• Published 19th Jun 2012
  • 26,939 Views, 912 Comments

You in Equestria: Let's Save a Kingdom - RatherHomely



Equestria needs a hero. They got you instead.

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95

You open a door to a room you hadn't noticed before. You wonder, What is this place? To your shock, you see a man crouched over a table, as though he was reviewing some sort of notes. Actually, oh crap... Er, you should really leave the room! I'm... I mean, he's not important!

The man turns around. You don't know why, you don't know how, but you have the feeling that this man is responsible for everything you've gone through so far. You start walking towards him.

"Oh, um, hello," he says nervously, "I didn't think you'd find me in-" You punch him dead in the face. He falls backwards, crashing into the table. "I take it you're a bit sour," he groans.

"Do you know what I've been through thanks to you?!" you shout, "I've been belittled, beat up, kicked in the face several times, been STRUCK BY LIGHTNING, and more! Not to mention there&'a no way I'm as stupid as you make me out to be!"

"Right..." He stands up gingerly, wincing from the pain. "I admit, I have put you through a good deal..."

"Also," you add, "I hate your other stuff. A Rarity/Tom shipping? Please, I could write better stuff in my sleep! Oh, and what's that you're working on?" You push past the man and look at the notes on the table.

"They're the author notes. I figured I'd put them where a reader wouldn't find them so easily. You know, a reward for exploring the story a bit."

Your curiosity gets the best of you and you begin to read the notes out loud. "'Hey, thanks for reading this story! I've put a lot of work into this and I really hope you enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed making it! It took a few months of gradual work, but I'm really happy with how the final product turned out. Amusingly enough another choose your own adventure story in the same vein as this one was actually published around the same time as I was writing this one. It was a bit discouraging seeing someone beat you to the punch, especially when the idea was something I'd never seen done in the fandom before. I was tempted to stop working on the story, but then I realized how silly it'd be to not do something just because one other person used the same style. There have been numerous stories out there similar to this one (with Kingdom of Loathing being a strong influence for me). Why should I refrain from providing my own take on the genre? Another thing I was concerned about was that I'd be chased off of Fimfiction by people claiming this story was a cheap ripoff of Blueshift's. I mean, the whole "incompetent brony in Equestria"... It's a really weird coincidence.

"'Originally the story was going to be about triple this length. My plan was, at the beginning of the story when you decided on how you were going to greet Twilight Sparkle, the way you responded would effect what conflict you had to solve. One choice would lead to you stopping Discord, another choice would lead to you stopping Nightmare Moon, and another choice would lead to you getting ingredients for Pinkie Pie's cake. To make things even MORE complex, I was thinking of putting a portion of a URL in the ending of each conflict. If you piece all the pieces of the URL together, it would have led to the true villain; the author! The one who put you through all of this just for the sake of having material to write a story! I was halfway through writing Discord's segment when I realized that this would be way too long and convoluted. I'd kill all the perfectionists in my audience with them hunting down every unread chapter they missed. So, I decided to stick just with the Discord segment. As is, the story's pretty big. I don't want to hit Stephen King lengths... Anyway, thanks for reading!'"

You turn back to the man. "Excuse me, I have ponies to save." You give him the middle finger as you leave the room. Jerk...

Comments ( 79 )

i am off on an adventure!

Equestria needs a hero.
It got you instead. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

0.0
You actually did this? Holy jeezus...

726101 No intellectual infringements, but holy hell man! The amount of chapters submitted at once just hurts my eyes period.

726101

I love how well your flutterhy avatar fits the tone of your post :rainbowlaugh:

100 300 word chapters? Jesus.

I love Blueshift's take on this style. It basically made fun of all the HiE (and fanon mentality) stereotypes and satirized the hell out of it, and I can't wait to read this one!

769922
Everytime you use the back button, Fluttershy cries.:fluttercry:
That's even WORSE than using kittens to travel through time! :rainbowlaugh:

770295
Yikes. I knew that part was a bit opinionated, but I didn't think anyone would read it to harshly. :twilightoops:
Um, fixed. Sorry about that.

Status:
RD: Dead, shit herself to death.
AJ: Saved.
FS: Dead, burned to death and walked away after "I" became a therapist.
PP: Threw me out the window because I worship the Spagetti Monster.
Rarity: Saved.
Total kittens: 1 (A moment of silence please.)
Saved the World Status: Stand up comedian to an ass load of discorded Pinkies.
Did I do good?
:derpytongue2:
Also, only you RatherHomely could think of a way for RD to shit herself to death :rainbowlaugh:

Clever place to hide the a/n. Very clever.

It would have been rather cool to see this branch off three ways, but the amount of chapters in that would be ridiculous.

Still would have been cool.

771424
i'm not the author :trixieshiftleft:

Whoa, whoa, whoa! 95 chapters?! That's very, very, :pinkiesick:

Welp,saw every chapter now, including the authors note.

