the other two have collapsed, tired from expending so much magic.

You feel two fingers pick you up by the head, and Discord turns you so that the two of you are looking eye to eye. “Hello.” He grins.

“Um… Hi,” you reply.

“Any suggestions about what I should do with you?” he asks.

“Um… Let me go?” you suggest.

He drops you laughing even harder now. “That was even funnier then your attempt to imprison me in stone! I think I have the perfect job for a comedian such as you!” He snaps his fingers, and all of a sudden you’re on a stage, microphone in hand.

You look out at the audience.

Staring back at you are at least two hundred Pinkie Pies, all with a grey coat. And they all looked pissed.

“Um… Hello,” you cringe as one of the ponies yells at you to start telling jokes. “Oh, um, how about that airline food? You know, with those plastic forks? What’s with that?” You let out a whimper as a barrage of tomatoes fly through the sky at you, effectively painting you red when they hit.

It seems Discord has decided to gift you with a never ending stand-up performance, and has given all the Pinkie Pie’s a never ending supply of fruits and vegetables.
Let’s just hope you don’t run out of material, eh?

THE END

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