When Shining Armor was in high school, he was given an assignment to take care of a bag of flour decorated like an infant filly. By the end of the week, "Floury Armor" was a prize-winning batch of muffins and the yearbook committee had unanimously voted him "Most Likely to Appear in a Future Villain's Tragic Backstory." This really should have been a red flag, but for some reason the Queen Bee of the school still married him anyway.

When Shining Armor found out that his wife was pregnant, he was quick to introduce the Crystal Empire to the idea of a gender reveal party. Luckily, that quarter of the city had been due for extensive renovation anyway and his explosion-proof wife appreciated the sentiment.

Now, when his daughter is turning into a pony he no longer recognizes (and he can't even blame the changelings this time), it's up to him and his self-proclaimed stellar parenting skills to save her from herself.

My entry for the Shining Armor is a terrible dad competition.

Proofreading and pre-reading very helpfully contributed by Light Striker, GreyTheGriffon, RB, Pneu, and Scream Queen

With Maud settling down in Ponyville, Marble studying in the Crystal Empire, and her parents finally deciding to retire, Pinkie Pie wonders if Limestone is going to be okay running the Pie Family Farm all by herself. She's never done well on her own, and her cold demeanor probably isn't going to get her a boyfriend anytime soon.

Luckily, she knows an equally lonely human who is perfect for the job!

Anon feels like there's no need to get up today. He's been feeling a lot of things actually, and that's why he has been spending most of his time in the library lately.

But today he won't be able to stay put, because at the incredibly important festival they've set up a mystical tent, that even magic itself compels him to visit.

Princess Celestia has become quite worried about her dear friend when she has started acting unlike herself. She has a hunch that the newest resident of Ponyville is to blame.

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There is a Russian translation about this story, Celestia's story and Luna's story on FicBook, PonyFiction and Tabun.

Crotch sniffing has become a problem in Ponyville lately, with the arrival of Equestria's only human, such a problem that mares charged with it are sentenced to Crotch Sniffers Anonymous in the hopes they may change. Rarity, there for her first offense, meets a Ms. Mare.

This story is written for the crotch sniffing thread in /mlp/.

This story is a sequel to Hearts and Shoes Day

A shocking revelation quickly ends any thoughts Anon had about enjoying a lazy morning, fortunately, he has ponies he can trust to help him see through his mare friends antics.

Sadly, he didn't have anyone to stop him from trying to one-up Ponyville's premier prankster.

Technically a sequel to my previous Anon and Rainbow Dash story, but reading it isn't required.

Fluttershy had her suspicions. After all, no one knows her body quite like she does. As a result, it came as no surprise when the doctor told her the big news:

She's going to have a foal.

She has some conflicting feelings about this, but she can only imagine what Anon, her boyfriend and the soon-to-be father of her child, will think.

Maybe April Fools' Day wasn't the best time to learn this information.

The pony that came back after 1000 years of exile to the moon was not the pony that Celestia expected. Instead of the menacing figure of Nightmare Moon what she instead got was a madly cackling alicorn rolling in a grassy field occasionally taking a break to stroke the lush green plants as if they were the most fascinating thing in the world.

While this was certainly better than the alternative Celestia was a bit miffed that her sister had not even acknowledged her presence before going to play in the grass. How could grass be more interesting than her?

When Anon finds a gun he knows just what to do with it, much to the frustration of everyone around him.

Cover art by DeadTris Productions

This story is a sequel to Shining Armor’s Terrible Roommate Sings About Wings

You are Anon. You settled down and got adopted by Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadance for tax reasons, long after your adventures ended. But you're starting to think that Prince Shining Armor might be a terrible dad.

This is a submission to the Shining Armor is a Terrible Dad Competition!