All I've got to say man, is well done. I can't help but feel like most of those dislikes are from people who assumed you were ripping off the Brony Hero story, which is pretty lame on their part since they could simply scroll down to see your comment.

In my opinion, this was better than the other choose your own adventure story. This one was still hilarious, and the protagonist wasn't an over the top jerk, yet still had just the right amount of silliness to them. Plus, what other story lets you shuffle with living dresses, prank Rainbow Dash into crapping herself, and set Fluttershy on fire?

Nah, it's a copy but in another form to disguise the fact that this game is unoriginal.

726101
Dude can you at least place the seperate chapters into ones like 3-4k word chapters:rainbowhuh::scootangel:

Dare you to follow through on your original plan.

In fact....

I TRIPLE DOG DARE YOU.

769717Your comment with your pic make the perfect match :pinkiehappy:

mmmm i past this story thing. but then i randomly pic the last chapter
and it was this.

*Reads only description*

If they 'got me instead' and my fictional theory on Humans being able use magic involved getting a hold of a Unicorn or Alicorn's horn....I'd probably end up turning into a villain of sorts. I wouldn't go around killing ponies for their horns, but I'd be robbing graves for it, and blasting anybody that tried to stop me...

You have to admit though an adventure with the author, Nightmare Moon, and Pinkie's cake as well would of been awesome! Perhaps they could be released seperately later? :twilightsheepish:

772114
As separate segments, but I'd play them nonetheless.

I can't say I'd be much help in this kind of situation... I'd probably be too busy looting and killing to save equestria. There's no Police force or Army here, remember? You could get away with pretty much anything. Especialy if Discord is messing shit up all over the place, providing a handy distraction! :twilightsheepish:

I thought this was a copy of that other story at first but I read it anyway, plus now I read the a/n I see it isn't, still funny either way, I don't see a problem here.

I ran out of kittens.

774425
Don't ask what I DID find.

I've never laughed so much in my life :3

"You're on your own kid, I've got my own matters to deal with!" (Wrestling with a dragon. And winning.):trollestia:

Great story! I finished the whole thing quickly enough (only had to murder kittens for Pinkie Pie :fluttercry: ), and now I'm going to go back to see what consequences will arise form choosing other options.

As for the story itself, it's got a perfect balance between humor and seriousness, something I thought the other "Choose Your Own Adventure" story seemed to lack. The "hero" of this story is a bit of an idiot, sure, but you wrote him/her well enough that it doesn't come off as exasperating to the reader, at least not to me. There were a few grammatical errors (words missing in some sentences) in some of the chapters, but it didn't really take away form the experience, and I could easily sense the hard work you must have gone through to make such a long story work in this particular format. All in all, it was a quick story that was a lot of fun to read.

As a last note, I would personally suggest that you take the original concept for this story and somehow work it into a sequel for this story. Who knows, with some time and dedication, it might turn out even better than this story did.

Congratulations on getting this story featured, and good luck in all of your future stories :pinkiehappy:

If this isn't a trollfic like Brony Hero (or whatever, the one when you always get the option to seduce anypony), then you'll earn yourself a like, fav and a watcher :trixieshiftright:

On the reading...

Hey... I ran out of kittens... :twilightblush:

Could you possibly... err... you know... get more?

And also, quite the read! Yup... all 95 chapters of it...

Aaaahh! I was logged off while reading this, so now I don't know what I missed!

Time to go through ALL of it by number ._.

776483
In normal chess that isn't allowed. The point is not to kill the king, but rather to capture him.

Normally, if a king or leader was well-liked or respected and was killed in battle during ye olden times wars, he'd be seen as a fallen hero (also called a martyr), and his (or in Joan of Arc's case, her) soldiers would be inspired to fight to the last man or until victory.
On the other hand, if their leader was captured it normally instilled despair, and the soldiers would either leave the army and desert it, or they'd surrender either again, out of despair, or in an attempt to save the life of their leader.
Low moral can be just as deadly to a campaigning army as a knife to the gut.

well than its fucked lol. i'll read this later

776735

Sounds about right, always wondered if I could wedge a apple in her... nothing, nothing at all, im going to sleep now :ajsleepy:

776988
Dude, just write one anyway. It's not like if one person writes a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure, then no one else can.

I'm almost tempted to do a pick-your-own-adventure fic now. Almost. Maybe in the distant future...

Unfortunately, cauliflower eat Schwarzwälder’s chainsaw,so Schwarzwälder cannot harvest crops this year.”

Why did I post this line from "A Slice of Life"?

Because I felt like it.

