You in Equestria: Let's Save a Kingdom

by RatherHomely

68

If there’s one thing you know about Dash, it’s that her brain doesn’t move nearly as fast as her wings. Perhaps this is one area that you can beat her.

“It’ll be a contest of wits.” you say smugly. With all the minesweeper you play, anything you take Rainbow on in will be a breeze.

“You’re on!” Rainbow Dash shouts back. “I’ve got the fastest brain in Equestria.”

“Yeah, maybe if someone threw it…” you mumble.

How is this possible?!

You stare at the chessboard, eying your sole remaining piece. You then look at Dash’s pieces. Except for a few pawns, she still has her entire board intact. Maybe you still have a chance?

You reach your hand out, feeling it shake more than a drink ordered by James Bond. Grabbing onto your last piece, you move it one space forward.

Rainbow Dash, who looks more bored then your friends during your Purple Passion joke, finally lets out a disgruntled sigh. “Look, kid, we’ve been at this for a good half-an-hour. And all this time, I haven’t had the heart to tell you that you lost the moment I took your first piece.”

“Hey,” you snap, “Just because I lost one piece doesn’t mean I lost!”

She lifts her hooves into the air, shaking them at the gods who cursed her with such a crappy opponent. “The first piece I took was your king!”

“… So?”

“You lose when you lose your king!”

You scoff, folding your arms and looking away. “Pfft. Yeah right. My kingdom is a democracy. Once the leader dies, a new one is elected. Therefore, you’ll have to kill all my pieces if you want to beat me.” Rainbow Dash moves her bishop to take your last pawn. You look carefully at the board, and then back at her. “So… Can chess pieces have babies? Because, if so, I think I may have a few more pieces on the board.”

Rainbow Dash screams with rage.

Once you regain consciousness, you find that you have a hoof-print on your face. You’d say something witty, like “My face is now twenty percent cooler,” but it doesn’t feel twenty percent cooler. It just kind of stings.

Alas, it seems your shot at Rainbow Dash has fallen flat. Unless you want a matching hoof-print on another part of your body, I suggest you move on to another pony.

> Head to the list.

Comments

[moonstne]

As a chess player, I found this hilarious.

[WorldWalker128]

771616
as a chess player, I'm offended that he lost so damn easily!

[Mehnlo]

As a (mediocre) chess player. I wonder how you can manage having the king be the first piece you take. . .

[Jacensolo43]

King as the first peice?

[RatherHomely]

776079>>776483
I call it the "King Rush" offensive. The idea is you send out your king first, then use its amazing ability to move one in any direction to blitz your opponent's board. It's foolproof!

[Lobotobro]

I want my face to be twenty percent cooler...

[RedvsBlue327]

776818 As another Chess player, I shall now go to great pointless length to explain the problem with that strategy.

Trying to move the king to the opponents side at the begginning of the game would result in a waste of moves to develop your army to better locations, meanwhile at the same time, your opponent would be surrounding your king, and undoubtedly using their Bishop and Rook to massacre your undeveloped side. Not to mention, since kings can't move to spaces where they could be taken by your enemy, your king would be stuck two squares in front of the other guys line of pawns. Or, if his/her pawns were moved in such a way you could get your king back there, the other guys other pieces would most likly fill those gaps, assuming he hasn't checkmated you yet. Even if you managed to get your king near any of their pieces, they would then just fling their rook, knight, or Bishop to the other side of the board. As for their Queen, it's impossible for your king to take it, unless they were foolish enough to move it next to your King. In which case, your against a noob, where such a strategy may actually be feasible.

And lastly, it's impossible for the King to be the first piece taken. It can only be check mated, not taken.

[Black Fox]

777635

Equestrian rules are slightly different

[Paladin Redflare]

I AM GREATLY AROUSED! But I came before I got this far in the story!

[MustacheMerlin]

I would've challenged her to magic the gathering! I never go anywhere without my cards!

[Godiswithus3]

.....

I can't believe this did not work.