Fic recs, January 6th · 2:52pm Jan 6th, 2016
The computer situation crawls steadily forward. c.c I've got like two options left to pursue, but it's looking like I'll need the most expensive kind of data recovery if I want my shit back. D: Why does this always happen to me. This is why I'm trying to get a temp job for the rest of month. :(
If you weren’t aware, Ether Echoes is doing a print run of The Well of Pirene. I have yet to read the story myself (waiting on the audiobook to finish!), but I hear good things about it!
Does anyone remember, a long, long time ago, a story about Twilight horribly betraying and killing all of her friends or something? I could have sworn it was called “The Sundering” and was by RagingSemi, but the only story I can find anywhere with that title is by GaryOak. I apparently want to read it again or something. c.c It's been found! Expect a review of The Severing (hah!) in the near future.
Lots of stuff today, including TheMessenger's Property of the Crystal Empire, Mortality by BronyWriter, and... Twilight's Bathroom Is Flooded With Semen. :|
H: 1 R: 2 C: 3 V: 0 N: 2
Property of the Crystal Empire by TheMessenger
Genre: Adventure
The official report of a Crystal Empire investigation into reports of changelings on the border.
This is another very ambitious piece that almost hits the mark. The only things holding it back are editing mistakes and an unsatisfying conclusion. It does an awful lot of things right, though. The journal format is used particularly well, being a military report and all. The expungements give it that sense of officiality without being overwhelming. In particular, a redacted entry serves to throw a big twist into the mix. Be sure not to read it where it’s linked: let the aftermath stew in your mind before you find out what caused it. The ending is, as I said, not the best, leaving a lot of questions (which isn’t bad in its own right), but more importantly, frustrating me over the characters’ identities. I mean, the narrator is Flash Sentry; this is easy to figure out, but not revealed directly until halfway through, not even in the character tags, and I don’t know why not. (Side note: he’s kind of an idiot, and I had to agree with him when he wondered aloud how he got his rank.) Who he ends up spending most of his time with is what frustrates me, but I’ll leave figuring that out as an exercise to the reader. This does a good job building the feeling of a changeling chase through tundra wastelands, and all the near-death experiences, low morale and surprising turns of events that come with spending an extended period in the company of a small group of people. If you mind the typos, and there are a lot of them, this is a good read and a good example of journal fic done right.
Recommended If You Can Forgive Typos
The True Actual Story of How Things Were Back Then by Ara
Genre: Trollfic
Skype introduced me to this author, and their fics seem so wacky, I just had to read one to find out. I apparently picked the wrong one, though, because this is a story about Luna being a pedophile. <.< And while it’s obvious that this author is a troll of the highest caliber, I feel distinctly trolled. I mean, it’s not played for laughs at all beyond "wouldn't this be funny?" Well, no. I will admit that I did still laugh at a couple things, like the dialogue including emoticons written long-form, and I want to say this is an oblique parody of Children of the Night, but it definitely didn’t strike the right chord with me. I’ll try another some other time.
Not Recommended
My Mountain by LunaUsesCaps
Genre: Drama
Tasked with saving her workplace’s water heater, Derpy must overcome her physical limitations as well as her hatred of racing.
When I talk about “Earth-analogue” settings, it’s usually an acknowledgement of a certain amount of cynicism inherent in the way Equestria is written in a story. When pony society is faceless and uncaring, it starts to feel more like our world. In this story, harsh taxes and budget cuts drive the plot, and it was that, far beyond Derpy’s inherent cynicism and bitterness, that set me ill at ease while I read. That’s not to say this piece is bad, far from it; but I must point out, this isn’t the Equestria we know and love. Still, there were a lot of small things around the edges that distracted me. Why does Derpy hate racing? Not just dislike, but hate. What’s with all the brouhaha surrounding the other racers? Why is Spike a pegasus? And both why and how was an entire stadium built in Ponyville for a single race? (Not to mention: since when does Ponyville have a university?) These were merely distractions, however, and the actual problems were fewer. Rainbow Dash is characterized as a loud-mouthed idiot a good year or more before Equestria Girls was a thing. I was also irritated somewhat by the fact that Derpy has one whole practice session before she’s expected to win the race. This is mirrored by the weight of the moral victory at the end; not to say that it’s a bad ending, just that Derpy herself points out she’s only known this mare for ten minutes. It’s the ending of a much longer fic, is what I’m getting at. But most importantly, I was bothered by how little agency Derpy has. Maybe it was intentional, but this really seemed to be a story about Cloud Kicker. And on that note, this isn’t properly a Winningverse piece, but it is inspired by it, and I spent the whole story wondering if that were the case. In the end, it’s a decent early take on Derpy’s character that rushes itself and gets tripped up by distractions.
