Martyr - Noun - One who makes great sacrifices or suffers much in order to further a belief, cause, or principle.
Going off of this definition, Gallant is most definitely a Martyr: He's died for the lives of others on more than one occasion, actually. That means he gets Paradise, right? Heaven? Something better than what he's left behind?
If only.
For whatever the reason, Gallant doesn't get the traditional afterlife everybody else gets. He doesn't get eternal salvation, or damnation. Which kinda sucks if you ask him: Death is supposed to be some kind of closure, right?
So... Why does he wake up in a self described Limbo? Why does this Limbo have escapes into other realms of existence? And why does he insist on throwing his life down to protect others every time he gets out? Its not like he enjoys Limbo: The place kinda breaks his mind every time he visits...
Well, after getting himself jettisoned out into the vacuum of space so an escape-craft full of militarized civilians can escape a plague known as "Necromorphism" (The cause of which sets what's left of his brain against itself, apparently) he inadvertently falls into a rift in between realms. (Commonly referred to as a "Wormhole.")
Guess where he gets spat out?
Yep, good ol' Equestria. Time to find out what happens to a man who's died more than his fair share of times in a land full of colorful talking ponies who seem to be obsessed with helping the broken. And Discord. (Can't forget the Draconequus, can we?)
What could possibly go wrong?
Just going from the description this is going to be good. The concept of reincarnating martyrs is interesting, and seeing what it entails should be a pleasure. I'll post my opinions after I actually read the chapter.
Ok, attempted to post a long comment on this but apparently got rejected or something. Main idea was good story, Gallant needs more flaws to give him something something to overcome.
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Glad to hear you like the general premise of the story, and also grateful that you took the time for a bit o' constructive criticism. Rest assured that I do in fact have quite a few flaws that will be presented in the following chapters, but I decided against throwing more at this one because it was already so long and wordy, especially when compared to the first crack I made at the concept. He's actually got a form of mania when it comes to battle, especially when backed against a wall, suffers from extreme social retardation (especially when compared to the Ponies), and gets obsessive over pet-projects incredibly quickly, just to name a few. Like I said in the initial pitch, his mind isn't exactly whole anymore, and I intend to have fun with that.
Also, good sir, Chaos or Harmony?
From what i've read about him i already like him, but really? Pinkie Sense? Please don't continue to use it as a Deus ex Machina device to have her explain stuff she has absolutely no right to know about its used far to often and is bad storytelling if not used in proper context.
Try to keep a a lot more vague when using the Pinkie Sense, like her telling him that its going to be a real bad doozy that's coming out of the portal or that he really should check if he doesn't have something better then a rivet gun on him because she has a feeling, is ok.
Other then that its a great start.
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Oh and i forgot: hes not really mentally stable so CHAOS!!
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Sorry 'bout that, bud, but Pinkie's... different in this rendition. Bubbly as ever, but not exactly the same "Pinkie" that we know from the show. Explanations will be given, don't worry about that, but that'll happen far later on in the story when we find out it isn't just our little party pony in that skull of hers. Needless to say somepony had to bring Gallant here, right?
I'd say more, but then that'd be SPOOOOILLLLLLERSSSS~~
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Figured that'd be the first vote received, humans being humans and all. xP
Current tally:
Chaos: 1
Harmony: 0
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For now ill be wary about that Pinkie stuff because she gets used too often as a "get out of explanation free" card.
And it has nothing to do with humans being humans it has to do with the fact that he is probably insane to the point of acting rational, because no human mind is capable of handling whatever he is going through and stay intact
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Aye, he's been through a hell nobody should, and it'll show. Just wait until he gets into it with that hulking morph in the next chapter, that's were the cracks will really start to show.
"MAKE US WHOLE, MOTHERFUCKER!!"
Oh how I love dealing with Marker-Taint~
But personal insanity aside, the influence the audience exerts over him is a way to change who he is via changing the way his tech may be used. You don't have to pick Chaos just because he's bat-shit insane ATM. :P
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or to be more precise i like batshit insane characters that do crazyawesome things that surprise the hell out of everyone around them!
And i like batshit insane and it just fit here
2425471 Ah good, I was wondering if he had some as of yet unrevealed flaws. Also I vote harmony, just because otherwise Gallant would probably be rejected by his newfound equine aquaintances.
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Then you'll probably like what I've planned in this next chapter, Mr. Penguin: Stay tuned.
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You don't have to worry about that right off the bat at least, the stuff he salvages/makes from the scrap parts he finds won't be too crazy to begin with even with gung-ho Chaos decisions made by the readers until later on, when magic starts being thrown into the mix by whatever unicorn-companions he makes along the way. Then things'll get fantastical: Digi-Claws and Temporal- Accelerators are just a couple of the later possibilities I've come up with so far...
Current Tally:
Chaos: 1
Harmony: 1
Good chapter. I think that's all the explanation for Gallant and the necromorphs you'll need for at least three chapters, and that leaves the way open for advancement.
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Ironically, I figured that out just after writing the word "Die." What was initially going to be a chapter filled with action had turned into a story filled with exposition, and I'm perfectly happy with the result.
Also, in answer to questions of power one and two, I shall make two guesses, both of which I know are wrong, but I still wanted to say. Respectively, Professor Satchafunkalis and the Musterion of Rock, idklol, and Realm of the Mad God.
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Close on the first one, just think a little newer. Good to know I'm not the only on on FiM that follows the Professor, though. Surprizes me how few people 'round here know about him... Blast ye, South Carolina, even Michigan had more instrumental lovers than you...
As for the second, you were mildly close with the Mad-God's realm, but unfortunately there were in fact three realms he can actively draw memory from that were referenced in that rant, so you're still a long way off. Better luck next time?
This story deserves more views. Also, this concept deserves more fics.
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I suppose the views will come in time, and the stories if this thing ever gets popular. Only thing to do is keep on working on it, really... And add it to some groups. Kinda forgot about that until now.
Hm. Well, this seems pretty damn interesting just from the description. I think I will read this now.
Question number 3? Because 42 is the answer to all problems. Play AC: Brotherhood and you'll see why.
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Close, but not quite. Assassin's creed has absolutely nothing to do with why 42 was picked. In fact, I'm assuming 42 was picked in homage to the real reason this number was picked. Here's a hint: You've gotta state the full answer to the question. :P
I guess I'll have a crack at question 3. 42 was the answer to the question "what is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything?" which was asked to a supercomputer whose name I can't remember.
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Correct! Transferring over to PMs to discuss your reward! Congrats on being the first, Mr. Pingles.
Yeah, the PM system doesn't seem to work on my phone. I'll send my request over to you tomorrow.
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Alrighty then.
For Question 1 I am going to guess Black Swans and Wormhole Wizards by Joe Satriani, Its all i can think of.
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Holy Heel! Two in one day! Congrats to you, Newcomer Drake! I'll send you a PM with your reward decision post-haste!
Also, Chaos or Harmony? People seem to be forgetting this. :P
Harmony, There's been enough chaos for now.
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Righty then~
Current tally:
Chaos: 1
Harmony: 2
If you're going to do a rewrite, then it would be best if you put this story as cancelled.
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Mmm, probably a good idea. Many thanks.
Was about to jump into this, but then saw it was cancelled. Saved myself in the brink of time.
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Yeah, you really did. It's a peace of shit. :P
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I'm on to your other story though.
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Orly?
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lolwut?
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