Banishing her beloved sister to the moon was a grievous mistake, one Celestia would remember until the day she draws her last breath. There was only one another that could ever match it. She made both of them in the same day.

An Elden Ring crossover.

Finally, it is done. The Legion of Doom is defeated, and Equestria will soon be passed into Twilight Sparkle's most capable hooves.

However, a few days before her departure to Canterlot an unusual package is delivered to her chambers, one that will change everything she's ever known.

A weird thing that came to my mind after a few days of playing MGSV and reading a particularly amusing crack theory about mlp.

Spoiler for the ending of MGSV, but only if you squint hard enough.

24/04/2022, 25/04/2022, 26/04/2022, 27/04/2022 Featured! Didn't expect it, but it happened. Nice.

It was all about the process. Without a focus in her life now that Twilight is the single ruler of Equestria, Luna decides to apply for her dream job.

A mailmare. The best mailmare in all of Equestria. Or at least the Greater Canterlot Mail District. This would be a fantastic learning experience.

My captor was kind, to a point. They provided me with a comfortable private suite, three meals a day, and tried to accommodate any of my needs within reason. It was a far cry from being locked away in a dingy dungeon or straight up killed, but I still was a bit wary about the true intentions of this alicorn. 

A gilded cage, however, is still a cage.

Edited by UnamusedWaffle. and INeedSleep

Thanks to Snuffy for proofreading chapter 9 part 1

Credit to Neither for the amazing cover art!

It's morning in Ponyville for DM, a recluse who borders on the line as a suspiciously cynical, misanthropic stallion who generally has a distaste for most things happy under the sun.

One day, he decides to head out on a small mission, to his dismay, and give his only friend a break from bringing him food. But that's not all, unfortunately for him.

Though he dislikes his decision to go outside and interact with ponies he prefers to keep away from, he takes it upon himself to make his only friend happy by interacting with her friends as a way of paying her back for all the good she has done for him.

Princess Luna was always known as the solitary princess. She spent much time in her room, attached to none else other than her sister for their trade of the heavens. She was a very lonely princess, even if it appeared that she preferred the isolation.

Twilight Sparkle found an odd book in her shipment from Princess Celestia. Hoofbound and unlabeled, reading it opens a door she cannot, and will not, close with the youngest diarch.

She will not let one of her friends hurt alone, not on her watch.

Coverart is temporary until I can make my own.
(Featured 2/24-27/22, huzzah!)

Walter, human who has a door in his house that just-so happens to lead into Canterlot castle, is popping around for a cup of sugar. Little does he know that his judgement is about to called upon in a way he would never have expected...

This story is a sequel to Like Clockwork

It has been approximately three years since Cozy Glow passed into the tender loving care of Paul the human and she has, in spite of these dire circumstances, done quite well for herself. Indeed, it may be fair to say she has thrived, becoming if not a wholly normal teenager then at least a more well-rounded and settled one. She is happy.

By contrast Paul has, if anything, regressed. The man who felt his life had not amounted to much and what little remained would amount to even less has instead thrown himself - in his own way - wholeheartedly into trying to set up Cozy for her own life, with very little thought given to what is left of his own. While she moves forward, he has slipped backwards, and the gulf widens or so Cozy fears.

The situation is untenable, both sides have the best of intentions, and mistakes are made.

Pretty hilariously stupid mistakes.

(Also the only story of mine ever to have been pre-read (in places) beforehand by someone else. How exotic!)

Roger, local human, is weird, or at least is weird in Rainbow Dash's estimation, but he does appear to have some extra food and she knows he won't mind sharing with her.

You really do need to keep an eye on Cozy Glow. Turn your back for a second and she's off, away and escaping. Over the hills! Out to the sticks! Out to villages that might maybe possibly have not heard about what she did, or at least not yet.

There to plot, there to plan, there to get started on getting everything running smoothly and like it should again. Or at least get started on cooking up some revenge. Either way.

And there's also that weird alien thing she came across. He could be useful...