Winningverse Fans Would Like It, I Assume?
The Gator, the Girl and the Tanuki by BLAMEY0URFATE
Genre: Adventure
Apple Bloom’s attempt to get a cutie mark for taking care of Gummy leads to adventure with a strange creature.
If there’s a reason I didn’t particularly like this, it’s that Apple Bloom is fairly passive throughout the entire thing. It’s mostly a showcase for the “legendary” Tanuki, who’s just kind of a huge ass, and Gummy to get into trouble. That, and it’s telly. As season one fics go, though, it’s pretty decent and aside from being formatted like poem stanzas, this passes the Zecora Test. Not exactly a classic, but could satisfy if you just need something to read.
Recommended If You Don’t Mind Telling
Mortality by BronyWriter
Genre: EQG
After twenty years, Adagio visits Sonata with some bad news.
The plot of this piece is pretty standard, but with the Dazzlings filling the main roles, it takes on new life. The two of them talking about mortality, what they’d left behind, and their place in the world was pretty compelling. The ways in which Sonata have changed were fun (and well explained), and Adagio’s bitter clinging to their past was believable. This isn’t your standard “the Dazzlings’ lives are terrible” story, and it’s definitely worth reading if you wanted more of them after Rainbow Rocks.
Recommended
One Morning by ArgonMatrix
Reading by Me!
Sequel to One Night
Genre: Dream
Cadence talks with Luna about her nightmares.
After reading One Night, I was left confused and a little disappointed, thus I turn to the sequels to hopefully make sense of what happened. While this doesn’t exactly explain everything, it posits a whole lot, brings Cadence into the mix, and ends with a pretty powerful exchange between her and Luna. I was reminded somewhat of Cadence of Cloudsdale, though only insofar as being an alicorn puts a pony under stresses others won’t ever experience. This definitely piqued my interest for the rest of the series, which I shall continue to review!
Recommended
Analemma by Miller Minus
Genre: Slice of Life
The mare comes to the beach every month, like a bolt out of the blue.
There are a lot of stories this fandom likes to tell again and again and again, and if this piece does anything phenomenally well, it’s showing that those stories still have novel ways to be told. Miller Minus is a name that’s been peeking in at the edges of my awareness lately, and while I’ve reviewed a couple of their stories before, this is far and away their best yet. The opening line just wrenches the reader’s attention, and the whole story’s setup — from the characters at play to the situation to the time period — is a real joy to figure out. None of it’s particularly difficult to do, save the identity of the narrator, which isn’t a factor until the final chapter, and that reveal was especially satisfying. The writing is top-notch, and the narrator’s voice is fantastic, not to mention very Australian. In all, this is a remarkable piece of writing, just really great.
Highly Recommended
Twilight’s Bathroom Is Flooded With Semen by Majin Syeekoh
Mature: Sex
Genre: No
No.
I had to know. And now I know. And now I wish I didn’t know. Just no.
No
I'm not sure what you expected with that last one. It's pretty up front about it.
You thought TBIFWS was bad?
That's just the tip of the iceberg.
You didn't even give it chance, could have been a ton of sailors scrubbing the floor.
You know, there are stories where the title pretty much tells you all you need to know.
Incidentally, I think this is the first time I've seen the 'no' rating.
3667999
Like this for example?
But the last one is such fertile ground for derivative stories. Why, it's almost like they're children of the original. It's an idea that could easily give birth to a whole universe filled with, what else?
3668013
I paid homage to it.
3667999
Dammit, now I need to write this.
Dammit. Now I have to read a Majin Syeekoh fic. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.
Don't tell Majin.
3668015
Majin is pretty darn good at seeding trends.
PP couldn't handle the gush of semen.
rip
Did
Did you just make a new rating just for me
...I'm honored.
