The air smells like smoke and this tea tastes like burnt plastic.

One ordinary mare. One never-ending time loop. Infinite ways to die.

How long before she snaps?

Pinkie has a bad Hairdra day and winds up peeking further beyond the Vale than she’d have liked.

But, more certain than death and praxis, she’ll make sure everypony else has fun again.

Written for the October 2016 Writeoff, where it won first place.

Note: This story is written in the style of James Joyce’s Finnegans Wake, a classic work of English literature that is notorious for being hard to read. While this story is not as cementically dense as FW, it is still full of wordplay, literary references, portmanteau words and puns and will be a challenge for many readers. If this isn’t your sort of thing, try one of my other stories. If you’re game, dig in! It can help to read the story aloud.

Image background by Chaz1029, foreground by Mahaugher, with edits to both by GGA.

Thanks to Morning Sun, FanOfMostEverything, Quill Scratch, Baal Bunny, and Not_A_Hat for criticism, suggestions and corrections.

Pinkie Pie has an existential crisis while painting her room. This self-parody is dedicated to Professor Piggy, who once told me that I could write a story about Pinkie watching paint dry and weave it into an incredible psychological journey. Let's see if he was right.

Featured on Equestria Daily.

Dramatic reading by MicTheMicrophoneZero.

Cover art by chaosdrop.

An alarm sounds. There's a planet nearby. I wonder if anyone can hear me.

"Do you understand the price of disobedience? Find the pieces. Retrieve the pieces. You have two hours. Do not disobey."