The Trio

by BuddhtistBrony

The Pegasus Weather Meeting

Characters in order of appearance
Dinky Doo
Derpy Hooves
Princess Luna

Once every month, all of the adult Pegasus in Ponyville report to Cloudsdale to discuss the the next months weather cycle for that month. The rules were set by the royal sisters, Tia and Luna, and they made sure that they were upheld by attending themselves. When everyponies favorite mailmare , Derpy, arrived everypony was thrilled that she said yes and rainbow dash promised to make sure the sky was clear on that day. The mailmare had Dinky on her back so she could talk to the teacher and ask her for the favor that Derpy knew that the Princess` wont let happen.

"Princess Luna," Dinky said waving her hoof then bowing as the princess of the night flew over. To her mothers surprise Dinky Doo leaped through the air, growing butterfly wings like Rarity had during the Young Fliers Competition. Luna smiled at this as her student fluttered around trying to get a feel of her newest appendages. After a short while, she explained to her mom how she learned the spell and use it so easily. Then told the story of how Time Turner proposed to Derpy and asked if they could use the castle. The Princesses agreed, and let Derpy know that the castle open to them anytime they needed it. Reminding her they haven`t even set the date yet, she told them what they had left to do and they all heard a sound only few ever get to hear. The Doctor opened up the door to his TARDIS, surprising nopony except Dinky, who was awed and fling around it to try to figure out how it was flying, and when she flew inside of it she gaped passing out from such a remarkable scene.

"Well that`s a new reaction to the TARDIS," the doctor said with a sigh. He lifted her up and took her to Derpys` Bed, with her permission of course. The Doctor remembers what happens when you mess with a companion,and worse shes immortal so if she gets angry shell remember till the universe collapse in on itself ending the entire multiverse.

Author's Note:

I`m going to leave this as a cliffhanger, but i`m to try to going to add more to this chapter(and hopefully all of the others.) So please bear with me, a derper up brony with a scattered mind.

Comments

[Sparkler Hooves]

2341975 Oops. Sorry :)

[BuddhtistBrony]

its alright nobody remembers his name

[V8UC-UNICORN]

Well it's quite late, 00:42 AM (GMT) so I'm putting this on my read later list. I'll read it first thing in the morning. Nice chatting to you.

[BuddhtistBrony]

2375577 kool let me know what you think when your done

[V8UC-UNICORN]

2376367 Alright then. I've read the story and this is my opinion.

First, I absolutely love the concept of the story! I do think that Derpy Hooves X Doctor Hooves is one of the best stallion/mare shippings that can be done. I mean, look at the cover art! They are just adorable together! And when you put Dinky in the mix too... Oh gosh, I might die of the cuteness!

Now, as for the writing itself. Now I can't go around acting like a critic because I'm just an amateur writer myself at the end of the day. However, I do feel that the chapters are just a bit too short. As a result, I just can't help but think that the plot moves too fast.

Like I say, this story has a fantastic concept. Absolutely brilliant. I just think it needs to be a bit slower in pace, so as to let the reader relax a little and really enjoy it. I guess that it is true what they say, "Words have motion", and the speed of this story can make it a little difficult to follow. If I may make a suggestion: When it comes to the really short chapters, why not combine them into larger chapters? Personally, I think that this might make more sense.

I'm adding this to my favourites, as I really want to see how it goes in the future. I truly wish you the very best of luck with this and all your other projects.

[BuddhtistBrony]

2378330 after all the mini chapters are done i am going to make it a multi-part play(or musical) and try to get it animated doctor Whooves and Assistant might enjoy this.

They need something redeeming after their April Fools Joke, never again you got that?

[V8UC-UNICORN]

2385764 OK, then... I think...

[BuddhtistBrony]

2385804 make something for someone else to use, that is my intention.

[V8UC-UNICORN]

2385852 Wait, what?

I should apologise. It's late again and I do feel like, well, this:

[BuddhtistBrony]

2385868 its more that alright, i appreciate and understand your imput

[kaancak]

Talking about the name, here, have a reference.

On a side note,

Try to keep those chapters a lil longer.

If my observations are correct (Which are not %95 of the time,)

-1000-5k, normal lenght

-6k-10k a little long

-11K-100k(Yes.) Too long.

Yours fall below the useless page changing section I think.

[BuddhtistBrony]

2423890 thanks for the comment, i know i`m too fast but i normally write song. Its a gift and a curse.

[alexk1995]

This is a very fast moving, but very well thought out story. I give it a 9.5 outta 10 if it could be rated P.S. I like Tootsweet :)

[BuddhtistBrony]

2443743 I`m glad that the sweet toot reference is well received. This was my first written story not stolen and destroyed, thank you.

[BuddhtistBrony]

2466056 Its incomplete and i plan on doing more with it

[BuddhtistBrony]

2466058 Sure if you dont mind Doctor and Derpy making pip and muffins in the kicthen

[BuddhtistBrony]

2466085 Nice

[Youcannoterasethepast]

Romance and dark in the tags. Never a good combo.

[BuddhtistBrony]

2531690 Im trying to change that image

[Arcticbrony]

alright time to get down and dirty, (no not in that way, get your mind out of the gutter)
you should go back and edit the first two chapters to give it more spacing to avoid the wall of text syndrome, you seem to have fixed it in the later chapters but many wont see past the first ones. maybe take things a little slower? adding more detail is a great way of doing so.
longer chapters is another thing i would reccomend. many (including me) dislike chapters with less than 1k words, with these chapters you could easely merge them together to make bigger ones, (just a tought for upcomming chapters and/or stories
other than that it was much better than the last one.
moving on to wereflutter goodness.

[BuddhtistBrony]

2532738 This is ment to be a play (Which to fimfiction is unaccecptable) so short act by act had to suffice. It wouldn`t go through any other way

[BuddhtistBrony]

2575978 There getting married, but then an "event will occur"
She was married, to a unicorn the one next to Dinky in over a barrel. An accident happened and he died, the doctor saved her from depression a while ago. And now there getting married, is that not clear:Luna emoticon:.

[Slowbro95]

2575996 This story makes no since you can't tell who's talking, I had trouble understanding it. My rating is (2 Out Of 5 Happy Pinkies)( This rating is not penitent it will get better if the next chapter is better understandable)

Shined,
Slowbro95

[BuddhtistBrony]

2919099 Thanks for the input, I hope i find someone to edit this soon.
Why aren`t radio plays allowed on Fimfiction.

[Slowbro95]

2920197 I don't know?

[BuddhtistBrony]

3082394 I`m using the daddy discord song cannon.

[Slowbro95]

3503071 It's Derpy's full name.

[Eclipse LunarSol]

Cliffhanger? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!