I hope nobody has done this. Massive Spoilers:

Chapter Arc
1 Intro
2 Intro 1
3 Intro 2 (First Ending)
4 Intro 1.1 (All Links Redirect to Intro 1.1.1)
5 Intro 1.2 (Redirects to Intro 1.1)
6 Intro 1.3 (Redirects to Intro 1.1)
7 Intro 1.1.1
8 AJ
9 AJ 1 (First Link Redirects to AJ 3)
10 AJ 2
11 AJ 3
12 AJ 1.2 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
13 List
14 AJ 2.1 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
15 AJ 2.2 (Successful, Redirects to List)
16 AJ 3.1 (Successful, Redirects to List)
17 AJ 3.2 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
18 AJ 3.3 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
19 Flutters
20 Flutters 1 (First Link Redirects to Flutters 3)
21 Flutters 1.3 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
22 Flutters 2
23 Flutters 2.2 (Successful, Redirects to List)
24 Flutters 2.1 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
25 Flutters 2.3 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
26 Flutters 3 (First Link Redirects to Flutters 1.2)
27 Flutters 3.2 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
28 Flutters 1.2
29 Flutters 1.2.1 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
30 Flutters 1.2.2 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
31 Flutters 1.2.3 (Successful, Redirects to List)
32 Rarity
33 Rarity 1 (Single Link)
34 Rarity 1.1.1 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
35 Rarity 1.1.2 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
36 Rarity 1.1.3 (Successful, Redirects to List)
37 Rarity 2
38 Rarity 2.1 (Successful, Redirects to List)
39 Rarity 2.2 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
40 Rarity 3.2 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
41 Rarity 3
42 Rarity 2.3 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
43 Rarity 3.1 (First Link Redirects to Rarity 2, Second Link Redirects to List)
44 Rarity 3.3 (Single Link, Redirects to Rarity 1.1)
45 Pinkie 1
46 Pinkie 1.1 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
47 Pinkie 1.2
48 Pinkie 1.3 (Successful, Redirects to List)
49 Pinkie 1.2.1 (Successful, Redirects to List)
50 Pinkie 1.2.2 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
51 Pinkie 1.2.3 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
52 Pinkie 2 (First Link Redirects to Pinkie 3)
53 Pinkie 2.2 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
54 Pinkie 3
55 Pinkie 3.1 (Successful, Redirects to List)
56 Pinkie 3.2 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
57 Pinkie 3.3 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
58 RD
59 RD 1 (Single Link)
60 RD 2 (Single Link, Redirects to RD 1.1)
61 RD 3 (Single Link, Redirects to RD 1.1)
62 RD 1.1
63 RD 1.1.2
64 RD 1.1.2.1 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
65 RD 1.1.2.2 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
66 RD 1.1.2.3 (Successful, Redirects to List)
67 RD 1.1.1
68 RD 1.1.1.2 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
69 RD 1.1.1.1
70 RD 1.1.1.1.1 (Single Link)
71 RD 1.1.1.1.1.2 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
72 RD 1.1.1.1.1.1 (Successful, Redirects to List)
73 RD 1.1.1.1.2
74 RD 1.1.1.3
75 RD 1.1.1.3.1 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
76 RD 1.1.1.3.3 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
77 RD 1.1.1.3.2 (Successful, Redirects to List)
78 Discord (Third Link Redirects to Discord 2.1)
79 Discord 2
80 Discord 2.1
81 Discord 2.2 (Fourth Ending)
82 Discord 2.3 (Fifth Ending)
83 Discord 2.4 (Sixth Ending)
84 Discord 2.5 (Seventh Ending)
85 Discord 1 (Second Ending)
86 Discord 2.1.1 (Third Ending)
87 Discord 2.1.2 (Second Link Redirects to Discord 2.1.1)
88 Rarity 1.1
89 Pinkie
90 RD 1.1.1.1.1.1 (Single Link)
91 RD 1.1.1.1.1.1.1 (Single Link, Redirects to RD 1.1.1.1.2)
92 AJ 2.3 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
93 AJ 1.3 (Unsuccessful, Redirects to List)
94 Discord 2.1.2.1 (Single Link, Redirects to Discord 1)
95 Author's Notes


Well, that's 2 hours I'm never getting back. Anyway, you SHOULD read the story, it's great. This can be a guide of sorts for afterwards.

Well, just spent an hour or so reading every single chapter :facehoof: I have WAY too much time on my hands. Great read, nonetheless! Liked and faved, you've earned it!

776721
haha, thats ok. I was kinda high on painkillers and pointing out the obvious. :twilightsheepish:

774264 Um... Where's a glass? Eh, I guess this will do. *raises water bottle*

769728 I've seen waaay longer... But no objections, or negative comments here! LET'S ROLL!

780578 I see myself as the grave digger for inanimate objects with personalities.
...
I love my job!
-Glassed

BRILLIANT, I loled so hard after reading this....:rainbowlaugh:

782496 I DON'T UNDERSTAND! WHY?! I NOT SPOIL, IS MY CHOICE!

782909 Obvious troll is obvious. The comment was about me picking Canvas Bags everytime dude. You are 100% correct, the ballad of the bag called me. :rainbowwild:

This was wonderful. Thanks for the laughs.

784610

Sparing things? You're funny!

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