You in Equestria: Let's Save a Kingdom

by RatherHomely

36

Well, Rarity isn’t a computer, but it’s still worth a try.

“So, Rarity. You want everything, yes?”

She sneers. “Of course! Everything should belong to me!”

“So… What if I gave you a gift? Would you want anything I give you?”

“That question is preposterous! Of course I’ll want anything you’ll give me!” Rarity’s nose is raised so high it seems like she's bout to crash through the ceiling.

You grin. Normally your brain wasn’t this clever, but you suppose there’s always that one mad spark of genius everyone gets now and then. “Alright then… I give you nothing.”

Rarity froze. “What?”

“I’ll give you nothing. And since you want whatever I offer you, that means you now want nothing. That also means you can’t possibly want anything else, since anything else would be something, and not nothing. And since you also want anything I offer you, if I offer you something that isn’t nothing, that’ll be an endless cycle.” You smirk. "Checkmate." You’d give your brain a high five, but you’re kind of tied down.

Rarity’s eye twitched. “But I want everything... Which isn’t nothing... But I want nothing since I also want everything, but that isn't nothing which I want, but if I want nothing I won't get everything which I do want but that would be something which is nothing which I want since everything-” You watch her left eye twitch, and you think she's about to start frothing at the mouth. Suddenly, a serene calm fell over Rarity. Her gray coat turns to a mayo white, just like her old self. “You know," she sighs, "Maybe I don’t need everything.”

> Boo-yah! Success! Now hurry up and get her to take you down, you have lots to do and a list to do it with!

Comments

[Meliron]

And that's ALSO something I would do. Logic ftw.

[Dracmatais]

I... I can't believe that worked! Seriously I was totally expecting to fail with this one.

[Mally]

I think this is my favorite of the diplomatic (sort of) methods. And even more fun than the violent method this go round.

Applejack: Concussion. SUCCESS!
Fluttershy: Set on fire. SUCCESS!
Rarity: Logic bomb. SUCCESS!
Pinkie Pie: ????
Rainbow Dash: ????

[8loodyrain]

im getting them all, backwards

[tomw20]

BEST. CHAPTER. SO. FAR.

[WorldWalker128]

I'd never have thought of that. Maybe he's not as dumb as I thought.

[Pracca]

Following my best Johnny Bravo-based instincts WORKED? Something's gone wrong. Very, very wrong.

[Inkdrop]

FINALLY!

[MrPikmario]

Bravo me. That's two in a row!

[Edmar Fecler]

I was expecting her head to explode for a moment there.
...or at least begin to sing "Dasies"

*shrugs*

Oh well. This worked just fine too, i suppose.

[Flabbergasted]

Error 404 Intelligence not found! :(

[Trachyon]

So, I actually attempt to fail in the most hilarious way, and end up succeeding?

...I'm even greater than I thought I was.

[ilikepinkiepie]

771936

Applejack: Concussion. SUCCESS!
Fluttershy: Pattycakes FAIL
Rarity: everyone died FAIL R.I.P. kitten redo: ERROR......uuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmm
Pinkie Pie: anti-element juice FAIL R.I.P. kitten redo: Random to the extreme
Rainbow Dash: Deaf pony FAIL R.I.P. kitten redo:Nothing. SUCCESS!

[Godiswithus3]

Oi. Took me four tries. phew.