3667984
3667999
3668001
Okay, so funny story
I HATE EVERYONE IN THISI was gonna do a vs. post on Twilight's Bathroom because, hey, 14k views for something released last year, it kind of was a Thing, right? Then I noticed the sequels and the other spinoffs and said, hey, maybe I'll just do a whole edition, and then I read it and I just had been hoping for something other than what had been intimated by the description and that didn't happen so I'm not reading any more except 3668008Can you summarize that semen fic for me
I kinda wanna know too
3668079
FYI, I actually read and reviewed Twilight's Room is Flooded with Seamen and it got a NR from me. It isn't like, super crude or anything, but it really isn't as funny as you're probably hoping.
Thanks for the plug!
.
.
.
I'm a dude
I can't say I know of a different Sundering other than Gary's, but what I do know of is another of Gary's fics called Repercussions that deals with that exact thing. It feels very Star Wars-ey in its execution.
3668209 Spike does what teenagers do, finds out dragons produce gallons and gallons. Sequels involve Twilight's castle being subjected to increasingly huge amounts.
The fic you're looking for is RagingSemi(originally HFPS (High Fructose Porn Syrup))'s The Severing of Friendship (originally just Severing), which you can read here. Be warned, it hasn't aged well.
Also, you have nobody to blame but yourself for investigating the semenverse. I mean, come on; what did you expect? Should poor Majin be expected to put a trigger warning on a fic that's literally titled Twilight's Bathroom is Flooded With Semen?
Warning: contains a bathroom belonging to Twilight, which is flooded with semen!
...I dunno, it feels to me like you should've seen this one coming.
Because downvotes — as 3667956 can tell you from recent experience.
3668651 And he even had the gall to not give me an NR.
3668735 Not that there's anything to actually like about Flash "The Sue" Sentry, but people just downvoting stuff on sight is a plague... nay, a cancer that festers in this site and sadly discourages more than one user. I effing hate it when I find a user doing that, but I also love finding them... for other reasons.
3668651
Stahp
3668908
To quote PresentPerfect...
No.
3668873
I think "No" is its own special category: the one for when you're drunk one night and type a random thing into google image like blue waffle or (God help up all) Two women one cup and then you wish you hadn't but of course it's too late by then; what's seen cannot be unseen. [protip: do not google those things]
Hell, I went into it knowing exactly what was going to happen. I was not disappointed.
Reminds me of a fic I was reading once where the author complained that people were actually liking it. I commented that he'd promised a train wreck and he was delivering a train wreck, so of course people were liking it. We knew what was coming.
3668079
Does that mean you're not going to review Twilight's Bathroom is Flooded with Pandas? It's like my best work, man.
3669002 I mean, I guess.
Like Chris said, it was his own damn fault for expecting something different than what the title, description, hundreds of comments, and several fan sequels told him to expect.
I'll wear my No as a badge of honor. In fact...lemme edit the description right quick.
3669017
As well you should. I thrive on the occasional "Oh God, why would you do that?" reviews or comments I get.
3667999
NVM, 3668008's rec is all that I could have hoped for.
3669017
By witnessing this honor, you've given me something to aspire towards.
3669027
3669033
i guess you could call it my seminal achievement.
3669062
Dammit, Syeekoh.
I mean, uh, not like I can talk, or anything...
3669219 You're goddamned right you can't.
3669032
I live to please.
3668882 Downvoting and upvoting on sight are both plagues. It would reduce both if there were no upvote/downvote icons on the story page, only at the bottom of each chapter page.
3668209
3668610
There's a heavy suggestion that Twilight performed some kind of sex act on him. That's where my 'no' comes from.
3668507
You are an ambiguous, unknowable thoughtform until I discern otherwise. :V
3668651
I wasn't expecting pedophilia, is the thing? <:B This is the entirety of my objection.
3668735
Excellent point, actually.
3669002
Oh, actually I am. <.< It is, in fact, entirely your fault that this has happened.
3669017
See above replies.
3669375
I am currently trying to work out a metafic called If You Downvote This Story, Flash Sentry Wins. >.>
3669512 I suppose that's a fair complaint, but you still admitted you walked into it knowing it might be there.
3669544
Majin I want more semen
3669559 Kitsu
I hung up my semen flooding ways a looooooong time ago
3669544
Can you blame me for hoping it wouldn't be? D:
3669580 I guess I can't, no.
3669563
Don't you mean
Dried out
3670052 I guess yeah